Author's note: there may not be a chapter up Friday, just wanted to warn you beforehand
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
There was a bit of an argument in the afternoon, as Remus wanted to go to Transfiguration while Pomfrey thought he ought to rest more. He begged her, then finally pointed out that missing his exams would cause him more anxiety. Pomfrey hesitated at that argument then, after some more discussion, agreed to let him go. She told him if he felt like he was breaking down again to immediately tell McGonagall and return to the hospital wing. He was also to come back to the hospital wing as soon as he was finished with the exam. Just for a checkup, unless he was in 'bad condition'.
Bad condition, he thought as he trudged out of the hospital wing. Wasn't that his every-minute-status-quo? It felt like no matter what he did or how hard he tried he was in bad condition. In some way or another. Either anxiety, or panic, or sadness, or fear, or—or everything!
And his freak-out in Slughorn's office! Now that he could properly think about it, he burned with shame at what happened. Not just his babbling and falling over, but McGonagall having to carry him? How humiliating was that! How many people had seen that? How many students were around between the dungeons and the hospital wing?
"Remus…!"
He stumbled, nearly falling over at Lily's voice. She was hovering down the corridor, the end of her Gryffindor scarf she had tied as a headband rather frayed and damp from where she had been chewing on it.
"Remus," she said again, running forward. "I am so sorry for yelling at you—"
"N-no, it's—you—it's fine," he mumbled, flinching as she hugged him. Not only were voices too much for him, touch definitely was a major no again. "I deserved it. I was stupid."
She pulled away, hands still on his upper arms. "I still shouldn't have yelled. That was so damn stupid of me to do. I—I am so sorry. I really am. It couldn't've helped your state." They began walking together, Lily thankfully not touching him anymore. "Black's very angry."
"Is he?"
"He and Potter seem to be in the mindset Slughorn did something to you still."
Remus sighed, clutching his bag to his chest. "He didn't do anything."
"Were you accused of cheating?" Lily whispered. Remus nodded, and she let out a low whistle. "How bad is it?"
"Oh, no—not too bad, no where near as bad as it c-could have been." He paused, thinking. "Should have been. I wasn't—I didn't cheat. They kn-know that. I only tried to… to stop how bad the smells were. I wasn't thinking when I used the spell on myself. I should have thought…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "I should have t-talked to someone about it. McGonagall or—er, in any case, I—I could have been suspended or flat out got a failing grade for Potions. But—but Slughorn said if I get at least an eighty percent on the written portion I'll pass! It—it'll be a very low grade but I'll pass. And I only have detention, I'm not suspended which… is such a relief."
He knew that when you were suspended you got sent home for the amount of time given. Since it was exam week, he figured his suspension would have been fulfilled after the holidays. While his mother would have been happy if he stayed a few extra days, he most certainly wouldn't have!
Lily sniffled. "I'm glad it's not so bad. They understood you weren't trying to cheat, then?"
"Uh-huh. McGonagall was very kind about it. And th-they're going to talk to Professor Dumbledore about maybe allowing me to use the spell or—or something like it for Potions," he said, smiling a little until he noticed Lily was frowning. "Wh-what?"
"It's that bad?" she asked. "Your sense of smell?"
Remus ducked his head, staring at the ground. "Yes. Smells affect me strongly. It's r-really bad in Potions since it's so many ingredients in one room and everyone is—is working on them all at once. It's v-very overwhelming…"
"That must be difficult," Lily said when he didn't say anything else. "I mean, I knew you had trouble with the smells but didn't know it was that bad."
He nodded, still not looking at her. "Most of the time I can deal with smells because they're not so bad. Potions is difficult since it's the same thing on multiple desks, and they're being manipulated in a way to bring their scent out. Then it's all in one small room which makes it worse."
Lily stopped walking so he did as well, turning to face her. "Um. No offense but—"
His chest tightened as he waited for something horrible. No offense but that's weird, no offense but you're making it up, no offense but what?
"—how the bloody hell can you stand living in that dorm then?"
Remus blinked a few times then began giggling pretty hard. Of all the things for her to say, that wasn't anywhere on the list!
