Chapter 51
"Excuse me?" Gordon asked in surprise as he was up on his feet and once again facing Virgil.
"I said I'm not going anywhere."
"Who the hell do you think you are," Gordon snapped angrily. "You have no right to be here…you're not…" he stammered as he tried to get his words out past the anger that was clearly growing in him. He tried to leave but Virgil stopped him from moving by grabbing his left arm.
"Let go of me," he spat as he pulled his arm from Virgil's grip.
"Gordon please, just stop," Virgil pleaded. "Let me help – talk to me."
"Talk to you?"
Virgil gave a nod.
"Why should I talk to you…you never wanted to talk to me before. Or at least he didn't," he answered waving arm in front of him as of pushing the mistake he'd just made away from him. "Why do you want to help me anyway…did Scott send you?"
Virgil just gave a small shrug "Because even though you're not my Gordon, I can't just walk away when it's obvious that you're hurting, not if I can at least try and help… and why would you think that Scott sent me?"
In that moment Virgil noticed that some of the tension that had been coursing through the red heads body had evaporated slightly; just as his shoulders slumped forward tiredly.
"Scott told me I should talk to you," he admitted "but I just thought he was going crazy or something."
"Why?"
This time Gordon looked up at Virgil and really looked at him. That was when he saw it, something he hadn't seen from his Virgil since he was a kid – true compassion.
"Because Virgil never wants to talk to us about anything, or wanted to should I say. He was always too caught up in his own thing, or doing something for Dad that he never wanted anything to do with us," Gordon said as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
"And you hated that?" Virgil probed gently.
"I guess I got used to it. It became normal I suppose. Plus I had Scott, John and Alan to rely on which helped."
Gordon once again took a seat on the nearest sun lounger while Virgil took a seat on the one opposite, his back to the pool.
"Are you close with your brothers?" Gordon asked. Virgil just answered with a nod.
The warm expression in Virgil's eyes while his gaze remained fixed on the redhead, was unnerving to Gordon. Yet at the same time he could tell that this Virgil really did seem to care about him and that thought caused a sadness to wash over him. That was something he wasn't used to experiencing; yet at the same time a part of him wanted nothing more than to savour the moment for as long as he could.
"You know, I actually pitied him in a way. Although he had a closer relationship with our Dad he never got to know what it was like to be close with his brothers."
"Yeah, I can't imagine what I would be like not being close with my brothers," Virgil admitted.
"So you're close with all your brothers then?" Gordon asked curiously.
"Yeah I am."
"Like close that you know everything about them?"
"Pretty much."Virgil agreed.
"That must be cool," Gordon murmured quietly as his gaze once again returned to the pool.
"I'm surprised that you're not in there swimming laps," Virgil said when he realised what it was that Gordon was looking at.
"I just didn't feel like it," he replied curtly as his gaze broke away from the pool and moved down to the flagstones at his feet instead. The look that washed over his face was brief but Virgil saw it…fear.
"What is it Gordon? What's the real reason why you're not in the pool?"
Gordon shook his head as tears began to cloud his vision. "I can't…" he choked out
"You can't what?" Virgil asked softly as he gently rested his hand on Gordon's knee. In response to Virgil's touch, Gordon jumped up and tried to get away from him. But instead, he turned too quickly and lost his balance, crashing into the end of the lounger and landed in a heap on the floor.
"Gordon," Virgil gasped as he rushed forward to help the younger man. As he crouched down next to Gordon, Virgil could see the tears that were now streaming down the red heads face.
"Are you injured?" Virgil asked as he approached the fallen man and quickly looked him up and down for any obvious signs of injury. Gordon shook his head while at the same time he angrily wiped away the tears that were still falling down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry if I upset you," Virgil said as he helped Gordon to his feet "I was just trying to…"
"Well don't," Gordon snapped back as he pulled himself free of Virgil's hold. "I get it okay; you're nothing like my brother. But that doesn't mean that you have any right to come in here and try to fix things you know nothing about."
"I wasn't…" Virgil protested
"Really, I know you were talking to Scott earlier. Plus, he would have never suggested that I should talk to you, so whatever you did to him… don't think you can come waltzing in here and try to do the same to me."
Virgil put his hands up in surrender as he took a small step back from Gordon. Gordon's words had stung. All Virgil wanted to do was try to help Gordon as it was clear that he was hurting, but he didn't like being accused of something that he hadn't done.
"Yes I spoke to Scott," he admitted "but I didn't force him to open up to me and I'm not going to force you either. But I'm concerned about you Gordon. I can see that you're struggling and I think that talking to someone might help you."
"And you think that someone would be you," Gordon snapped, although there was no real anger behind his words.
Virgil just gave a small shrug of his shoulders in response. "I know that you've all be hurting since you lost your brother," he stated bluntly.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"I know you weren't close to your Virgil, but that doesn't mean you don't miss him," Virgil continued, his voice soft as he spoke.
"I…"
"Is that why you're not in the pool?" Virgil asked gently. He had experienced something similar with his own brother once after a water rescue hadn't gone as smoothly as everyone had hoped and Gordon blamed himself. It then took him some time to get back into the water and to be able to trust his abilities again. It was only after he had talked to someone about how he was feeling that he was finally able to start healing from the ordeal.
"I don't know what you're talking about…I just didn't feel like having a swim that's all," Gordon insisted, although even to his own ears his argument didn't sound convincing.
"Talking about will help you know," Virgil insisted.
"What would you know; you don't know anything about me or what I've been through."
"You're right I don't…"
"Then don't act like you do…okay."
Virgil gave a small sigh "I'm sorry Gordon, I just wanted to help."
"Well you can't…" Gordon snapped again. However, before Virgil had the chance to apologise again, Gordon added "Not unless you have a way of travelling through time as well as across realities?" he asked quietly. If it had been his Gordon asking, Virgil would have thought that he had been joking, but this Gordon seemed completely serious.
"No, I'm sorry," Virgil told him solemnly.
Gordon gave a shrug "Worth a shot," he said, his voice a little softer this time.
"What would you change if you could?" Virgil asked, taking advantage of the fact that Gordon was actually talking to him.
"Everything…"
"Does that include saving your brother?" However once the question was aired, Virgil saw the tension return to Gordon's body. "It's not your fault you know," he added.
"My Dad seems to think it is."
"I know Avery doesn't," Virgil told him, trying his best to reassure Gordon that he wasn't responsible for the death of his brother, no matter what Jeff may have said or done. But the way Gordon flinched at the mention of Avery's name told Virgil that the aquanaut wasn't convinced.
"Don't…"
"Avery told me what happened…how hard you tried to save him."
"Stop it!" Gordon yelled, his hands covering his ears as he closed his eyes tightly as if he was trying to block out Virgil's words; or the memories of what he was talking about.
"Gordon…"
"I said stop it. You don't know what you're talking about…you weren't there."
"But Avery…"
"She doesn't know either," Gordon retorted sharply.
"But she…"
"She doesn't know because I couldn't tell her the whole truth," he admitted.
"What truth. Gordon what are you talking about?"
"I left out part of what happened when I went to rescue Virgil…I never told anyone, especially Avery."
"What didn't you tell Gordon?" Virgil asked, his body tensing in anticipation of what the younger man was about to reveal.
"That he was still alive when I got to him."
