May 15, 1982

Calandra lay in the bed and tried to stop the coughs that wracked her body. She shivered and pulled the sheets tighter around her. Her throat burned and ached and she wanted nothing more than to take the purple potion and drift off into numbness.

But she couldn't do that.

She sipped from the cup of water that sat on the bedside table and tried to distract herself from the pain. She'd been trying for days now to bring the memories Sirius gave her to the front of her mind, but couldn't seem to get them to cooperate.


July 23, 1982

"May I please have an owl." Calandra asked the healer.

The little witch rolled her eyes.

Calandra lay still as the woman performed diagnostic spells on her. She stared at the wand in the healer's hand.

Her wand was probably in some box at the Ministry right now if it wasn't floating somewhere in the ocean. She'd probably never get it back. What had they done with Sirius's wand? Would he try to get it back if he got out? He loved that wand. Rowan with Unicorn hair core. It was a bit darker than hers, just barely, and half an inch longer. She'd accidentally picked his up from their bedside table more than once.

She looked over to the table that stood beside her new bed. She stared at the wood grain. Perhaps if she willed it strong enough she could transform this room into the room at home. The room with soft walls and a warm duvet. The room where his wand sat beside hers and when she rolled over, he would be there in bed with her. Perhaps if she thought hard enough, she could figure out a way to get back to that room. To get back to him.


September 7, 1982

"You're the only healer I ever see." Calandra said.

The little witch looked up at her in surprise.

"I'm your healer." she said.

"I had more than one at the beginning, though." Calandra said. "You said I accidentally stunned them."

"Yes, and they refused to work with you afterwards." the healer said primly.

"I'm much better now." Calandra said. "I haven't had any incidents in months."

"I'm afraid frst impressions are lasting, though, Ms. White."


November 3, 1982

It was his birthday today.

He was twenty-three.

He'd been in there a whole year. Over a year.

Calandra's lips trembled as she thought back to birthdays in years past. Tattoos and homemade breakfasts and gifts from friends. She couldn't give him anything this year. Not just yet.


December 10, 1982

Calandra drank the blue potion and stared at the empty vial in her hand. Not once had the vials ever actually disappeared or vanished. She could do it. Her throat still ached when she swallowed the potion, but it was nothing like it had been in the beginning. Surely, by now she had enough magic to get out. That's all she had to do; get out. She'd waited long enough; she couldn't wait anymore. He'd been stuck there too long already. She could do it, especially with a wand.

Calandra stood up and walked to the corner of the room. She ran her hand over the stone wall and lifted the vial up. She slammed the lip of the vial against the wall. A crack rang through the silence and Calandra looked quickly over her shoulder, watching the doorknob.

When it didn't move Calandra turned back to the vial in her hand. The lip had broken off and a jagged piece of glass rose up from the base of the vial. Calandra dashed over to the bedside table and scooped up the dark potion. She moved to stand beside the door, and she waited.

This was probably a sure ticket to Azkaban, but she didn't care. If she could just talk to Alice or Frank or Remus. Find them and explain that everyone was wrong, that Sirius was innocent. If she could get to one of them before Aurors found her, it would be worth it. Alice would help her appeal sentencing if she could. Calandra would probably only get a few years. Even if they threw her in there for good it would be worth it; she'd deserve it, but Sirius was innocent.

The doorknob turned and Calandra held her breath. The healer stepped into the room and Calandra pulled her to the corner, one hand holding the broken vial to the old witch's throat, the other tilting the vial full of dark potion to her lips.

"Open." She hissed.

The healer opened her mouth and Calandra tipped the potion inside, then tossed the vial down.

"Swallow." She said.

Calandra felt the witch's throat bob and she reached around with her free hand. She grabbed the healer's wand and shoved the healer toward the bed. The old woman coughed and sputtered as Calandra cast a binding curse at her.

Nothing happened.

Calandra waved the wand through the air and repeated the incantation. Still, noting happened. She spun toward the door and tried to unlock it, waving and jabbing the wand furiously. Nothing worked.

She turned back toward the healer and saw the old woman shaking her head at Calandra. Calandra turned back toward the door and tried to blast it open, tried to bring down the walls with reducto spells, tried every charm she could think of, tried to vanish the stones completely. Nothing worked.

Calandra pounded her fist on the door and the walls, screaming in outrage. She jabbed the wand into the wall and yelled curses. Calandra felt tears streaking down her face as she did everything in her power to gain access to the hallway beyond the door. All her efforts were in vain.

Calandra cursed and slid down the wall, burying her head in her knees. She threw the wand across the room and sobbed. Footsteps padded across the floor and she heard the healer pick up the wand. The old witch cast a spell to vanish the glass in the room and quickly levitated Calandra back to her bed.

A flick of the old lady's wand and Calandra felt the invisible bonds slide across her chest. She turned her head to stare at the white ceiling, pretending she was anywhere but here.

"It's in the food, too. Isn't it?" She asked.

"A necessary measure, obviously." The healer said and firmly shut the door.

Calandra lay numbly in the bed. Ten months. Ten months and nothing, absolutely nothing, to show for it. She had been deluding herself. Sirius was still stuck in Azkaban. She'd spent the past ten months trying to heal her voice, all for nothing. She should've tried to break out sooner. The magic suppressants had been in her food all along. Calandra choked out a strangled laugh as tears streamed down her face. Ten months, wasted. She'd failed. She'd failed him.


December 25, 1982

It was Christmas.

Calandra sat on her bed and ran her hands across the sheets. She wondered what had happened to the painting she'd planned to give Alice last year. It was three-quarters of the way finished. Had the Ministry raided the flat? Could they even find it? Had Sirius's wards held? Was the painting sitting in some basement as evidence? Alice would have loved it. It was her and Neville in the nursery rocking together in the blue rocking chair. She was going to add Neville's laugh. That beautiful little baby giggle that was a ray of sunshine in the dreary world. She fisted her hands in the sheets and fought the sadness that overwhelmed her. She'd do anything to hear that laugh again.