"It's hard," he admitted, still giggling as they began walking again. "It stinks! I try not to harp on them too much since I'm guilty of leaving my books everywhere but books and dirty socks are—are two very different things."
"Socks?" Lily snorted. "I'm talking about the pants everywhere! Last time I was in there I saw at least half a dozen laying around!"
Remus wrinkled his nose. "I was trying to be pleasant by using socks as my example, Lily."
"Ooh." Now she giggled. "Right. Though socks are probably awful too."
"Especially since—er, never mind."
"Since what?"
He shifted his bag around to put it over his shoulder but the weight of it hurt. Despite his shirt, jumper, and robes it felt like the handle was cutting into his skin. He quickly maneuvered it back into his arms. "Some of them tend to wear dirty socks often."
"EWWWW!" she squealed, a hand over her mouth. "Please tell me you mean only a couple of extra times past when they get dirty? No?" she whimpered when he shook his head. "Why are boys so disgusting?"
"I d-don't know…" He suspected if he didn't have to deal with the smells he'd probably leave his stuff everywhere too, as he already did with things that didn't stink up the room. "I doubt you girls are super clean though," he added, knowing their dorm wasn't exactly spotless.
"Er…" Lily's cheeks reddened slightly. "All right, maybe not so much. But it's not as bad as your dorm, I can promise you that!" After a second or two she gave him a sheepish smile. "All right, sometimes I wear dirty socks too, just not, you know, when they're very dirty, and mostly at home when I have to do my own laundry. Then I might put off wearing clean things sometimes…"
Their conversation ended as they neared the Transfiguration class and were interrupted by the other Marauders running over to greet Remus. Their pats on his back sent sharp pains through his body but he accepted them without complaint.
"Is Aegis all right?" was the first thing he asked, after Lily disappeared into the classroom. "You didn't hex him, did you?" James and Sirius went quiet while Peter coughed. "Guys?"
"He wasn't hexed," Peter promised.
"Jinxed?" Remus asked in case he was being pedantic, even though they knew perfectly well he was meaning any kind of harmful spell.
Peter shook his head. "No. They only threatened him a bit."
"Peter!" James snapped.
"What? He's gonna find out anyway," Peter protested.
"You can't keep anything secret, can you?" Sirius grumbled.
Peter scowled. "I can keep secrets when they're important, dumbarse. I think we all know that. And I can keep secrets from other people. Just—just not you guys. It's different when it's you guys. And it's different when it's from Remus and it's something he's gonna find out anyhow."
"You threatened him?" Remus demanded hotly.
James shrugged. "Only a little."
"Which is more than you should have!" Remus protested. "Aegis only spoke the truth."
"He gave you the spell," Sirius said casually. "He set you up."
Remus gaped at his idiotic friend. "WHAT?!" he shouted. James and Peter at least had the decency to look embarrassed; Sirius didn't look bothered at all, obviously believing what he had said. "N-no!"
"Remy, he—"
Remus was not giving Sirius the opportunity to smear Aegis's name like that. "No," he cut Sirius off darkly. "Absolutely not! Th—that is not what happened! I would have found the spell myself, given enough time! It was the spell I was looking for."
"Oh come on!" Sirius argued. "He—"
"No!" Remus snapped, the fury in his voice so strong that Sirius went silent. "Don't you dare accuse Aegis of anything." Sirius actually took a step back as Remus glared at him; he had no idea how scary he looked when he was this angry, had no idea if the wolf's anger shone through his eyes. "He was helping me. He is my friend and I am not going to stand by and let you say such things, do you understand?!"
Sirius swallowed, silently nodding.
That cooled Remus's temper a little. "Right. Well—g-good." He glanced at the Transfiguration classroom. "We need to get to our exams. But don't—don't you dare even think of Aegis being like that because he's not!"
He blazed through the door with James and Peter awkwardly following, and Sirius creeping along in the back. In the classroom, McGonagall gave Remus a different quill to sign in (Remus had never thought of that before, realizing in that moment that no matter what the exam was the teachers had them use special quills in some way or another) then she did some spells on him to detect magic. The calming potion was still active enough to show up, and McGonagall nodded. He had seen this done before for exams, a couple of his classmates who apparently needed some sort of magic in or on them for various reasons. Medications, he supposed.
