Chapter 57:

Trigger warnings: references to mental health and medical procedures.


Michelle

"Johnny? It's Michelle." My voice is shaky down the phone, trying to compose myself as I shiver in the January weather, leant up against the wall of the hospital. "When you get this will you please call me? It's important." Hanging up the phone I try to take a few deep breaths, willing myself not to have an attack here and now whilst alone.

"You alright love?" A man asks me with concern, a shopping bag in his hand. I wondered what he was doing here. Maybe he was visiting his mum who was in with the flu. Maybe he had just had blood tests to rule out the possibilities of cancer. Maybe his wife or girlfriend had just given birth and he had popped out to get her a card and box of chocolates.

"Fine." I just respond, trying to control my breathing. He gives me another worried glance before walking off. Why was Kate away? Now of all times? I needed her. "Ryan?" I say down the phone once I have dialled his number. "Are you there?"

"Wassup mum, I'm just having a bev with the lads." He slurs down the phone. I check my watch. One fifty two. Actually, that was late for Ryan to be down the pub. "Mum?"

"Ry, can you come to the hospital?" I ask desperately and I hear him start to hush his mates. "Please? Now?"

"What's happened? Are you okay?" I sense the worry in his tone.

"I'm fine. It's Carla. And the babies." I just manage, hearing him making his excuses to his friends. "I need you."

"Hey, hey. I'm on my way." He reassures. "Weatherfield General, yeah?"


Carla

"Small scratch." The doctor recites as he changes the needle in my arm, once the drip had been swapped for some other liquid I couldn't even recite the name of. My arm was bruised from blood samples and cannula's, but it all just felt numb to me. I didn't even know how to think or feel. I felt guilty. I felt empty. I felt exhausted. I felt dizzy. I felt so, so sad. So sad about something that hadn't even happened yet. "Where's your wife got to, ey? Has she gone to fetch you some chocolate?"

"...I doubt it." I just mutter, tears swimming in my eyes and I just let one roll down my cheek silently, not even bothering to clear it. "Look, I don't understand. Surely you can just tell me." I sigh suddenly, looking up at him with desperation once he has finished fiddling with the equipment around my bed. "Am I going to lose my babies? Am I going to get worse? Am I going to have to stay here for the next twenty two weeks?"

"We don't know anything for certain, that's why we're monitoring you-"

"Yeah it just sounds like one of those automated voicemails you get when you try to phone up about switching your car insurance." I snap at him. "'We can't be certain', you're a flamin' doctor, I thought it's your job to be able to answer these questions!"

"At the moment we're just changing your medication to methyldop and labetalol, which will decrease your blood pressure. This is the main issue at the moment, which will be causing your dizziness and headache. Once we've got that under control, we'll be able to understand the severity of your condition a little better." He tries to explain calmly, although I wish I hadn't asked because the medical jargon just sent my mind spiralling even more. "But as Doctor Long said to you, we've caught it in the early stage. That's a good sign, as long as we keep an eye on you and make sure we do everything we can to stabilise you."

"...Right." I just mutter, not removing my eyes from my lap.

"I really think it would be a good idea for someone to be with you-"

"Yeah I'm sure she'll be back soon." I just dismiss him rudely and he nods, exiting the ward. Grabbing at my phone with the hand that wasn't imprisoned by a needle, a flick through it to find somebody I could contact. Somebody who wouldn't completely hate me when I told them how vile I had been to Michelle. Few options. Maybe Johnny, but I didn't want the 'I told you so' talk right now. It was times like this I hated that Roy didn't have a phone, so instead I dial the cafe number.

"Roy's Rolls, how can we assist?" I hear Cathy's voice, closing my eyes momentarily at how cheery she sounded. I hear the bustle of the cafe, people sat around drinking tea, discussing the most trivial things. "...Hello?"

"Cathy, it's Carla." I finally respond. "Is Roy there?"

