Rachel knew that, now Eden was here, she wouldn't get to spend as much time with her aunt and she understood that. She felt comfortable enough in their relationship to understand that Amy had more important things to focus on right now, but she would still be there if anything happened and Rachel needed her. They texted occasionally and Rachel and Shelby had been over to visit and take their gifts a few days after the baby's birth, but other than that, Rachel had left her Aunt to adjust to the change in her family.
With that in mind she was surprised to find Amy, standing by her car in the parking lot of McKinley less than three weeks after Eden had been born, "what are you doing here?" she asked as she allowed herself to be pulled into a hug.
"It's family dinner night" Amy told her as they both got into the car, "you and I are going to the mall to pick up something for dinner and then your Mom's coming over later."
"I thought, with Eden…"
"Lily and Max miss you coming over" Amy told her, "and so do I. Eden was being a little cranky so I asked Jimmy to pick Lily and Max up from school and I stuck miss grumpy pants in the car and came to get you" she gestured into the back seat, "so now I've got a sleeping baby, and when I get home with you I'll have two very happy kids, and I get to spend some time with you too."
Rachel and Amy made small talk on the drive to the mall, Amy clipping Eden's car seat onto the stroller frame once she'd parked the car, tucking the blanket securely around the sleeping infant before she began walking inside, "she looks so different" Rachel smiled as she glanced down at her youngest cousin.
"She does" Amy smiled, "she's filled out a lot and she's not quite so wrinkly."
"She's so cute."
"I think so too" Amy chuckled, "but I guess I'm a little biased. Y'know I think she might look like us. Since he first met you, Jimmy's been joking that your Mom had one baby and you're definitely a Corcoran, you look just like us, whereas Lily and Max look like him, they have his hair colour and his eyes, but I think it might be third time lucky and Eden's going to be one of us" she winked.
Rachel laughed, "I'm sure she'll be perfect no matter who she looks like."
"Yeah" Amy reached out to gently run her fingers down her daughter's cheek, "I think you're right. So" she looked to Rachel as they reached the food court, "what do you want for dinner?"
As Amy and Rachel walked around the food court, Shelby headed home. After replying to her sister's text to let her know it was okay for her to pick Rachel up, she'd decided to stay at McKinley a little longer to get on top of some marking and now that was done, she'd decided to head home to change into something more comfortable than her work clothes before driving over to her sister's. Sbelby knew Rachel understood why she hadn't seen Amy in a little while, but she knew that wouldn't stop the girl missing her Aunt so she was in no rush, wanting to give them some time together before she went over.
She threw her work clothes into the hamper once she'd changed into yoga pants and an oversized sweater, washing off her makeup and pulling her hair back from her face. Once she'd put her coffee cup and the plastic tub she'd used for her lunch in the dishwasher she went to go grab the mail before heading to her sister's.
Rachel and Amy picked out burgers for everyone, they didn't stay at the mall for long, getting the food to go and leaving as soon as it was ready. Amy had seen Rachel glancing longingly at Eden on more than one occasion, so as soon as they walked into the house she gestured to the couch, "sit down" she told Rachel, "I need to use the bathroom and I think there's a sleepy little lady that might want cuddles with you if that's okay?" Rachel nodded and made herself comfortable on the couch, smiling when Amy gently placed Eden in her arms, "I won't be long" Amy kissed Rachel's temple once she was settled, "and Jimmy's only in the kitchen, so just shout if you need anything before I get back" she told her, knowing it wouldn't take long for Lily and Max to realise Rachel was here and she didn't want her niece to feel like she had to take responsibility for the three children.
"Hi" Rachel smiled when Lily climbed up to join her on the couch not long after she'd reassured her aunt she'd be fine, "are you okay?"
Lily nodded and grinned happily, "Deedee like snuggling. You gots to love her really lots, like you love me and Max really lots" she said as she tucked herself into Rachel's side. Amy had been a little worried that Lily might not like 'sharing' Rachel with her baby sister, but she'd almost insisted that Rachel had to love Eden the first time she'd seen them together, something Rachel was only too happy to agree to.
"I do" Rachel smiled, "do you love her?"
"Mhm" Lily nodded "lots and lots and lots and lots."
When Amy came back from the bathroom, Max had joined Rachel and his sisters on the couch, only he'd brought his school book with him, and whilst cuddling Eden and Lily, Rachel was patiently listening to Max read, Amy unable to stop herself taking a photo before moving to kiss all four of them and join them on the couch.
Shelby meanwhile was flicking through the mail as she walked back up the driveway, it was mostly junk and bills that could be dealt with later, but then one envelope caught her eye and she froze, feeling bile rise in her stomach as she studied the envelope, making sure it did say exactly what she thought it did. Eventually she managed to make it back into the house, not making it much further than the front door as she sat herself down on the bottom step, fingers shaking as she ripped the seal of the envelope, her eyes going straight to the bottom of the page to confirm the sender was who she thought it was.
Part of her wanted to screw up the paper and throw it away, pretend she'd never seen it, but she couldn't do that, not only was she curious about the content, she knew she owed it to Rachel, so reluctantly she began to read.
Shelby.
