A/N: Extra-long chapter. Who's freaking excited for the finale tonight? I'm not gonna lie, I'm really looking forward to it, but don't know how I'm gonna be able to watch it. We don't have an AMC channel in the UK so I'll have to try to figure something out. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

Cheers :)


Day 320

My days recently became a routine. Wake up early as fuck, go outside either with Merle or by myself to hunt and check the snares. Come back to eat something and ensure that everything runs smoothly in prison. It usually involved a lot of walking and talking with people, asking if their jobs are done, or how much progress was made.

Axel, alongside Greg, fixed us some showers. It wasn't anything fancy, only with cold water, but it worked, and no one was complaining. We weren't able to dig into the water in the fields, but Oscar and Rick managed to install a pump next to the creek just outside of prison, so the freshwater came from there. Of course, it needed to be filtered and cooked before use to drink or cook, but it was here.

We had supplies, but with the number of people growing, we couldn't forget to go on the runs, and Glenn was doing great with that. Today, we took a small group to go to a nearby town, the same he and Maggie were kidnapped from. Without a threat from Governor, they didn't have to fear to come back there.

Sasha and Merle were working together on prison security and watch rotation. I could definitely see a change in older Dixon. He was still his old self when it came to stupid nicknames, but he wasn't trying to sleep with every woman in here, so I called it progress. I also noticed that when I was inside the prison walls, he was watching over me carefully. I had suspicions he was doing it so later he can give a report to Daryl. Stupid, I can take care of myself, and everyone here knows that.

Tyreese was in charge of fences, and he was doing great; we didn't have a lot of people to spare, but whoever was able to hold a pipe or a crowbar was assigned to help with it few hours a day. I knew for a fact that Karen was usually one to volunteer, especially if the man was working there as well. There was something in the air there, and it made me smile, to watch their secret glances and touches. Made me wonder if that's how it looked like for my group when they looked Daryl and me during winter.

Carol and other women from Woodbury helped with laundry or cooking, but it was evident that Carol was in charge.

Hershel became our doctor, and everyone was coming to him with back complaints, coughs, and sniffles. He also was teaching Rick farming. We used the things we brought back with us from the garden center, utilized part of the field, and Rick will be planting some vegetables this week. We will have to build some sort of greenhouse for the winter, to not lose all of that, but that's a worry for another week.

Rick himself was still lost and only recently allowed himself to grief properly, and I could see that not being in charge definitely helped that. But another issue was Carl. A sweet, innocent kid that was becoming colder the longer he has to live in this world. I remember that it was something Lori was afraid of, that her son deserved more.

And now was the time to work on it. I sat down in the library, where the council usually meets, and the place that somehow became my office. Rick mentioned that he wanted to speak to me privately, so I offered to meet him here, away from prying eyes and ears. I usually tried to avoid moments like this. Where I was all alone, away from the noises of people busing themselves and from constant growls of walkers. Because when I was alone, I remembered that Daryl is not around, and I missed him too fucking much.

He and Michonne went out for the third time yesterday. Showed us plans where to check next, and even though everyone was worried about their absence, they always brought things back. Gas, some food, and other supplies they found on their journey. But I didn't care about that. Right, I did, but I would prefer to have the hunter here with me. I missed his constant presence and his words of wisdom.

My hand traced up to my neck, and my fingers played with cold metal that hung around my neck. Memories of the pendant and that cold winter evening always brought a smile to my face. Daryl was so awkward when he gave it to me, and so unsure of himself and about my reaction.

"Elena?" Rick's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and my head snapped to the door where the sheriff stood. Behind him, I noticed Carl, who didn't look happy about being here. The boy had his hat on, and he was glaring at the floor, not making eye contact. I dropped the pendant, making it hung in the spot between my breasts, and sent a small smile towards the men.

"Hi, guys. So what can I do for you?"

Rick placed a hand on Carl's shoulder and urged him to take a seat opposite me. The sheriff followed, and both of them sat in front of me while I waited for some kind of explanation. I mean, I suspected what all that was going to be about, and even if I wasn't happy about it, I would try to do my best to help them.

"I thought it's time that we spoke to someone. About- um, everything," Rick explained, side glancing at his son, who just snorted under his nose and folded his arms on his chest.

"I see. And you, Carl? What you think about it?" I asked the boy who glared at me and didn't answer. I had serious doubts that he will say anything in front of his father, mainly because a lot of his anger was towards him.

"Alrighty. The first thing both of you need to know is that it will take time, it always does. But for now, I'd like to speak to Carl. Rick, you think you could leave us alone?" I looked at the sheriff, and he hesitated for a moment before nodding and standing up.

"I'll be with Hershel outside if you need me."

After Rick left, we sat down in silence for a good five minutes before Carl finally looked at me, his face tense and body language still closed off.

"So what? We just gonna sit here?"

"It's up to you," I answered softly with a gentle smile. "We can be quiet, just relax. Or we could talk. Whatever you going to say won't leave this room."

"You mean, you won't tell my dad?" Carl looked surprised and shifted in his chair. I nodded and wetted my dry lips.

"That's exactly what I mean. I know that somethings wrong between you two, but I won't make you talk to him. Not unless you ready. And if you rather keep our conversation just between us, I'll respect your wishes."

"He didn't kill them! Andrew and then Governor! He had so many opportunities, and he didn't take them. He's just a coward," Carl finally spoke in a heated manner with his jaw clenched. "And then, instead of finishing it, he went around and brought back all these people, like they weren't enemy!"

"And what would you do?" I asked him quietly, and his eyes met mine, a fire in them nearly made me sit back, but I fought the urge.

"I'd kill them before they had a chance to hurt us!"

