"Oddly Normal" (Rose)
Things seem oddly normal. I certainly have not forgotten or moved past all of what's happened, but Gaius awakened a hope within me. Those visions were so harrowing, it's become sort of difficult to think of much else.
I stand by what I told Merlin - I'm not afraid. But I am concerned. Morgana cannot be allowed to get away with what we've seen. Gaius is very much wary of overreaction. Merlin wants to be proactive. I fall somewhere in between. I believe we were shown these visions for a reason, but sometimes, in the quest to prevent a situation, we accidentally cause it. We've been down this road before.
We all set about our days, not exchanging too much conversation. I, for one, am caught up in my own thoughts. Tonight we are all to gather and celebrate the Lady Morgana's birthday. I suppose it is better that we can keep an eye on her, but it will be tasking to keep up happy pretenses. It sincerely surprises me that no one else has picked up on her two-faced ways.
Once I've cleaned up dishes from breakfast and started prepping the medicines and mixtures for Gaius's afternoon deliveries, I lose myself. I do not know how long I've been mashing herbs with the mortar and pestle when Gaius frightens me half to death. I jump at the sound of his voice, almost dropping my work.
"I believe the Tarsley's joint relief is quite crushed, wouldn't you say?" he takes the tools from my hands.
I laugh at my own devoid attention. "Sorry, Gaius. Yes," I gladly let go and let him take over.
He sniffs the mixture. "Did you add something to the hemlock and henbane?"
"Oh! I added some lavender and sage. Mrs. Tarsley loves lavender, and the sage is to balance it so Mr. Tarsley can use it, too, and not feel, as he so delicately puts it, 'pissy prissy'," I roll my eyes with a small smile.
"Your mind is marvelous," Gaius beams with pride.
The flattery strikes and overcomes me. "Thank you, Gaius," I give his shoulder a light shake. We finish the rest of the preparations together. Before he sets out again, he grabs some manuscripts on floral herbs. I sit with him, selecting a book on how to mend broken bones. "Feeling inspired?"
"Quite," he smiles up at me before returning to his reading.
Some quiet time passes. It's actually a bit peaceful. As if on cue, Merlin bursts through the door. "It's happening - the future I saw. It started." His declaration sends my stomach to the floor. The book in my hands nearly falls with it.
"Calm down, Merlin," Gaius rebuts.
"I just saw Morgana struggling with a horse exactly as she was in the crystals," his face is etched with alarm, his eyes flash to me, then back to Gaius.
"Are you certain?" Gaius questions.
"It was the same image," Merlin replies with an unsettling confidence.
"But she's always riding," Gaius attempts to reason. "It's not unusual to see her with a horse."
As my heartbeat starts to slow at that, Merlin kicks it back up. "It's not the only thing." A small pause. "Arthur's present for Morgana - he's told me it's a dagger."
"A dagger? Merlin," Gaius's tone reeks of caution. "I think you're overreacting. It could be any dagger." Merlin doesn't respond as quickly, so he continues. "As for the sight of Morgana with a horse -"
"It was the same," Merlin interrupts.
Gaius presses on as if undeterred by Merlin's interjection. "It's hardly a rare sight. Certainly not one to be trusted as a harbinger of doom."
I keep glancing between the two of them. I can't decipher how I should feel at this back and forth. "Perhaps, we should just keep an eye out," I offer weakly. Merlin considers what we've said, looking unnerved. He looks into my eyes, and I try to smile despite everything. He seems to do the same before agreeing to return to his duties.
The day drones on. As I begin to pull out my ceremonial white dress, a knock at our door resounds. As Gaius is on his afternoon and evening rounds, I trudge lightly to the door. I open it to reveal Guinevere's glowing face.
"Oh, Gwen!" I say, surprised but pleased. She smiles. "Do come in."
"Sorry to interrupt," she remarks politely.
"Please, Guinevere," I place a hand on her shoulder. "A good friend is never an interruption."
A brightness sparks in her eyes. "Thank you, Rose."
"Of course," I nod. "What can I do for you?"
Her arms are behind her back. "Well," she pauses. "Lady Morgana gave me a gown she no longer fancied, and it doesn't quite suit me. I thought it might suit you." She pulls the stunning garment into view. It's a light and soft green with a transparent upper chest above the bust and sleeves with leaves and dark green flowers scattered about its gorgeous tulle bodice and skirt. The tulle flows throughout the dress into a perfect train.
"Gwen," I gasp, my heart both leaping and sinking. It's the one from the visions. "I cannot except this. It is too beautiful for words."
"If you don't, it will be a breathtaking piece gone to waste," she extends her arms, holding up the dress to me.
"I -" I stumble. "I don't know what to say."
