Chapter 54: Festivity

A/N: The MOST sloppy fluffy disgustingly cutsie chapter I might have ever written, I nearly threw up. This should have been longer but I really had nowhere to go with it if I'm honest. And yes, it does bear parallels to one of the many Christmases in I Hate You I Love You, oops x x x


Carla

I wake to the sound of faint Christmas music and a very cold bed, moving to cuddle closer to Michelle, before realising the bed was empty.

Sitting bolt upright, my heart begins to pound dangerously. "Michelle?" I shout, shooting out of bed and throwing a dressing gown on.

I only settle when I open the bedroom door to see her at the stove, hair up in a messy bun, wrapped up in her own dressing gown. Sighing with relief, I creep over, wrapping my arms around her from behind and making her jump slightly. "Oop!"

"Merry Christmas." I whisper in her ear, glad to be warmed up by being close to her again. "You scared me then."

"Why?" She laughs softly, spinning around to wrap her arms around my neck.

"Didn't know where you were." I shrug, peering over to look at what the breakfast she is cooking. "Ooh, is this for me?"

"Mm. Merry Christmas." She kisses me, grazing a thumb down my cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine yeah." I admit, sitting back on the kitchen stool, hand falling to my tummy. "They're behaving themselves so far."

"Well good..." She smiles excitedly, running over to the Christmas tree like a little kid and returning with a small present. "I've been so excited to give you this."

"Wow, no pressure." I take it from her, watching the way her eyes glimmer. "You hated Christmas one year."

"No I never!" She exclaims, before pausing in thought. "When?"

"The year it was just us two." I prompt her, trying to trace my memory back to give her more clues. "At my old flat. After... Frank."

Her nose screws up at the mention of his name. "Well I had just been dumped for the Bahamas by Ciaran." She reminds me glumly. "Besides, it wasn't 'just us two'. You spent most of the afternoon sneaking off to see Peter."

"Ooh, were you jealous?" I flash her a grin, beginning to carefully unwrap the present she was so desperate for me to open. Jewellery. I already knew before I pulled the wrapping off. I had opened it enough times. Flicking the lid on the box, I stare down at a beautiful silver locket, a rose engraved on the front of it. "...Chelle that's beautiful."

"Open it." She says softly and I look up at her for a moment, before following her instructions, opening it up to see two photos fastened inside. On one side, was a black and white photo of Michelle and I kissing at the altar, on the other was the sonogram of our babies. She really did try to go above and beyond.

"Michelle." Tears spring to my eyes as I emit her name as a whisper, tracing my finger carefully over the intricate design.

"...It's our family." She smiles, placing a finger under my chin and tilting my head upwards. "I mean, don't show Ryan. He'll be fuming he's not in there." She adds and I let out a soft giggle, a tear rolling down my cheek. "I just wanted to show you how much I value you. Everything you're doing for us... Everything you've done for me. I wake up feeling special everyday because of you and I go to bed feeling loved. And I know you're going to be the best mum because you'll make those two feel the same way. And... I understand how scary it is. Please never think I don't appreciate you and everything your body is doing. Because you're the most important person. The most important." She stops to take a breath and I wipe a tear from my cheek. "It's been a hard year. And I've been to some really dark places but the fact that you've always been there for me on the other side... Despite everything. You've stayed up with me, you've held me, you've reassured me. Nobody's ever made me feel this way, Carla. I thought that I would never find somebody who wouldn't break my heart. Turns out, they've been here all along... I just want you to know that I wouldn't have made it through this year without you."

"I wouldn't have made it without you." I enforce, and I meant every word. "If you hadn't have been by my side I wouldn't have told my family about my illness. And if you hadn't jumped that bullet for me, I'd be..." I hesitate, noticing the flicker of pain in her eyes. "So I don't know why you're preaching all this to me, lady. Because I would go to the moon and back for you. Whatever that takes. And I know from this year that you would do the same. And that's something really special." I reach for her hand, linking our fingers. "You know, it's funny... That night I told you I had feelings for you. Who I came back here for. I was expecting you to be freaked out. To tell me that you loved me as a friend but nothing more... I never thought it would lead to this. But I'm so glad it did."

"Well I'm so glad you told me." She smiles warmly, noticing her eyes glaze over slightly. "Because I kinda like you a lot."

"Yeah." I laugh through tears, allowing her to brush them from my cheeks as I dip my head again. "And this... Is so beautiful, Chelle. It's the most thoughtful gift I've ever received."

