Author's note: trigger warning for dreams and reality being confused/blurred at the end of the chapter. I don't know if that's something that needs TWed for but I'm putting it in anyway in case. Plus accidental self-harm, in the same scene at the end of the chapter. This happens after Remus goes to bed.
Also reason for the early chapter: I don't know if I'll be able to keep to my schedule for a while. My mom's in the hospital again and I'm just not sure how things are going to go over the next week or so. So there's every chance there might not be another chapter for a while, but hopefully everything goes well and I can keep to my normal schedule starting Friday. But since I'm just not sure I figured I should go ahead and get tomorrow's chapter out now, while I can.
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When Remus woke up on Friday he felt nervous because of Potions. At least Thursday had gone decently, since both Herbology and Defense had been written exams which weren't too difficult; they also had the practical Astronomy exam at night which had gone fine too. Plus the questions about Monday had thankfully stopped, everyone moving on to a more interesting rumor about a seventh year girl and a fourth year boy caught in a broom cupboard together.
But now it was time for Potions again. Slughorn again. He crept into the classroom, feeling Slughorn's eyes on him as he slid into his seat, keeping his head down. When Slughorn set out the anti-cheat quills, Remus's heart rate began going faster and faster. He knew he didn't have any spells on him or potions in him however by the time Slughorn told everyone to begin, Remus was soaked in sweat. He carefully picked up the quill, moving it to the parchment. Slughorn watched him. Taking a deep breath, Remus pressed the quill to the parchment to write his name.
Remus Lupin.
He let out the breath, relief flooding his body.
Despite the relief, though, he still felt anxiety clutching at his soul as he carefully penned out answers. He needed to get a very good grade in order to barely pass the Potions exam, and he knew he could—but it was still scary.
Occasionally, he felt eyes on him until finally he glanced back. Snape quickly averted his gaze, a mild smirk on his lips. Remus shivered and returned to his test, trying not to feel sick.
He was one of the last ones writing, finishing up about ten minutes before Slughorn called the time. Remus's test was the first one Slughorn came for. He picked it up, giving it a frown, and then giving Remus the frown as well, before moving on to collect other papers.
Remus's legs were shaky when they left, and he needed to go hide out in a bathroom for a few minutes. He tried to convince his friends to go on without him but they stayed behind, which turned out to be a good thing. Within a minute the bathroom door opened.
"What do you want?" Remus heard James sneer.
"Rich as you may be, you don't own the toilets, Potter," retorted Snape.
Remus glanced up at the stall door, worried that a fight might break out. Instead, Snape went into the stall next to him, and at that point he decided to simply leave. He exited his stall, but of course Snape didn't really need to use the loo. His stall door opened immediately, and Remus found himself face-to-face with his sneering face.
"Heard you cheated," Snape said.
James, Sirius, and Peter were at Remus's side in an instant, James and Sirius with their wands out. "Bugger off, Snivellus," James snapped.
Snape glanced at them then back at Remus. "What, can't speak for yourself?"
"I d-didn't cheat," Remus whispered.
"You know, Snivelly, stalking people into toilets isn't exactly a normal thing to do," Sirius said rather lightly, despite the fact he had stalked Remus into a toilet not too long ago.
Snape took a step back, lip curling slightly. "It's rather pathetic—"
"What, you?" James asked. "I agree."
Snape's eyes were on Remus again, sending an uncomfortable shiver down his spine. "I shouldn't be surprised nothing happened." He spoke slowly, great care being put into each word as if he was saying some big revelation. "With two Gryffindors in charge of the school, there's never going to be any real punishment for those who deserve it—"
Sirius moved to stand fully between Remus and Snape. "If you don't shut your disgusting little mouth, I'll show you what punishment is."
Snape didn't seem phased at all. "I'm being forced to look at you, Black; that's quite enough punishment."
"Nobody's forcing you to stay here," James said.
Snape shrugged. "You're the ones blocking the exit," he pointed out.
"You're the one that followed us in here just to accuse Remus," Sirius said, though James did step aside and give a grand flourish.
"Is it an accusation if it's the truth?" Snape brushed past them, twisting to face them as he took a few steps back. "I know perfectly well it's the truth, Loopy. You cheated, and got no repercussions for it due to you being McGonagall's little golden pet."
A violent, rage-y sort of feeling rippled through Remus's body at the word 'pet'. The wolf jerked alive inside his head, and he physically jerked without meaning to. Snape smirked at that, seeing his words had gotten to him.
"Don't be so jealous because he's smarter than you," James drawled out, twirling his wand between his fingers.