"Easy," her smile widens. "Say you'll take it and wear it to the celebrations tonight. Please." After a moment of silent contemplation on my part, she pipes up. "I insist." She closes the gap between us, setting the bundle of fabric in my hands. The touch of it feels luxurious.
"Gwen, this is too much," I smile down at the dress, filled with thrill and dread all at once. "Really," I try to hand it back to her. "You should take this and sell it or something. You worked for it. I've done nothing."
"That isn't true, and you know it," she deflects. "You've done plenty. I want you to have it."
"You are too good to me," I smile at her.
"And you to me," she returns my smile. "Would you-" she shies.
"Would I what?" I gently probe her.
"Would you like to get ready for tonight's festivities together?" she perks up a bit.
"I would love to! I've honestly never really had any other girls around my age to really get on with," I begin to feel a bit shy at myself.
"Me either," she rocks up on her toes. "At least not ones of my status."
"Right," I nod, knowingly. "Do you want to get ready here?"
"Let's go to my house," she suggests. "It's just me there. There's plenty of room, and, this way, you'll get to surprise Merlin- and Gaius," she adds quickly, "With your new dress!"
"When should I meet you? I'm afraid you'll have to direct me to your home," I scratch the back of my neck with a slight look of embarrassment.
"I can lead you there now! Morgana is all ready and requested time to herself before tonight," she shrugs. "That's why I'm able to be here at the moment."
"Oh!" I brighten. "Lead the way then, my lady," I half bow.
"As you wish, m'lady," she bows back, extending her arm for me to take.
I do so gladly, feeling a lightness spread over and through my heart.
"Endless Whirlwind" (Merlin)
I feel as though I should feel better, more at ease than I do. Gaius could be right, but he wasn't there. He didn't see what I saw. Rose seemed far more uncertain to jump on the same boat as Gaius. She saw the visions. She knows what's at stake. She looked unnerved to see me shaken to say the least. My mind is wrapped in what seems like an endless whirlwind of cycling thoughts.
Upon my return to work in his chambers, I am greeted by a very annoyed looking Arthur. "Ah, Merlin," his voice is riddled with agitation. "Have you done my clothes for the feast?"
My stomach sinks a bit, "Uh, no."
"No, no," he feigns a weak sense of surprise at the answer. "Well, what have you been doing?"
"Um…" I can't think fast enough to reply.
"Hmm?" he presses, waving his hands, waiting for some great excuse. When none comes, he continues, "Right, well, you can start by pressing my robes," he chucks them at my face. I thankfully catch them before I swallow fabric. "And cleaning my shirts," he aims them again at my head while continuing, "And, uh, ooh, polishing my boots." Wouldn't you know, he whips the pair more towards my chin, and they hit my chest, landing atop all the other messes he tossed at me.
As I gather and steady the objects in my grip, my eyes land on the small chest in front of him.
He notices and explains without hesitation, laying his hands on the box. "Ah, Morgana's present. What do you think?" I don't respond and look away as he opens the container and brings over the dagger. I don't want to see. Terror wells up inside me as he reveals the blade. But it dissipates just as quickly once my gaze drops to the dagger. It's a little thing with a wooden handle and an elongated arrow shaped blade - nothing like the one I saw in the crystals. My insides dance with relief. "Beautiful, isn't it, huh?" I think I begin to smile as he rambles on. "Feel the balance. Feel the sharpness of the blade."
The absurdity of it all hits me at once. I hold it in my hand, weighing it. I smile and even give a small laugh. "Yeah," I agree. "It's just what every woman wants, isn't it?"
"What do you mean?" he quizzes as I hand it back to him.
"Well, I'm no expert, but don't women normally go for pretty things, like maybe jewelry?" I give a sarcastically questioning tilt of the head and saunter away, leaving Arthur with an expression of mild bewilderment.
I make as quick as I can with the washing and hang the shirts to dry. Once they are ready, I return to Arthur's chambers and set out his robes and outfit for the evening, all wrinkle-free. Guessing the time and since the Prince is nowhere to be seen, I decide it's best to head home and get myself ready.
Gaius is reviewing his inventory alone. "Draw the short stick between you and Rose?" I tease, half meaningfully and half feeling a bit deflated that she's not here. Separation from her has been a very different beast lately, with what went on and then seeing visions of her dying anyways.
"No," he chuckles. "I haven't seen her all evening." My face must drop because he continues. "No cause for worry, I am sure. She may be readying herself for tonight in privacy. You two sharing a room doesn't always afford that."
I tilt my head in thought. We've always managed, but I conclude that's a strain of logic I'm willing to go along with since my spirits have lifted. Concentrated on my current task at hand, I charge forward into the room to prepare for the party.
As I get ready, my heart leaps with hope. Perhaps Gaius was right that there is nothing to worry about. It just seemed so horribly ironic Arthur would be gifting Morgana a dagger. But now that I've seen it, everything seems to be shifting in a positive light. I give a contented sigh and plunge back out of the room.