A few of the other Gryffindors gave him curious looks as he slunk to his desk, glad this would be the only class for the day; he'd be able to go be by himself for the rest of the day after this exam was over. After Sirius's accusations of Aegis, he really wanted to be alone. Well, after he talked to McGonagall, as once the exam was over she held him back for a moment, wanting to know how he was doing. He promised he was all right, all things considering; being able to take the exam certainly helped him.
After that he spent the rest of the day by himself, feeling a little bad for scarpering off without saying anything to his friends. He just wasn't up to being social. Instead he curled up in the hospital wing for a bit, lying to Madame Pomfrey about feeling nervous in order to stay there… and also get some more of the calming potion since it had worn off. Was that bad? Needing… wanting more calming potion? Probably. He didn't care. If he was a normal person it wouldn't have worn off yet anyway.
/\/\/\/\/\
Remus returned to the dorms right before curfew, quietly gathering his wash bag and pajamas before slipping into the bathroom to get ready for bed; the other Marauders followed, in order to try to talk. They hadn't really had much of a chance during the day, especially since they didn't want to pressure him. Remus explained everything thoroughly—sort've. He didn't really go into much detail about the things Slughorn said. They were already furious enough with Slughorn, he didn't want to give them more of a reason to hate him.
"I can't believe you got into trouble for cheating when you didn't even cheat," James grumbled.
Remus let out a sigh. "I didn't. I got in trouble for breaking a rule. Which I did. Look, it—I—I don't want to talk about it anymore." He knew if they continued he'd probably work himself into a fit again, and he didn't want that to happen. Thankfully his friends relented and stopped their questions.
Not that it stopped others from asking questions. When Remus returned to the dorm Dave and Spinnet wanted to know what happened, as rumors had been flying around the school all day. Sirius told them it wasn't any of their business, then Spinnet asked if Remus had cheated.
"No," Sirius said, standing at full height. As the tallest second year, that was a lot of height. "He did not cheat, or else he would have been suspended, wouldn't he?"
Spinnet glanced at Remus then back at Sirius. "Er, yeah, I guess. Sorry."
That's the answer Remus found himself giving on Tuesday whenever anyone asked. No he didn't cheat, if he cheated he'd be suspended, right? He'd have lost a lot of points! Therefore it was obvious he hadn't cheated. He felt a little bad 'lying' until James pointed out it was the truth: Remus didn't cheat. He had gotten in trouble for using a spell on himself for class, not for cheating. That made Remus feel a bit better. James was absolutely right. Not that he'd ever say that, he didn't want to give James more of a reason to be egotistical!
At lunch Remus sought Aegis out to make sure he was doing okay, since he hadn't had a chance during breakfast; the two of them talked for a bit, ignoring the looks they were given by other Slytherins. Remus heard some mutters about a 'half-blood Gryffindor stinking up the table' which made him feel uncomfortable. Still, he talked to his friend, determined to ignore the whispered comments. Remus tried to apologize for his friends threatening him until Aegis cut him off, promising he wasn't bothered by what they did. He said he could see why they were angry. Aegis also went on for a while, apologizing for causing Remus to get into so much trouble. It took a lot of talking to convince Aegis that Remus didn't blame him at all.
"It's my fault for forgetting the rule," he pointed out. "I completely forgot."
"I should have remembered too," Aegis said.
"Please don't," Remus begged. "You were helping me. It's all right."
Aegis looked a little dubious but finally somewhat accepted that it wasn't entirely his fault, which was the best that Remus could do. Of course, if the situation were reversed Remus would feel terrible and absolutely blame himself for getting Aegis into trouble, so he understood why Aegis was being like that.
When Remus returned to the Marauders, Sirius looked like he had been eating something sour, but he didn't say anything and neither did Remus. Sirius hadn't apologized for what he had said about Aegis the day before though honestly, Remus wasn't expecting him to.
/\/\/\/\/\
All of Remus's free time was spent hiding from people who wanted to question him about what happened the day before and studying. Lots and lots of studying. In the evening he had to take a break to go to Occlumency. Well no, he didn't have to. Fawley had written asking if he wanted to put it off due to the exams but he wanted to have the lesson.