"Jealous?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "What is there to be jealous of? Looking like a ten-year-old and getting sick every five seconds? He could probably pass as a first year… next year. Why in Merlin's name would I want to be like that? Besides, you may have good grades, Lupin, but judging from your appearance you'll probably keel over and die before your twentieth birthday. Oh yes. Very jealous."
Sirius shot out a hex and Snape ducked, the hex hitting the wall behind him instead. Remus assumed that would start a fight, however James began laughing so hard he dropped his wand.
"Jealous of Evans liking Remus more is more like it!"
Snape's eyes widened slightly, then his face paled and his lips clamped tightly together. "You little—"
That started the duel, and spells began going everywhere. Even from Peter, who had been silent the whole time. James picked up his wand to join in, ignoring Remus saying they shouldn't be fighting. Four-on-one… or rather, three-on-one at the moment, would be terrible. Snape was holding his own with a shield spell at least, but it wouldn't last much longer.
Remus darted forward, not caring. James and Sirius shouted at the fact he was basically walking in the line of fire and stopped their spells. Snape looked triumphant, twitching his wand to get a hex at Remus. He dodged the spell easily, yanking open the bathroom door and shoving Snape out. The fairly basic shield didn't do a thing when it came to physical touch.
Snape stumbled, protesting loudly, and Remus slammed the door shut, turning around to press himself against it to stop both his friends going after Snape, and Snape from coming back in. "Want to tell me what the point of that was?!" he hissed out. "What would that have done? Hmm? The three of you attacking one student?"
"It's just—" Sirius began but Remus cut him off. "Just what? Snape?" he asked, and Sirius gave a 'yeah?' sort of shrug. "You're right. It's just Snape, and he isn't worth it. He is not worth getting into more trouble. Besides—"
Then he heard Snape's voice on the other side of the door. "Have fun being late for your exam, Gryffindors."
Remus stared at his friends in shock. James glanced at his watch then held it up. They had less than two minutes to get to their next exam. Shit!
Snape laughed as the four of them took off, James shouting threats over his shoulder. They had the written part of Astronomy instead of Charms, so they had to get all the way to the Astronomy classroom instead of the Charms classroom; the Astronomy classroom was a floor above Charms, and Professor Spring gave them hell when they burst through the doors, removing ten points each for being so late.
Remus slumped in his seat, panting heavily, and feeling furious at himself for what happened. That had probably been Snape's intention all along, making them late. At least, that would explain why he had been slow and careful when he spoke.
After the exam was over Spring kept them behind to lecture them, and told them McGonagall would be informed about what happened. It didn't take long for them to find out the result of that, as they had the written part of their Transfiguration exams in the afternoon. McGonagall asked them to please stay behind, and they received another lecture.
"Late to class is one thing," she said at the end, "being late to an exam is beyond irresponsible."
"Yes, Professor," they chorused, all four of them hanging their heads.
McGonagall removed a few more points from Gryffindor then shooed the others out, wanting to talk to Remus for a moment. She wanted to check in to see how he was doing, since she hadn't had much time to do so since Monday. He promised her he was doing fine, that he was doing a lot better since it happened. Especially since the rumors had died down about him.
"Does it have anything to do with why you were late?" she inquired.
Remus bit his lip, looking down at his shoes, wondering how much she knew. Did she know about Snape? About what transgressed in the loo? "S—sort of?" he squeaked out. "Er. After—after Potions, Sn—Snape followed us and—and accused me of cheating. We… well, th-there was a verbal argument. Nobody got—got—got hurt," he added quickly, in case she thought there was a duel—well, there had been a duel, of course, but not enough of one to make much of a difference in his opinion. "Nobody got hexed or anything. I g-guess we were—um, that—that's why we were late."
McGonagall gave a small nod. "I see. Thank you for informing me. I also wanted to discuss with you something else. When you come back from the holidays, I think we should get together and talk about… any issues you might be having due to your… your…"
Remus looked down at his shoes. "Problem?" he offered.
"Yes," McGonagall answered hesitantly.
He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Er, P-Potions is the main issue, really. Th—that's all. The—the smells." He tugged at his sleeve, feeling awkward. Snape's words about being McGonagall's pet filled his head. "Besides, if—if you s-single me out t-too much that might—might arouse suspicion."
"I… suppose it might, however I think it is something we should talk about."
He shook his head. "There's n-not much to talk about, Professor. Um, I appre—appreciate it, I do, but it's—it's fine. I'd r-rather not get sp—special attention for anything. I don't want to r-risk it." There were sounds outside of her next class gathering in the hall. "I sh-should go—"
"Very well," she sighed. "I still intend to get together with you after the holidays, regardless. Have a good afternoon."