"So... I beat Peter then?" She bites her lip, watching how I subtly roll my eyes.

"You beat Peter a long time ago." I reassure her, sliding my fingers under the delicate pendant and pulling it from the box. "Will you put it on for me?"

"Cheesy." She blushes slightly, but takes it from me all the same, moving my hair to one side and fastening it around my neck. I feel the brush of her fingernails against my skin, sighing contently when she plants a kiss to my neck, continuing them down my shoulders. "You're beautiful."

"Mm." I spin the chair around to face her, pulling her head down to meet my lips. "Have we got time before breakfast is ready?"

"Oh yeah." She dismisses it, pulling on my dressing gown and leading me into the bedroom.


Michelle

"Ah, I love it." I press a kiss to her forehead, folding the expensive looking blouse carefully and laying it next to me. "No man would ever have such an eye for gifts."

"Well I'm certainly not a man." She nudges me, finishing off her breakfast and crawling into my lap on the sofa, laying her head against my chest. "That everything?"

"Almost." I tap her lightly, prompting her to sit up and she pulls a face at the motion, having just got comfortable. "This is for you." I take an envelope out of the tree, sealed with gold ribbon, kneeling down and handing it over.

"Well, I'm being spoilt." She just comments, unravelling the ribbon and peering inside the envelope, a confused expression creasing her face. "...Fifty percent of The Bistro?"

"Mm..." I nod, watching her head tilt upwards, gazing at me. "Well, you're the love of my life... I want you to be a part of everything."

"Chelle, I-" she begins and I raise a finger to her lips.

"No, no." I hum, leaning closer to her. "Listen, this next year is going to be the best one of our lives. We've got two businesses... Two babies... A gorgeous flat, we're more than financially stable. We've got great friends and family who love us. And most importantly we've got each other. And I just sat staring at the fire yesterday and I thought... I can go to some really dark places. But why? When I've got all that? For the first time I don't feel like I've missed an opportunity or that the past is catching up with me. I feel like this is the start of everything. I'm so excited to just put all the stress and trauma behind me and focus on you, these two, our family, our friends, our businesses... That's all I want, and I'm so ready for that. And I'm so lucky to be spending it with you. So lucky. My best friend."

"Making me cry on Christmas Day?" She raises an eyebrow, brushing a tear from her cheek. "Twice. Should be illegal that."

"Sorry." I laugh gently, moving in the kiss her and slipping my hands through her hair.

"Promise me something?" She pulls back, studying me with love and I just give a small nod. "Never say that word to me again."


Carla

The morning was crisp, the skies were clear, the cobbles were sugarcoated in a light snow from the night before. I link my arm with Michelle's, hearing the distant sounds of children laughing, having snowball fights in the street. "Merry Christmas, Roy." I greet once my eyes fall to where he is standing, ready and waiting outside the cafe, bag traditionally in hand.

"Ah, yes. Merry Christmas." He notes us, subtly checking his watch.

"Sorry we're late."

"Well I presumed the circumstance would be likely." He utters, although polite and I lean in to kiss his cheek quickly. "Have you had an enjoyable morning?"

"It's been very enjoyable." I nod, grinning to myself slightly as I feel Michelle tighten her arm in mine.

"Will we be the first at The Bistro?" Roy questions as we walk. "Now that you are the formal owner, Michelle?"

"Oh, we both are now." She tells him, flashing me a smile. "Fifty, fifty."

"Yeah but we're just gonna go straight to The Rovers." I inform him. "We just thought, we haven't been in the restaurant since... We don't know what state it's in. We're going to save sorting that for tomorrow."

"And you are positive that I won't be interrupting your family-"

"No, Roy." I cut him off. "You won't be interrupting anything."

The pub was bustling as soon as we're hit with the familiar smells of beer and hotpot. It was a wonder that Liz was managing to handle the bar on her own. "Merry Christmas, Liz." Michelle greets, wading her way through the pub with the stack of bags she had insisted carrying so I didn't have to. "Alright if we go through?"

"If you can hold your breath." Liz comments, looking rather put out that she was working, despite her festive attire. "There's no room to breathe in there."

