Chapter 56

Sadly, Monday came and Harvey returned to Shelby's classroom where he belonged. Well, Luke tried to be happy since at two o'clock, early Sunday morning, the tiny fur ball decided he was extremely dehydrated and went wild on his water bottle, waking the entire apartment. The solution was to remove the water bottle, but Shelby was afraid Harvey would die if he got thirsty again. So Luke just put a small dish of water in there in case Harvey got thirsty again and returned his water bottle the next morning when everyone was awake. But when he saw how sad his little buddy was to have to take the hamster back to school, he decided to tell her; he was thinking on Shelby's request to have some kind of pet. That perked her up a little, and honestly meant it, too.

What perked her up even more was basketball practice and straight from practice, another town meeting. Though, with her mind freshly in pet mode from the weekend guest, Shelby didn't like what Taylor wanted to do to the birds who were leaving droppings on people's cars. Having brought her toy Nerf gun along, she sneakily fired a dart in the man's direction, getting Taylor in the forehead.

Lorelai noticed it, but instead of scolding her, quietly but quickly helped Shelby hide the evidence by stashing it behind them as Taylor called out for the culprit, very annoyed. Luke saw it as well but pretended not to, trying not to smile, much less laugh. At that point, Miss Patty's current boyfriend walked in and took the attention away.

The topic of birds was dropped, to Shelby's delight, who wanted to shoot another one but that time, Luke stopped her, letting her know once was enough for now. He also reminded her she couldn't do something like that in any other setting besides town meetings that involved Taylor. The topic ended up changed to the town's loner wanting to stage a protest.

When Shelby heard Lorelai call the guy, the town loner, she said, innocently, "I taw Dad was tuh town loner?"

"Nope," Lorelai shook her head. "There's another one." She nudged the little girl with her elbow as a surprised look appeared on her face, as if Shelby was in awe.

Luke sat there, staring at his daughter, holding his arms folded, casually. Looking ahead, he gave her a kick in the leg. Not enough to hurt, but it made Shelby retaliate with a kick to his leg, starting a fun game of Swift Kick as they called it, only half paying attention to what was being said. It was enough for him to point out the Revolutionary War when Taylor tried to say protesting was "un-American" as Shelby kicked him again. Not hard but playfully as she knew better. By that point, looking out of the corner of his eye, Luke pinned her back in her seat, holding a clawed hand to her stomach, tickling it. When Taylor finally dismissed the meeting, Luke let go so he could stand up. Shelby immediately tackled his legs, playfully punching them with her right fist. He reminded her to grab her Nerf gun before Taylor finds it and takes it, turning her around with a hand on top of her head.

"Wha' abou' my dar', Dad?" she asked. "Ta one I sho' a' Taylor?"

At that moment, Babette interrupted them, bringing over Shelby's dart. "Here, sugar."

Shelby took the dart, thanking the older woman.

"You're welcome," Babette smiled for her. "Nice shooting there, Tex."

Shelby smiled proudly before she and Luke caught up with Lorelai and Rory, who were waiting for them.

"Hey, what do you know about this town loner guy?" she asked Luke.

"Same as everyone," he shrugged as they made their way down the steps, "just kind of skulks around with that backpack, never smiles." They started heading in the diner's direction.

"Does he also make cheeseburgers and secretly harbors a desire to wear a backwards baseball cap?"

Luke gave the woman the same stare he gave Shelby, only more irritated, to which Lorelai started singing Luke and the guy were identical cousins, thus causing him to ban Shelby from hanging around Lorelai, yet again. That is until a car drove by, catching their attention.

"Well, look who's back behind the wheel," Lorelai stated sarcastically as they watched Jess drive by. "Lovely."

"Mom, I'm gonna get going," Rory suddenly said, having some studying to do.

"Okay, babe. I'll catch up with you," she replied as Rory started on her way to their house. When she walked away, Lorelai asked Luke, "when did Jess get a car?"

