Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine

Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.


"Hey, uh, you ready to go or what?" Danny sauntered down the grass towards the shoreline where Steve was firmly planted in a beach chair.

Steve looked back over his shoulder before glancing at his watch, "Shit. Sorry. I, uh, I lost track of time."

Danny plopped down in the empty chair and stared out at the ocean, "You been doin' that a lot lately."

He raised an eyebrow and scratched the back of his neck. Danny was right. He had never been one to zone out or be distracted. If anything, he was laser focused to a fault. But Catherine? She had wrecked him. Just getting out of bed was a chore. It didn't matter if half the island was on fire: the scariest moment he had every day was summoning the courage to put his feet on the floor.

The nightmares were back. Sometimes it was just him. Just him reliving the hell he faced in the Taliban bunker with Hassan holding a machete over his throat. Sometimes it was Catherine in his place and he watched her die. Over and over again, he would wake up in a cold sweat and reach for his phone. Hoping, praying that there would be a message from her. Still, nothing.

If Catherine had been there, she'd laugh at him and tell him that phones work both ways and he could very well reach out to her if he wanted to. He had the number. So why hadn't he?

"You got a date for Kono's wedding yet?" Danny finally asked, breaking the silence.

Steve shook his head and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Nah. I'm just gonna go solo. Steal a couple dances with Gracie." He and Catherine had RSVPed for the wedding together. He had planned on whispering sweet promises to her while they danced that it would be their turn next. He'd take her by the hand and slip out of the reception to tell her his plan- that he wanted to make sure she would be ready when the time came for him to propose.

"Why not take Ellie? She's nice to have around and, uh, she won't take it personally when you inevitably start talking about Catherine." Danny offered. Honestly, it wasn't a bad suggestion. Steve and Ellie got along like two peas in a pod. She was easygoing, witty, irreverent, and had a great sense of humor.

He scrubbed his hands on his stubbled jaw, "She's like a sister. I don't look at her like that."

Danny chuckled, "She's pretty. She's smart. She'll punch you in the face. What's not to like?" Danny was right. Steve had a type. Unfortunately, there was only one explanation.

"She's not Catherine."

"Yeah." Danny folded, "I know."

Steve pressed his palms into his face and groaned, "Fuck. I don't know what I'm doing, man. I just… I can't let go of her yet."

Danny clapped his hands together before pushing out of the chair, "Well, lucky for you, we have a dead body to go look at. Nothin' like a little trip to the morgue to take your mind off things."


"You excited to be getting out of the 'Stan?" Jude grinned from ear to ear as he squeezed himself into the jumpseat beside hers.

Catherine leaned her head back on the shell of the C-130. "You excited to be on the ground with a Team instead of watching me on surveillance twenty-four-seven?"

"Hell yeah." He chuckled. "Ground strapping is great. All the fun of an op, none of the pressure."

She couldn't restrain the laugh that came out of her mouth, "You're telling me that you're about to do an HVT grab with a SEAL team as a translator and you're not the least bit nervous?"

Jude nudged her with his elbow, "Didn't say I wasn't nervous. Just said I didn't have the pressure on me. Besides, I'll have you in the situation room watching my back."

Catherine looked at the hatch that would eventually drop down for the SEALs to parachute into Syria. "When was the last time you did a HALO jump?"

"It's been a minute." He admitted. "Don't worry, Princess. I'll get back to you in one piece."

Steve used to love HALO jumping, she thought. High altitude, low opening. Gets you on the ground without enemy radar picking you up on the way down. He would always tell her about the rush as the hand of the altimeter hit that tiny slice of time that signaled the chute needed to be pulled nine hundred feet above ground. The snap and jerk as the nylon plumed overhead. The gentle glide as you neared the earth's surface. Steve described it as an art. Catherine had skydived on a few occasions- usually jumping around eleven thousand feet. But nothing, in Steve's opinion, compared to jumping out of a plane at forty thousand feet into the unknown.

"You better." Catherine murmured as she closed her eyes. "No one in the house annoys me quite as much as you do." She peered out of lowered lids just long enough to share a smile with him.


