Sorry for the long delay. I know this time is actually hard for a lot of people out there and I really hope all of you are healthy. I am lucky enough to be still healthy and doing a job that is more important now than ever.

Due to my job I got barely free-time on my hands and I am very sorry for not answering to your messages and reviews. I have attached a note to my monitor and will take the time to respond appropriately to each of you, when time allows me to do that.

I want to remind you that I actually don't do the cases of the show in chronological order, this time I took the murder case and left out the whole drama around T.J, because in my story T.J happened a while ago.

Stay safe, stay healthy, stay at home.

The mistakes down there are as sure as hell on me ;)

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

I will start to work again on Monday. At first, I will only stay those hours when needed, as long as there isn't a case. Probably doing paperwork from home. I love Sophie more than my own life but I also love my job very much and I miss working with Jane and the rest of the team. I miss the morgue and the lab, I miss my own team.

Jane's POV

I know how Maura feels. It was somehow hard to start working again. I love my job, worked hard to become what I am. It doesn't help feeling irresponsible.

Sophie is well cared for and there is no reason to worry about her but we are responsible for another human being now and we are both not made for staying at home. The only good thing is that as long as people like we are outside there, there is hope for a better world to grow up into.

The first week of Maura being back at work had been rather slow for her and she only worked past lunch. After we had eaten together, she had been at home for the rest of the day. That changed this morning.

This morning reminded me of the morning after Lydia had left TJ on our doorstep. We were probably as tired as back then, just for a different reason.

I had read about it in some of the books Maura kept around and after I picked up on Maura's behavior I remembered. Lowering the frequency of breastfeeding reduces also the release of prolactin, which is responsible for lactation but also for restriction of egg-cell maturation. Maura would start to ovulate in a few days.

If you ask me, she has that super-sexy-irresistible-glow, she seems more beautiful than she already is on every other day. I am sure Maura could explain it to me in her mumbo-jumbo scientific language, saying that some hormones send out a message to mine, to ensure that our species doesn't cease.

Whatever it is our hormones talk about, who I am to deny my wife, my queen anything? She needs her first orgasm quickly but after that she has the stamina of an acid-junkie. Nights like this provide little to no sleep.

We were standing in the kitchen, Maura pulling me into a tender kiss when I handed her the cup of coffee. The simultaneous buzzing of our phones putting a halt to the gentle moment. Maura cupped my face in her left hand for a moment, looking up into my eyes before scooting her nose along mine.

While I tried to make sense of what I was reading Maura already tried my mother's phone. Voicemail. We weren't showered nor dressed, smelled like sex and didn't even get to take a sip of our coffee.

We changed in the car on the drive to the precinct and I nearly choked on my coughing when Maura soaked me in her perfume.

"What? You smell like me anyway."

"I wonder why is that?"

"Because we didn't show…"

I held up my hand. "Rhetorically, Maura. I know very well why I smell that way."

"Everybody else will too, especially your mother."

"Yeah, yeah. Just warn me next time so I can open up my window before you drown me in your million-dollar-smell."

Maura frowned. "Well. I remember my million-dollar-smell turn…"

"No. No. No. No, Maura." I took her hand in mine while slowing down at the red light. Leaning over I kissed her lips softly. "No bickering. I love you, Maura and I like your perfume, but I like it on you. Okay, I like it on me too, but only as a result of it sticking to me after having you in my arms."

I softly pecked her lips once again before driving off at the light changing to green.

Korsak had called to let me know that my mother was physically unharmed while backing out of our garage, that didn't mean that she was okay though. She was visibly shaken when we arrived at the café.

She had talked to the man seconds before he coughed up blood and the way my mother is, with her warm heart and some kind words for everyone did it really get to her, despise the fact that she had never seen the guy before.

Frost found a note with Korsak's name and number on it in the wallet of Phil Taylor.

There was a time, before I met Maura, I would have found it disturbing to watch someone pick through someone's stomach contents, smelling it. Maybe I should be disturbed that I am a willing participant these days, okay it stops with the smelling it, but it has become something normal to me to watch her do that.

You know that's something my time spend with Maura taught me. Her predecessor never was this involved, never seemed to care that much. I didn't appreciate the work of the Medical Examiner's Office that much. But back then the Medical Examiner's Office wasn't as efficient and helpful as it is now.

The tox screen disclosed high levels of warfarin in his blood. We had to declare the café to a crime scene and Susie found a can of rat poison on a kitchen counter.

Stanley was his lovely self and though he has known us for years accused us of every cliché against cops there is.

We made a lot of fun of him and of Korsak, too. I think Maura would have been the only one with potential to recognize Dana after not having seen her for forty years and how differently she looked today, but we didn't need Korsak to know that, what would be the fun of it?

Must have been hard, to learn that your wife couldn't wait for you while you tried to stay alive in a warzone thousands of miles away from home and took off with another one. I can understand that he tried to forget her. I would have been devastated.

Who would have thought, that the next time I would see my wife out of her clothes would be at work with a lab-tech in the room and likely another one hundred people in the hallway, in front of the walls made out of glass? Clearly not me!

When you are not allowed to do something that's the thing you want to do more than anything. It physically hurts to stay abstinent.

When Maura got pregnant, I also passed up on drinking beer. I am no alcoholic and I am far from being in danger to become one, but when you actually stop drinking alcohol you realize how often and easily you actually drink some.