"And what would it change?"

"Everything!" Carl yelled at me and stood up, pacing the room. "We wouldn't suffer for so long. You and Axel wouldn't get shot. Mom- mom would still be alive."

The last sentence was quiet, and he lowered his head, his shoulder shaking gently.

"Long time ago, on a farm, I promised you that I won't lie to you," I started, and swallowed harshly. "Your dad took heavy baggage on himself when he decided to lead us. There were moments when I disagreed with him, and you know that. But those two instances you talking about? I don't think they would change a lot."

"You don't know that!"

"No, and neither do you, Carl. You're right. Your dad had the opportunity to finish Governor, so did I. But there was a chance that his people would still attack us for revenge. And with your mom- Lori knew all along that she would most definitely need a C-section, just like she did with you."

"But, we would have Hershel!" Carl argued, and I knitted my brows, looking sadly at the young boy in front of me.

"Yeah. And in the old world, it wouldn't be such a big thing. We would have machines, blood transfusions, anesthesia. Carl, sweety. I know it's harsh, but if she would still need a C-section, even if Andrew would be dead, there wouldn't be anything we could do. Truth is we weren't prepared for it."

Soft sobs were coming out of Carl's mouth, and his body was shaking, so I stood up and pulled him to my chest to hug him. He was fighting it for a few seconds, before burying his face in my shoulder and crying openly. I think it was the first time he allowed himself to do it since Lori's death. I led him to the chair and sat him down, crouching in front of him.

"Carl, your mom is gone, but it's not your fault or your dad's. She was so very proud of you, and she'll always be with you, in your heart, in your memories and stories you going to tell Judith one day. We live in a dangerous world, and sometimes we have to make tough decisions in order to survive. But the reason your dad brought you here is your anger and lack of judgment."

Carl glanced up at me. He had a hiccup from all the crying he did, his eyes showed utter sadness, and my heart clenched at this sight.

"That boy?"

I nodded and tilted my head. "Yeah. You're strong and brave and capable, and nobody doubts it. But when you found yourself in that situation, you have to know to judge it properly. That kid was alone and scared. You outnumbered him, and he was putting his gun down, you didn't have to kill him."

"I just- I didn't want to regret not doing it. I didn't want it to come back and hunt us, like with Andrew."

"I know, kiddo. But it wasn't the same. He was just a bit older than you, manipulated by Governor, probably never was in a situation like this before. Comparing to Andrew, he was harmless. And you killed him." I knew that my words were harsh, but Carl needed to hear them. His eyes went round as if he realized what he truly did for the very first time.

"I- I killed him."

"Yes. And it will stay with you forever. But there's nothing you can do to change it now except to learn from it. Learn to use your instinct when it's essential and when to trust your gut. You don't have to prove anything to anyone."

"Is that's why dad took away my gun?" Carl asked, looking lost with his eyes down, watching his fingers.

"Yes."

"How do I do it?"

I sighed heavily and tilted his chin up to look into the boy's eyes. "With time. First, you have to let the anger go. When you're angry, you don't think straight. I got something for you."

I stood up and crossed the room towards my desk. Reaching inside one of the drawers, I took out the book I was reading when Daryl found me in the woods. I thought about it for a second but eventually decided that Carl should read it. I passed the volume to him, and he glanced at me, his eyes full of questions.

"Read it, and when you do, we'll talk again, OK?" Carl took the book in his hands and read over the title, nodding softly. He still has a long way to go, but he had people who love him, and with all of us, he will pull out of this.


Day 331

I couldn't wait to get out of this car and do something. I had a bad feeling crawling under my skin, and I couldn't shake it or place it. Merle was chatting shit next to me from the driver's side, but I was ignoring him. In the past week, Glenn was organizing runs to the nearby farms, but all of them were a bust except for some basic supplies. Now we were going further away towards Albany, and something about this was making me nervous.

"Ya thinkin' too laud," Merle said from next to me, and I couldn't stop the laugh that rumbled in my chest.

"You're just like Daryl; he always knows when I'm too deep in my thoughts," I commented and noticed a smile that tugged at the man's face.

"What's wrong, Sugartits?"

"Don't know. Just got that weird feeling like somethings going to happen."

"Ya just were stuck too long behind the fences, Doll."

"Yeah, probably." I glanced out the window, watching the trees while we passed them.

"Ya miss him," Merle commented, making me snap my head back to him.

"Of course I do. We were stuck together for over ten months, and suddenly he goes off by himself."

"Yeah, sure. And ya ain't miss his hot body all over ya?"

"Shut up, Dixon." I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm gently.

"Ya know, if mah lil' brother can't give ya what ya need, I'll be happy to help."

"Keep dreaming. I know you'd never betray Daryl like that, dickhead."

Luckily, the car in front of us turned onto a small road and stopped, indicating we reached our destination. Glenn, Rick, and Maggie were with us, but I was, of course paired up with Dixon. Merle was behaving himself, but that didn't change the fact that no one liked him going without Daryl or me. There still were people who didn't feel comfortable around him, mainly Maggie and her younger sister.

I jumped out of the car as soon as Merle stopped the engine, and I jogged forward to the others. Glenn gestured at me and pointed towards the barn, and I nodded, raising my bow. I crept towards the structure and quickly circled it, meeting Merle at the entrance.

"Clear," I whispered, and he gestured to the door. I banged on it, and we waited for a few moments to see if there are any noises. I pushed the door, letting Merle go first, his hand-knife ready to stroke. The barn was empty, there were no walkers, no animals, but it looked way too fresh. Merle glanced back at me, and his jaw set, the muscle just below it pulsing slowly, showing me that he had similar thoughts.