"Lieutenant Rollins?"

Jude nudged Catherine awake. "Hm? Yes?" She blinked once, twice, until her sight came into focus. A man in SEAL fatigues stood in front of her.

"I'm sorry to wake you, ma'am. I, uh, I thought I recognized your name from the list of straps and didn't know if you'd remember me."

Catherine studied the name on his uniform. "Martinez." A smile crossed her face, "Of course. Crater Lake- the Fourth of July trip."

Martinez grinned, "I thought it was you. I, uh, I heard you'd resigned your commission. Looks like you landed on your feet with the CIA."

She gave him a polite smile and nodded, "Yeah, I did. This is pretty… new." She glanced over at Jude, "But I think I'm gonna like it."

"How's McGarrett? Haven't heard from him in a while, but every now and then we'll hear about some big arrest he made. He and Harrington ever declare a winner in their pissing match?" He laughed.

Acid bubbled up in her stomach and heat flashed across the back of her neck. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. A warm pressure descended on her jeans and she looked down to find Jude's hand resting on her knee. The fire on her skin turned to a low simmer and her stomach began to settle. "We don't see much of each other these days."

Martinez nodded, "Ah, sorry to hear that. Glad to have you on the team, though." He gave them a polite wave, "I'll let you get a little shut eye."

As Martinez walked back to the hammock he had stretched out across the plane, Jude leaned down. His lips brushed against her temple as he murmured, "You okay?"

Catherine nodded, "I'm good." She exhaled slowly. Jude retracted his hand from her knee and crossed his tree trunk arms across his chest. She looked up at him, "Thanks."

"You know, one day after I jump out of this plane, I expect the story behind Crater Lake and the uh, SEAL pissing match." He cracked a smile, but her expression remained unchanged.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, "I'm gonna try to get some sleep."

"Princess." His low growl vibrated across her skin. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine, Jude."

"Prin- Catherine, I don't want to jump out of this plane with your head somewhere other than where it's supposed to be."

"I'm fine." Her eyes opened as she craned her head to look up at him. "My head's on straight."

Jude raised a thick eyebrow and gave her a wary look. "Good. Keep it that way. Then it's you packin' up and moving to D.C. and me sippin' umbrella drinks and laying out on the beach until I'm thoroughly buzzed and baked."

Catherine pulled down his pre-breath mask from the wall and handed it to him, "I don't remember inviting you to Hawaii."

He took the mask from her and chuckled, "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you on the ground." He fitted the device over his nose and mouth and gave her a thumbs up. Catherine reached over and gave his arm a squeeze as she settled in for a nap.

Forty-five minutes later, Catherine jerked away as Jude freed himself from the jump seat. He hung up the pre-breathe mask and wiggled into his jumpsuit. She felt her nerves kick up as she remembered Steve telling her about his and Freddie's last jump into North Korea. Jude strapped on his pack and double checked to make sure his altimeter was secured. Did Freddie know that that jump would be his last?

As if he could read the anxiety on her face, Jude leaned down and brought his forehead to hers. From the outside looking in, they were stealing a private moment, but it wasn't an act of intimacy. The roar of the engines was deafening as the ramp began to lower. His massive hand slid around to the back of her neck and cradled her head. His mouth brushed against her ear as he yelled, "Stay outta trouble, Princess. I'll be back to drive you crazy soon." He smirked as he strapped on his helmet and oxygen mask.

Catherine reached out and grabbed his arm, "Stay safe." She mouthed before letting go. She watched as he joined up with the SEAL team before disappearing off the edge of the cargo plane into the night.


Catherine paced the tent. Her thumb nail had been chewed down to nothing. Damn. She was going to need a nail tech to work some manicure magic on her hands when she got back to the States. She tried to keep her mind off of her impending return to Hawaii by staying focused on the assignment, but now that the SEAL team had secured their HVT and had begun exfil, all there was to do was wait. It was a catch twenty-two. Worry about Jude to stop worrying about Steve or worry about Steve to stop worrying about Jude. There was no winning.

