Conversations on a Balcony

79

A/N: Gina said: "I would like to see a chapter of Cat being appreciated, a lot is said about Kara being admired/besieged. Cat is beautiful and is the queen of the media 😎 A jealous Kara would be interesting."

You got it! BUT, it wouldn't be one of my fics without a little twist. Sorry for taking so long. I rewrote this about three times until I was happier with it. The key takeaway here is that Kara is most certainly not perfect, but she wants to work on it.


Kara was pacing, tapping her fingertips against her cheek as her eyes returned repeatedly to the huge bouquet of flowers sitting on Cat's desk. They were gorgeous. She couldn't have picked better for her wife herself. But that was the problem. She hadn't. And now she was pacing, waiting for Cat to get back so she could see who sent them to her.

"Kara," Eve said gently. "She won't be back for a while yet."

The Kryptonian sighed and crossed her arms, reaching up to adjust her glasses. "I know. I'm just…"

The assistant chuckled. "Do you want me to read the card so you can have plausible deniability?"

"What? No!" Kara replied with a shake of her head. 'I'm totally not… I mean… they're just… It's…"

Eve lifted an eyebrow at her. "Kara…"

"UGH! God, I want to say yes… but no. Thanks." Kara shook her head again and went back to her own office, flopping into her chair dejectedly and then leaning back. "Get a fucking grip, Kara," she told herself. "They're just flowers. Someone wanted to show their appreciation and Cat deserves that." She slipped out of her suit jacket and picked up a pencil to absently gnaw on it. "I really need to do stuff like that more," she murmured in dismay. "I don't even remember the last time I bought her flowers."

She got up slowly and wandered out onto her balcony to lean on the wall and look down at the street below. Then she looked down at her left hand and rubbed her thumb against her engagement and wedding rings, her most cherished possessions. A tap on the balcony door brought her attention back though and she turned to smile at Nia, who stepped out into the sunshine. "Hey," the blonde said with smile. "Doing ok?"

"Better than you, I think," Nia chuckled. "You looked upset out there."

The hero sighed and leaned on the balcony wall again. "I feel like an idiot," she said softly.

"Why?" Nia joined her, affectionately bumping against her.

"How incredibly ridiculous of me is it to be jealous of a bunch of flowers?" Kara asked with a long exhale.

"Probably about the same level of ridiculous as my being jealous because Brainy paid for a girl's coffee the other morning. Turns out she'd just forgotten her wallet and he was being sweet. Which is totally one of the things I love about him."

"Love can be weird," the hero chuckled.

"And my dream powers make it so much worse sometimes," Nia added. "I totally had myself convinced that he was flirting with her."

"Brainy is the most loyal person I've ever known," Kara shrugged. "I really don't think you have anything to worry about there."

"No, I know," the dark-haired hero replied. She smiled then. "And so is Cat."

Kara was about to respond to that when she heard Cat coming up in her private elevator. "Uh… excuse me. My wife is back."

"Sure," Nia smiled, and she shook her head in amusement as Kara headed quickly back through her office and out into the hallway. She reached Cat's office just as her wife did too and Cat smiled broadly when she saw the bouquet sitting on her desk.

"Wow," she breathed, looking back at her wife.

"Uh… hmmm…" Kara lifted her hands a little and shook her head with a sheepish wince.

"Not from you, huh?" Cat said as she rounded her desk and sat down, disappearing behind the huge arrangement. It rustled a little and after a moment, Cat chuckled softly. "Awww, sweet," she murmured.

Kara swallowed and crossed her arms, bristling a little as she frowned unhappily. Cat got up then and smiled at her. Then she rounded her desk to kiss the younger woman's cheek and head out of the office again.

Kara watched her go and then held out her hands. "Oh my God. Seriously?" Then she shoved her hands into her pockets and trudged dejectedly back to her own office. Kara spent the rest of the day working through the items on her worklist and editing several shorter articles for the magazine. She drowned herself in coffee and ate far too many donuts, but the infamous bouquet of flowers wasn't ever far from her thoughts.

It was after six when Cat appeared at her office door. "Busy?" she said.

"Almost done," Kara shrugged. "How can I help?"

The older woman stepped further into the office and closed the door behind her. "Are you ok?" she asked, tilting her head.

"I'm fine," the hero replied, almost too quickly. "Totally fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?" Her tone was a little defensive.

