Hodor carried Stewie in his arms, with Dipper and Mabel following. One minute, they were just walking along through the snow, the next they were surrounded! The mutineers appeared out of the trees and fanned out around them in a circle.

"I say, who are you?" Stewie demanded. "You don't look much like wildlings."

"These must be the guys we heard about, the ones that killed Lord Mormont!" said Dipper.

Bertram smiled. "How perceptive of you."

Stewie stared at Bertram. "You… you look just like me!"

"There's a reason for that," said Bertram. "My name's Bertram. I'm your brother!"

"I have no brother but Chris, and he's dead," Stewie said coldly.

"Well, half-brother," Bertram amended. "Around the time you were born, your father, Peter Griffin, decided to get a vasectomy so he couldn't have any more kids. But he also decided to put some of his sperm in a sperm bank in case he changed his mind. Well, he knocked over a whole shelf of jars and had to refill them with his own sperm. The end result: I was born."

"So, this whole time, I've had a brother I didn't know about," Stewie mused.

"Yes, but soon I'll be an only child! You're the last male Griffin, Stewie. I'm going to kill you, and then Winterfell will be mine!"

"You can't inherit Winterfell!" Stewie sputtered. "You were a member of the Night's Watch, and now you're a traitor to the Night's Watch! If you try to return to Westeros you'll be killed on sight."

"I don't think so." Bertram gestured at the other mutineers. "Not if I have my friends with me. I'm pretty sure there's enough of us to take Winterfell by force."

"You'll never be able to fight the Boltons, or whoever holds it now," said Mabel.

"What do you care?" said Scott. "You won't be alive to see it. None of you will!"

"But before we kill you, we're going to have a little fun with you," said Trent. He leered at Stewie. "Have you ever had a Texas Chili Bowl?"

"No, what's that?" said Stewie.

"I'll give you a hint. It involves a telephone, a bottle of Tabasco sauce, and your ass!"

"Sounds kinky," said Stewie. "Unfortunately, I shan't be able to take you up on your offer. I have a pressing engagement with a three eyed raven."

Scott was tired of talking. He gave a yell and charged at Hodor with a knife. But Stewie warged into Hodor just before Scott reached him. Stewie had Hodor swing one of his enormous arms and knock Scott to the ground, and Scott was knocked out and he fell on a rock and his skull cracked! So Scott Tenorman was slain.

Stewie made Hodor set him down on the ground, then pick up Scott's knife. The other mutineers ran at Hodor, but Stewie made Hodor fight and kill them all, except for Bertram, who ran away.

When it was all over, Stewie returned to his own body. He and Hodor were both panting from exhaustion.

"Are you guys all right?" he asked Dipper and Mabel once he regained his breath.

"Yeah," said Mabel. "Hodor saved us all."

"It wasn't Hodor," said Stewie. "It was me. I warged him just like I did Brian. Speaking of Brian, I guess we just did him a favor. We saved him from having to deal with these guys."

Dipper looked around at the pile of corpses. "I don't see Bertram anywhere. He must still be out there."

"Well, he can't do much on his own," said Stewie. "I'm not too worried about him. Let's get out of here before his friends all turn into wights."