Eighteen very long hours on the ground at Al-Tanf had her unravelling. Her nerves were a mess and her hair was even worse. Her reserved military bun had transformed into a rat's nest after hours of running her hands through it in frustration. For an hour of the mission, Catherine was certain that she was going to go bald. Jude's comm unit went out and for thirty six long minutes, all she heard was static. When his voice finally filled her ear with his smooth Arabic, she felt a heavy weight lift off her shoulders. At long last, she heard the eight words she had been waiting for, "Ground to TOC. Target secured. Moving to exfil."

Furiously packing up her gear, she heard the rumble of the chopper as it landed at the base. Everything was a whirlwind. What had once been a tent full of officers, CIA agents, and support personnel, was now an empty shell as everyone hurried to the C-130. "Told you I'd be back to annoy you, Princess." Jude grinned from ear to ear as he shucked off his gear and dropped into the seat beside her. "How was it? Being on your first hot op?"

Catherine chewed on her lip, "It was good." A faint smile trembled at the corner of her mouth. "It was, uh, it was…."

"Where you're supposed to be?"

She thought about his assumption as the SEAL team marched their HVT into the plane and cuffed him to a jump seat. Deciding to circumvent the conversation for now, she asked, "So how was it? Being a translator during a hot op?"

Jude kicked his gear under the seat. "Fun as hell. Feels good to be boots on the ground again."

"How'd those SEALs feel about a Jarhead tagging along?" She glanced down the bay and gave Martinez a nod.

"They're cool with me. Not sure how they feel about the rest of the Corps." The plane shook as the ramp lifted and sealed the back of the cargo hold. Jude settled back into his seat. "You ready for those umbrella drinks, Princess? We gotta get the HVT back to The Salt Pit and then it's you and me on a very long flight to sandy, sunny Hawaii." He grinned as if he were selling timeshares for a luxury condominium.

Catherine groaned, "Going back is a very bad idea. I can feel it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna have to see him. And it's just going to make it that much harder to leave again. And that's if he doesn't tell me to get lost when I show up at the house." She began to pick at her nails again.

He placed a giant hand on top of hers to still her nervous habits. "We've got a couple weeks before we have to be in D.C., so you can either stay in Hawaii the whole time and catch up with your people and pack your stuff, or I can drug McGarrett and hold him hostage for a couple hours so you can pack up and get out without him knowing." Jude's stern face told her he was joking.

Catherine giggled and elbowed him in the ribs, "Stop it. He'd know. No drugging anybody and I'm only allowing you to come because I'm curious about your R and R habits. Remember that."

Jude studied her face with a scrutinizing eye before declaring, "My R and R habits are irrelevant to you because you are strictly off limits, Princess."

"Is that self-imposed or company policy?"

He paused for a beat to contemplate his answer. "A little of both." He stretched his brawny legs as they felt the lift of the engines. Lacing his hands together behind his head, Jude leaned back and closed his eyes, "I'll stay out of your way, but if you need something I'll be around."

"Tell me more about these umbrella drinks and who you're going to be drinking them with."

He let out a hearty chuckle, "Something fruity, frozen, and delicious in an unnatural color. I'm secure in my manhood. And I won't be drinking them with you. Like I said. I don't mix business and pleasure."

"We drank Jack in Qala-i-Mirza." She reasoned.

"Marshall provided it. Totally business."

Catherine grinned and closed her eyes. "Sounds like a double standard if you ask me."

The activity in the plane quieted as the SEALs, agents, and support team settled into their respective areas. The roar of the engines provide a shield of privacy. Jude leaned forward and rested his forearms on his hulking thighs. "Ask me why."

"Hm?"

"Ask me why I don't mix my worlds." He demanded tenderly. There was an air of pain in his words as he grimaced and outed the torment by the flash of the tic in his jaw.

Catherine opened her eyes and studied his face. His square jaw. The faint lines around his eyes that tattled on his age. The blond stubble that faded into the buzzed sides of his head. The barely there scar that started on his forehead and disappeared into his golden waves. "Why?"