"Maybe we should have gone to the Bistro." She bites her lip, glancing at me worriedly and I just shuffle her forwards, moving through to the back room with Roy in tow. "...Uh, wow..." The comment is dropped as soon as our eyes fall upon the packed back room. Jenny was fussing, Johnny was pouring glasses of mulled wine. Rita was sat at the table with a sherry in her hand, joined by Gemma. Kate and Rana were curled up on the sofa, laughing at something on Rana's phone. Ali was ushered up against the wall, flicking through Jenny's array of old-time CD's, and Ryan looked like he was already on his third can of beer. "...Happy Christmas."

"Ah! Merry Christmas." Everyone choruses in turn, looking up at our appearance.

"Quick, somebody get Carla a chair." Jenny starts, moving one of the dining chairs about five inches towards me and placing it down again. "Take a seat, Carla."

"...Ok." I just mutter, already feeling like an invalid, furrowing a brow at how she was fussing over me before I can even get through the door.

"Carla, I've got some delicious non-alcoholic grape juice." She offers me and I shoot Michelle an amused smirk. "Can I get you a glass?"

"...As opposed to alcoholic grape juice?" Michelle butts in, causing Jenny to nod deliriously. "So, wine?"

Realising she was being made fun of, Jenny shoots her a glare, going off to the kitchen to prepare my apparent drinks order with a matter of urgency. Flicking a lock of my lightly curled hair back, I glance around the room. This was going to be chaos. My shoulders are soothed by the sensation of Michelle's hands, gently massaging them once she had managed to greet everybody in turn. "Roy, take a seat love." She offers him, noting where he is stood idly, bag glued to his hand.

"Do you think I should have invited Maria and Liam?" Johnny asks, coming back into the room and handing my wife a glass of wine.

"...Johnny, if you have anymore people in here you'll get a lawsuit." I point out.

"Oh, that reminds me. Imran is on his way." Rana holds her phone up and my brows fly to my hairline, resisting the urge to fall forwards into my hands. "He's just sorting some business."

"On Christmas Day?" Jenny sings, clearly already a bit tipsy as she hands my glass over.

"Mum, which is my present?" Ryan is rifling through our bags now, searching for the label with his name on. Ali rolls his eyes exasperatedly.

"Uh, the small one." Michelle informs him and I notice his face screw up in disappointment. "Roy would you like a drink?" She takes the liberty of serving him, since both Johnny and Jenny had not acknowledged his existence. Luckily, he was engaging himself in a conversation with Rita about this Christmas tree documentary he was still intent on watching later today.

"Uh, just an orange juice will be suffice." He nods politely and she heads through to the bar, deciding to avoid the stress of the kitchen.

"Look what Bethany got me." Ryan points to his t-shirt excitedly, a slogan stating 'I'm not always rude and sarcastic, sometimes I'm asleep' printed across it.

"Lovely." I nod. "Although I wouldn't say you're smart enough to be sarcastic." I add and his brow furrows in confusion. "What did you get her?"

"A tiara." He reveals proudly and my nose scrunches up. "What? What's wrong with that?"

"A tiara?" I repeat. "Out of a cracker, was it?"

"No!" He argues defensively, taking a sip of his beer before admitting, "I got it from the Wilko's at the precinct."

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" Mary's voice echoes as she runs into the room, traditional blue anorak secured around her shoulders. I glance at Johnny, surely he hadn't invited her and all.

Michelle appears, handing Roy his drink with a look of distaste on her face. "Uh, I did say she shouldn't just come waltzing in-"

"I'm so sorry to impose." Mary interrupts her, ironically speaking politely as usual. "I just wondered if you could spare a little drop of brandy. For my tiny, single-serving of Christmas pudding." She witters on and I refrain from groaning, willing for Michelle to come and wrap her arms around my neck again. "I might be all by myself on Christmas Day, but there's no need to let standard's slide."

"Angie and George gone away?" Rita pipes up, her expression humoured at how Mary was trying to wrangle her way into our Christmas.

"Yes. To see her family." She responds. "And Dev and the children have also abandoned me, so the house is terribly quiet without them... Terribly, terribly quiet... It's just me and the clock. Tick. Tick. Tick..."

I exchange a look with Michelle, Kate smirking to herself as Johnny breaks out into a welcoming smile. "Why don't you join us?"

"Well I couldn't impose." Mary has the response readily planned, knowing her manipulation would pay off.

Jenny is first to pipe up, less enthused at the idea. "Yeah, I totally understand if you-"

"But if you're absolutely sure mine's a vodka tonic." She grins, cutting off Jenny's attempts to rid her and immediately setting her sights on the space on the sofa, causing Kate to grimace at how she is forced to shuffle up. "Not feeling too rough today then Jenny? You were the life of the party last night."

