*Violet's POV*

I drug my feet on the way down the stairs. I didn't want to be around the fairies. But I didn't exactly want to be away from them either. It felt that if I took as long as possible on my departure then I could somehow maintain both states at the same time.

But I knew it was impossible.

When I was only half way down I saw Topaz watching me from the bottom. I sped up my pace to meet her.

"Is something wrong?" she asked as I came to a halt at the base of the stairs.

"No, nothing like that." I said, "just wanted some air."

Topaz raised an eyebrow.

"Okay so I'm avoiding them." I admitted. "I need a minute before the train ride."

But rather than scold me, Topaz smiled. "It doesn't matter to me what you do." she said, "thought I was hoping to catch you alone."

"You...you where?"

"I wanted to give you this." she reached under her collar and pulled out a small blue green crystal on a chain. "It's a communication lacrima. I have the other in my desk. If things don't work out for you with a Fairy Tail, let me know. Kaze and I can come get you."

I took the chain from her hands carefully and pulled it over my head. "Thank you."

"Take care."

And with that she turned and walked back in the direction of her office.

I took a deep breath and turned towards the door, tucking the lacrima under my shirt as I did so. The idea of having a backup plan was comforting. But the idea that I might need one wasn't.

I shook my head as I stepped out the front door and onto the house's beautiful wraparound porch. The point of this little escapade was to clear my mind, not fill it with even more stressful things.

When we got back to the guild hall I would have to explain to the master what we had seen, and interaction I wasn't looking forward to. At least I had the prospect of more time with August to look forward to. There hadn't been enough time to figure out if he really had a plan before. If I was lucky we would get the chance to talk alone, go over everything that has happened since I left with Natsu for that job.

My attention was drawn away from my thoughts when I heard the door open and close a few feet to my left. My first assumption was that Topaz had come to keep me company, but a moment later a sickeningly familiar aura hit me. I felt my hair stand up on end as my mouth turned dry.

Natsu.

I felt my body locking up. Run away. Fight him. The opposing urges left me routed to the spot, unable to take either action. I was unsure if he knew I had noticed him. Surely he knew that the door would be loud enough to get my attention. Why didn't he speak? Unless he expected me to go first. I didn't know what to do. How had he even been allowed out here with me in the first place? There was no way he would have gotten past Grey and Erza with all his limbs intact.

And still he said nothing.

I forced lungs to take in air. If he wasn't going to speak I would have to. Remind him of his promise. Send him back. Send him away from me.

With great effort I pulled my tongue down from the roof of my mouth. "Did Topaz send you?" I had intended to sound cold and detached, but the effort fell flat. I felt like a frightened child.

Natsu didn't miss the quiver in my voice, but he seemed to be more focused on the fact that I hadn't turned to face him. He took a step forward, hoping to elicit a response.

I felt a shiver run up my spine, but didn't move.

He took another step, close enough to touch me now. I felt my body preparing to leap away should he try anything.

"She didn't send me." was all he said.

Make him leave. Sound mean. Sound scary.

"Then who did?" this time the tone was a little closer to what I wanted. But Natsu didn't react.

"Gramps." he said matter of factly.

The parts of my body that had loosened in preparation to run suddenly became stiff again. The guild master? Several pieces of information came together in my head. "That's why he sent you with us isn't it." stupid old man.

"Uh...yeah." Natsu said. I realized that my disinterest was affecting him now. I was dumping too much of the conversation on him. He couldn't keep it a float on his own. But it wasn't enough to make him give up. "He thinks I should talk to you."

No more questions. End the conversation. Give him nothing else to talk about and he'll leave.

"We have nothing to talk about."

Both of us knew it was a lie. But the cold shoulder spawned no malice in Natsu. If anything he seemed more determined to get over my walls, to break them down. He seemed to believe that if he stared at my crumbling exterior for long enough, it would suddenly become transparent. And I would be inclined to agree. But what he found inside would not be the Violet he had been looking for.

I had to fight him off for as long as I could.

"Listen," he said, "What happened in the woods-"

"I don't want to talk about it!" my voice failed me on the last word, threatening to devolve into a sob.

Shock. Concern. The desire to comfort.

Damn it.

Detached. I had been trying to be detached. But I couldn't let him talk about it. I had only just mentioned it to Topaz the night before, but the memory of it was too bright, the wounds too fresh, too new, to discuss it with Natsu. He, who had held my life in his hands, and then thrown it back in my face. I couldn't let him go there. And yet...my outburst had been a mistake.

I had set gears to turn in his head. He was realizing now, perhaps for the first time, how much damage had really been done in those woods. And I was forced to feel the weight of his realization along with him. I pushed it away, wishing again that I could strip myself of magic. Wishing that he had killed me like he was supposed to.

He took a step closer. Now all I had to do was turn my head, and I would see him. He could lean to his right just a few inches and his arm would meet mine. I wanted to run far away. I wanted to stay there forever.

I shook my head, allowing hair to shield me before he could think to look at my face. I didn't want to talk to him about the woods. But I would feel pins and needles prodding at my heart. Memories of times when we had spoken almost without fear. And always, his aura, like a beating heart. Filled with something. Something I couldn't quite place. It felt like pity, but lighter and more dense. A kind of pity that was waiting on the balls of its feet.

I had no name for it.

"If you don't want to talk that's fine." Natsu said, though I could tell he wasn't happy about it. "We'll just stand here."

Coming from anyone else the silence would have been a punishment. But I knew that this was his way of being kind. He was caving to my pleas for silence. And I was too relieved to realize it might have been better if he had just left.

I stared out at Topaz's lawn, and the road beyond it. The road that would take us back to our respective homes. August for me, and Fairy Tail for Natsu. The minutes passed, and I found my body relaxing in spite of itself. I kept on waiting for Natsu to break his silence, for him to bring up something painful, but he didn't.

And still that feeling was there. The not-quite pity seemed to be bleeding out of him, and filling the air with something that made me want to cry and laugh at the same time.

I searched through my memories for any kind of definition for the emotion. But quickly realized it wasn't something I had seen in large doses. I thought of Erza's constant cycle. Pity and denial. Pity and denial. What is the feeling she had been trying to achieve? Pity's apprehension? It was a determination. An intensity. I didn't understand.

But I knew how to get the answer. I stood there for several minutes.

It's a bad idea.

I want to know the answer.

The conflicting desires chased another though my mind and around my heart, and all the while Natsu's presence seemed to be growing more intense. The silence grew louder. My mind stilled. I made my decision.

"Hey Natsu?"

The words fell out of my mouth as soon as I decided to speak. I was on high alert, but too focused on the task at hand to even consider regret.

He tensed in surprise, then relaxed just as easily, only to have apprehension creeping back in. "Yeah?"

I hadn't thought this far ahead. "Well I…" my mouth was suddenly dry. I felt him looking at me, "Well, I was just wondering...your aura… I mean what you're feeling…" I took a deep breath. "I don't know what it's called." I blurted.

He stared at me. Whatever he had expected me to say, this wasn't it.

"You want to know the name of what I'm feeling right now?"

I noticed that there was a little gap in my hair curtain, just enough for him to see my eyes. I kept them focused on the peeling paint on the porch rail and gave a single nod, biting my lip.

He let out a deep sigh, and I could sense him preparing the answer. The name of the not-quite pity.

"Violet…" my own name sent a shiver up my spine. "It's called compassion."

I looked up at him then, locking eyes for the first time since he had removed my mask. My mouth opened, preparing words that even I wasn't yet privy too.

"You mean-"

The door behind Natsu burst open, and the rest of the fairies poured out. I closed my mouth and returned my gaze to my shoes.

I had my answer.