"Oh, uh..." Luke paused in hesitation. Truthfully, he had no idea Jess was planning on buying a car. "Recently," he lied, nodding towards her.

She stared at him. "Where did he get it?"

"Oh, he got it from a guy... Around here at a place." Luke started messing with his earlobe.

"A guy at a place?" she questioned, clearly not buying it as Lorelai told him, "you had no idea, did you?"

"Not in the least," Luke admitted now that he was caught.

They started walking again, crossing the street which Shelby took a hold of Luke's hand as she walked in between the adults.

"Way to have a handle on things, Luke," Lorelai told him.

"Well, he doesn't share much with me, you know?" he said. "And he's got a license. What can I do?"

"Stop him before he kills," she said.

"Jess wouldn' kill anybody," Shelby spoke up in defense of her cousin.

Lorelai just smiled for the kid. "I know, sweetheart. I was just making a joke." She looked away, though, muttered something under her breath. Luke could guess she still wasn't a fan of Jess.

"Look, I'm not exactly thrilled about this," he tried to say.

Lorelai threw her arms halfway up. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'll just butt out for now."

Luke couldn't help wonder out loud where Jess had gotten the money to pay for the car. With how much he pays the kid for helping in the diner, it would take so much longer to save for a car.

"I don't know. Working at the diner?" she shrugged.

"I can barely afford a car working at the diner."

"Ta's because you have to pay a lo' of bills, Dad," Shelby pointed out. The kid had a point there. But even without bills, it should still take longer than a few months.

"Maybe it was a gift from someone who doesn't know it's gone yet," Lorelai added as she stared ahead, in a sarcastic, bitter tone.

It took a minute before Shelby understood what Lorelai meant by that comment. "Jess didn' 'teal i'. He was saving his money for i'." The adults looked at the kid.

"Shell, you knew Jess was getting a car?" Luke asked of her in surprise.

She nodded. "He said one time when we were on tuh bus."

"Did he happen to say where he would get the money to pay for the car?" Lorelai asked. Her tone was nicer while she spoke to Shelby.

Shelby shrugged. "From working in ta diner?" It was clear Jess didn't even tell Shelby. Luke knew the two talked and shared more. This must have not been one of those times.

Stating she had to get going, Lorelai parted ways towards her house to catch up with Rory. Luke and Shelby headed across another street, over to where Jess had parked in front of the diner. When they were close enough, Shelby sprinted the rest of the way, tackling her cousin from behind.

"Scout, watch it. You see me doing something here," he scolded her in a frustrated tone.

She frowned. "I'm sorry, Jess."

"It's cool. Just... Be careful. Alright?"

Shelby nodded. "I sho' Taylor in the forehead." She held up her Nerf gun in her good hand.

Jess smirked. "You did, huh?"

Again, Shelby nodded.

"Nice." Jess finished what he was doing before standing up.

Luke finally spoke up when he had a chance. "So, you got a car."

"Motor Trend's not gonna be giving it any awards, but it'll get me to point A to point B," he replied.

"Yeah, I guess it'll get ya around. So, uh, where'd ya get the money for it?" He came right out with it.

Jess made his way around the car. "Mugged an old lady."

Shelby followed her cousin. "You did?" she asked, thinking Jess had actually done it.

"He's being a smartass, Shell," Luke explained to her, heading around the other side of the car.

"Oh."

"It didn't cost that much," Jess admitted.

"What's 'not much?'"

He pretended to think on it, glancing up at the night sky. "Less than a lot."

"Jess," Luke sighed, trying to keep his patience, "where did you get the money?"

Jess made his way around to the trunk, turning around to face it. "You know that hash you sling at the diner? I scrape off the plates in the back. You remember I work for ya?"

Luke leaned his knuckles on the edge of the car, looking over at the thing. "Yeah, I know you do."

Opening the trunk, he muttered out loud, "Okay then."

"I also know I don't pay you enough to buy the car," Luke told him, making his way behind Jess, to the other side.