"That could be debated." Michelle just mutters, finally managing to locate a chair and take a seat next to me. I reach for her hand under the table, giving it a supportive squeeze, as Jenny just dims her gaze. It was apparent her and Johnny had words following her drunken stunt at the quiz last night, but had laid things aside for the sake of a 'happy family Christmas'. "Ryan, hand those presents round."

"...Ugh." He groans, checking the bag again after opening his video game and aftershave. "Now you two are shacked up does this mean we only get one present from both of you?"

"Uh! It was expensive stuff that." Michelle scalds him, Ali tutting slightly at Ryan's rudeness, as he raises his own aftershave to us in appreciation. "That was the game you were after, isn't it?"

"Ryan, be a good boy and I'll slip you a tenner later." I wink at him and he smirks victoriously. "Like old days, ey?"

"You're too soft." Michelle whispers, nudging me, and I just return the usual excuse of "hormones".

"Oh these earrings are gorgeous!" Kate yelps from the sofa, as Rana opens her own. "Bet these cost a few bob. Hey, we could wear them on our wedding day."

"Well they are something blue." Rana points to the sapphires secured in Kate's pair and they share a kiss briefly.

"Ah, it's so lovely to see two young people in love." Mary sings, turning to me. "Isn't it lovely, Carla?" I know she doesn't mean it intentionally, but I scowl at her all the same. "I heard the news from Norris. Congratulations to both of you."

"Thank you." I plaster an appreciative smile on my face, blushing slightly as Michelle presses a kiss to my temple. "Yeah we're really excited about-"

"A toaster?" Jenny cuts over us, screwing her face up in disappointment. "...Don't I get any earrings?"

"Hey, it's top of the range that." Michelle tells her, as she scans the box. "Now you won't have them breaking every five minutes, and you won't have to tell us about it."

"Jenny, there's another one in there for you, love." I prompt and her eyes light up, reaching for the other gift with her name on and tearing it open.

"Ooh!" She flicks open the lid of the box, casting her eyes over the pearl necklace I had purchased. Michelle taps me on the shoulder, and I realise I forgot to notify her of the additional gift. "That is beautiful. Hey, I'll get you another grape juice." She jumps up, practically skipping to the kitchen and I finally address Michelle's expression.

"Well, she doesn't mean any harm." I shrug, lowering my voice. "She's part of the family now, and hey, without her, maybe Johnny wouldn't have made it through this year."

"It's sweet." She smiles, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear and I'm lost in her eyes for a moment, desperate to kiss her but not wanting another comment from Mary about how pensioners can fall in love too. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah I'm just starving."

"Oh that reminds me, who's cooking dinner?" Michelle addresses the room, Johnny raising his hand vaguely. "Well what time is it going to be? Only I said I'd pop across to Maria's to give Liam his present."

"Dunno... Don't expect fireworks." Johnny just mutters, popping back into the kitchen to check on the pending disaster.

"Hey, we should've got Robert over to cook." Jenny says in passing, completely forgetting the recent events for a moment. She freezes up when she senses the silence in the room, everyone shifting their gaze to look at my wife sympathetically. "Oh... I... Sorry, Michelle. I forgot. Oh, silly me."

"Why are you apologising to me?" Michelle shrugs, taking a long gulp of her wine to pretend she hadn't been at all affected by the slip of the tongue. "I had nothing to do with him."

"...Well uh... Are you hungry Carla?" Jenny averts her attention to me again, desperate to move past the sunken atmosphere. "Can I get you anything? Perhaps some pickles?"

"...No, Jenny." I assure her, bluntly, noticing how she went straight for the pregnant woman cliche cravings. "I've gone off pickles anyway. Don't bring them near me. That or tuna."

"Well, good job we're not having Niçoise salad for dinner then." Jenny let's out a bark of laughter and I just shift my eyes to Kate, my stomach churning uncomfortably at the thought.

"Jenny, why don't you just sit down and have a drink, love?" Rita offers, holding out a glass and eventually, she resides.

"...Don't think she needs much persuasion there." Michelle comments quietly and I give her a soft shove.

"Oi." I whisper and she just rolls her eyes sourly, before slinging an arm around my shoulders.


