Chapter 104
April 13…
One month after the mission.
Chiba and Hayami decided to hang out at Hayami's.
Hayami's petting Kayda "How're things at home… your sisters? You never said how they reacted?"
Chiba's tracing his bracelet "Nee-san is adjusting better than I expected. She relaxed after I told her why we had the mission and how he really was."
"That's good. Senna?"
He shrugs "Could be better."
She nods and both are silent.
Chiba 'It's tense… I guess that's understandable. We haven't really seen each other since then… why did she invite me over? Isn't she scared of me…'
Hayami 'Awkward… this is isn't like normal… It's Ryuu. I love him. I know he won't hurt me. So why… why do I feel on edge…'
Chiba clears his throat "So… how're things with your mom?"
Hayami shrugs "Good. I explained things a bit two days ago. She was nervous for a sec but relaxed. Her and I… well. You know the past."
"Right… and it's because of your past… Rin… Be honest with me. Are you afraid? The things I did that night…"
Hayami tenses and stays silent.
Chiba nods sinking a little "That's what I was expecting…"
Hayami turns to him and holds his hands "I know you didn't have a choice. It was an act of self defense. All of us would be dead if you hadn't. You wouldn't have done that if there was another way. You wouldn't do that to anyone. You would never hurt me…" she squeezes his hands looking at them, "I know that…" her eyes water and she shuts them tight "I know all of that! So why!? Why do I feel this?! Why am I shaking as I hold your hands? Why am I so tense being alone with you?! Why do I feel this…"
He looks at her and moves one of his hands free to cup her cheek "It's okay. I understand. Maybe… maybe you just need some time… I'll never hurt you Rin. I love you more than anything. Even if you fear or hate me. I'll always love you."
She looks at him with tears streaming "I could never hate you…"
Chiba smiles and gently kisses her forehead "Take your time, Rin. I'll wait for you."
"Ryuu… what do you mean…"
His eyes are filled with tears but he keeps a loving smile "I'll wait for you. I'm always here if you need me. I know I helped you work to overcome your past… but I can't help you with this…" he chokes a little "I can't help you… I'm the one hurting you… I'm sorry…"
"Are you… are you breaking up with me…?"
"I want to do what's best for you."
"Please… don't leave me… I love you…"
He pulls her into a hug "I don't know what to do… I don't want to hurt you… I want to help you… I just… I don't know what to do…"
She clings to him "I don't want to break up… we're partners… we can get this together… right…?"
"I really hope so. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. I need you…"
Both just hold onto each other afraid to let go.
Meanwhile at Nakamura's house…
Her mom frowns "Really. When you said you're friends were coming, I thought they'd be better looking. This one is cute. Except do something about the hair? It's horrifying!"
Nakamura "Okay… we'll just- be in my room-"
They get to her room and her friends are visible annoyed.
Nakamura laughs nervously "I didn't think my mom would say anything okay! Fuwa your hair is adorable."
Fuwa touches her ends "I like my hair…"
Sugaya "Ummm she called us ugly?"
Nakamura waves it off "Anyways. I thought it would be nice for us to hang out. I invited Chiba and Hayami but they just said 'Not today'…"
"At least you got. Two word response from them."
"You guys are getting responses?"
"I'm pretty sure I'm blocked?"
"Someone has got to check on them."
"Ritsu has?"
The girl on screen nods "The two were just together. Chiba just left Hayami's house."
"Fuck I'm calling him."
Sugaya quickly clicks Chiba's contact and waits for an answer.
"What?"
Sugaya "Come to Nakamura's?"
"Not today."
"Hey man? You okay?"
"……when are you gonna be back at your house? Or when are you leaving there?"
"I dunno? We just got here?"
"Leave your window unlocked tonight."
"Chiba wait- Chiba? Bastard hung up on me!!"
Nakamura pokes him "Well?"
Sugaya leans back "I dunno… he sounded very depressed…"
Okajima "Ritsu? Did something with the sn- those two?"
"You were gonna call them 'the snipers' weren't you…"
"It's a habit okay!"
Ritsu shakes her head "I couldn't hear them."
Fuwa sighs "Do you think it's cause Chiba ya know…"
"Well yea?"
"Let's face it…"
"All of us have been a little nervous talking to him and Kayano since then?"
"I ran into Kayano in town the other day? It was kinda awkward… like neither of us knew what to say."
"Haven't seen Chiba since we met at the classroom. Hayami too…"
Sugaya lays down on Mimura "We seriously need to do something about them…"
Mimura blushes slightly but nods "Yea… I'm worried."