We went back to the cars were others were waiting, and I glanced back at the small farmhouse. It was smaller than Hershel's, so we will be fine to swap through it. Rick took his machete out and his Colt, jogging towards the house. My stomach clenched a little, but I shoved it aside and went after him. The sheriff glanced through the windows and shook his head. My body tensed and got ready for what's next while Rick stepped back and kicked the door open. I rushed inside first, suddenly thinking that it's the first time, Daryl was usually the leading man. My eyes scanned over the small area in front of me, and I rounded the corner, fletching of my arrow tickling my cheek softly. We checked that floor quickly, and there was some dust on the furniture in the living and dining room. But in the kitchen, there were signs that someone was in here not that long ago.

I led the others to the stairs and waited at the bottom, tilting my head to see if I can spot anything, but there was no movement. I kept taking shallow breaths, trying to not make any sudden movements. Slowly I climbed wooden stairs, cringing a little when they made a noise under my boot, even though I tried to be as quiet as possible. I glanced over my shoulder and pointed to the dodgy step, making sure that Rick and Merle won't step on it. With their weight, it would alarm anything that was potentially upstairs.

I moved again, finally stepping onto the landing, there were only three doors in here, and I moved silently to the last one. When I was sure that the men were securing the other rooms, I turned the handle and pushed the door, stretching the string of my bow again. The room was empty, just like the rest of the house, but it seemed too good to be the truth.

"Clear," Rick's voice echoed in the house, and Merle quickly shouted as well, confirming that there was no one in the farmhouse except us.

"Clear," I added and crossed the room to the dresser, propping my bow next to me. Opening the first drawer, I searched through it, finding some old, but fresh clothes. That's always will come handy.

"Eli, you OK?" Maggie came to the room, and I hummed in reply.

"Yeah, just want to check what we can get with us."

"Glenn found some stuff downstairs, and Rick wants to see if they are any animals in the field."

"Alrighty, I'll be there in a second. We could use some fresh clothes, right?"

"Don't wait too long," Maggie commented and left the room, her footsteps indicating that she went back downstairs.

I checked other drawers and chucked all things we could use onto the bed, glancing around the room for anything I could use to pack it in. Noticing the door on the right, I grabbed my hunting knife and slowly approached it. My heartbeat picked up again, and I reached out for the knob. Before I could open it, the door yanked open, and a man launched himself at me.

Grabbing my wrist in his big hand, he twisted it behind my back and pressed his thumb between my tenders, making me drop my blade. The fight or flight kicked it instantly, and I rose my knee into his groin. The man groaned in pain, but his grip didn't falter, and he punched me in the face making me see spots dancing under my eyelids.

He was huge, towering over me like a giant, with broad shoulders. But he was visibly starved, his face hollow and covered by a black beard that could use a trim. Funny how your mind works during an adrenaline rush, but I definitely was fighting a fucking Viking right now.

"Now, sweetheart. We don't want your friends to come running in here, do we?" He gruffed in my ear and shoved me towards the bed. Using the momentum, I rolled over and tried to kick at him again, but he was a strong man, had almost foot over me, and at least a hundred pounds. One of his hands went to my throat, and the other squeezed my breast harshly, making me yelp in pain. His massive body was on me, and I claw at him, digging my nails into his forearm. I could feel the pressure on my neck tightened, and I started to feel panic. How the fuck did I get myself in that position? Again!

The man shoved his hips into mine, and I cried out again; I would rather fucking die than let him rape me with my family downstairs, unaware. I wrapped one of my legs on his waist and propped the other on the bed. I swang my hand and scratched his face, making him groan in pain and got him distracted enough to shove my hips up and to the side. I pushed him off me to the ground and quickly followed, swinging my fist at his face. I could hear the crack, and my wrist felt like I was stabbed, but I yelled in anger and used my elbow to dive it into his solar plex.

"Fucking bitch," He hissed and grabbed my braid, shoving me to the side. He used my hair to smash my face onto the wall, and I could feel instant nausea, blood dripping down my face. I reached for the rains and get a hold of one of my knives while he yanked me back, shoving me back to the bed. "I'll kill you."

I had trouble focusing, with dizziness and blood pooling from my mouth and nose, but I felt him above me. Taking a chance, I swang the blade, and I felt it dig deep into something soft. The man cried out from pain until his heavyweight dropped on me. I twisted again and pushed him off me, his breathing was raspy, and his eyes were round, staring at me like he couldn't believe what was happening. Blood was oozing out of the wound in his neck, and I grinned at that. I grabbed the knife and yanked it out, red liquid splattering all around me.

"No, I'll kill you," My voice was raspy and unrecognizable. I kneeled in front of him and stabbed him in the temple, watching the man go limp. It took me a moment to realize that it was over, and I felt a stirring in my belly when I stood up. A wave of nausea hit me hard, and I bend over, emptying the content of my stomach onto the floor. I had trouble breathing, and my neck was sore, while blood was still dripping slowly down my face, mixing with the vomit on the once cream carpet. My knees gave up, and a soft sob escaped my mouth when I realized how close I was again to being raped and killed, just under the nose of my group.

Using the dresser, I slowly stood up, fighting the dizziness, and slowly started to cross the room towards the hall. I grabbed my bow, barely being able to hold it, finally realizing that I probably broke my wrist. It hurt like hell, and I couldn't move it properly. Walking was hard, but the others seemed to leave the house, so I had to push through the pain and get downstairs.

When I finally stumbled through the main door, I could barely make out silhouettes off Glenn and Maggie, far in the field. I tried to yell at them, but it was merely a whisper, my throat burning, every time I tried to speak.