Michelle

"Hey, you." I wrap my coat around me tighter as I brace the cold of the smoking shelter, finally discovering where Carla had been hiding away for the last fifteen minutes. "Wondered where you got to."

"I just needed to breathe for a moment." She forces a smile, exhaustion written into her face. "I love them, I do. It can all just get a bit too much."

"Tell me about it." I take a seat next to her, staring out at the crumbling brick work. The wooden tables that it had once been my job to scrub. This is where Steve has proposed to me once. Where we had our first conversation the day I found out I was pregnant with Ruairi. Where Will gifted me a cupcake on my birthday, laced with seduction and lies. I shiver at the thought, reaching for Carla's hand. "Are you thinking about this time last year, or this time next year?"

"Does it have to be either?" She gives a slight laugh, although I knew I was right. Today was bound to trigger memories of those we had lost, as well as those we were about to gain. "Well, whatever happens, two screaming babies surely can't be more chaotic than what's going on in there." She indicates to the pub and I smile down at our intertwined hands. "Oh God... What if we have to do it all again next year? Babies included?"

"We won't." I reassure her, or more-so myself. "We know why we're here this year. We need to pull together, support one another. Next year it won't be so hard..." Pushing a lock of hair behind her ear, I can gaze at her face more clearly, leaning in to plant a kiss on her cold cheek. "You're freezing."

"Mm, well I was too hot in there." She just mumbles, staring down into her lap and I remove the scarf from around my neck, wrapping it around hers, prompting her to finally smile at me appreciatively. "Ahh, aren't you a gent?"

"Shut up." I nudge her playfully, studying the curiosity and unknowing glistening behind her eyes. "Hey, we could go away next year."

"With two kids under the age of one?" She pulls a face. "I hardly think it would be a sensible idea to jet off to Dubai."

"Not Dubai." I laugh, rolling my eyes at her assumption. "Somewhere down on the coast, you know? Portsmouth? Devon?"

"Ugh." She wrinkles her nose at the mention, cogs almost visible in her brain as she thinks over her memories past.

"Right, ok, nowhere that reminds you of any exes, let me think." I grin and I notice her throw a scowl in my direction. "Cornwall?"

"Never been."

"You've never been to Cornwall?" My eyes widen and she turns to look at me, noting the surprise in my expression. "Oh it's beautiful. We could get a cottage for a week. You, me and the kids. Walks on the beach on Christmas Day..." I stop, seeing the slight smile tugging at her lips. "What?"

"You, me and the kids." She repeats, love laced into her tone as her smile grows wider. "It's just so... Domestic... Look what you've done to me."

"Well that's what it's gonna be." I bite my lip slightly at the thought. "You want it really. You want it so bad. You don't mind being this soft."

"Ok." She nods, musing with me. "Next year you can take us all to Cornwall then. Show us what we've been missing." Her eyes dart down to my lips. "Now give me a kiss."


Carla

"It'll be lonely this Christmas, lonely and cold..." Mary drones on, the nauseating ring in my ears distracting me from the conversation I was trying to have with Maria. "It'll be cold, cold, cold, without you to hold."

"Liam said thank you for his Gravitrax... Thingy." Maria shrugs, unbothered at the fact she didn't delve into the knowledge of whatever it was. "I tried to get him to come but he's watching Cars 2 with Kirk."

"Oh, no problem." I dismiss it. "It's Michelle you should thank. I wouldn't know where to start with toys."

"Well, you'll know sooner or later." Maria indicates to the hand on my tummy and I just wince at the thought, opening my mouth to gather her own advice on the matter, before Mary's shrill tone cuts through my thoughts like a blade once more.

"Each time I remember, the-"

"Mary please! I'm losing the will to live here!" I snap suddenly, hormones getting the better of me.

"Sing summat happy!" Gemma shouts, mouth full of mince pie from the bar. I only hold my gaze on Mary long enough for her to sigh reluctantly, glancing at the karaoke book again, before turning back to Maria.

"I was going to ask, actually." I begin again. "I mean, luckily I've got Michelle to guide me through all of this but it's always fun to get another opinion. How did you cope with-"

Mary's voice blasts out again, even more melancholic and loathsome than last time. "Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me-"

"No! Mary!" I shout again, spinning around with such force that my hair nearly whips Roy in the face, who hadn't removed his coat for the duration of the day.

"No hope, no-"

"No!" Gemma backs me up, cutting her off abruptly. Mary sighs, throwing her arms down at her sides and pausing in contemplation, giving me a second to notice where Michelle was emerging from the toilets.