Cat slowly made her way around the desk to lean back against it with her arms folded, looking her wife right in the eyes. "Something's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me," Kara replied, breaking eye contact and biting her bottom lip.

Cat reached out and smoothed her fingertip across the stress crease between her wife's eyebrows. "Crinkle," she murmured softly.

Kara's hands closed on the arms of her chair, making them creak under the pressure. Then she quickly got up. "Ok, fine!" she said. "I'm jealous that someone, who isn't me, sent you flowers."

"Ah…" The older woman crossed her arms and looked down at her shoes, her mouth twisting into a small smile. Then she looked up and her smile broadened. "Ok."

"Ok?" Kara repeated, her eyebrows shooting up. "That's all you're going to say? Jesus Christ, Cat. You're not even going to tell me who sent them?"

Cat was a little shocked and annoyed. "Are you saying that you don't want anyone other than you to give me flowers? That's pretty fucking controlling, Kara."

That took the wind right out of Kara's sails and she froze for a moment at the hurt on her wife's face. "No," she said then. "Not at all.. I just… I… fuck, Cat…I just don't want anyone to take you away from me." She sat down, tears rising unexpectedly, and wiped them away with her fingers before they had an opportunity to fall. There was silence between them for a long moment and then Cat shook her head as she crossed her arms.

Then she straightened and headed for the door. "Your sudden lack of faith in me is staggering. I'll see you later at home."

"Cat… I'm s…"

"Don't!" The older woman lifted her hand without turning around. "I need some time alone."

Xx

Kara stayed away for as long as she could. She went to Alex's and had dinner with her and Kelly. Then she drove around for a while with her BMW's top down, letting the wind toss her hair. She went to the boardwalk near the beach and walked for a while. She went back to the penthouse, parked her car in her usual space and then changed into her suit to go patrolling.

It was almost two by the time she got home, and she sat on the bedroom balcony for a while, unable to face finding out if Cat had locked her out or not. Finally, she got up and approached the door, letting her hand rest against it for a moment but then she jumped as it swung inward, and her wife pulled her inside by the front of the suit. "I'm still SO fucking mad at you, but I can't sleep without you so get in here."

"Ok," Kara nodded quietly. She changed into a tank top and boxers and joined her wife in bed, carefully keeping her distance and giving Cat the space, she'd asked for.

"I just don't understand," the older woman said after a long moment of silence. "I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out why you feel this way… and I just can't."

"I don't know either," the Kryptonian replied. She turned onto her side and looked at her wife. "I drove and walked and tried to figure it out myself." She sighed then. "Cat, I've been through a lot in my life and maybe it's catching up with me. I'm going to talk to a therapist."

Cat reached over to turn on the nightstand lamp and then turned onto her side too to gaze back at her wife. "Really?"

Kara nodded. "I lost my entire world and I've dealt with some pretty serious shit since Supergirl. You are so precious to me and I don't want anything to come between us, Cat, especially not something stupid like jealousy. This is on me and I need to fix it."

"Do you know of a trustworthy therapist?" Cat asked. "I'm pretty sure that you're going to have to talk about Supergirl stuff. In fact, it makes a little more sense to me now. How could you possibly go through losing everyone you loved without being left with fear of further loss?"

The younger blonde nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. There's a therapist at the DEO who's already signed the Supergirl NDAs. He treats agents with PTSD, and other emotional challenges, and I think he'd be a good place to start."

"Ok, good," Cat replied with a nod. Then she turned off the lamp again and to Kara's surprise, snuggled against her. "I'm slightly less mad at you."

"The flowers are beautiful," the hero said hopefully. "And you deserve them."

"Don't push your luck," Cat replied, but her wife could her the smile in her voice. "I still might put you in the spare room."

"I love you, Cat," the hero said softly. "And I'm so sorry for my behavior." She swallowed hard. "And for hurting you."

"Mmmm…" Cat replied. "Ok. You're not totally forgiven… but no spare room."

Kara let out a deep sigh, wrapped her arms firmly around her wife and kissed her forehead. There was quiet between them for a while.

"Kara?" the older woman whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I made a large purchase yesterday. The bouquet was from the sales associate who made a hefty commission from it. Honestly, I thought you would have just read the card. That's why I didn't specifically explain."

"I didn't want to pry," Kara replied guiltily. "Fuck, Cat, I'm really so sorry."

"You're lucky I love you so much."

'Yeah…" the hero replied, closing her eyes in upset. "Yeah, I'm totally aware of that."