Author's Note:

If you guys don't want to read this today, then that's fine.

I understand it's a tough moment for the whole fandom, take your time

I'm only updating because I had this written since a while ago, and because I guess it might distract you somehow.

Stay strong, love you all


CHAPTER 74:

Taking the reins


It wasn't easy.

Jay had to spend a whole day considering his next move. Ed and Edna supported him and even tried to insufflate courage in his veins so that Jay could make that final decision. Pain spread through him as he thought about leaving the devoted couple that had done so much for their child, but a bigger sorrow grew in Jay's chest whenever he contemplated the idea of never seeing Kai again.

No, not just seeing him. Jay wanted to do more than just that. He needed to hug him and speak once and for all from the bottom of his heart, which seemed to be one of the things that separated them.

When Jay finally walked up to his mother and told the woman he had made up his mind, Edna smiled at him and crushed her son in a strong embrace.

Jay would go back to the palace.

How so? He didn't have a single clue, but his parents wasted no time in helping him find his way to the royal residence.

Ed and Edna were old, they couldn't make such long and arduous trips on their own without putting their health at risk. But… they were well acquainted with all of their neighbors. Sooner than expected they managed to set a meeting with a man that would be going out of the city to make business. His destination wasn't all that near to the Palace, but he would help Jay making a good portion of the trip on his barrow, and only in exchange for being a nice, chatty companion to enliven the journey —something that Jay could provide without trouble. Once they got there, Jay would be on his own, but someone would surely be taking trips to the capital or its surroundings, and with a bit of luck, Jay could convince them to let him accompany for a bit.

It was risky, but Jay couldn't wait for Kai's men to come around —in case they ever did. Plus, he had no certainty that the soldiers would even be allowed to take him on their way back without the monarch's permission.

This time, Jay would have to make the first move in the love conquest. But that was fine, Kai had already done so much for him, a little retribution was due from the ginger boy.

The day of his departure arrived. Jay woke up early, having slept very little because of the anxiety that overwhelmed him the night before. Thanks Brahma, his parents were there to soothe his nerves. They made sure Jay didn't forget anything. He packed enough food for himself for a few days, plus a little extra for the kind man that would drive him to the next big city. Foreseeing that the next traveler might not be as generous, either due to their personality or because they couldn't allow themselves to transport a random boy for free, Jay also prepared a small bag with coins and stored a couple of his old royal clothes at the bottom of the backpack. Better be safe than sorry and find himself stuck in a foreign city with no resources.

After an early breakfast, the Walkers went in search of their friend, finding the man in front of his house as he finished loading the cart with merchandise he'd be selling once they reached their destination. Ed and Jay helped him carry the last sacks and secure all the bags, then the time for farewell came. While the driver kissed his wife and kids goodbye, Jay walked up to his parents, stomach knotting and fingers trembling. Not only was he anxious about this new adventure, a part of him still felt bad for separating from his family again.

"Be careful, baby boy." Edna rubbed her thumbs over Jay's freckled face. "Help and watch out for each other. Did you pack enough changes of clothes?"

"Yes, mom," Jay groaned amused.

"I just don't want you going through any mishaps. Tummy aches are common when traveling and-"

"Mom!" Jay squealed as a fierce blush warmed up his cheeks. Ed giggled at their banter.

"Are you nervous?" Ed asked, patting the boy's shoulder. Jay nodded, biting his lip when it started to tremble. "Why?"

Jay wanted to slap himself, he couldn't believe he was having second thoughts right when everything was ready.

But he did.

"What if... Kai doesn't want to see me when I get there?" He murmured to his parents with a tired expression.

Ed and Edna shared a surprised look, then they both grinned at each other.

"Close your eyes for a moment, Jay," Edna requested.

A bit uncertain, the kid did as he was told. His hands were grasped by a pair of equals, their small size and calloused tips revealed they belonged to his mother.

"Now think about when you were still living with them," the woman instructed.

Jay snorted. As if he hadn't been doing that already all this time. He took a deep breath and did just a tiny extra effort to remember each one of his days at the royal residence.

"Did naturally goof around you?" Edna asked.

He did.

Jay had trouble counting up the many times Kai had joked just to entertain him —because the Maharaja had done that every little chance he'd had. The playful tussle with the strawberries, the little pillow fight in Kai's room, all his sexual innuendos that once unnerved Jay but now he recalled with a stupid smirk.

"Did he look at you like you were his whole world?" Edna shot another question.

He did.

That time at the tailor shop, when Jay had just found that beautiful outfit and Cole called for the Maharaja's attention... Kai's eyes sparkled as he stared at Jay, his whole face had lit up at just watching the boy dressed in those dazzling clothes.