"Alright?" She squeezes my shoulder gently, flashing me a warm smile.

"Yeah apart from my splitting headache." I mutter grumpily. I wasn't all too full of Christmas spirit, but who could blame me? My feet were swollen, the turkey had made me even more bloated than usual and I'd had to resist the urge to have a drink all day. "Can't you get up there and take over?"

"Oh yeah Michelle, go and sing something!" Maria's eyes light up suddenly and I notice her shoot me a subtle glare at the fact I had broached the topic.

"Well I haven't-"

"Please, baby." I beg her, as Mary begins to sing a very off-key version of When A Child Is Born. "You said you'd do anything for me. Well this is it."

"Ugh..." Michelle groans, rolling her eyes at my persuasion, heading towards the stage and taking the mic from Mary, much to her disappointment and my bemusement.

"Yeah! Michelle!" Jenny claps from where she is drunk at the bar, my wife blushing slightly at the sudden audience that had turned their attention to her.

"Go on mum!" Ryan starts clapping loudly, much to her dismay as everyone joins in and she dims her gaze at me, clearly annoyed that I had pushed her to entertaining everyone. I give her a thumbs up supportively, feeling nostalgic as if we were back in the rough, back-street boozer that she had her first gig in at age fifteen. I had begged and begged Darren on the bar to give her a shot when they had finally shelled out for a cheap microphone and amp. By the end of the night, she had earned fourth quid in tips. I remember being so proud, just like I was now.

"Right. Thanks Carla for making me do this." Michelle just mutters into the microphone and I arch an eyebrow at her unprofessionalism. "What do you all want?"

"All I Want For Christmas Is You!" Steve shouts, clearly tipsy and lolling against Tracy's shoulder.

"Missed your chance there mate." Ryan just shoots back at him, causing a rumble of laughter to sound from the pub.

"Yeah! Sing that!" Gemma yells, halfway through her third mince pie and Michelle's face creases in anxiety, sighing before putting it on the karaoke. I shoot her a supportive smile as the tinkly intro starts to play, biting my lip as she begins to belt out the solo, note perfect as expected.

"I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know." She tries not to glance across at me, afraid of knocking me sick. "Make my wish come true..." I feel a rough shake of my shoulders, turning to notice how Ryan had practically jumped on me, pointing a finger in my face. "All I want for Christmas... Is..." She rolls her eyes at how Ryan was forcing her to stare at me. "...You."

"YEAH!" He screams, the room applauding as the beat kicks in.

"Yes 'Chelle!" Johnny appears from the back at the sound of her voice, a wide grin spread across his face as he wraps his arms around Jenny.

It's a happy moment. Everyone smiling, laughing, dancing. All the hurt and grief and fear of this year washing away for five minutes. There wasn't one person in this room who hadn't suffered at some point this year. It had been exhaustive. But here we were, supporting one another. Friends, family, exes, enemies. Just for one day. Because we knew that despite all the history we had with one another, love was stronger than hate. And we were a community. We were a family on this street. My gaze shift to where Ali is kissing Sarah, clearly after having one two many glasses of wine. Rita was merrily sipping a whiskey at the bar with Ken, reminiscing over the Christmases past in this very pub. Johnny wasn't biting Jenny's head off for drinking too much. Tracy was dancing in a circle with Steve and Amy. Daniel has his arm around Sinead in a booth, staring at each other lovingly, holding out hope for her health in the year to come. Even Mary had cheered up now Gemma had offered her a mince pie.

Noticing how Roy was standing looking rather lost, I wrap an arm around his shoulder, pecking him on the cheek quickly. I really did value him. His kindness, his generosity, his unconditional love. I knew I wouldn't have made it this far without him. He had been one of the people to save me, yet he never even had to. He could have turned his back long ago, decided never to associate with me. But he hadn't. I knew if there was ever a heaven, Hayley would be smiling down, watching proudly at how he had carried on, spreading his charity with those around him.

Then my head shifts back to Michelle, finally indulged in the song, a glint in her eye as she melodically releases the lyrics. Her eyes move to mine, smiling softly as I place a hand on my bump, both equally grateful for what we realise we had in the moment.

It had been a rollercoaster ride. And I knew that it wasn't about to stop here. But I sure as hell had more reason to ride it than I ever had before. And I was so ready to see where it took us.