He looked down at his hands and chewed on his lip, "Doris probably told you I lost my parents when I was a kid." Catherine nodded and he continued, "I'm an only child. No close relatives, so I got put in foster care. The couple who took me in… they were nice- it, uh, it coulda been a lot worse. But they were in their seventies when they got me. I aged out of the system when I turned eighteen and enlisted in the Marines the next day. A couple months after I finished boot camp, my foster dad passed. My foster mom went pretty quick after that. She passed the year after. The people I served with in the Corps became my family. After I did my time, did a couple tours, and got tuition for law school covered, I got recruited by the agency. Said they had a job waiting for me as soon as I finished my degree. Got that degree, turned my tassel, and packed up for Langley. Now, the agents I work with - we work with - they're my family. They're the only family that I have. I don't mess with that and I sure as hell don't take them for granted."

She reached over and squeezed his hand, "I'm really glad I'm on your team."

"Catherine." He began.

"Oooh, 'Catherine'." She teased, "I must be in trouble. You're using my name."

"Catherine, you're family. I protect my family. So if you need help dealing with things in Hawaii, you know you can call me. No questions asked. And if you need somewhere to dump your stuff until you can get a place on the mainland, you can use my place."

"So you do have a place you call home." She teased, trying to ease the concoction of nerves and grief and guilt.

Jude chuckled, "I can't remember the last time I was there, but yes, I have a place. Cabin in the woods in a little town called Winchester. 'Bout an hour from Langley. It's quiet. Not a bad place to get away to."

She cracked a smile, "Please tell me you wear flannel and grow a beard when you're there and chop wood because I'm for sure gonna be calling you 'lumberjack' from now on."

He laughed and knocked his knee against hers, "Get some sleep, Princess."


"So tell me." Mel dipped her chip in the bowl of salsa before dropping it into her mouth, "How's Steve taking all this? Reading your journals?"

Catherine swirled the ice in her margarita. "Fine, I guess. You know him. He's kinda hard to read."

"Funny." Mel wiped her mouth and pointed at Catherine, "He said the same thing about you." She cleared her throat and did her best Steve impression, "She's just, uh, I dunno, she's quiet about this stuff. You know, sometimes she'll- she'll offer up information and then other times I'll ask her a question and she'll just, she'll blow me off." She punctuated her impression by stroking her imaginary beard, causing Catherine to bust out laughing.

"He does not repeat himself that much." She giggled.

"Point stands." Mel snapped back into her typical stern self. "What's the hang up, Rollins?"

Catherine took a long drink of her margarita and appreciated the burn of the tequila. "How am I supposed to tell him about Jude?"

"Well, he's gonna find out eventually. You gave him the whole damn box of journals that your organized ass just had to number. He'll know if one goes missing, so you better come to terms with the fact that you're gonna have to talk about this with your husband."

She scowled, "I liked this better when you were just mean in your office."

"When was the last time you two got sloppy drunk and spilled your guts to each other?"

A satisfied smile rose on Catherine's mouth as she sipped her drink, "Montana."

"Montana?"

Catherine nodded, "Steve has… We have a place in Montana. When, um… When I got out of the company and came back, we went there for a couple days. He got a case of beer and we asked all the questions we'd been too scared to ask or never had the chance to ask."

"And?"

She thought for a moment, "And it cleared the air."

Mel finished off the basket of chips and flagged down the waiter for another. She turned back to Catherine and said, "Well, considering Montana's a little far, maybe you need to stop by the store on your way home and get a case of beer."


AUTHOR'S NOTE

So! We've had Jude around for a few chapters now. How are we feeling about him? Let me know in the reviews!

In case you're watching the show as you read, we're coming up on 5x25 for Friday's chapter! We'll follow the show into season six until you-know-what happens in 6x03. (Then things get REAL interesting ;)

I love you guys! Y'all are the best! I couldn't write for a better group of readers!

XO,

-Mags-


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