"He's just - Ooh, hold on one moment Carla - No Alex, not like that." I hear her fuss, going quieter as she pulls the receiver away from her ear. I resist groaning in exasperation, waiting patiently for her to finish tending to the cafe staff. "Sorry Carla, it's mad here today. It's only two fifteen and Roy's already out of cream horns!"

"Ok, is he there?" I ignore her, putting a little more persistence into my tone.

"Well he's just popped upstairs for-" I hear her break off. "Ah, Roy. Perfect timing. Carla's on the phone."

"Carla?" Relief seeps through me as I hear his caring voice. I instantly feel comforted. "Are you alright?"

"Roy, can you come to the hospital? Please?" I cut straight to the chase and I hear him falter slightly.

"Whatever is the matter?" He inquires, a hint of worry to his tone.

"I don't even know." I start to sob again, my voice cracking. "I've got this high blood pressure thing and they've said it could lead to convulsions or fits or that the babies could die... I don't know what to do. I'm so scared."

"Where is Michelle?"

"I said some horrible things to her." I admit, knowing he wouldn't judge me for it. "She's left. I'm here alone. Please Roy. Please."

"Of course." He responds, warmly. "I shall ask Tyrone if he wouldn't mind so much as to give me a lift to the hospital. Do you have his mobile number so that I can contact you?"

"Yeah I have it from my last valet I think." I mumble, hearing him informing Cathy of his pending absence. "Thanks Roy."

"Anytime." He just answers before hanging up the phone.


Michelle

"Shouldn't you be with Carla?" Ryan asks, staring down into the overly milky coffee he had received from the server in the hospital cafe. "What if something happens?"

"Ryan she doesn't want me there." I sigh, putting my head into my hands. "I know Carla and I know when she wants to be left alone. She'll say anything to push people away so she can do just that."

"She wouldn't have meant what she said."

"I know." I offer him a small smile. "I've known the woman all my life. I can read her like a book. Not that she'd like me to admit that to anyone."

"They haven't said she's going to lose the babies." He reaches for my hand, trying his best to remain sensible under the circumstances. "It sounds to me like it's more trouble with her kidney than the pregnancy."

"Well everything contributes to one another, doesn't it?" I murmur, looking down at where his thumb was gently grazing the back of my hand. "She was right. I shouldn't have put her through this so early on. It was so selfish of me."

"Uh, it takes two people to make a decision like you did." He reminds me, retracting to fold his arms cockily. "Look, mum, it's nobody's fault. You've got to move forwards not look back."

"When did you get so smart?" I perk up slightly at his words of wisdom and he just shrugs, passing over a small grin.


Carla

"I said some horrible things to Michelle." I fiddle with my rings. The swelling had gone down and I felt a little better now the medication had kicked in. But my conscious was still heavy with guilt. "I didn't even mean it."

"Michelle is aware of your coping mechanisms." Roy offers me a cup of water and I take a small sip, feeling the cold soothe my burning throat. "I'm sure she'll make allowances under the circumstances."

"Allowances?" I scoff quietly. "Roy, I told her the babies weren't even hers."

Roy shifts uncomfortably, clearly not as knowledgable on the subject of same-sex conception as he was on most other areas of encyclopaedia. "Well uh... I'm unsure of the process you undertook but I believe a parent or parents are who raises the child."

"Yes I know." I sigh sharply, as if I wasn't aware of my stupidity.

"I once thought I was a father to Amy." He reminds me, although I didn't know much on the subject. "And even though I now know that's not the case, I still care a great lot about her." He hesitates. "And if you examine the relationship between David and Max-"

"Yeah you don't need to explain what a parent is to me, Roy. I know that." I cut him off and he politely falls silent. "I'm saying I shouldn't have said it. That I didn't even mean it. Of course I didn't."

"...We can't take back the things we've said; reverse the past." He recites and I hear him out, shifting my gaze to him. "But we can do our best efforts to make things right."


Michelle

I study the rise and fall of her chest, the way her hair falls across her cheek, her pale but beautiful face. She seemed so calm when she slept. I was sure it wasn't all calm going on inside her head.