Remus gladly left, whispering to his friends what she wanted after they left, or at least the Snape part of it; he had no intention of telling them the other stuff. James was a little irritated Remus had told her about it, but Remus didn't really care. They weren't in trouble for that and besides, it was very likely she already knew judging by her question regarding their tardiness. Then he had to insist again he was fine, as all afternoon his friends had been expressing concern over the things Snape said. Remus wasn't really bothered by it, though Sirius especially seemed furious.
"Are we still doing it tonight?" Remus asked, wanting to change the subject.
"Of course we are," James insisted. "Why wouldn't we? Though we don't need to do anything for a little while."
"We should find Snape and make him late to his exam," muttered Sirius.
"I don't think he has anymore today," Remus said, and Sirius grumbled that they should tie him up and dump him in the lake instead, then.
As it turned out, they didn't have as much time as James thought, since they needed to go all the way to their dorm to get the invisibility cloak and the potion out from under James's bed, then all the way back down to the kitchens. By that point it was time to take the potion into the kitchens anyway. James and Sirius took care of that, under the cloak, while Peter and Remus sat in a hallway pretending to play cards while they waited.
"S'done," James's voice whispered from thin air, though Remus had sensed them coming. "Man, I hope everything goes well tonight!"
The feast didn't start until six. Pretty much everyone showed up a little early. The Marauders certainly did, and just as they were about to go in, Lily stopped them. She looked distressed, and Remus had the feeling Snape told her about what happened. Probably leaving out the fact he accused Remus of cheating.
"What do you want?" James asked.
"To talk to you," she replied, folding her arms.
"Me?" James narrowed his eyes. "Why? What for?"
Lily gave a sniffle. "What you—you—oh, why do you have to be such a jerk?!"
James blinked a few times then looked at his friends. "What did I do?" he asked. Sirius and Peter both shrugged. "Look, Red, whatever your problem is, can we deal with it later? We're kind've busy right now."
"Doing what?" Her gaze raked over all four of them. "Planning some prank, I imagine." James gave a disgusted sound then turned to walk into the Great Hall. "You should apologize!" she snapped.
"Fine." James messed his hair up and took a few steps to stand in front of Lily. "I'm sorry that I'm so amazing you feel the need to attack me for no apparent reason. Feel better? I sure do. Come on, guys—"
"You—" Lily began but Remus took hold of her sleeve, tugging her away from the others. He knew what the issue was, and he didn't want James and Lily to get into a big fight because of it.
"Is it about Snape?" he asked once they were sufficiently enough away.
Lily's forehead wrinkled, and she nodded. "He told me that Potter said things about our friendship." Remus wondered if Snape lied about what James said but to his surprise, Lily repeated word-for-word what James had said. "I know it's not—not that bad," she admitted, "and I know perfectly well Potter only said it to make Sev angry. But… Sev… he—he can be—"
"Jealous?" Remus offered as she floundered for a word.
Lily gave a tiny little sound of surprise. "What? No! Why does everyone think Sev is jealous? I know perfectly well that's what was said, by the way! Which is—is absolutely not true. Sev isn't jealous of your grades—"
"I didn't think he was," Remus cut her off before she could rant about that. It was almost six, the feast would be starting any second and they wanted to do the first part of the prank before the food appeared. He felt bad for wanting Lily to hurry up with whatever she had to say, but…! "Sorry. Wh—what did—what were you meaning to say? About Snape?"
"I was going to say…" She glanced around then bent in close. "Insecure. He's worried, you know, about—about our friendship."
Remus wasn't really surprised to hear that. "Did Snape tell you why he was talking to us in the first place?"
"Er, yes," she said, toeing the ground. "He said he wanted to ask you about what happened Monday…"
"He accused me of cheating," Remus explained, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. "That's why the others got so mad at him."
Lily didn't try to defend Snape at all which was a surprise. "I was worried about that. He asked me, the other day. If—if that's what happened. I told him no. Oh! I didn't tell him anything else, I promise! He knew I knew something but I swear I didn't say a word. I told him to drop it!"
"I didn't think you would say anything else," Remus said. Lily smiled, looking relieved. He felt that this conversation should go on longer, that it was important to discuss exactly what happened. That Snape said the bit about him dying before his twentieth birthday, and how horrible that was. But after such a crap week what he wanted more than anything else was to have the prank happen, to cheer him up. "It's—the feast is about to start, we really should go in."
"Oh, right. Sorry."
"No, you're fine. I—I am sorry about—um, about what happened."
Lily flipped her fringe out of her eyes. "I wish things were different."