I wouldn't blame you if you threw this away right now. But please, at least keep reading for a little while. I've been thinking about getting in touch for a while. Initially I thought about writing to Rachel but I thought this way would be better, I thought if I got in touch with you, you could decide whether to show her this. Whether to tell her about it, or just to pretend it never happened.
The first reason I'm writing to you, and writing to you now, is that I have a storage locker, it's at the place near the middle school, locker 137 is mine. The combination is Rachel's birthday. When Hiram started talking about leaving, about his other plans, I managed to get some things out of the house, some things from Rachel's room, all her baby things, school reports, photos, that sort of thing, I thought you might want them. I paid for a years storage upfront and that runs out at the end of next month, take whatever you want from there. The police have already searched it, I don't know if that will make you feel safer going there, I know my word means nothing to you, but I promise there is nothing there but Rachel's things.
Secondly, I know nothing I could say or do would make up for the way we treated Rachel, but I'd like to try and explain my side of things, whether you believe me or not is up to you, and I'd understand if you didn't.
We loved Rachel, I do still love her, she was our world, our perfect little girl. Hiram, he was the one who wanted us to make you sign that contract, he wanted her to be 'ours' it was almost like he wanted to prove a point, that two gay men could raise a baby, so we did, and she was perfect, we were perfect, we were so happy, we had vacations at the beach, we took her to swimming and dance lessons, we chased fireflies in the park and we, we loved her.
But then she grew up, and she started getting more and more like you in looks and personality and that made Hiram angry, he'd done everything he could to make her 'ours' but he couldn't change her DNA, he couldn't change the fact that her genetics were half yours. And that's when he started pushing her away, shutting her in her room so he didn't have to see her and having as little as possible to do with her, and every little thing she did angered him.
I tried to get her out Shelby, the first time he hit her I tried to get her out. I found out you worked at Carmel, I was going to go to her school, tell them I'd forgotten she had a dentist appointment and then I was going to bring her to you and ask you to take care of her. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I should just have brought her to you and given you money to buy her new stuff. He caught me packing some of her clothes into a bag, he broke three of my ribs and dislocated my shoulder, I told the ER staff I'd fallen down the stairs.
He beat Rachel too that night, worse than before, he said he'd done it to teach me a lesson. I was terrified of him Shelby, of what he'd do to me if I tried to help Rachel again, of what he'd do to her if I angered him. I know it's no excuse. I was her father, I should have fought harder, I should have protected her, she deserved none of it, I should have taken whatever he gave me and I should have protected her but I didn't and I'll never forgive myself for that.
I know it's pathetic but I did what I could. He wouldn't let me have anything to do with her, he made her wait on the porch for him to come home, I used to give her food and a blanket, or I'd let her wait in the house but she didn't want that, we were both scared of what he'd do if he found her in the kitchen. I'd try and sneak her money to get lunch when I could, drop snacks into her bag, but I knew he'd kill me if he found out and I was worried about what would happen to Rachel if I wasn't there.
He decided he was sick of her. He talked about leaving, about setting the house on fire to get the insurance money so we could start a new life somewhere else. When I asked what we were going to do with Rachel, he just shrugged, told me how sad it would be that we had to leave town after our daughter was killed in a homophobic arson attack. I felt sick, I couldn't believe it, so I suggested that we made Rachel your 'problem' and he just shrugged and told me that as long as he didn't have to deal with her any more he didn't care.
She's such a wonderful girl Shelby, and I know you'll realise that, I know that you'll love her the way she deserves to be loved and you'll encourage her to reach the potential I know she's capable of reaching. I'm sorry that I let you both down, that I wasn't the father Rachel deserved, that I didn't protect your daughter the way you trusted me to when you signed her over to us.
I know that my apologies mean nothing, that my excuses are just that. I failed. I let Rachel down in the worst possible way but I want you to know that I am sorry. I will never forgive myself for not protecting Rachel and I'll take whatever punishment I'm given without arguing. I don't know where Hiram is, if I did I'd have told the authorities by now,he talked about going to Mexico, then getting a flight to Europe but he never said where. I don't think you need to worry about him though, he wants as little as possible to do with Rachel, he wouldn't come back when the thing he wanted most was to be rid of her.
I am truly sorry Shelby, to you and Rachel and I genuinely hope the two of you are happy together, that Rachel's managed to settle down and that she knows how loved she is, and that she's living the life she deserves.
If you've made it this far then thank you. I won't bother you or Rachel again.
Leroy.
Shelby let her head fall into her hands. She didn't know what to think of the letter, she'd had absolutely no idea what she'd expected in Leroy's letter but it wasn't that. She still hated the man, hated what Rachel had been through because of him, but now she felt sympathy for him too, but yet wasn't sure she could believe his words, was left wondering if Leroy really had suffered at the hands of his husband or if he was just saying that to try and get her to forgive him. God she wished she'd got herself into therapy when she'd arranged for Rachel to see someone.
She knew she couldn't keep this from Rachel, she needed to be honest with her. She sat on the stairs for a minute to gather her thoughts before making a decision, she'd put on a show face and go to dinner with her daughter, her sister and her family, and then, once they were home, once it was just the two of them, she'd tell Rachel about the letter. She'd let Rachel know she'd read it and then allow Rachel to decide if she wanted to read it, or if she wanted to be told what it said. She could only hope that finding out about the letter wouldn't set Rachel back too far.