"How do I look?" I ask Gaius, spinning about so as to present myself.
"Same as you always do," he comments, bemused by my attitude.
"Handsome," I conclude.
He raises his eyebrows with a little nod, "You've brightened up."
I open my mouth with a wide smile and step over to him. "I've seen Morgana's present."
"The dagger?" he inquires.
"It's very plain, a bit boring," I happily reply.
"But not like the one you saw?" he furthers his questioning.
"No, that was sumptuous, ornate," I then dig at Arthur just a bit, "I'd probably be disappointed if I were Morgana."
"Good," Gaius smiles. "So now you can stop worrying."
"Oh, I have," I say, relieved. "And I'm going to continue as if I'd never even met Taliesin." I pause, taking in my own statement. "I'm going to enjoy this feast like everyone else."
"Even if it's for Morgana," Gaius retorts.
I give him a look that hopefully says, 'Did you really have to remind me?' Without wanting to continue this branch of conversation, I depart for the celebrations.
Though I know it is far from the truth, it feels like everyone in Camelot is gathered in the dining hall. The buzz is a bit surreal. My stomach sinks when I recall the subject of celebration, but I determine somewhere deep inside to enjoy myself anyways.
As my insides begin to lift, they immediately leap, then plunge through the floor. The wind rushes from my lungs as if I received a strong punch to the gut. A gorgeous head of flaming red curls with less than half tied in a loose loop around the head, woven with beautiful, delicate flowers pops into view. Rose floats into the room wearing a pastel green tulle gown with flowers and leaves sewn in various places around the bodice, shoulders, and skirt. I am thoroughly stunned - One, because she is the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on, and two, that is the very same dress she was wearing in the visions.
Her eyes meet mine from across the room. She gives me a soft, shy smile that instantly turns me into a puddle of Merlin. As she crosses to me, the rest of the world melts away. Her hair, eyes, skin, and dress all catch the light as she moves, and it bounces off her and straight into my burning heart.
Before I know what my body is doing, I meet her halfway, suddenly painfully aware of the silver pitcher in my hands. "Can I interest you in some wine, milady?"
"Yes," she says with a hint of a smirk, "But only when you may also partake, gentle sir."
I look around the room and make a face, "That may be a while."
"I can wait," she tilts her head and grins up at me. "Might I be of service until then?" She extends her hands to take the pitcher.
"You are a guest," I pull the pitcher in closer to my body.
"So then you must do my bidding," she slowly grasps the pitcher. "It's either this, or I will go find another unattended pitcher." Her sweet defiance fills me with even deeper gratitude at her presence. God, she's so beautiful.
It hits me that I've not spoken a word for far too long. "Just please don't let Arthur think I put you up to this."
"Nonsense," she takes the jug from me. "I will serve those out of his sight, and should he question me, I will express that I offered up my services in honor of the Lady Morgana and in respect of the royal family for being gracious hosts in including me in tonight's events." She sets off before I can retort.
Even I can't quite argue with that logic. Despite my better judgment, I call out her name as she turns to go, "Rose?" She spins delicately on her heel, facing me with a look of questioning and readiness. I let out a long exhale as I confess,"You are breathtaking."
A distinctly pink flare appears on her cheeks. "Thank you, Merlin," she curtsies. "You are rather dashing yourself."
I feel the tips of my ears immediately turn red as butterflies invade and domineer my innards. My heart aches as she leaves me behind, but in the fleeting moments I catch her eyes from across the room, the ache is worth it. She teams up with Gwen to take care of the other side of the room. As I carefully survey her, the inner war within me rages. I want nothing more than to pull her aside, tell her how I feel, and be with her until my dying day. I remind myself to stay vigilant. I attempt to focus on the subject at hand.
I can't wait to see Morgana's face when she opens her present from Arthur.
Toasts are made left and right now that everyone's been served a fair share of wine. "To the Lady Morgana!" the room outcries. She smiles as if genuinely pleased by the praise. I watch from a distance as she pretends to be pleased by the gift Uther has presented to her. Arthur meets my eyes and gives me a strange nod. I'm not the one to deliver her gift, so this confuses me for a moment. A knight presents her with a small box. Arthur wishes Morgana a happy birthday, and she reacts accordingly.
Much to my horror, she pulls out a small, elegantly decorated sheath. My heart is beating actively, so loudly, into my ears. As she unsheathes it and I eat my heart, Rose visibly stumbles. She doesn't spill her jug on anyone, including herself, but all the color drains from her face. She recognizes it as well as I do.
Suddenly Arthur is at my side. "It's not often you're right, Merlin," he jabs, "But this is one of those rare occasions. Girls do like pretty things." He slaps my back a couple of times. "Thanks."
I swallow. Hard. Why me? Why us?
