Brian was walking across the courtyard of Castle Black with Mance and Tormund. Alliser Thorne saw them and freaked out. "Escape! The prisoners have escaped!"

"They didn't escape," Brian said quickly. "I set them free."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"We need to band together with the free folk if we're gonna defeat the White Walkers. I'm going to Hardhome with these guys to bring back some more fighters."

Thorne was irate. "We've been bleedin' an' dyin' for all these centuries to keep the wildlings out of Westeros!"

"No, we've been bleeding and dying to guard the realms of men," Brian said. "And not against other men, which is all the free folk are, when you come down to it."

He and the wildlings walked past Thorne. When Brian was out of earshot, Thorne muttered, "Maybe the commander of the Night's Watch should be a man, an' not a direwolf."

Brian went to see Stannis and explained his plan. "Could we borrow one of your ships to travel to Hardhome?"

"I suppose so," said Stannis. "I'll be traveling by land; I don't need them."

There was a knock on the door. It was Snot. "Brian, there's a girl outside who wants to see you."

"Who is she?" Brian asked.

"She didn't give her name, but she has dark hair and glasses."

Dark hair and glasses? Could that be Meg? Brian leaped up from his chair. He ran out of the room and down the hall, barking excitedly. He bounded down the stairs two at a time. He raced across the courtyard to the gate. He opened the door…

And the girl standing there was not Meg. She had dark hair and glasses, all right, but she was too young to be Meg, far too young. "Who are you?" Brian asked confusedly.

She didn't answer. She was too busy hyperventilating. It looked like something had scared her.

Brian took her hand. "You'd better come inside with me," he said kindly.

He brought her back up to the room he'd just vacated. "Is that your friend Meg Griffin?" Stannis asked.

Brian shook his head. "I don't know who she is."

At last, the girl found her voice. "I'm Tina Belcher. Lord Bob Belcher's daughter. The Boltons just burned my castle down and killed the rest of my family. I'm the only one who escaped."

"Damn!" said Stannis. "The Belchers were the only house that supported me!"

"Your family and mine have always been friends," Tina said to Brian. "I heard you were the new Lord Commander here. You've got to protect me!"

"Sure, I'll protect you," said Brian. "You can stay here for as long as you need to. I'll make sure you're safe."

"We could have Gendry watch over her," said Stannis.

Tina perked up. "Who's Gendry? Is he cute? I bet there are lots of cute boys here."

"Well, they don't have time to spare for you," Brian warned. "They've all taken a vow of celibacy so they can focus on fighting White Walkers and zombies."

"Ooh, I've written some erotic fan fiction about zombies!" Tina gushed. Brian had no idea how to respond to that.

"Don't worry, young Tina," said Stannis. "I will avenge your family!"

"Wait, are you still going out to fight the Boltons?" Brian said. "You've just lost your only ally!"

"I have to move fast," said Stannis. "There's no time to lose."

Brian sighed. "Okay. Good luck out there."

"Thank you," said Stannis. "Good luck to you too."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, Steve was on a boat with Gilly and her son, headed for Oldtown.

"While I'm studying to be a maester, you can stay at my house, Gilly," he said. "You'll like my mom. She's real nice. And we have a fish that talks. His name is Klaus."

The baby was crying. His face was turning purple. "I think he needs his diaper changed," Gilly said.

"Okay, I'll get another diaper," Steve said. He rummaged around in his backpack. His fingers fell on something long and hard. "What's this?"

He pulled it out. "Isn't that the horn you found in the snow when you were takin' me back to the Wall?" Gilly asked.

"Yeah, I guess it is," said Steve. "It must have been in my backpack this whole time. I forgot all about it. I was gonna show it to Brian, because I thought it was cool, but I never got a chance."

He took a diaper out of the bag and shoved the horn back in there.