A/N: A big thanks to SirenBanshee. You are one amazing beta!

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The next morning, instead of sparring, Kylo trained Rey in the Force. She was ahead in some regards but behind in others compared to the Knights. He wanted her to be confident before she started training with them. And he wanted to be sure he could trust the Knights not to bully her. He didn't truly think they would, if only out of respect to him, but still.

She joined him at his office after breakfast to listen to the most important reports. Again, Ember was there to speak on Hux's behalf. He had wanted to come himself and had been annoyed when Ember told him he was not allowed to. She warned that he would become suspicious fast if this kept up.

That being said, she reported that four Base Knights had been given a full-body scan and all four of them had indeed a chip implanted at the base of their skull.

"There are no anomalies anywhere else," she said. "Only the chip in their brain."

"That's one big anomaly," Phasma commented.

"It is," Rey agreed.

"Derek, any luck with getting into the mainframe of Base Z?"

"No, sir," he answered. "There seem to be extra layers of protection against interference from outside. From what I gather, your codes would gain you access if you tried from within the Base, but not through remote access. I am an administrator, sir, not a hacker. I am unsure how to deal with this."

"So we need a hacker," Kylo answered.

"Or someone needs to go back to that Base," Ember said, her emotionless tone conveying her reluctance better than any intonation ever could.

"Is anyone in our current staff able to hack this?" Kylo asked.

"I doubt it, sir. Given the Base, the security would be high-level," Derek answered.

"The information they would be retrieving is extremely sensitive," Phasma added. "Allowing an outsider access to it might not be wise."

"Those Base Knights," Derek hesitantly started. "They obey you fully? And have little to no emotion due to the chip?"

"Yes," Kylo agreed, equally hesitant.

"You would send one of them back," Rey guessed.

"It's failsafe," Derek said, voice perfectly neutral.

"I believe Hux would do the same," Ember murmured.

"I do not take kindly to being compared to Armitage Hux."

Even though Kylo was aware of Derek's lack of regard towards Hux, he was still surprised at the vehemence in Derek's voice. Given the looks the others were throwing Derek, he wasn't the only one.

"He's not a bad man," Ember jumped to defend.

"He tried to bribe me."

It was said with such revulsion that even Ember seemed at a loss for words. Kylo decided to step in.

"I don't like sending anybody back there."

"They did seem...without emotion," Phasma offered.

"Aren't you trying to change that?" Rey protested.

"Yes," Phasma agreed. "But we can't without that information."

"A sacrifice in order to heal," Ember mused.

"Why don't I go?" Rey offered.

"No!" Kylo immediately denied. "I don't want you anywhere near that place."

"But sending a Base Knight back is okay? At least I don't have any memories tied to it."

"Neither do they."

"We don't know that. They might remember after the chip is removed. That one might remember being sent back."

"They would understand," Ember interjected.

"Would you?" Rey countered.

"If it was an order given, I would."

That had both Kylo and Rey blinking at her in surprise.

"I'm just not going to volunteer," Ember dryly added.

Silence reigned before Kylo huffed a laugh. "I'm not expecting you to," he said.

"We could send a few Guards," Phasma eventually said. "If your codes are sufficient to access the system once they're there, there's no reason they would not be able to succeed."

"But they would have the Supreme Leader's codes," Derek said.

"So would anybody else we send there. Unless you are volunteering to go?" Phasma countered.

"Uhm."

"Nobody is expecting you to go on a field trip, Derek," Kylo said, seeing the man's panicked expression. "We send a few of the Guard," he decided. "This needs to be organised well so everything runs smoothly. Derek, make sure they have nothing more to do than access the mainframe. The data transfer should start automatically. Phasma, make sure they don't arrive there at the same time as the Resistance does. Don't let them know when we're going though. There's no knowing what the Little One will plan if they have an exact date."

"Certainly, sir," Derek agreed.

Phasma merely placed her fist against her heart, bowing her head a little. Rey, on the other hand, was glaring at Kylo.

"Why won't you let me go?" she demanded.

"I don't want you near that place."

"It's only a building now," she protested. "What damage can it do?"

"Even so, it's a vile place. I don't want you there. We also didn't exactly clean up after ourselves."

"What does that even mean?"

"People were killed there, Rey."

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh."

"What did he say?" Ember loudly demanded.

"That place is going to reek," Rey deadpanned, her nose scrunched up in disgust.

Silence.

"It is, isn't it?" Ember said.

"I'll make sure the Guards have fresh filters," Phasma commented.

Kylo burst out laughing.

"I'm not weak. I could do it," Rey insisted even as she joined his laughter.

"I know."

"I want to help."

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "You already are, and you will even more so in the future. I won't force you to sit idle." He turned his attention back to the people in front of him. "Anything else?"

"The others should have written preliminary reports about the trainees," Ember said.

"I have them here," Derek agreed.

"Then, no, I have nothing more to say."

"Neither have I," Phasma said.

Rey dashed forward. "Show me that form again?" she asked Phasma.

"There's training ongoing in both the hall and the outside field right now," Phasma answered.

"The outside one should be free in half an hour," Ember said. "They've decided to start earlier with the trainees today."

"Then I could show you in half an hour."