Jess looked over at him to inform him, "I saved up my pennies and bought the car from Gypsy's. She gave me a good deal. That's how I got the car."

"So you bought a car. Now, the price of the car is just one small thing. It's just the beginning." Luke wandered around him to step onto the sidewalk.

"Oh, yeah?" he said mockingly, turning around to look directly at his uncle.

"Did you take the additional expenses into account?"

"Like?" he shrugged, shaking his head.

"Insurance?"

Jess folded his arms in front of him. "I'm in good hands."

"Liability, uninsured motorist?"

Pointing back behind him, Jess stated, "All the paperwork's in the glove compartment. Feel free to check it out."

"Money for gas?"

Being a smartass again, Jess stood up from where he had leaned against his car to point at it. "You mean this didn't come with a never-emptying magical tank?"

"Jess," Luke warned.

He scoffed, walking away. "I factored that in."

Luke followed him. "You're gonna have repairs," he pointed out.

Shelby was leaning against the car to look inside the front passenger window as the guys came over. All the windows were down.

"I can fix most of them myself and save for the rest."

Shelby looked over to where Jess had stopped walking. "I can help. Dad taugh' me."

"If you don't mind getting dirty, sure," he said.

"Nope," she shook her head. "I don' mind."

He then added towards Luke, "Plus, I'm gonna make sure to replace the oil every couple months."

"Right. I bet you didn't think of that; the oil. That could cost money."

"I'm the one that brought it up. You're the one that didn't think of it." Jess gave Shelby a quick whistle, having her move so he could reach in there.

Luke tried to object to not bringing up the oil but only stuttered, reluctantly admitting defeat. Jess grabbed his book off the front seat before heading inside the diner which Shelby hurried after him. They both left Luke standing there, still with unanswered questions in his head.

Later that week, one morning, Jess got up earlier than usual, grabbing a coffee and donut to go.

"Ready, Scout?" he asked of Shelby, who was finishing her French toast and ham with syrup on both. Something the kid liked but Luke found strange to pour syrup on ham.

"You taking your cousin to school this morning?" Luke asked.

"No, I thought we play hookie and drive down to Vegas," Jess replied, sarcastically.

"Jess," he warned.

"Relax. Yes, I'm taking Scout to school."

"That car has seat belts, right?" Luke pointed out.

"Yes, I made sure there were seat belts with Scout in mind." That still didn't put Luke's mind at ease. But then again, he knew how protective Jess was of his cousin. If he said he had Shelby in mind, then Luke had to believe him.

Shelby slid down from the stool she was sitting on, already wearing her backpack.

Luke came around the counter to hug and kiss his little buddy, good-bye.

On the way out, Jess turned on his heel to add one last thing. "I owe you ten bucks."

"When did I loan you ten bucks?" Luke questioned, having followed him to the door.

"Last night."

"I wasn't here last night. Remember, Shelby still has practice," he reminded him.

"You're always here, Uncle Luke. In my heart," Jess told him mockingly, and smirked.

Realization sunk in. "You took money out of the register."

"I'm going to the bank as soon as I drop Scout off. You'll get it back today," he assured him.

"I told you a hundred times," Luke reminded him, now holding up his hands towards Jess, "do not take money out of the register."

Jess just smirked as he said he had to run. He turned towards the door, which Shelby opened for him since his hands were full. Luke tried one more time to remind Jess to replace the lid he had taken off the donuts, but the request fell on deaf ears.

Later that day, once Luke had some downtime, he made a trip over to Gypsy's.

He still had questions where Jess got the money to afford the car, so he started where the car had come from. Though, Gypsy wasn't much help either since she never asks where customers get the money they used to pay her. So, Luke just decided to do a little snooping, hoping to find anything that could be a clue. Though the guy was so nervous about being caught, he nearly jumped out of his skin when the phone rang. Even searching through Jess' drawers and his side of the closet, along with the top drawer of their nightstand, Luke came up empty. Nothing that would explain anything. He tried getting Shelby to say anything more, but she really didn't know much. Though, for some reason, it took Jess a couple days to realize someone had been going through his stuff.

