A/N.

Warning Mature rating on this one. Thank you to everyone who is still reading.

Sued13

Chapter Seventy Eight

Boil placed the helmet on top of the pyre, the last remnants of a part of his life he would gladly forget; he finally felt he was living up to Waxer's expectations. He touched the bacta patch on his scalp, the Empire had left the chips in but Ana said his had disintegrated, a soon as she removed it; if it had stayed in much longer it may have killed him, infection etc. That explained the headaches he'd had over the last half year or so. The Empire wouldn't have treated it; he'd be dead. Then she had given him the antidote. He didn't care that he felt rough, he had longer to make amends now.

He and Rex had both kept one part of their clone armour, or in his case, Waxer's. He was sure that the better man had died at Umbara and with that battle, the better part of him. His armour was mixed with Rex's; who hadn't stayed to see his burn. Boil never thought that he would ever see Captain Rex get rid of his armour but he didn't blame him. He had a life, a good life once he sorts it out. They had talked, more than they had ever spoken before, even after Waxer; he knew Rex blamed himself for that and finally both were leaving that war behind them for a different life, and for a different war.

He was up for that.

He was being given a second chance, with Numa, as a Nerra.

He would make the most of it.

He had some atonement to do.

He was grateful to General Syndulla for agreeing to arranging it.

"Hera's speaking to her father now." Rex watched the flames as they licked around the plastoid armour; it was time for them, for him, to move on."but he still couldn't do that to his helmet. Ana had taken it off him. He needed to talk to her. What she had done but…

"And Numa, Sir?" Boil interrupted his thoughts.

"She's on a mission. But it looks as if it will be okay. And call me Rex."

"Yes, S…Rex."

The smell from the plastoid was beginning to pervade the atmosphere and they moved away from the fire.

"How's the little 'un?"

"She's good. With Ana's Aunts. Hopefully she'll visit soon."

"And Ana?"

"Okay."

"You're a lucky man. Rex."

Yeah. Lucky. But do I deserve her. Does she still even want me? Broken. Too many memories. I thought I could get past em. Perhaps I can't.

"Oh, Rex — yours I believe." Boil pushed a packet into his hand. The letter and Kallie's hair. "Figured you'd want them."

He nodded wrapping his hand around the dirty paper.

"Cody?—"

"He transferred me there. He's never been the same, not since…the General. None of us have. But where else could we go?"

Where indeed.

.

Rex and Ana had been dancing around each other since they came back from Wobani.

It appeared neither wanted to broach the subject.

Ana had nursed him, through the injuries, the internal bleeding, he was physically healed but mentally….. the disbelief, the loss and the depression.

He'd kept himself distant from her.

Gregor watched him, arms folded; they had been through all this and now he wanted to knock their heads together.

"You gonna leave her hanging in the wind?"

"Huh?"

"You know what I mean."

Kriff the man could be obtuse sometimes.

"She told me what you'd said, wanted to know exactly what it meant."

Gregor was right they had been through too much to throw it away; he had promised Cin Vhetin but not delivered. Could he get any worse? He needed some Caf.

The water bubbled away, as he stood staring at the Caf grounds.

"You don't need it boiling for caf." Ana's hand brushed his side, as she leaned in to switch the water heater off. He hadn't even noticed she was here.

She shouldn't be here.

There it was that voice again, the one that stops him moving forward. She was willing to take the chance why wasn't he?

He turned, she had disappeared again; another chance missed—or avoided. He headed back towards his room feeling Gregor's eyes boring into him; he needed a shave. Balancing his Caf and toasted fruit bread supper in one hand, he opened the door. It was a reasonable sized room, some would say small. Wolffe and Gregor were bunking together again, to give him this extra room and Boil had the other. Ana had slept on the floor.

He looked up from his Caf; Ana was standing there, with a bowl of hot water.

"You need a shave and trim. I'll do it for you…unless….." she trailed off sounding less confident.

"That would be good," he had to give her something.

"Drink your Caf, I'll get your kit."

He sat down on the bigger bunk; his brothers had decided they needed more generous sleeping space, being older. He appreciated that and took a bite of the buttered fruit bread and drank his Caf. Ana emerged from the linked refresher, another improvement they had made. The familiar feeling started in his lower stomach; he ignored it and looked away. She deserved more than that, even though it was…..had been a large part of their relationship from the beginning. He had to admit he liked the closeness with her and not just the release; he was still attracted to her.

Ana stepped in front of him, cupped his chin and tilted his head, scissors at the ready.

"Careful with those," He half teased.

She smiled.

"You need to sit on the chair."

He moved and made himself comfortable; Ana moved around him.