"Keep Hux away from there," Kylo told Ember.

"Of course," she answered.

"Great," Rey agreed happily. "I'll stay here for the meantime."

"As you wish, Miss Rey."

"So," Rey said when Ember and Phasma left. "That outside field, where is it?"

Kylo chuckled. "I'm not sure who's assigned to you today, but your Guard will not mind showing you. It's outside."

"It is not," Rey answered with heavy sarcasm.

She perched on his desk as Derek placed the first report in front of him while giving the necessary explanation. Half an hour later, after a quick peck on Kylo's cheek, Rey left.

The day passed by in peace. Rey joined them for lunch and meditation, before she roamed the base while Kylo went to check up on the trainees and the Base Knights. He taught her how to hold a pen in the evening and watched with mirth as she couldn't get a feeling for how much pressure to put on the tip, pressing through the paper several times. He kissed away her annoyance after.

The next afternoon, Rogue stayed behind after meditation for his reconnection. Rey moved to sit in a corner of the room, where Phasma was standing.

"Are you ready?" Kylo asked, seated in front of Rogue.

"More than ready, sir."

"I'm sure the others have told you what to expect, but I will still explain to make sure no information is missing," Kylo said. "As you know, Base Z's function was mainly to train the Force out of you. This means that, at one point, your connection with the Force got broken. This could have been a gradual occurrence, or a sudden shift, and there can be several motivations behind the process.

"My job is to undo the damage to your connection with the Force. In order to do that, I need to enter your mind and access your memories. Do not fight it or it will hurt badly and make the process extremely complicated. As I did for the others, I promise not to look at more memories than what's absolutely necessary and not to share anything I see with anybody unless you give explicit permission. That includes Rey.

"The first part of the process is for me to find the exact moment you fully lost your connection. This might take some time and several memories to pinpoint."

"I can point you straight to it," Rogue interjected.

Kylo blinked at him. "What?"

"I know the exact moment I broke with the Force," Rogue said with a shrug. "I remember it very well."

For a moment, Kylo stared at him, at a loss for words. "That's...unexpected. None of your fellow Knights remembered or realised they'd even done it. How come you do?"

Rogue shrugged again. "My caretaker said it was either that, or die. I chose to live."

"How come she told you that?" Kylo answered after yet again having to pull himself together from the shock. "From what I understand, they weren't allowed to mention the Force at all."

"They weren't. She got fed up with me."

"Fed up?"

"Now that I can understand," Rey murmured from her corner.

Rogue threw her a cheeky grin.

"I didn't exactly conform to the rules," he explained. "I kept practicing the Force in my room and got caught more than once. I would roll my eyes and just march off to the isolation cells myself. They weren't fun but I'd be damned if I'd allowed them to see me suffer.

"I bad mouthed everyone when I could get away with it. Whenever the beatings-called-training got on my nerves too much, I'd throw the trainer a look and very deliberately use the Force. It hadn't taken me long either to figure out that they wouldn't starve me too much in isolation. They wouldn't want me to lose much muscle mass. My fighting was already too good for them to just write me off.

"It drove my caretaker to insanity. Not literally, of course, but close enough. One day, as she caught me twirling some random objects around the room, she snapped. 'When are you going to finally get it?' she yelled at me. 'Either you stop using the Force, or you die. I don't care either way but please decide quickly so I can put my time into a less horrendous charge.' She turned and left after that, didn't even march me off to isolation. Probably because she knew it would be of little use."

He fell silent.

"And that's when you cut it off," Kylo ventured.

"A few days later, yes."

"Why still those few days?" Rey asked.

"I tried to think of a way out but could find none." He looked up at Kylo. "Which is how I remember the exact moment I cut it out." Rogue swallowed. "When Quicksilver and Daze told me what you were planning to do… I couldn't believe it at first but I still envied them. Envied them for their hope. They were refusing to tell me the location of this base. When Maz finally did, there wasn't even a sliver of doubt left. I want it back. I know what I've been missing and I want it back."

His voice had grown vehement near the end and Kylo could understand. To have known the Force and to have lost it, remembering what was lost, he didn't think he could bear it.

"Is that why you left the First Order?" Rey asked.

"Taking orders, it was beginning to chafe. To realise that the other Knights somehow all didn't remember what they'd lost was unbearable. One day, I'd simply had enough. I couldn't continue to work under people who routinely did that. I left. It was ridiculously easy, really. I had decided to never look back until I heard word of others wanting out. Not all Knights, but Troopers as well. That's how I got in touch with Maz. Took care of a few of her spies as well."

"Finn isn't alone," Rey whispered.

"It would seem not," Kylo agreed.

He wasn't sure how to feel about the news of Troopers defecting. It probably shouldn't come as such a surprise though.

"I'm guessing Finn is a former Trooper," Rogue said.

"Yes," Rey agreed. "But why wouldn't Maz tell him that there are more?"

"She doesn't keep track of those she rescues," Rogue casually said. "She sets them up, leaves them be, and forgets about them. Even if she'd told your boy Finn, she wouldn't have been able to contact any of the others."

"Maybe," Rey muttered.

Kylo nudged her through the bond before turning back to Rogue. "Have you ever tried to restore the connection on your own?"