Later that night
Sugaya's laying in his bed with his window unlocked and with snacks and some cocoa on his desk. He has some soft lights on and also extra blankets.
'Chiba should be here soon… i wonder what thiss about… whatever happened today with Hayami probably. Well that's a given- but what happened between them…'
He sighs and closes his eyes while he waits.
The window opens and Chiba climbs in without saying anything.
Sugaya lifts his blanket up while Chiba takes off his shoes and climbs into the bed with him.
Sugaya "You're freezing…"
Chiba "Most be because I'm a cold blooded murderer…"
"You didn't have a choice… you did what you had to do."
"I got Kayano killed."
"Kayano's alive. She's alive. We're all still alive because of what you did. If you hadn't-"
"If I hadn't done it he would've killed al of us and Korosensei. I know this. I know I had to do it. I know I didn't have a choice. I know what it meant when I pulled the trigger… but… but that doesn't make it any less horrifying."
Sugaya rubs his back and runs his fingers through his hair softly "You can take off your mask completely."
Chiba freezes for a moment then tightens his grip on him shaking slightly.
"Nightmares… Yanagisawa's maniac laughing… he mocks me… Zaraki… Zaraki too… I'm a monster… just like them…"
He doesn't say anything else and instead just hangs on crying quietly.
After a while, he stops crying and let's go sitting up more.
Sugaya keeps an arm on him "Cocoa? Cookies?"
Chiba nods picking up both mugs and handing one to his friend "Thank you… You went over to Nakamura's with the gang?"
"Yeah. We hung out. Try to keep some normality. Watched movies, dressed Okajima and Fuwa in cosplays, did the girls makeup, missed you and Hayami, made food."
He looks at the steam rising from his cocoa "I'm sorry for not going."
"No. No apologies. Anyways? You sounded really upset and like we were walking when you called earlier. What's up? This about that or something else?"
"Almost broke up with Rin…"
Sugaya's eyes widen "What?!"
Chiba nods "She's scared of me. I want to do anything I can to help her. Even if it means… not being able to see her…"
"And…?"
"We didn't break up luckily. She didn't want that either… I don't know what to do. We decided to take things slow. I love her. I love her so, so much… I don't want to lose her… but I can't hurt her. She's been through so much already…"
Sugaya sinks a little "It'll be alright. She knows you wouldn't hurt her. She'll come around, but give her a bit of time. It's only been a month…"
"Right…"
Meanwhile Nakamura…
Nakamura jumps hearing something knock on her window then relaxes a little seeing her surprise guest.
"Wanted me all to yourself I guess?"
Hayami climbs into her room and sinks against the wall "We almost broke up."
Nakamura's eyes widen "What-?!"
Hayami nods curling into a ball shivering.
Nakamura picks her up which startles her
Hayami "R- Rio?"
Nakamura sets her on the bed and puts a blanket around her shoulders "Let's get you into some comfier clothes and something to eat okay?"
Hayami nods silently watching the blonde retrieve a loose shirt and sweat pants.
Nakamura "Here. I'll be right back with some food."
"Mkay…"
She leaves and returns with some leftover pizza "I ordered an extra box earlier… so we split it?"
Hayami smiles a little and reaches for a slice "Thank you."
They stay quiet for a moment.
Nakamura "I heard from Sugaya earlier. Chiba went over your place? I don't know what happened, but Sugaya told me Chiba was over there with him and that I should expect you coming."
Hayami looks away "Ryuu went to Sugaya's after what happened?"
"No. Apparently Chiba got there around 11ish."
Hayami sinks "I… I'm scared…"
Nakamura looks up at her paying close attention.
"I know he wouldn't hurt me… but I can't get it out of my head… the gun shot… the blood dripping… corpse hitting the floor… the fear and guilt… his terrified state… He helped me with Zaraki… it's my turn to help him……" she gulps "But I'm scared… I'm scared of him…"
Nakamura reaches and holds her hand "It'll be okay. You just need some time. Take things slow. I'm here for you. So is he… he loves you a lot. I do too. Rinka you're my best friend. I'll do anything to help you."
Hayami's eyes water looking at her "Rio…"
Nakamura cups her cheek "Take your time. You can't force yourself to help him if it hurts you in the process. You know that doing that will hurt both of you. Take it slow, readjust. It's only been a month…"
Hayami leans into her touch "Can I stay tonight…?"
"Absolutely."
End chapter
Shorter chapters cause I get sad and tear up a little bit at certain things
@lumigo akvo9504 Isogai really needs and has definitely earned a break but is he gonna take one?? NOPE
@alpha099 Thanks!
@Le055Li0n 1. I'll take your word for it lol 2. *eyes water* th-thanks
