The Force's Shepherds
Chapter 146
Meditations of Sages and Students
Robin was sick and tired of lifting rocks, even if he was using the force to do so. Sweat soaked his brow and shirt as he stood on his hands, balancing precariously on Dagobah's muddy ground. His torn and tattered coat, a precious possession he refused to give up despite its sorry state, was wrapped around his waist. Mud and moss-covered his pants and his elbows due to the many times he had already fallen over attempting this strange exercise.
He never considered himself the most physically gifted on the Shepherds, certainly not the most athletic. He always gave those distinctions to Chrom, Vaike, Frederick, Sully, even Ben; warriors who were masters of their bodies. Robin was not a warrior; he was a mage, and he was comfortable with that fact.
It was for that exact reason that he did not sharpen his body as much as he sharpened his mind back in Ylisstol. As the Shepherd's tactician, his job wasn't to be the greatest warrior, but to be the best strategist he could possibly be in order to guarantee victory and the survival of his friends. Oftentimes, it worked. Then there were the times where his strategies failed; where they imploded and caused devastation that he was cursed to relive over and over in his mind.
Gods…
It all ran through his mind again. His failure to form a strategy capable of saving Exalt Emmeryn. His failure to save Ricken because he let himself be knocked out of that fight. His failure to save Gregor, Stahl, Miriel, all of the poor souls killed at Charlet on that bleak day. All of that death, all of that suffering sat on his shoulders.
What could I have done differently? What could I have changed? What could I have-
His mind strained. The weight of the trio of rocks floating around him grew to an overwhelming amount. Robin's eyes snapped open. A gasp shot from his lungs as his arms wobbled.
"Concentrate," Yoda commanded, the little green alien perched on a nearby log.
Robin forced his eyes shut again, but the strain quickly became too much. His entire body sagged, and his arms gave out.
He lay on his back for a moment, lungs gasping for air. As he lay there, he heard the tell-tale soft tap of Yoda's cane moving towards him, along with the soft shuffle of Yoda's small feet moving atop the swampy ground. When Robin opened his eyes again, he saw the Jedi Master looking down on him.
"Too much." Robin gasped, "Way too much."
Naga, it feels like my arms are vibrating.
A frown formed on Yoda's green lips, "Up."
Robin raised his brow, "Can't I just… just lay here a moment?"
Instead of replying, Yoda jabbed Robin's side with his cane. For such a diminutive creature, he could actually put a lot of force behind that small stick of his.
"Alright, alright!" Robin exclaimed, quickly pulling himself upright, then pushing himself back up to his feet, "What now? Back to what we were doing?"
Yoda's long frown remained as he rested both his hands atop his cane, "Concentrating, you were not."
Robin rolled his eyes, "Of course I was trying to concentrate."
"Oh!" Yoda's head bobbed, "Trying. Yes… trying. The problem for you is that: trying." He pointed a stubby finger at Robin, "Do… or do not. There is no try."
Robin did his best to bury his frustration. He had heard that mantra spoken to him many times at this point, and no matter what he tried he couldn't satisfy Yoda's definition of 'do'.
"How can I 'do' if I do not try?" Robin finally retorted.
Yoda's bulbous eyes narrowed, "If you do, then you are not trying. Doing, you are. However, cannot do, if mind is not doing first. Your thoughts are not focused. Stray, they do, from the task given."
Robin uttered a heavy sigh. Yoda had a point, and he really did not want to admit it. Every time he attempted to life stones with the force, every time he attempted to enter the trance-like state Yoda described to him when he did this exercise for the first time, his mind wandered to his past. To failures that haunted every waking moment along with every terrible nightmare.
Yoda moved to take a seat on the nearby rotting log once more. As he sat, he let out a content sigh, then gestured for Robin to join him. Robin furrowed his brow, puzzled, but still moved to sit beside the small Jedi Master.
"Eyes," Yoda began, "Close them."
Robin frowned, "I had them closed when-"
"Close them." Yoda harrumphed.
Robin drew in a deep breath and reluctantly did as he was told.
"Deep breaths," Yoda ordered, and Robin followed. "Yes, deep. In… out. The Force thrives in calm, in focus. Centered, you must be. Balanced and controlled, yes. Not just your body, but your mind too."
Robin wanted to retort since he got the impression that Yoda was calling him a scatterbrain. Such a description is what caused Gaius to nickname him "Bubbles" in a time that felt so long ago now. Back when the only worries he had were helping Ben find Luke. Back when his life was an adventure and not a tragedy filled with failures and sorrow. Back before he died and wished he had died.
Yoda hummed beside him, "Controlled, your mind is not. Empty it, you must. Let the force flow through you. Let it soothe you."
Robin's brow furrowed as sweat beaded down from his brow.