Why were we back here? Why were we suffering once again? Was it a sign? Maybe we were just unlucky. Two weeks into the new year and already things were messed up. It was Ryan and Ali's birthday in a few days... Ruairi's shortly after. I hoped to God these two would hold out until the summer to decide to announce their own.

"Mm." Carla eventually stirs, her eyes fluttering open as she frowns in confusion at the surroundings. The nurse had said the medication might make her a little hazy. Her eyes dart to mine, suddenly sighing apologetically, tears formulating as I give her hand a gentle squeeze. "...Chelle..." She trails off, her voice cracking slightly as she whispers my name. "Chelle, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, no point going over it." I smile softly, trying to hold back the tears myself. She looked so vulnerable, all I wanted was to protect her and the girls. The girls. It didn't feel real to me. It had been twenty four hours of chaos. Now, it was so quiet, as if we were finally getting a moment to compose our thoughts.

"No..." She murmurs, searching my face, trying to understand why I was so calm. "I didn't mean what I said."

"I know. You're hurting. I'm hurting." I rub the back of her hand, trying to keep my voice steady. "I know you, remember."

"It's unforgivable-"

"Carla." I say with a little more force this time, still trying to keep my cool. "We've got more important things to focus on than raking over stupid fights, haven't we? Hey? Like our babies."

"Our babies." She repeats, returning my smile before glancing around the ward. "...Where's Roy."

"He split a cab home with Ryan, he had to go and lock up the cafe a few hours ago." I explain and her brow furrows. "Yeah, you've been out for a while, sweetheart. You must have been tired."

"...I think it's the meds I... What's the time?" She fusses, trying to find her phone and I pass it over to her.

"Nine, ten." I just shrug, unknowingly myself because I hadn't known how long I had just sat here watching her sleep. Willing for everything to be ok. "The doctor dropped in a few times."

"And said what?" Her face fills with dread and I just smooth her hair back, settling her.

"He said you're responding really well to the treatment. They've managed to stabilise you a little more." I inform her gently. "So they just need to keep monitoring you for a while."

"But... He said it won't go away. Until after the babies are born?"

I shake my head slowly, trying to force away my self-loathing at putting her in danger again. "No, but they can maintain it. Medication, regular check-ups, you're just going to have to take it really easy. If they discharge you."

"...If?" Carla repeats, her eyes going wide. "So I still might be staying here? For months?"

"Hopefully not." I try my best to reassure her. It was the last thing I wanted as well, but anything was a better alternative to an early induction. "We'll just have to see how you are in a few days."

She hesitates, as if weighing up whether to say something or not. Her eyes flicker back to mine. "I do want this, you know? More than anything... I feel like I made it sound like I didn't. But I do. I love our family. I love them, Michelle. And I love you."

"I know that." I return, leaning over to plant a gentle kiss against her lips, grazing her cheek with my thumb. "I know that."


Michelle

"You look shattered, love." Johnny observes from the other side of the bar and I just close my eyes momentarily, popping the books he had called me over to collect for Carla into my bag. It was a wonder how Johnny was her dad, clearly, he hadn't got to know her all too well in her lifetime if he was expecting her to read The Great Gatsby for entertainment. She may be climbing the walls in that place but I was unsure she would stoop to those levels of insanity. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Uh, you could pop into Underworld?" I suggest. "I mean, I'm sure Sarah's got everything in-hand but it wouldn't go a miss to check things over."

"Sure, I'll go over there this afternoon." He smiles warmly as I offer him the spare key to the factory, going to walk away before he calls me back. "Michelle? Send her my love, won't you?"

I just give him a reassuring nod swinging the door open, stepping out to nearly crash into Peter, books falling onto the floor in surprise. If it hadn't been one of my biggest enemies, it might have been like one of those dreamy high school films. But there was absolutely nothing I found dreamy about Peter Barlow, at least, not for a good few years now...

