September 30

The experience exorcising the demon has left us all a bit shaken up, especially Inuyasha.

That day, after we had patched up Miroku's wounds (he downplayed how much pain he was in for Inuyasha's sake) and were given dinner, Yasha and I went to the room we were given. It had felt like such a long day and both of us were exhausted after everything that had happened.

I had noticed he had been unusually quiet all evening. He also clung to me a lot, he had hardly taken his hands off me since we left the woods outside of the village. As soon as I sat down on the bed next to him he pulled me into his arms and just held me in silence for a few minutes.

"I can't believe I let this happen," he finally said.

I looked up at him. "It's not your fault. You had no control over it."

"I wanted to protect you though, and I was the one that ended up hurting you."

"I almost hurt you too. It was such a terrible feeling to not have control over myself like that." I shuddered at the thought. "I just kept thinking over and over that I didn't want to hurt you but I couldn't stop. I was so helpless. Is that how you feel when you're a full demon?"

"Yes, it's like it's me but it's not me. I know consciously what I'm doing is wrong but I can't stop doing it. There's even a part of me that enjoys it." He hugged me tighter. "There was a time where I wanted to be a full demon so badly, it was all I wanted. Until I realized how horrible it made me act and that I could possibly kill the best thing that ever happened to me. As soon as I realized that, I've been afraid of changing."

We sat in silence again contemplating that.

"Were you afraid of me today?" Inuyasha asked.

I hesitated but I finally responded, "Yes." His face looked pained. "But I also knew that I was the only one who could get through to you," I added quickly. "Just like before."

At that a small smile touched his face. "You've always been the only one that can save me when I'm like that. I just feel so calm around you."

I thought about how significantly he had relaxed when I touched him and said I love you today. "I could tell. I'm glad I can be here for you."

He kissed me, soft and passionately. "You soothe my soul, Kagome. I don't know where I would be without you." He kissed me again. "I love you," he whispered against my lips.

"I love you too, sweetheart," I said as I kissed him again.

We were both too tired for sex that night. Instead we lay under the covers, intertwined in each other's arms. After such a hard day, it was such a relief to be with him like that.

Since we've been home things have been a lot calmer although I can tell Yasha is still bothered.

This evening we spent some time sitting in a tree watching the sunset. It was extremely relaxing to be in his arms while the wind blew gently through the branches. I could tell Inuyasha was a lot calmer too which was a relief. I can't stand to see him so upset.

"Are you warm enough?" he asked.

"Of course." With his red robe over my shoulders and his arms around me, I definitely was. Although suddenly I felt something pinching my neck. "But something is biting me."

When I slapped it away, Myoga landed in my hand.

"Hi, Myoga," I said.

"It's about time you showed up again," Inuyasha said.

"Well I've been on very important flea business but I wanted to drop in and see how things are going. I understand that you recently turned into a full demon, Master Inuyasha."

"Who told you that?!" Inuyasha said in surprise.

"Miroku did."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Of course he did. So what? Who cares if I did?"

"It's been quite a long time since your demon blood has overtaken you. You must be careful or you'll be consumed by it completely."

"Wasn't my fault. Some stupid shadow demon possessed me."

"Oh really? Those are quite dangerous things. Once one possesses you, it's very hard to resist it. They can truly bring out the worst in a person."

"We were all possessed by it. It was really horrible," I said, shuddering at the thought.

"It's a good thing you were there, Lady Kagome," Myoga said. "You are, after all, one of the few things that can contain Inuyasha's demon side. If you weren't there, he surely would have been consumed."

I squeezed Inuyasha's hand. Just the thought of that happening was terrifying to me. "I wouldn't let that happen."

"That is if he doesn't kill you first...ah!"

Inuyasha picked him up and squeezed him between his fingers. There was fire in his eyes. "And just why the hell would I do that?!"

"Not saying you would...but it is possible…!"

"You're full of shit, Myoga! That would never happen!"

"Alright, alright, I get it!" Myoga exclaimed. Inuyasha stopped squeezing him. "Kagome, maybe another thing you can help your husband out with is controlling his temper."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Myoga looked scared when Inuyasha growled at him.

"Anyway, it's been fun you two! See you later!" Myoga said before hopping away.

"That damn flea," Inuyasha said. He hugged me a bit tighter. "As if I'd ever go so far as to kill you as a full demon...at least I hope I wouldn't."

"I know you wouldn't, honey," I said. "After all, you were able to stop yourself yesterday. You're a lot stronger than Myoga gives you credit for."

I felt him relax again. "I guess you're right."

"So don't worry about a thing honey."