Two or three beers on Friday nights at The Robber, a glass of wine on date-nights and Sunday family-dinners, a beer or two watching baseball, beer and some fine whiskey on poker-nights once a month.

It didn't hurt to pass up on alcohol, it got me thinking. Thinking that I wanted to be more observant of my intake of alcohol in the future.

What actually hurt physically was being abstinent of having sex with Maura. Don't get me wrong I never would have thought about doing something she was not ready for, but lying next to Maura for weeks, probably months, and not making love to her would test the resolve of a nun.

I actually had felt ashamed for it.

My beautiful wife had given birth to our beautiful daughter and here I was lying next to her like a hormone-driven frat boy.

Maura had laughed about it, when I had confessed to her, after we had made love for the first time after the baby.

"If you felt like a frat boy I have no idea what to call me. Every kiss and every touch of yours made me wish you would just take what you wanted." she had whispered into my ear.

It isn't prohibited, illegal, not even taboo to wrap my arms around Maura at work, to kiss her. There is just a time for that and somehow it wasn't then.

At first Maura had been extremely busy to determine which danger we had been exposed to, then there was the fact that we had been naked in a room, together with one of Maura's techs. There was the fact that we were naked, at all. Maura's glance had summed up her state of arousal. If we hadn't been at work we sure as hell would have landed on any kind of surface.

I always thought it would get old sometimes. That's what you learn, when you look at other couples. Marriage does a strange thing to people's relationships. To me it often seems like they slip into some kind of safe zone. Like "hey, we are married now and now I can start to live my own life like before but you can't leave me because we are married".

There are a lot of things we still do separately. We don't share that many interests, we are too differently for that. The difference between now and before is that even though I enjoy those things I still miss Maura and I know she does too.

I know Maura would never have texted someone while sitting in a lecture or a meeting, not even while shopping. Her cell phone would have been turned off. I know I wouldn't have texted someone while watching a live game, I wouldn't have had time to take my eyes off the field and even more important, I wouldn't have even felt bad for it.

Even after being married for a while now my thoughts always drift to Maura after a few minutes and now to Sophie too. The only time I really am able to concentrate is when actively working a case and even then, my thoughts tend to stray when sitting at my desk trying to tie up loose ends.

It often helps me to clear up my mind or to see something more clearly, like today when I remembered the things Maura smelled in Phil's stomach contents. It brought us to the place where his coffee had been spiked. Often, solving a case is like solving a difficult puzzle, each tiny piece makes the picture more visibly until you know what you are looking at. On their own each piece is nearly irrelevant, trivial but united they reveal the truth.

I don't understand human abysses. I can say wholeheartedly that I would kill anyone without remorse who would physically harm my family. That's a reason I can understand, a reason I can relate with. I would still go to jail, rightfully. What I can't understand are the other reasons for people to kill each other.

Adultery. I would be devastated, but I wouldn't kill Maura. There has to be a reason, either I have failed to make and keep her happy or she fell in love with someone else. Non of it is a reason to kill her.

Envy. Hate. Cupidity. Resentment. Or just lust to kill. I don't get it. Sometimes it makes me sick to stare down into human abysses, dark and rotten souls. It makes me sick how evidentially valueless a life seems to be to a lot of people.

Since Maura got pregnant I often ask myself if it wasn't some kind of egoism to bring an innocent child into this world. I try to live my life and do the best I can to make this world a better place, to do what's in my capabilities. I know Jane Rizzoli can't change the world and I try not to think about the little to no difference I make, but sometimes it just overwhelms me.

Sometimes it really pulls me down when there is a moment I recognize all the evil things humans are able to do.

Like a greedy lawyer using the desperation of people for his own benefits, blackmailing and killing people just to make some profit.

Sometimes we forget how privileged we are. Looking around the table I am incredible moved by the happy faces and laughter of our family, related or not. I take Maura's hand in mine and a small knowingly smile graces her lips.

I had this scary picture of my future in head. A spouse, kids, a predictable routine. Not something I had been looking forward to. Tonight, this prediction isn't scaring me in the slightest.

Tonight, when our family is gone, we are going to bathe our baby and I will bring her to bed, reading a story, kissing her goodnight and when I return to our room Maura will be waiting for me.

Maura had told me, while being pregnant. One night she had shared her little fantasy with me. After I had finished with me getting ready for bed I had stepped behind Maura in front of the sink, wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck.

"I had a fantasy about us, like this." Maura turned slowly, capturing my lower lip between her own.

"After you dropped me off on Christmas Eve. I stood in front of the mirror, wiping off my makeup. I thought how nice it would be if you would stand behind me, holding me close and kissing my neck. Trying to distract me. I would have given anything for you picking me up and carrying me to bed that night."

She wrapped her legs around me when I sat her down on the sink.

"I fantasized about how much more beautiful this day could have become if I only had just the courage to kiss you in your car. I felt so happy, for your family including me. I thought it would have been so perfect. That day I wished you would have accompanied me to my door and I would have held you back when you were about to leave and just kiss you and it would have been like it has always been that way, we would have been getting ready for bed and then it would turn from a comfortable domesticity to where we wouldn't be able to hold off any longer. I cried that night in bed, for something lost I never had in the first place."

"You know I can't turn back the hands of time, but I would, in a heartbeat. One thing I can do is promising you that you never have to feel that way ever again. I don't want you to miss anything, please tell me whatever you need, whenever."

Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome like always :)

I am still looking for a name for the revised version of this story, maybe some of you have some ideas.