"Oh! Michelle! I'm sorry." He bends down to pick the books up and I let him, using the time to check my watch. "Hey, The Great Gatsby? A classic."

"You read books?" I arch an eyebrow, cockily as I stuff the collection back into my bag.

"Have you met my dad?" He manages a small laugh, which I don't find remotely amusing. "It would be difficult for me to not at least be knowledgable on some of the greats."

"Right." I just respond, going to cut past him. "Well, can't stop."

"Hey, how's Carla?" He places a hand on my shoulder to halt me and I just exhale sharply, pursing my lips as I meet his caring gaze again. "I was thinking of stopping by the hospital?"

"You?" I make it pointed, aware of how rude I was being. "I think that would make her feel more ill."

He doesn't even falter at my words, just waits for me to expand on the subject at hand. "She's getting there. Going out of her mind, obviously. It's been four days now and I think she's about ready to scream."

"Well, anything to protect her and the babies, am I right?" He offers the question and I just hesitate, wondering why he was being so kind to me.

"Yes. Exactly." I just put, my eyes drifting past him to where Ray was eyeing up Audrey's salon. I was pretty sure he had a different agenda than to get a lunchtime trim. "Hey, do you know him?" I point past Peter and he turns to glance at Ray, just returning a shrug. "He knows me by name, stopped me in the street the other day and made me an offer for The Bistro."

"What? And you reckon I told him?" He assumes, lighting a cigarette without even asking me and I step out of his way. The last thing I wanted was to turn up at the hospital smelling of rotted tobacco. "Never seen him in my life."

"Right well... See you then." I just mutter, making a break for it before he could question me further.

"Ah! Michelle." Ray's words cut through me as I pass Maxine's bench, stupidly turning to face him. He paces towards me, eyes glinting. "How's that lovely wife of yours?"

"...You don't know her, do you?" I frown, concern growing at how well he clearly knew my story. He shakes his head briefly. "You put it in a way which insinuates you do."

"Well you told me about her briefly and, I'm assuming she must be lovely to have landed a woman like you." His eyes travel uncomfortably down my figure again, much like the last time. I fold my arms across my chest, suddenly defensive. "Is she feeling better?"

"Did you want something?" I just shut him up and he narrows his eyes, prepared to play games.

"I just wanted to know if you had reconsidered my offer?"

"I told you. It's not for sale." I put, bluntly, my words harsh against the cold air. "Now quit harassing me in the street or I'll call the police." I turn on my heel before he can throw some witty comment back at me again, making my way towards Streetcars.


Carla

I was past the point of feeling bored. I felt numb. The white walls, the scratchy hospital gowns, the screaming woman who had been at it for hours in the room next door, everything made me feel more nauseous than I thought was humanely possible. It had been a week. I was going insane.

Granted, I wanted to take every precaution possible to make sure the babies were alright, but I would do anything right now to be curled up in bed at home with Michelle. She had been visiting as much as possible alongside trying to keep the factory afloat and keeping up with all the household shopping and chores. Every day she looked a little more exhausted. I'd practically had to beg her to take a few hours off today to talk through the plans for the Bistro with Kate, since her and Rana had arrived home yesterday. So instead, I had been substituted with a visit from my father. Which I'm sure would involve a lot of fussing, a lot of advice, and a lot of trivial storytelling.

But to my dismay, it isn't Johnny who walks through the door of the ward.

"Ah, found you!" Jenny grins widely, popping herself down in the chair next to me. I just stare back at her, panic flaring at the thought of being imprisoned in a room with Jenny all day long. "Gosh, these places, anyone would think it's Hampton Court Palace maze, eh?"

"...What?" Is all I manage, not even trying to decipher what she was already wittering about. "I thought Johnny was coming."

"Oh he'll be here eventually. He's just parking the car, getting a ticket and then he said he's popping to get us some lunch." She pauses. "Oh, did you want anything?"

"...Kalms." I just respond sarcastically, but she sends the text to Johnny anyway.