"Did he care for you?" Edna inquired a third time.

He took a stranger into his house and treated his injuries. He defended me from Pythor's bullshit. And he brought me back here... even though he didn't want to.

Yes, Kai did care for Jay, every single second since the instant their eyes locked, the monarch had put the boy's well-being at the top of his list.

Edna spoke once again. "If the answer to any of those questions is yes, I'm sure he will be pleased to talk to you at least one more time."

Jay lowered his head on instinct as his mother's encouragement waged a war against his own insecurities. Edna though pulled his face up again and caressed his cheeks.

"I know I wasn't there with you and I can't judge it myself, but I know the signs of true love." She giggled. "Your father was exactly the same back in the days."

"Back in the days?" Ed whined with a funny face. "Who put a pine into his mouth a few days ago just to make you laugh?"

Edna chortled, her laughter spreading to her son in the form of a shy smile too.

"You're right, my tongue slipped," she admitted and pecked her husband on the cheek. Edna's attention went back fast to the boy in front of her. "What I want you to understand, my little ray of sunshine, is that no wound lasts forever. Not when there's enough love around to heal it. And I know," she said letting a hand move towards Jay's chest. "You've got a whole lot of that in here."

"Listen to your mother, son," Ed chirped. "Just talk to him with your heart."

Jay stared at the couple in slight disbelief but also appreciation, then pulled them both in for a group hug as the shock faded away.

"I love you so much," he murmured, shedding a few tears. "You're the best parents someone could ever have."

Sniffs came from Edna's direction, the woman rubbed hands all over Jay's back. "And you're a blessing of a son, my beautiful Jaybird. I knew it since the day I held you in my arms for the first time."

Tears sprang free from Jay's eyes. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"We'll miss you too, son." Ed placed kiss after kiss on Jay's hair. "So you better make the journey worth the hassle and get your man."

Jay laughed nervously, it was the first time either of his parents had referred to his love interest so crystal clear. Jay blushed but he also was grateful that the couple didn't seem to be embarrassed about what he felt for Kai. Having their approval was not necessary —but its existence was a boost to Jay's courage, that was undeniable.

"I hate to intrude but..." Their neighbour cleared his throat and looked at Jay from the cart. "We've got a long journey ahead of us," he reminded with a friendly smile.

Jay sloppily wiped the salty beads away from his face and took a deep breath, this concoction of emotions would take its time to fade yet, but he had to be strong and go on with the plan. Another look at his parents though and tears were rushing down his face once more. Ed and Edna hugged their son for the last time and kissed him goodbye before watching him walk over to the cart.

With caution, Jay hopped onto the vehicle. checked on the ox reins one last time before taking a seat as well, then pulled the ropes and made them snap lightly over the animal's back with a verbal order. The bovine fellow lowed and the cart started moving.

Both the driver and Jay turned around to wave at their families again, although the latter spent a lot more time. As the boy stared at the old couple holding hands and tearing up, Jay couldn't help to experience a sense of déjà vu. For the second time in his life, he was abandoning those who loved him, breaking their hearts a little, even if they'd all agreed to it.

When the pain from worrying his lip became too much, Jay drove a hand up to his chest and grasped the harmony ball over the fabric of his shirt. He pressed it close to his heart, noticing the small vibrations of the ball as it bounced against the golden cage, and he breathed deep and slow.

He was leaving his family again, but… if things went well, maybe he would be able to repair their hearts in time.

It will work! It has to! Jay cheered on himself. It was important for the journey that he believed in his own chances, despite how hard that might be.

Not even halfway through the neighborhood, started up a conversation with his companion.

"Have you traveled this far all alone before?"

"I'm not alone."

The man snorted. "You know what I mean."

Jay did. If luck was on his side, he would probably not be alone for the most part of the trip to the capital, but he was on his own, with no parents or dear friends to look out for him as he reached his destination.

"Yeah… Yeah, it's the first time."

"You're very brave." The man swiftly patted Jay's back.

Brave… Jay never considered himself brave before, but maybe things had been changing inside of him —and not just his feelings for a certain green-eyed boy. Maybe after all he'd gone through these past months he had also taken a step forward to maturity. Would a brainless kid perhaps cross the whole country to reunite with a boy with which he had a complicated and torrid relationship?

Maybe Jay hadn't matured that much in sooth… But it was about time he stopped being a chicken and took the reins of his own life.

'Go get your man!'

Jay suppressed a silly laugh as his father's voice came back to him.

Just wait, Kai, you won't see this coming.