"Eli! Come, we found pigs!" Maggie shouted when she noticed me, but it was getting harder to stay awake, my knees buckling under me, and I fell to the hard wooden floor, heaving and gagging violently. "Eli!"

I closed my eyes and breathed heavily while my ears caught the sound of footsteps running in my direction. I tensed up and tried my hardest to stand up, but it was futile.

"Fuckin' hell, Doll! What the hell happened?" Merle's gruff voice sounded right next to me, and soft hands gripped my shoulders.

"Elena!"

"Guy- upstairs," I rasped out, throwing the arm behind me, pointing at the house. A low growl sounded next to me, and it took me longer than usual that it was coming out of Dixon. "Dee- dead."

"What happened?" Rick asked, and I pried my eyes open, Maggie's gentle grip pushing me onto my ass to sit down.

"Hid in the closet," My voice wasn't louder than a whisper, and even then, my throat hurt like hell.

"We need to go," The sheriff ordered, and I shook my head, trying to stand up, but Maggie held me tight.

"Pigs- we need 'em."

"Fuck," Rick cursed, and I saw him pace in front of me. "Merle, get her to the truck. We gonna get the pigs."

I was about to argue that I can walk by myself, but it was the biggest lie of a month. Merle huffed for a second, but I felt his arm wrap around me, and his knife-hand went under my knees.

"You cut me, I'm gonna kill you," I gasped out, attempting a joke, but it sounded pathetic even in my ears. My head was pounding, and I instantly felt dizzy when Dixon lifted me up.

"Shut up, Sugar. What hurts?" His voice was surprisingly gentle, and I glanced up, looking over his face. Or trying to. The swelling on my face was growing, and it was hard to see through my left eye.

"Um- face, nose. Neck. I got a concussion," I wheezed out, leaning my head on Merle's shoulder. At this moment, I missed his younger brother and his embrace, but older Dixon would have to do.

"Shit, sweetcheeks. Darlina will have a fit."

"Ya think?" I felt his chest rumble with a chuckle at my attempt of his southern accent. I suddenly got really tired, and all the strength left me.

"Here, ya go." Merle stopped next to the truck we came in with, and I reached out, pulling the door handle, opening it up. I moaned lowly when a sudden change in position made my head spin. "Sorry."

Dixon placed me on a front seat, and when he shut the door, I leaned my head on a cold window. It helped to soothe the throb a little, but I knew I will be miserable for a couple next days. I just really fucking hoped that Daryl won't come back soon. The last thing I needed was him worrying over me and turning onto overprotective hillbilly.


Day 333

"I really don't understand all that fuss. I'm fine," My voice was still hoarse when I was speaking, so for the past two days, I tried to avoid it. But now, with the new guy in my cell, while I was just in my underwear and tank top, I had to object.

"Elena, your injuries were serious, and I have to make sure you don't have a subdural hematoma," The man, Caleb, answered, shinning a small torch in my eyes. Merle was standing like a statue in the doors of my cell and watching our newcomer like a hawk.

Yesterday Glenn took few people on the run, and except supplies, they brought back a new doctor. A real doctor, no less. And the first thing he did was to check that people in prison are healthy. We found out that Axel's wound was healing correctly, and soon he will be able to go out with us on the runs, something he apparently really wanted to do. After all, he was stuck in this prison for a long time.

"Look, doc. I have a concussion, I admit. And I get that my windpipe was bruised and I have a sprained wrist. But trust me, I don't have bleeding in my brain!"

"Let me be the judge of that."

I sighed heavily and leaned back on the pillows, letting Caleb check my injuries. He was gentle when he was inspecting my bruised face and neck. I looked straight ahead, making sure to not flinch or pull away at the feel of unfamiliar fingers on my skin. It took me months to get used to my group, but getting close to the new people put my body on edge again, making me tense my muscles.

"It heals good, bruises should disappear in about a week. You stopped vomiting, so that's good, but if you feel dizzy or nauseous again, let me know immediately." The doctor stood up and searched for something in his bag. Finally, he pulled out a small jar and left it on a table next to my bed. "That will help. Rub it over the bruises twice a day."

Caleb moved to get out of the cell, and I could see a spark of fear in his eyes at the sight of Merle. Older Dixon had his arms crossed over his chest and looking down on a lean doctor. I smiled softly at that. The doctor hung his head low and push past the other man, escaping like he was chased by fire. I chuckled lowly and quickly stopped when my throat started throbbing again.

"I've been talkin' to people, sugar," Merle started, not moving from his spot. I knitted my brows, wondering where it was going.

"And?"

"Ya got a bad habit of gettin' into trouble."

"Ah, yes." I averted my eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah, especially when Daryl's gone."

"Mm, seems like. Get some rest, Doll. I gotta go." Merle turned around, and I followed his shape with my eyes.

What I learned past few weeks was that Merle was taking his responsibilities very seriously. If he said he will do something he will, he might bitch about it and use very creative vocabulary, but he would go through. And if he gave the word to his baby brother? That was like the most important thing in the world. Merle followed me closely, keeping an eye on me, mostly since I went alone to the woods when Daryl came back. Sometimes it was with my permission, and sometimes he would follow me in a safe distance, thinking that I didn't notice.

It was fucking annoying and slightly creepy, but at the same time incredibly sweet. Like I told Michonne before, under that mask of confidence and macho was a small boy who cared about others. I saw Daryl from before the farm in Merle, and I will be damned if I won't break through his shell. But I knew it won't be as easy as with Daryl. I mean fuck, the journey with younger Dixon was bumpy and long, but we became friends quickly, and as I recently found out, the attraction I felt was mutual since the beginning. But Merle was different.