"Oh and another thing, why put the maternity ward on the third floor, ey?" She continues and I squeeze my eyes shut. "I saw a woman on the way up here. Massive she was. Huge! She was two weeks overdue. Two weeks. I said to her, 'why don't you take the lift? You look exhausted' and she told me the midwife had just given her the advice to walk around as much as possible in order to get labour rolling. She looked so uncomfortable, bless her. Hey, and that's just with one baby-"

"Jenny please stop." I just groan, rubbing my temples stressfully. "I don't want to hear people's pregnancy horror stories right now. In fact I don't want to hear pregnancy stories full stop. I'm sick of it."

"Right well..." She hesitates, pondering a thought. "I saw a lovely dog in the car park. I think it was a Bichon Frise. I've always been fond of them, me. I said to Johnny, if we ever get a dog, you know, when we finally move away to Spain, it's got to be a really fluffy one. One which everybody will walk past and pass comment on. Mind you, I think Johnny's more the Whippet or Border Collie type. Strong, disciplined, you know? Knows to go to bed when it's told."

"...Are we still talking about dogs here?" I frown, sighing exasperatedly. Regretting my decision as I didn't want her to go into that last sentence in case she was, in fact, talking about my dad. "Did you bring me any chocolate?"

"You shouldn't be eating all that sugary stuff." She informs me, which just winds me up further. "But I did bring you something, yes..." She rummages in her bag and my eyes light up, maybe there was value to her visit after all. "I got you... Ah, there you go." She pops a small tub down on the fold out table in front of me. I stare at the sliced carrots and celery blankly. "Wild vegetable crudités."

"...Carrot sticks?" I analyse, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Wild vegetable-"

"How am I supposed to grow two babies on carrot sticks?" I groan, pushing the tub away and resting my head in my hands.

"Oh charming. I thought you might like something fresh for a change, makes a difference from the sludge they give you here." I shift my eyes to her for a moment to notice how she is sticking her nose up at the surroundings, as if she was Queen Elizabeth on a royal visit to Weatherfield General. "So, how are you feeling then? Any updates on when they might discharge you?"

"No. Unfortunately." I mutter unenthusiastically. "But I'm feeling a tad better than I did this time last week. Honestly, I've never felt that ill in my life."

"What? Even more-so than with your kidney disease?" She questions. "Or when you had smoke inhalation? Or that hangover you had the day after you got smashed at the charity auction?"

I let out a low groan at the uninvited memories traipsing through my mind. "...Weren't you in a psychiatric ward then?"

"Well, yeah but... You hear everything don't you?" She shrugs it off, uttering a small laugh. "Hey, if there's one thing that makes you feel less insane, it's hearing about other people's insanity."

"...Right." I rip the lid off the salad sticks, biting into one. She hadn't been wrong; it was nice after eating the soggy fish fingers and cold chips they served here. I felt like I was back in primary school. "So how've you been anyway?" I decide to pass the time, knowing she would fill most of it with her stories. "Business good?"

"Oh same old, same old. Least I can help myself to the booze, ey?" She grins widely and I flash her a small smile. "We had that Ray come in the other day however, asking us if we were selling up anytime soon. He said he 'assumed Johnny would be retiring soon'. Cheeky beggar. Wouldn't kick him out of bed though, ey, don't tell your father."

"...Ray?" I repeat, having never heard the name before and she just nods bluntly. "Who's that?"

"Oh I assumed Michelle would have mentioned him!" She pipes up and I shift my gaze to her cautiously. "Charming man. Very attractive. I believe he's just moved into Victoria Court... I've seen Michelle having a couple of cozy chats with him from the doorstep of The Rovers. I thought she'd have dropped his name."

"...No she hasn't." I push the salad away, no longer hungry, but trying to keep myself calm. "Just how attractive is he?"

"Ey up now, remember you're married." She chuckles to herself, not noting the jealousy in my tone and I roll my eyes. "I don't know what he's been talking to Michelle about. Probably just getting friendly with the neighbours, hey? Now he lives in your building and all."