Remus wanted to ask her, what things? The fact the Marauders and Snape hated each other? That Remus and Snape hated each other? Or something else? He was on the verge of asking her when he realized it was one till six. All he could really do was give Lily a quick hug then hurry back to his friends.
The Great Hall was full and they found seats near the door, which was where Remus wanted to sit anyway. As soon as they sat down the clock struck six, Dumbledore stood up to make a little speech about the term, the upcoming holidays, etc, etc. Remus's stomach was twisted into strange shapes, and he began to sweat again like in Potions. He licked his lips, getting his wand out. James kicked his foot gently, indicating for him to do it. Before the food appeared, so the mess wouldn't get in the food. That wouldn't be very fair.
Remus whispered the spell, flicking his wand. He was worried that he'd be too upset or anxious over everything that happened, and nothing would happen. A very faint bit of light shot up to the rafters and for a split-second he was genuinely terrified it wouldn't work—
It hit one of the rafters and there was a fireworks-sounding explosion, and eggs began raining down. Not only part of the room: all over. The entire room! He had done it!
There were shrieks as the eggs began falling and everyone covered their heads but the second the eggs hit anything solid they exploded harmlessly into a shower of pastel confetti. A few messed up and didn't explode, merely bounced off people or furniture to land on the floor and roll underfoot.
Hundreds of eggs showered down, exploding into a seemingly endless fountain of confetti; it got everywhere. It didn't take long for there to be a layer on every single table, and all over the floor. Some students were standing up, slipping a little on the confetti on the floor. The teachers were pointing to the ceiling, trying to figure out the source of the issue.
McGonagall, naturally, knew the real source and was storming down the aisle straight for the Marauders. Remus was snickering at the prank, and it took all his effort not to burst into laughter at the sight of his stern teacher covered in pale pink, blue, green, and yellow confetti. He quickly sent the counter-spell at the rafter, hoping McGonagall didn't see who did it in all the chaos.
"These decorations are brilliant, Professor!" James said when she approached them.
"I know perfectly well you two did it!" she snapped, glaring at James and Sirius. Her anger was a little undermined by a particularly large egg hitting her head, the confetti showering down. "It is always you two!"
"Thanks!" James and Sirius chorused.
McGonagall narrowed her eyes. The counter-spell kicked in and the eggs lessened up, though there were still quite a few falling. Everyone was watching the Gryffindor table, watching them, waiting to see what would happen.
"Did you do this?" she asked, folding her arms.
James shrugged. "Would you believe us if I said no?"
"No."
"Then what's the point in answering?"
McGonagall pressed her lips into a very thin, straight line, while Remus bit his lip, impressed by James's audacity. Sirius and Peter both looked impressed as well.
"Detention, Mr. Potter," she sighed.
"For what, Professor?" he asked sweetly.
McGonagall had no evidence James had caused it, therefore was unable to punish him for it. "Talking back. Give me your wand."
"My—what?" James's eyes went huge. "Why?"
"Please hold out your wand," she said, and James reluctantly held it out. "Priori incantatum," she said, and a wave of cold dread filled Remus's entire body. A ghostly echo of the levitating spell emerged from James's wand. McGonagall frowned, then asked for Sirius's wand. His revealed the last spell had been the tripping jinx, which he gave a sheepish grin for.
Remus's belly roiled and he felt on the verge of throwing up as McGonagall glanced briefly at him and Peter…
Then she sighed. "Very well. But you still have detention for talking back." She brushed confetti off her robes as she headed over to three third year Gryffindors, wanting to check their wands. She also checked a few students from the other houses, students who were known for doing pranks though none of them were as 'famous' as the Marauders. Satisfied none of them had done it, McGonagall went to the High Table.
Remus sank a little in his seat, arm wrapped around his stomach.
"Look a little less guilty there, Brains," James hissed out, kicking him again.
"I c-c-can't!"
"You look ready to die."
"I feel ready to die!"
The last egg fell (bursting over some sixth year Hufflepuffs) and Dumbledore got to his feet, waving his wand. The excessive amount of confetti swirled in the air, sweeping into one large pile (very, very, very large pile) and then promptly disappeared. There were still a few bits of confetti, but the majority of the mess was gone.
Dumbledore clapped his hands, and food began appearing on the tables. Everyone settled in, many whispering about James and Sirius, blaming them for the confetti despite McGonagall's spell clearing them. It was obvious they thought the pranking was over and done with, which made the potion all the funnier.
It didn't take long for everyone to start growing rabbit ears. There were loads of people shouting, "Are you kidding me?!" as their ears elongated and grew, also growing fur. Some were long and stiff, others were floppy, some were small, some were huge, some only had thin fuzz, others were very fluffy.