While Daryl was quiet and closed off, Merle was the complete opposite. At least on the outside. Laud and chatty, flirty. But that was all cover-up for his true feelings. And I knew that the thing he wanted the most was to feel like he belongs and to see similar respect his younger brother was given. And I will make sure that others see he's worth it unless he fucks up, of course. Then I will beat the shit out of him myself.

It was late in the afternoon, and I was sitting on one of the benches outside, watching people busing around. Carol was whispering with Axel while they cooked tonight's dinner, and there was a crew of people stabbing walkers through the fence. Carl and Beth had guard duty, and every so often, I could see girl's blonde hair flair in the window.

Merle was sitting on a log not too far from me, my own guard dog, sharpening the blade attached to his stump. I thought of making a new hand for him, something better and more comfortable, with attachments, so he could change it without taking all of it off. I would have to talk to Mark about this; from what I understood, he was a bit of fixer-upper, and maybe together, we would be able to figure something out.

But for now, I enjoyed the shade and delicious smells that Carol was creating next to me. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, my stomach making flips at the idea of eating whatever she makes later in the day. I was still out of commission for almost everything, but sitting here, I allowed people to come around and speak to me about the council matters. Which is why I didn't cringe when someone sat next to me on a bench and cleared their throat. I pried my eyes open and tilted my head, staring right at Axel, who looked unsure of himself.

"Hi, Boss."

"How can I help you on this beautiful day?" I asked him, smiling widely at the man.

"You look like shit," Axel stated, glancing over my injured face, and I snorted quietly.

"Why, thank you. It's good to know, I didn't realize it."

"Sorry, Boss. I was thinking about power and what we could do to improve the prison," Axel started, a bit hesitant, so I looked over at him again.

"OK, and what would that be?"

"Solar panels. It would require a lot to power up the prison, but just a few could help us here. Charge the walkie-talkies and all that."

"Hm," I scrunched my face and thought over the idea, wondering how we could pull it over. Now, I wasn't stupid, but that wasn't exactly my area of expertise. "And where we could find any solar panels?"

"Ah. I dunno, Boss." Axel's enthusiasm deflated a little, and I patted his hand.

"I will ask. We might not be able to get people to make a run specifically for that, but while we're out there, we can keep an eye open," I told him, and he smiled back, standing up.

"I got a watch shift, see ya."

I watched him wave at Carol, who blushed slightly, and he walked away towards the gate. Hm, interesting. Maybe something was going on between those two, and if so, I was about to tease her about it.

A sudden roar of an engine made me sit straight, and my eyes snapped to the main gate. We didn't have anyone on the run right now, so that could mean only two things. Either some strangers are nearing on us, or Daryl and Michonne are coming back. And the fact that Axel rushed to the gate to open it up pointed to the latter.

"Fuck!" I mumbled under my nose and started to get up, but Merle's gruff voice made me plop back down.

"Stay, Doll. No hiddin' this time." Dixon didn't stop working on his knife, didn't even glanced up at me, but he knew exactly what I was about to do. More fuck! I reached out for the book I layed down next to me on a bench and tried to hide behind it. I made sure that my hair covered most of my neck and focused on the lines in front of my eyes.

My heart was pumping fast, and I felt my stomach drop when the car doors slammed, not that far from where I was sitting. I heard Carol giggle, and I gritted my teeth, making sure to remember it for future reference. I thought we had each other's backs, Peltier.

"What, no welcome from ya, Princess?" A giant shadow cast over me, and I shut my eyes for a second, hoping that Daryl will disappear and won't come back for few more days. I heard Merle clear his throat, and I groaned, opening my eyes again and tilting my head up. I took a big breath preparing myself for the hell that was going to unleash just in few seconds. Everything's fine, nothing happened, and he definitely won't notice.

"Hi, Big Boy. I really missed you. Did you find him?" I spoke and stood up, my eyes connecting with Daryl's blue ones. I immediately saw a change in them when they started darkening, and he pressed his lips in a tight line after hearing my gruff voice. Yay, so much for avoiding the issue.

"The fuck happen to ya?" His voice was harsh and louder than necessary, but his touch was gentle when he reached out to my yellow cheek.

"Ah, you now. The usual. Tripped on the stairs, I'm super-"

"El!" Daryl growled, interrupting my rumble, and I could see Merle raising his eyebrow at my failed attempt. I rolled my eyes and glanced back at the hunter.

"I'm fine, alright? There's no point in dwelling over it. I'm alive, and Doctor S. said I'll be fine in a week," I said sternly, folding arms across my chest. I saw Daryl narrowing his eyes, and he turned around to his older brother.

"The fuck happened, man? I told ya to keep 'er safe!"

"Hold yur horses, Darlina. That girl of yurs got a talent for gettin' in trouble," Merle defended himself while I pulled Daryl back by the back of his vest.

"Daryl, enough. How about we take it inside. You must be exhausted." I stirred fuming Dixon towards the prison and lead him to our cellblock. There were people in the common room, and they all greeted Daryl, but as soon as they saw his angry scowl, they got out of our way.

The walk to our cell was quiet, and you could cut the air with a knife; that's how uncomfortable it was. Daryl's shoulders were tense, and he strode through the cellblock in long strides, eager to get to our cell as soon as possible. He shoved the sheet aside and went inside, making me follow right after him. The hunter stopped in the middle and turned around, crossing his arms on his chest. His deep blue eyes were stirring holes in my face, and I sighed heavily, letting the sheet fell down.

"Alrighty, let's get you cleaned up, Big Boy," I said and wanted to move forward to get to the water I put in the sink earlier, but Daryl shifted, not letting me go anywhere.

"Nah. What the hell happened, El?" Daryl glanced down at me, and his eyes roamed my bruised face and neck, his jaw clenched, and I knew there is no way of avoiding it.