She trimmed the left side of his beard, combing it through afterwards collecting the now fully white hair, staring at the strands in her palm for a few seconds, an indecipherable expression on her face; she moved to the right side. He took a deep breath through his nose; her movements released the smell from her recent shower and that familiar feeling nudged at him again. He watched as she expertly lathered up the shaving gel. He remembered the times, when she had shaved him before; it had always led onto something else, something infinitely more pleasurable. He tried to discretely adjust himself, when he saw her heading towards his beard again with the shaving brush.

"No. Leave the beard full." A little frown appeared. "I'm not that man any more." Ana didn't answer, just nodded and went to shave his head. She nudged his knees apart with hers and pushed in between, leaning nearer him. Inches from her breasts, he breathed deeply taking in the smell of all of her. Citrus and berries, from her shower, sugary sweet yeast from her baking—no antiseptic. He pushed her away; those smells evoked memories that were going to be his undoing.

"Do the front first, from the back."

"Okay." Ana moved around him, leaning on his back to reach forward; he could feel her breasts pushing into his shoulders. He squirmed in the chair; this wasn't a good idea. She massaged his head in deep, rhythmic circular strokes. He felt his shoulders relax, until he pulled himself back.

"Enough!"

She stopped immediately at the sharpness of his tone. All he wanted to do was to pull her to him but she deserved better than that. He felt the razor move firmly and cleanly across his head; her shaving strokes running in the opposite direction to his hair growth. She remembered. She towelled the front of his head dry, before he rubbed his hand across it.

"It feels good."

"Hmm."

He knew from the sound that she smiled at the compliment, as she moved around to face his front again and nudged his knees open. He surprised himself, at how easily he complied, as she leaned over his dipped head and started to shave the back. Smooth, sure, raspy strokes; it was hypnotising. He relaxed into it, into her breasts. She finished and towelled the remainder of his head. His hands had automatically moved to rest on the swell of her hips, holding her in place; he felt her move against them. His resistance finally broken, he wanted her more than anything.

"Oh, Ana, my Ana." He murmured under his breath.

He looked up to see her green eyes watching him, brows drawn together, questioning. He pulled on the edges of her tunic, watching her face, then paused, after a few seconds she lifted her arms. He pulled it up and over her head, discarding it..

She hadn't lost much of the weight after Kallie's birth, but he didn't care, it suited her. He pulled her down onto his knees, as his hands reached around her back, unclipping her bra.

"Hmm." He couldn't help the hum of appreciation that left him; he had always liked that particular part of her anatomy. Her breasts were generous white globes, pink nipples already erect. Always the first to show how she felt. He tentatively cupped one, rubbing his thumb over the pink nub; he was rewarded with a slow exhale, as Ana shuffled closer to him on his knee, pushing down on him. That feeling was no longer just an ache in his groin but a fire in his whole body; he felt he was going to explode. He leaned into her breasts forgiving softness and felt her arms encircle him. Her hot breath hit him just behind his ear.

Too many memories.

Why did I do this to her?

Her lips brushed against his freshly shaved scalp, as she rested her head on his.

"Ana, why me?... Why a broken old soldier?... I can't promise I won't hurt you again."

He felt her cheek lift from his head.

He now regretted the question and wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not."

Her hands were at the side of his face now and before he could say anything, she was kissing him; a demanding kiss that captured his bottom lip in hers, demanding that he respond. He did, pulling her even closer to him and as she opened her mouth his tongue invaded hers. They fought familiar ground for a several seconds until they separated.

"Bunk?" He asked hoarsely.

She nodded; he stood still holding her. He may regret this in the morning but he didn't care.

Pulling on the tie of her trousers, he watched as they slid slowly down; she carefully stepped out of them. His calloused hands moved gently down to her bottom, over and around finally squeezing in appreciation; hooking one finger over the top, he pulled her underwear down, she stepped out of those, as his eyes took in all of her. He was lost, he knew it and he always would be. She was compliant as he pulled her towards the bunk; lying down, propping herself up on her elbows, she now watched him undress, he felt slightly embarrassed as he had still not regained his fighting weight but he didn't need that here.

Kneeling on the bunk, he leant over her, her eyes watching him intently, as he kissed his way down to her breasts. She arched up to him as he took one fully in his mouth as much as he could, and sucked, teasing the nipple. Her low moan drove him on and she tried to stop him, as he moved back to pull her over the end of the bunk. He stood watching for a few seconds, the voice in his head telling him, he didn't deserve this.

Her hand reached for him; he swatted it away.

"You first," his voice was husky, as he knelt down and lifted her legs over his shoulders, he held her hips up. "Always you first, Cyar'ika." And he began in earnest.