Luke brought dinner up Sunday night. That was when Jess confronted him.

"Why are you going through my stuff?"

Luke tried to play dumb. "Huh?" he asked.

"Why are you going through all of my stuff?"

He reached across the table to set Shelby's dinner on her side of the table. "I'm not."

"So someone else is?" Jess questioned, holding his hands part way up. "Because I know Scout isn't."

"Younger siblings go through their older siblings' things. Your mom used to go through mine when we were kids."

Shelby shook her head, sitting on one leg across from her dad. "Ta's no' nice. I wouldn' touch people's tings wi'ou' tear permission."

"Not to mention Scout's nothing like Liz," Jess added. "I know you're the one going through my stuff. Practically everything I own is in a slightly different place than when I saw it last. Now, why are you going through my stuff?"

Luke had gotten up to grab forks for the three of them. He turned back to say, "For your own good."

"For my own good?" scoffed Jess. "Can we be a little more totalitarian here?"

"Hey, how about I ask the questions," Luke pointed out.

Jess folded his arms. "If it has to do with this, be my guest."

"Where you get the money for the car?"

"What?"

"The car. Where'd ya get the money?"

"I told you, I worked for it."

"I know what I pay you," Luke stated, not buying the answer at all.

"Okay, well," Jess stuttered, hesitating, "I do jobs around town."

"What jobs?"

"I clean rain gutters."

Luke still wasn't buying it. "Jess, even if you cleaned every rain gutter from here to Vermont, you wouldn't have enough money to buy that car. Now tell me where you got the money."

"I'm not just doing rain gutters when I'm not just working at the diner," he said, walking back over to the dresser.

Luke followed. "What are you doing?"

Jess started putting things away in a small chest he had on top of the dresser, stopping to glance over his shoulder. "I go to, uh, a place that gives me money."

"For what?"

He had turned forward again. Jess briefly lifted his head to stare at nothing. "For my services."

"What services? What place?" There was a long, awkward pause. Suddenly, a horrible thought crossed Luke's mind. Quickly, he told Shelby to cover her ears before asking Jess, "Are you a gigolo?"

Jess suddenly turned on his heel to stare at his uncle. "What?" he questioned in disbelief.

"Well, I don't know," Luke shrugged it off. "You say you go to a place where they give ya money..."

"I do."

"Where?"

Jess briefly paused before he finally admitted, "Wal-mart."

Luke went silent, staring at his nephew. "Excuse me?"

"I've been working there twelve hours a week for the past few months to get extra money for the car."

"Wal-mart," he repeated, the shock still hadn't blown over.

"Yeah."

Luke questioned, "You work at Wal-mart?"

"Yeah," Jess repeated.

"I cannot picture you working at Wal-mart."

Going into his pockets, Jess pulled out a work badge, holding it up to show him.

Luke couldn't help laugh when he saw it. "Oh my God," he chuckled. "You work at Wal-mart."

Staring at his uncle, Jess made his way around him, back towards the table where Shelby was hunched over, her fingers still in her ears which he motioned she could remove them, asking for Luke to drop the matter now that he knew.

"Yeah, sure. Fine." Luke had followed him. But he didn't drop it. Instead, Luke asked, "you're not the guy who greets people at the door, are ya?"

"We were dropping this," Jess reminded him. "I work in the back. I move stock around on a forklift."

Luke went over to the fridge, grabbing a couple kiwi-strawberry sodas for Jess and Shelby, and a beer for him. "That takes a special licence," he pointed out before setting the sodas on the table between the cousins. He opened Shelby's for her and returned to his own seat.

"I spent a Saturday afternoon taking the class, and I got it like that. No biggie."

"Wow," Luke couldn't help grin from ear to ear.