"...Yeah." I just respond, a sick feeling brewing in my stomach which I try to push away. I trusted Michelle with every fibre of my being. But I couldn't help feeling past my best at the moment, a liability, and a total cow after how I had treated her last week. I wouldn't even blame her for doing some harmless flirting while I was stuck in here. It was other men I didn't trust. Michelle was effortlessly beautiful and I hated to say it, could be vulnerable, she had a hard enough time trusting men as it was. I made a mental note of his name. Ray. Reminding myself to bring it up when I next saw Michelle.

One thing was for certain, I didn't like the sound of him.


Michelle

"So, have any news?" Carla raises an inquisitive eyebrow, tucking into the sandwich I had brought her. "Anything at all? Any conversations with strangers?"

"Uh..." I furrow my brow slightly at the questioning, running over the events of the past twenty four hours. "Oh, I might have a buyer for Robert's flat. Cash buyer as well."

"What's his name?" She asks almost abruptly and I hesitate, lingering on the assumption.

"...Her name is Joy." I inform her and she weirdly looks confused for a moment. "Anyway, I wanted to run something past you actually. There's this charity, they raise money for premature babies, you know... If Ruairi had... Well they'd have probably been a lot of help. I would really like to donate this money that we get from the flat sale. I mean, I lost my son but there's loads of mum's out there who have hope... I think it would be a great donation."

"...Chelle, it's a lovely idea." Carla smiles softly, placing a finger under my chin.

"You're sure?" I check. "We can use it for something else-"

"No. Besides, it's your decision. You were left the flat, hey? And I think Robert would agree it's a brilliant cause for the money to go towards." She assures me and I just nod, sharing a moment with her for a second. Her face creases again, clearly reverting back to a stone that had been left unturned. "So, anything else?"

"No, not really." I just shrug it off, knowing there was something she was itching to get out of me. "Why?"

"Nobody new knocking around on the street?" She persists and I take a moment to think, deciding it best not to mention the creep who had been hounding me about selling the Bistro.

"Uh... I don't know... I'm not Norris." Is all I respond with. "Why?"

"So nobody called Ray has moved into our building then?"

My eyes grow wide, panic rising inside me. "He's contacted you too? How does he know so much about us? And why? I've been-"

"Woah, he hasn't contacted me." She narrows her eyes and I calm slightly. "Jenny mentioned that you'd been having cosy little chats with him."

"Nothing about him is cosy." I shift uncomfortably, avoiding her gaze. "Jenny's stirring the pot."

"So... What?"

I sigh reluctantly, realising there was no way out of it now. "Well he came up to me in the street, knew my name and that I own the Bistro now. He tried to make me an offer and I rejected. Anyway, he doesn't seem to be like the kind of bloke who takes no for an answer... He's been chasing me about it ever since."

"Since when?" She asks gently, putting a bit more force into her tone when I refuse to respond. "Chelle, since when?"

"Like a week, a week and a half." I shrug and she shakes her head in annoyance. "Sorry, I didn't want to worry you."

"I'm more worried about you dealing with strange persistent men out there on your own." She points out and I exhale sharply. "Jenny said he was attractive."

"Ray?" I screw my nose up, finally meeting her gaze so she could see the refusal in my expression. "Slimy, more like."

"Ah, well that puts my mind at rest a little." She settles back into the hospital bed, contemplating something for a moment. "...You said he's been trying to get his hands on The Bistro?" I just nod bluntly. "Jenny said he'd been sniffing around The Rovers and all. Asking about when Johnny is set to retire."

"Well what's he planning on doing? Making the whole street into a theme park?" I scoff.

"You don't think it's some long-lost brother of Robert's, do you?" She suggests. "Come to claim what's his?"

"No." I shake my head, tracing my mind back. "No, this Ray... He seems like he's had practice at what he's doing." I meet her eyes, reading her expression. "And if I'm honest I want him staying well away from me and the businesses. I don't trust him one bit."