James's ears were tall and stiff with a mess of curly black fur covering them. Sirius's were floppy and covered in silky black fur. Peter's stuck out at odd angles with light blonde fuzz.
When Remus first bit into his food, he had been terrified that the potion would somehow give him wolf ears instead of rabbit ears. He was terrified the potion would do something to trigger his lycanthropic transformation. For that reason he had worn his pointed hat to the feast, and had asked the others to sit near the doors in case he needed to take off. When his ears began changing they immediately felt different than wolf ears. They got heavier, and droopier. Once they were done, Remus reached up to feel floppy, huge, and soft rabbit ears.
He tried not to cry, overjoyed he hadn't done something supremely stupid.
This time James and Sirius accepted the blame. McGonagall had long black ears that quivered in anger as she gave them detention. It was so hard not to laugh.
"Is that the first cat-rabbit hybrid?" James whispered as she walked off, and all four of them burst into laughter, covering their mouths to try to hide it while people glared at them.
"Carabbit?" Peter suggested.
"Bunnitten," Sirius snickered.
"Felagomorph," Remus offered, realizing as soon as he said it it wouldn't exactly be amusing. Sure enough their snickers were more of polite giggles, and Remus ducked his head, focusing on his food again.
Since the ears were not detrimental and it was a potion that would have to wear off, the feast continued.
When Dumbledore dismissed everyone, the Marauders hung back to let the crowd go by first; several students that passed them lobbed complaints about the rabbit ears and the eggs.
Once in their dorm, Remus began packing while the other three goofed off, swearing that they'd pack in the morning. Remus's ears returned to normal before anyone else's, so he had to hide out in his bed once David and Spinnet returned. The others joined him behind his curtains, playing a few rounds of Wild Adventures until everyone's ears shriveled back to human. Still, they stayed up very late—probably too late, but they wouldn't be seeing each other for two weeks.
Remus didn't get into bed until around four in the morning, and he woke up about half an hour later with screams of fear. He had had a nightmare of transforming in the Great Hall. Of them pranking a feast with a transfiguration potion, and Remus turning into his wolf, like he had feared.
"Remus?"
Remus barely heard him. Instead he was grabbing at his ears, certain they were wolf ears, because that's what happened, right? They had turned into wolf ears at supper? That's why he had worn a hat?
Sirius flicked open the curtains, climbing into bed. "Remy, what—what are you doing? Stop that…!"
Sirius grabbed Remus's hands, gently tugging them away; that's when Remus realized he had been digging his nails in, faintly clawing at his ears. Sirius's eyes were wide, seeing a few streaks of blood on Remus's fingertips.
Remus quickly yanked his hands away. "Sorry, I—I'm fine—"
"Obviously not," Sirius hissed out. "What's wrong? What—what happened? In your nightmare, I mean." His eyes were locked onto Remus's ears.
He shook his head. "Nothing, it's fine, really. I got confused is all."
"About… your ears?" Sirius tilted his head. "Was it because of the rabbit ears?"
Remus withdrew from him, sitting closer to his headboard. "Sort've. I—I dreamt I turned into a—a wolf from the potion. Then I thought my ears had turned into wolf ears." It was another instance of dreams and reality bleeding into one another. "Did—I did have rabbit ears earlier, right?"
"Yes," Sirius replied immediately. "Peter got that picture of us, so if you need to see it maybe he can develop it in the morning—"
"No. Um, that—that's all right," he mumbled, putting a hand against his ear again, the scratches already healed. "I believe you." The dream was fading a bit, and it was easier for him to figure out what had been real.
Mostly.
"Remus… are you sure you're all right?" Sirius whispered, very concerned. "This isn't the first time a nightmare's made you confused—"
"Just groggy is all," Remus lied, not wanting Sirius to worry. "I'm fine! Honest. I'm very sleepy and groggy, and got confused." Sirius's forehead wrinkled. "That's all, I promise!"
"Okay," he replied, very dubiously. "Do you, uh, need anything right now?"
"No, thank you, I'm feeling better. Besides, we both need to sleep. I don't want to nap on the train."
"Me either. All right. If you need anything…"
"I'll say something."
Sirius slid out of his bed. "G'nite, Remy."
"Goodnight, Sirius."
Remus waited until he heard Sirius go back to his own bed before he curled back up, yanking Gwyllgi out from under his pillow and clutching his childhood companion tightly. He hoped he had convinced Sirius it wasn't anything bad, but deep down he was frightened that it happened again. And very frightened that he had hurt himself like that again.