"Are we done here?" Jess questioned in annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah," he lied. "You wear a vest and everything?" Now that Luke knew where his nephew worked, the questions and teasing just couldn't stop.

Jess had started eating. "It's the uniform. I have to."

"You've been sneaking out with a little vest hidden on ya?"

"It's not a little vest," he corrected him, opening the plastic container with his apple pie slice, letting the lid drop on the table with a slight clang.

"Is it blue?"

Jess quickly stared at his uncle. "Will you stop talking about the vest?"

"You get a store discount?" Luke continued.

He nodded. "Fifteen percent."

Luke couldn't help keep laughing about it. This was gold.

"And if you want fifteen percent off anything, you're not gonna get it because you're being a jerk."

"My enjoyment is worth the loss," he laughed, grabbing the ketchup from the fridge.

"I'm eating and ignoring you," Jess stated, his mouth full of food.

"Jess," Shelby interrupted, politely. Jess gladly acknowledged the kid to ignore his uncle. "Can I have fi'teen percen' off any-ting?"

"You bet, kid," Jess told her. "If there's a game you want, let me know and I'll see if we have it. We sell your cards, too. I can bring you back a pack."

Shelby smiled at that. "Tank you, Jess."

"You got it." He playfully punched her arm.

Luke wasn't finished with his teasing. "Oh, you're like the all-American boy." Luke nodded his head, repeatedly.

"Call me Dirk Squarejaw," he replied with sarcasm without looking at him.

Luke continued. "Look at you."

"What?"

"Eating apple pie." He laughed.

Fed up, Jess got up from his seat, heading for the exit as he stated, "I'm outta here."

"Hey, wave a flag and sing God Bless America, please."

Jess grabbed his jacket and left.

Luke chuckled to himself. That was when he noticed the look Shelby was giving him, and she wasn't laughing either. "What?" he said with one final chuckle.

"You're mean, Dad," she stated. "Jess is righ'. You are being a jerk."

"What? I was just having some fun with him," Luke told her.

Shelby didn't let up. "'Till wasn' very nice," she said, shaking her head.

Though, Luke's enjoyment was only added when Jess found out someone had devil egged his car the very next morning. Luke and Shelby had decided to check out the town loner's protest to see what he was protesting. The sign ended up being turned the wrong way and ripped when the guy tried turning it around. When they were trying to figure out what the guy was saying, Shelby guessed he was trying to imitate a rooster. Possibly someone's pet was annoying him which Taylor pointed out nobody in town owned a rooster. During that time, Jess called for Luke. Shelby followed when he made his way over.

"You see this?" Jess asked, upset someone egged his car.

Luke shrugged, "See what? What happened?"

"Someone egged my car."

Luke moved his head closer to get a better look but had to flinch back, waving his hand through the air once he got a good whiff. "Geez, it stinks."

"It's gonna take me forever to clean this up."

"I'll help you, Jess," Shelby offered.

Jess playfully hit her against her arm above the cast. "Thanks, Scout."

Luke braved the smell to examine the splattered eggs. "These eggs are cooked," he realized.

"What?"

"They're not raw. They look like... Deviled eggs."

"Someone devil egged my car."

"Well, that is paprika," said Luke.

"Someone prepared deviled eggs to throw at my car?" he questioned in disbelief.

Luke chuckled at it. "Man, they must hate you a lot. Hey, maybe it was the guy in the garden department."

Jess just glared at him. "I'm gonna go get something to clean this up. Come on, Scout." He cupped a hand around the back of Shelby's head, leading her towards the diner.

Luke followed, continuing his jokes.

Grabbing a bucket of hot, soapy water and a couple rags, the cousins got to work on scrubbing the deviled eggs off Jess' car. But not before Shelby gave her dad another swift, playful kick for as hard as he allowed her to without getting into trouble, for picking on Jess.

Though, Luke also had to wonder: who would prepare deviled eggs to throw at someone's car? Is that the new thing instead of using raw eggs?