"Right. Um, can we sit down?" I asked and plunged myself on a bottom bunk, patting the space next to me. Daryl hesitated for a second but finally sat down beside me, and I reached my hand, lacing our fingers together.

"Daryl, I think Merle's right. God, that sounds wrong, saying it," I scrunched my face, but then I looked over at the man next to me and immediately felt the warm feeling spreading through my whole body. "We were on the run to one of the farmhouses Glenn pointed on the map. We checked a house, really. But the prick hid in the closet. I even found a fucking new pants for you. He surprised me, and because the house was secured, the others were outside checking what they can find."

"How close?" Daryl asked, his voice strained, and he clenched his other hand tightly.

"Um, somewhere between crazy neighbor and guys in the shop."

Daryl breathed out heavily, and finally, his eyes landed on mine. He was back, so close to me, but I knew he still was angry, and I wasn't sure what I could do to make it go away.

"Merle supposed to protect ya," He mumbled, but I shook my head and placed my other hand on his cheek.

"He did all he could. Look, none of us expected someone to hide in a fucking closet. There were no signs of anybody being in there. Merle was with me until we deemed the place secure. It wasn't his fault."

"Ya, right. It's mine."

I knitted my brows together, not really following his trail of thoughts. "How the fuck would it be your fault, Daryl?"

"'Cause I should've been there for ya. Instead, I chase a ghost with Michonne."

"Yeah, but we all know why you're doing it, Daryl!" I shifted on the bed so I could ultimately face the hunter. "You both are doing it because Governor is fucking dangerous. He attacked us in our home and turned against his own people. I mean, the guy is a psychopath. It gives everyone in prison peace to know that you two are looking for him."

"El- I ain't wanna go, if ya gonna get hurt every time I leave," Daryl stated and also changed his position, bending his knee to the bed. I touched his cheek gently and got lost in that deep eyes of his.

"It was once. And I promise that next time I won't find myself in that kind of situation. I'll always have the backup, but you can't give up on that search just for me," I told him and swallowed harshly. It took all my strength to say those words out loud. I didn't want him to leave, of course, I could tell him that, but I would never forgive myself. I knew how important the search was for Daryl.


Day 340

"Are ya gonna tell me why we goin' there?" Taking a trip with Merle was like going with the kid. You had to have snacks, fight over what is played on the CD player (not that we had a lot of choices), and entertain his childish question every once and awhile. I rolled my eyes and looked out of the window, letting Rick take that one.

"That's one of the places we haven't been through the winter, and you said that neither was Governor," The sheriff answered, his voice was stoic, but I knew him long enough to see that he was losing his patience just as I was.

The drive towards Decatur was about five hours long, and we had three cars, hoping to bring back a lot of goods. We expected to be gone for at least three days, get there, scavenge as much as possible and then come back. But if we were lucky, there would be places that other people wouldn't think of looking, vet offices, tool shops.

When we finally pulled over by the abandoned-looking house, next to a hardware store. We were lucky enough that there were no walkers around, but we all knew it could change any second.

Everybody followed my lead and quietly got out, I silently pointed out at the Glenn and Oscar and at the side of the house, so they can check out the back. I glanced around at the faces of others, Axel was standing between Tyreese and Greg, and he was holding tightly onto the ax. Maggie, Michonne, and Sasha stood still near the vehicles checking around for walkers.

Oscar and Glenn came back and nodded, signaling that it's all clear. I took a deep breath and looked around one more time.

"Axel, Greg, and Maggie stay here on the watch. Use radio if anything is coming. We go in, clear it, and hole up here for the night. Stay in pairs, check wardrobes and cabinets, trust me," I told them and strode over to the doors, Rick and Merle on my sides. I banged on the wooden entrance, and I could hear shuffling and growls coming from the inside. I reached out to the knob, glancing over at the guys behind me first, and when I saw they were ready, I twisted I pushed harshly, raising my machete and walking in first.

A heavily decomposed body lounged at me, but I managed to stab it in the head before it could reach me. I pushed forward, hearing the footsteps of others behind me and grunts from fighting with other geeks. We swiped quietly through the house, checking every corner and every closed door until we were sure that there were no more walkers or no people inside.

"OK, Maggie, Axel, Oscar, and I will go to the Kitchen Garden," Glenn started when we gathered everyone inside the house. "Greg, Tyreese, Sasha, and Michone, you guys go to the north side of the town. Elena, you take Rick and Merle, check the south, and that hardware store next door."

"Alrighty people, you heard the man," I said and started to make my way towards the door. "If something happens, radio the others."

Getting into the hardware store wasn't as easy; it took me a while to get the locks, and then Rick pulled up the shatters, just enough to let us in.

"Keep your eyes open, we stick together, grab tools and anything that might get handy, and get out of here. Elena, try not to get hurt again," Rick commanded, and I rolled my eyes at his comment. Sure, it seemed like I was accident-prone, but it wasn't like I did it on purpose. The bruises on my face and around my neck faded now, to an ugly shade of yellow. I could see properly through both of my eyes, and my voice went back to normal. Therefor Doctor S deemed me fit to go back out, after a little bit threatening, that is.

Rick and I switched on our flashlights, and slowly, silently, we made a swipe of the store. It wasn't the biggest, but it took us a few minutes to make sure that there are no walkers lurking. There was a dead body lying behind the counter, his body propped against the wall, with old blood and brain matter sprayed all over it.

"Alrighty, let's get to it," I spoke when we secured the area, and I pulled the duffel off my shoulder, going to the locksmith section, going through the supplies on the shelves—wires, robes, and padlocks, anything that could be in any way useful. Rick and Merle were adding tools to the bag, and soon we had everything we could think of.