Before they began he did tell her what happened the previous morning, including winding up in the hospital wing. He confessed to being humiliated over his reaction and she comforted him, telling him he couldn't help how he reacted to situations.
"You're a nervous young man," she said. "It's not surprising you had such an extreme reaction to a very stressful situation. It's nothing you could have helped. You don't have any control over that, Remus…"
He sighed, burying his face in his hands. "I know. It's just very embarrassing to be carried off by your teacher!"
Fawley nodded. "I understand that. I'm very glad you're okay. I'm also very glad you were not severely punished for what happened."
"They were both very kind," Remus agreed, though he still wasn't sure how to feel about everything Slughorn had said. It was true his issue wasn't really a disability. It was a curse, it was dark, it was his monster side. He wouldn't be surprised if Dumbledore didn't allow it. "I wish I had talked to them. About the problem. I—" He tried imagining telling Slughorn directly that he needed smells blocked, and shrank back on the couch, feeling ill merely imagining the scenario. "Ahh—oh well."
The lesson that night didn't last long because he was so tired and pretty much every single memory was of his panic attack in Slughorn's office. In any case, his headache grew worse and he was hardly able to put up even a flimsy barrier. Fawley cut things off at the half-hour mark, refusing to go on any longer.
"Perhaps next month we can have an extended lesson," she said, giving him a hug. "I hope your holidays at home go well. If you need anything, please write to me."
"I will," he promised, not really sure what he'd need. Unless she meant if—if his father… But that wasn't… It—that… "I hope your Easter is nice too," he added, feeling rather uncomfortable.
"Also, good luck with the prank," she said with a mischievous grin. "I can't wait to see the results of that when you get back!"
Remus smiled back. After all the pain of not-quite-cheating at least he had the prank to look forward to. "I can't wait either. I hope the spell goes all right."
"I'm sure it will. You're an extremely talented young man." Fawley got to her feet, grasping hold of her cane. "I mean that, you know. You're one of the most talented magic-users I've ever come across."
He felt heat creeping across his face, and ducked his head so his fringe fell across his eyes. "Th—thank you," he mumbled, no idea what else to say. "Um—happy Easter, er, Miss—Miss Fawley."
Once he was back in his dorm he considered studying but instead crawled under his bed to curl up. All the events from the day before were still bothering him, and the fact he had messed up in Occlumency hurt too. He supposed, technically, the headaches weren't really a 'mess up', he just felt like it had been.
/\/\/\/\/\
On Wednesday the Marauders woke up a bit earlier than usual in order to go to the mirror passage. Remus felt nervous as he slipped past the mirror, hoping he'd be able to pull the spell off. The opening behind the mirror was nowhere near as big as the Great Hall however they really didn't have many options.
"Even if you only get half of the Hall it'd be terrific," yawned James.
Remus took in a deep breath and flicked his wand. The spell worked, filling up the entire room as well as much of the passageway behind it. The Marauders all whooped and cheered, hugging Remus tightly. Sirius gave him a noogie.
"We are ready for Friday!" giggled Peter, clapping his hands. "I can't wait!"
"Aw, man, it's going to be so good," laughed James.
"Should… we clean up?" Remus asked, glancing at the mess.
"I don't think many people know about this place, I doubt anyone will come by anytime soon," Sirius said, throwing an arm around Remus. "It should be fine till we get back from the holidays."
The Gryffindors had their practical Charms exams that day and had to go to class early, though, like Transfiguration, most of it was spent waiting while other students did their spells. The Gryffindors sat on benches, waiting for their turn. Sirius was the first one up, of course.
"Wanna quiet down there, Red?" James complained, as Lily was whispering spells to herself under her breath.
"Wanna go jump in the lake there, Mess?" she snapped back.
"Miss?" James tilted his head. "Did you call me Miss?"
"Mess!" she growled. "As in, Messy Hair. Do you ever brush it?"
James messed his hair up even more. "It's brushed, silky smooth, and perfect. Wild hair is not messy hair. What's with your hair today? It looks dumb."
She had recently cut her hair super short. "It's like Twiggy," she retorted. "It's one of Twiggy's short hairstyles."