Ana shivered before relaxing into Rex's rhythm, holding onto his arms, as he fondled her breasts; he knew all her weak points and he was working on them all. Wave after wave of pleasure hit her, as she rose to meet his mouth but he didn't stop; finally she had to lean up and pull him away, or she would be no good for him. He crawled up and immediately slid inside her, as he captured her lips in a kiss that spoke of desperation; Rex filling her, was what she needed, a whole different sensation, as they moved together. She pulled her legs back, urging him in deeper and deeper; as he moved over her, waves of pleasure continued to assault her. Her hips moved up to meet his, his rhythm started to stutter.

Rex didn't take long, he was still recovering his health but it was enough for both of them.

"Sorry." He muttered into her neck.

"S'okay." Her voice barely a whisper, as unbidden tears streamed down her face. He lay on her breasts, slick with sweat, still inside her, holding her closely, until the tears stopped and he kissed the remains away.

.

It was a long night, as they lay talking.

"What Co…the Imperial Commander said, was true; I fired on my brothers, including Jesse. How he escaped was miraculous but we've never been the same since."

He took a shuddering breath; Ana placed her hand on his chest trying against the odds to take the obvious pain away.

"So many of them died that day…so many."

He'd wept for his brothers in the past but there were no tears left, just an aching sadness.

"That doesn't change how I feel about you, Rex, that was then and I ….I can't imagine having to make that decision. You did the best you could."

"Ahsoka helped me escape and we buried them all, even someone we thought was Jesse and then we split up. It was too dangerous to stay together."

Ana didn't reply immediately but there was a question, one that still troubled her. One she had always wanted to ask. "Ahsoka… were you and her….?"

Rex looked at her and heard the implication.

"No. I'd never thought of her like that." His eyes were focused somewhere else. "She was a child when I first met her and only 17 or 18, when we escaped…perhaps,…. back then, if we had stayed together….possibly…" he sighed, realising he had put into words for the first time, something he had held in the back of his mind.

"I was jealous of her." Admitted Ana, still am, she thought to herself..

"Jealous?" Incredulity appeared in his voice

"She had all that time with you." Ana left it at that and laid her head back down on his chest. This was becoming a night of confessions. "Raif wasn't my first, or second, or even my third man. I never had a problem finding a boyfriend but I always found the wrong sort, even married one."

He lifted his head, finding an inference there.

"Raif." She clarified.

Rex had never asked that much about her past, he had never cared, content that she was with him. He pulled her even closer; "Don't think about him. This is about us and Kallie. We start afresh."

Ana stretched up to kiss him, he pulled her onto him and rolled them over, her hands resting on his chest holding her up.

"I'll bring Kallie back tomorrow, when I fetch supplies."

"Good." He shuffled a bit and she felt him stiffening beneath her.

"Rex?"

He smiled before capturing her mouth in a sloppy kiss.

He was home; he could rest later.

.

Rex was first in the galley or so he thought, until Gregor poked his head around the corner looking bleary eyed. Wolffe was repairing something on the platform, they had both heard the cursing and banging of metal.

"Did Wolffe wake you?"

"Nah, didn't really sleep much, there was some…..interesting noises all night." Smirked Gregor. Rex pointedly ignored him and put the Caf on.

"I'll have one, Ner Vod." Gregor asked, as if nothing had been said and sat back down at the small table.

A long, loud yawn announced Ana's arrival; Gregor frowned at the noise. She wrapped her arms around Rex's waist and leant against his back, oblivious to Gregor, until he poked his head around the corner again.

"I didn't realise you were up." She murmured.

"That's what you said to Rex, 30 minutes ago." Gregor smirked.

Ana fixed him with a stare.

"45 minutes ago." She replied tersely.

Rex chuckled and filled up the percolator again; he enjoyed listening to their banter. He hadn't realised how friendly they had become until Mandalore.

"Sorry, I didn't get much sleep. It was so noisy just after I hit the sack. Bang….bang….. bang."

Ana kissed Rex's back.

"Then again about two."

She still didn't move.

"I'm sorry."She offered, as the bubbling sound of the percolator reached a crescendo. Rex poured the Caf, not rising to Gregor's bait.

Gregor accepted the Caf and blew on the steaming brew.

"Nah. S'okay." He took a sip and swallowed. "You can't help it, if you're a moaner."

Ana blushed furiously and took her Caf off Rex.

"Careful, it's hot; you don't want to burn your mouth."

"Thanks." Ana blew on her mug.

"S'okay. Just looking after Rex's sex life."

"Gregor…" his name tailed off into a growl, as Rex stood holding his Caf and watching Ana head back into the bedroom.

"Just don't make her moan so much." Gregor smirked again; he didn't begrudge them their happiness but he did like his sleep.