We were about to start leaving when I spotted something in the hobby section.

"Wait up, guys," I told them and crossed the floor, pulling my backpack off my shoulders. My eyes ran over the shelves, and my heartbeat sped up a little at the thought of being able to carve the thing myself. There were few sets, but most of them required electricity, a luxury we, unfortunately, didn't have anymore. But there was one, cheaper pen-shaped with attachable heads. I read quickly through the instructions and nodded to myself.

"We need batteries," I announced and put the square package in my personal bag, swinging it back over my shoulders.

"We got all they had, Doll," Merle replied, and I grinned at him, skipping to where the men stood.

"Great, we can go then."

"All good, Elena?" Rick asked me, his eyes scanning me, trying to figure out what I was up to right now.

"Sure thing, Sheriff. Just a small side project I was thinking about."

"OK, let's go check the town."

We walked the street quickly, and I took out the radio to let others know that we're going into the city. Besides, it was time to check-in.

"We cleared the store, going to the city now, over." I clicked the walkie-talkie and climbed into the back seat, behind the drivers.

"We're here already, it seems pretty cleared out, but gonna keep looking, over," Sasha's voices cracked through, and I hummed, waiting for the third group to speak.

"Had some walker problems, but dealt with it. Walking into the Garden now, over and out," Glenn announced, and I really hoped they would be fine. He had two people who weren't that experienced with the couple, and that worried me. One second, that's all that takes, one mistake, and they all could be dead. I shook my head, pulling myself off the depressing thoughts.


The first two stops were easy and relatively fruitful. We got some food supplies and sets of clothes for everyone in prison. Now we stopped by the gas station, hoping we could get some canisters full.

"OK, let's check the parameter first and the inside, we don't need any surprises today," I ordered, and we circled the small building, my gut clenching slightly when once again we didn't found any walkers. I held my bow up, the arrow notched in place with a machete strapped to my belt and Glock in the thigh holster.

"It's too quiet in here. The city should be crawling with walkers, yet we saw only a few," I spoke out my concerns when we stopped by the main entrance. The windows were boarded, which could mean people, but we had to check it.

"Ain't seems right," Merle mumbled, gun ready to fire in his left hand and his sharpened hand-knife, both prepared for any danger.

"We need gas, and they're still might be supplies inside," Rick added, and I nodded. He was right, but that didn't stop me from feeling uneasy about the city.

"Alrighty, let's get inside. In and out and come back to the base," I told them and started for the door. I banged my fist, waiting for any movements on the other side, but there was none. Even more creepy, it seemed clear, but if so, why were the windows covered?

I tried the handle, but the building was locked shut, so I quickly took my backpack off and searched for the lockpicks. I eyed the hole for a moment and fished out the tension wrench and snake pick, sticking them inside. I closed my eyes, and my hands worked quickly, listening for the familiar sound. When I finally heard it, I smiled triumphally and stood up, putting my tools back into the pack and shrugging it on.

Rick moved forward, and I stepped aside, swinging my bow over the head and pulling the machete out; it was easier to maneuver in the closed quarters. The sheriff pushed the door open and walked in, his hatchet raised high, and the flashlight in the other, shinning some light on the empty shelves. Fuck.

Merle and I stepped in quietly after him and glanced around. Metal units that once held the supplies where pushed and stacked around the walls. There were some sleeping bags scattered on the floor, and I swallowed harshly. At some point, there were people here, and they could still be hiding somewhere around. My eyes landed on the door across the room, behind the counter, and I caught Rick's eyes pointing at it.

"Merle, stay quiet, and put your hand down," I whispered to the Dixon, and he sent me a confused look, but lowered his left hand, pointing his gun at the floor. I huffed and rolled my eyes. "The other one, dipshit."

"Hello? Anybody in here?" Rick asked loudly while I closed the door silently behind me and crossed the room towards the office doors. There was no answer, but I heard a whimper and nodded my head, letting the men know that there's someone in there.

"Listen, we don't mean you any harm. If you want us to leave, we'll, but I'd like to check if you're alright," I spoke softly, and there was a gasp coming from the other side of the wall, and what seemed like hushed whispering.

"Go away. We're armed and don't have anything for you to steal," Male voice answered, and there was a cocking noise, indicating a bullet loading into the chamber.

"Sir, I assure you that I understand why you're scared, but we're not here to hurt anyone. Those shelves look pretty empty, and the city seems to be cleared out as well. Looks to me like you running out of supplies."

"It ain't your concern, lady!"

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. "We're putting our weapons away. We have some food if you need any."

There was a sudden silence and more whispering before the man replied. "Why would you do this?"

I locked my eyes with Rick, and he nodded, urging me to keep talking.

"We have a place, families, children. It's secured, and we're taking people in. I get it, you don't know us, but we're not here to hurt you. We can feed you, and if you don't want to leave with us, we'll leave."

"What's your name?" I clenched my jaw and rolled my eyes. How much longer we going to play this game before they come out?

"My name is Elena, you?"

"David. How can I be sure that you gonna leave if we say so?"

"Man got a point, Sugar. They don't know us," Merle mumbled, and I glared at him, before taking my bow off and dropping it to the floor. I reached for my pack and unzipped the front of it, grabbing the leather wallet, stroking it for a moment. I didn't look at it since everything went to shit. Why would I? It didn't matter anymore and held no value except sentimental. I opened it and stared at my face for a second, barely recognizing myself in the picture. I placed it on the floor and pushed it through the empty space under the door.