"What the bloody hell is a twiggy?" James wanted to know. "Like a stick? You're trying to look like a stick?"
Lily groaned loudly. "No! She's a Muggle model!"
"Are you trying to be a model? Cause you definitely missed the mark—"
"Can everyone shut up please?" McNab demanded. "If you two want to argue, go somewhere else and don't distract the rest of us!"
James and Lily fell silent, and remained silent.
After Lily and Inkwood it was Remus's turn. Despite his nerves, he performed each spell perfectly and impressed Flitwick. His time inside the classroom was the shortest one out of everyone, since he hadn't needed to do anything twice.
Peter went, then James, and the Marauders wanted to go do stuff but Remus said he needed to stay.
"I'm taking my makeup written exam during lunch," he explained, staying seated. "There's no need to wait for me. Honest," he added when they sat back down. "Go have fun. I'll meet you in the Great Hall once I'm finished."
Sirius pulled out a deck of cards. "We can have fun here."
They played several rounds of Sphinxes until Twycross was finished with her exam, then Remus bid farewell to his friends before going into the classroom. The written exam was actually super easy and he finished it with plenty of time to spare.
/\/\/\/\/\
That afternoon they only had their History exam then the rest of the afternoon was free, and they spent it out at Fort Dragon. Remus sat on a rock with his nose in the Herbology book, only half-paying attention to the others until he heard 'dragon painting'.
"Huh?"
"We're going to try to go back to that room, on, um, the last night of April," James said, punching the air. "That is Walpurgis Night, right?"
Remus drew his knees up a bit, frowning. "Y—yes, it is, but that doesn't seem like a very good idea."
"You really think something will happen?" Peter asked.
"No." He shook his head. "I highly doubt anything would happen, which is why it isn't a good idea. Why go to all that trouble for nothing?"
Sirius shrugged. "What if something does happen, though?"
"As I said before, I assume those knights are merely a group of students much like us," Remus said, shutting his book.
"They were doing something so big they decided to put a super dangerous guardian for their room," James pointed out.
"When it was already kinda hidden by all the pits, too," added Peter.
"Pete, you really aren't agreeing with them, are you?" Remus sighed.
"Not… really," Peter muttered. "I mean, kinda. I mean—well, it is weird they put the painting up like that."
"Perhaps they didn't," Remus said, hugging the book to his chest.
James frowned. "You said that the Frank-thing was maybe connected?"
"Yes. The Frankish Short-Snout is from Francia, and Saint Walpurga has to do with Francia. However… perhaps the painting was already there?" Now he stretched his legs out, trying to touch the ground, sighing a bit when he couldn't due to his shortness. "Perhaps the painting inspired them. Perhaps they happened to find it on the thirtieth of April and made the connection between the Frankish Short-Snout and Walpurgis Night and—"
"Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps." James waved his hand. "That's a lot of perhaps there."
Remus scowled at him. "I feel it is more likely the painting was there first."
James bent in, his face inches from Remus. "I feel it is more likely that these Knights put the painting up. So there." He stuck out his tongue.
Remus yanked his wand out, quickly flicking it with a spell that made James's tongue grow flowers. He began choking and sputtering, flailing around until he ripped them all out. Remus was afraid he had gone a step too far with that one, but James grinned.
"BLOODY HELL!" he shouted. "BRILLIANT ONE! Where did you learn that?!"
The three of them clamored around Remus, demanding to learn the spell and they spent the rest of the afternoon making flowers grow on one another's tongues. Remus noticed that once they all learned the spell, the flowers that grew tended to be the same for each person. Whenever James did the spell he seemed to mostly grow bright, vivid, tropical flowers, while Sirius's were a magical plant called Moon's Creeper, which were glowing white flowers with black, creeping vines. Peter kept giving them delicate flowers like cow's parsley and Queen Anne's lace. And Remus could produce various ones if he focused hard enough but when simply doing the spell they tended to be a variant of primroses he thought were called starflowers.
They didn't return to the castle until they realized it was almost curfew and they had missed supper. They had to run as fast as they could, going straight to their dorms. James and Peter took the cloak to fetch food from the kitchens, then the four hid out on James's bed, eating and laughing about the flower spell, excited to use it for pranking.