"Before everything started, that was my job. That credentials were everything to me," I started and stood up, taking a few steps back. "I know it doesn't mean a lot in this new world, but I swear on it that we mean you no harm, and if you decide not to go with us, we'll leave you alone."

I held my breath for a moment before releasing it when the door slowly opened. I urged Rick and Merle to lower their guns, even though the guy I presumed to be David had his revolver aimed at me. There were five of them, the guy with a gun, David, had black hair and bushy beard. He was tall and lanky, his clothes dirty and ripped in the places, he looked like he was in his late thirties or early forties.

The other man was bulky and just a few inches taller than me, with blonde hair, and he was as dirty as David. The third adult was a woman, she was older than the men, maybe mid-sixties? Her hair was white, and wrinkles covered her slim face. She was holding a little girl, who couldn't be older than two, in her arms. Behind her, clenching to her shirt, was a boy who looked to be around six.

"Hello," I started softly and smiled gently at them. I pointed at myself and then the others, introducing us. "My name's Elena. That is Rick and Merle."

"David. And that's Steve and Ellen." The tall man introduced, but he still looked between us with untrusting eyes.

"You ready for that food?" I asked them and motioned for Merle to take off his backpack, where we put some of the cans we found in the last place. Dixon huffed and mumbled something under his nose but did what I asked him and handed me the bag. I unzipped it and slowly, careful not to spook the group, I reached inside and placed a few cans on the floor one after another. I dropped three packages of chips and some protein bars next to it and stepped back, giving the pack back to Merle.

"So what you doing here?" Steve asked, eying the supplies suspiciously, I wasn't surprised that they were conscious I would be too. Hell, I'll probably already try to kill them.

"Mommy?" The girl in the woman's arms spoke, and she was fidgeting and waving her hands in my direction, making everyone freeze for a moment. My eyes went round, and utter sadness filled my heart. Ellen cleared her throat, sending me an apologetic smile, shaking her head.

"No, sweety, that's not your mama."

"Oh."

"Um, sorry about it. We lost her mom a few months ago. And you kinda look like her," David spoke more softly, and I managed to nod sharply, clenching my jaw to stop the emotions from showing on my face.

"It's OK. Don't worry about it," I said quietly and watched Steve reach for the cans and pass one to Ellen and the other to the boy that was still hiding behind the woman.

"That's Lucy and Luke," Ellen pointed between the kids and sat down on one of the sleeping bags. David grabbed chips and passed them to the boy with a small smile on his face. They weren't bad people; they were just scared and protecting the kids, just like we would.

I glanced at Merle, who looked really uncomfortable, and at Rick, who was shifting in his spot. I sat down on the cold floor and patted areas on my sides, asking the other men to join me. The sheriff did so almost immediately, but Dixon was a different story. He glanced at the people we just found and slowly sat down, with one leg bend, gun in his lap, ready, in case they would attack us.

"So that place of yours, where is it?" Steve asked, using his fingers to scoop some of the canned beans and shoved them into his mouth.

"About seventy miles down south," Rick replied, making the men snap their eyes towards him.

"Anything else?"

"Look," I started and tilted my head. "It's secured with fences and walls. We have supplies, building a community, bringing survivors who want to go with us. But we not going to tell you where it is unless you commit."

"Smart. I get it," David commented, glaring at his friend. The black-haired man looked over at the dirty kids, who ate quickly like they didn't in a long time. I noticed the girl kept her sky blue eyes on me, mesmerized, and I breathed in deeply, averting my gaze.

"Hom many of you in there?" Steve asked again, and I faced him again.

"Around thirty at the moment."

"And if we decide not to come?"

"Then we going to take our things and leave you alone. We mainly came here for the Kitchen Garden to get some seeds and see what else we can get."

"And if we say yes?" Ellen asked, hugging the girl to her chest.

"Then we would have three questions for you."

"Why?"

"To determine what kind of people you are. You aren't the only ones who would take the risk," Rick answered, his face growing serious. It was quiet for a few minutes when they finished the food, and then they went back to the office. All we could hear was distant whispering when they discussed what to do.

"Ya think they'll come, Doll?" Merle's gruff voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I shrugged.

"I think they were out here for a while. It's just three of them, and they have kids. They would be stupid, just ignoring our offer."

"The kid kinda looks like ya."

My eyes snapped to Dixon's and my brows furrowed. That was the last thing I wanted to think of right now.

"She's not mine, Merle," I said harshly, hoping he would get a hint and drop it. That was wishful thinking, though.

"Could be. Rubbers will be gone soon. I betcha Darlina and ya could make one like that."

"Merle, shut up," Rick spoke out loud while I glanced down at my clenched fists, trying to stop them from shaking.

"Just sayin'. Unless all that talk 'bout lil' brother stickin' wood in her was all lies."

"Merle, drop it, please," I managed, nearly choking on the words, my voice low and husky from emotions.

"Sure, Sugar. Just pushin' yur buttons."

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down, and that's when David and his friends came back into the main room. They had small packs with them, and Lucy had her shoes on, and her shoulder-length blonde curls were tied in a low ponytail. My eyes were glued to her round face and those big blue eyes. Is this is how Amelia would look like if she would be alive?

"Ask us your questions, Elena," David spoke, and I smiled widely at him.

"How many walkers have you killed?"

"You mean the dead? Um, many. But we were lucky to find and clear this place."

I nodded in understanding and straightened my back. "How many people have you killed?"

There was a shadow crossing Ellen's face, and she glanced down at the kids, pulling them closer.

"Three."

"Why?"

"To stop them from turning," David said sadly, and I nodded.

"Great. Do you have a car?"

"Yeah, it's behind the store."

"Great. You can follow us. We have a meeting point with the rest of our scavenging group, and tomorrow we'll go home."