Let the Force flow through you. Let the Force soothe you. To Robin, it almost sounded similar to how Ben described resting in the Force during meditation. Perhaps that is what Master Yoda was trying to get him to do?
He drew upon the lessons Ben gave him during their long journeys throughout Archanea and Valm. Deep breathes filtered in and out of his lungs. As the musty air of Dagobah filled him, he felt his heartbeat begin to slow. Sweat continued to drip down his brow. He could feel each and every bead of it running along his skin, running icy trails along the bridge of his nose, along his eyebrows before cascading down his cheeks, then all of them coalescing together in order to fall from his chin.
The sounds of Dagobah grew clearer. He could hear the many birds and reptiles that called this swampy world home slithering and chirping around him. Could sense the rustling of branches above him. Could feel nearby moss compressing beneath the soft footfalls of a tiny lizard scuttling along the ground towards the nearby pit. Could detect the water from the nearby pond rippled as whatever creature that lurked in its murky depths swirled through the darkness. Insects clambered atop soggy leaves, leaving hardly a sound as they scrambled upon the moss and muck.
He heard Yoda tell him to concentrate once again, but he sounded distant this time. As if the Jedi Master was nothing more than an echo, a whisper on the stale air.
There was something pulsing with Robin; he could feel it. A power; untapped and dark. Robin could feel himself circling it within him. An orb of darkness that swirled and pulsed with energy ready to explode out of him with great wrath. At this point, he knew that power well for Tiki revealed it to him during the Valm campaign.
Grima's Fell Power, it was still within him. It was still bubbling just beneath the surface. Biding its time until it could consume his mind and render him nothing but a puppet for the Fell Dragon to use. A tool to wipe out his friends, to wipe out everything he cared about.
Robin's muscles tensed at the thought, and for a brief moment, the muffled sounds of Yoda's advice became clear. The sensations filtering into his mind grew dull, and he feared he was missing something. He feared he was about to lose his grip on a thread, a breakthrough. Through that fear, Robin grit his teeth. He could see a phantom thread of sorts lingering within him, and he thought that was what he was losing his grip on.
With brute force, he grabbed that thread in the force. A sharp gasp shot into Robin's lungs as a burning sensation, not from fire but from something beyond cold, grasped his mind. A snarl echoed in his thoughts, mixed with the rumble of a deadly leviathan waiting to awake from its slumber.
Was he about to fail again? Was he trying instead of doing? No! Robin's jaw clenched tight and he grasped the thread tighter, willing it to obey him. Demanding that it follow what he desired.
For a brief moment, the thread obeyed, and he felt tranquility unlike any he had felt before. A serenity flowed through him which he had not felt since the days after the Plegian War. In that serenity, Robin relaxed, his guard lowered.
Teeth gnashed in his mind. Robin's breath hitched, and the cold snapped back harsher than ever.
Images flooded his mind, and a piercing wail echoed through the force. All of his senses shut down, save for his mind's eye.
He saw Ylisstol… burning. Soldiers in white armor swept through the city, slaughtering anyone who dared to resist their march. Powerful explosions rocked the cobblestone streets, and buildings collapsed all around him. All the while, his heart hammered in his chest.
His vision jerked away from the general populace of Ylisstol, who were helpless against the slaughter. It dragged Robin to the royal palace, where another battle was taking place. Glass shattered from Chrom and Sumia's window. Standing in the shattered remains of the window, looking out on the destruction of the city, was a blue-skinned man in a gray uniform. Pupil less red eyes gazed out on the inferno consuming Ylisstol with a gaze that betrayed only a hint of regret but was mostly filled with indifference.
Suddenly, the familiar halls of the Exalt's Palace rushed by him. Tapestries on the wall, ones that he had gazed on with fascination many times, became nothing but blurs of dull color and shadows. The brilliant inferno within the city cast long chasms of darkness throughout the interior of the palace, with the shadows at their strongest in the throne room.
Red lightsabers clashed. Harsh breathing, like someone trying to suck in as much as they could through a narrow reed, echoed in his mind. Through the force, Robin sensed Dooku there… then gone; consumed by a far greater darkness, a far greater evil, that prowled Robin's home.
Lidless eyes glared at him, looking like black mirrors. Fire danced within them, and the glow of a red lightsaber illuminated a slow march out of the city towards a strange winged craft. As the craft took off, within those glossy, ink mirrors, Robin saw green fire cascade down on Ylisstol with all of the fury of a million Thorons.
The Force screamed. Lives cried out in terror, then went silent. Robin's eyes snapped out as a loud cry was wrenched from his throat. A cry of anguish that reverberated through Dagobah's heavy air.
All of the stones in the small training clearing Yoda had set up shot from the ground, swirling around the fringes of the muddy area like a small cyclone. Large clods of dirt joined the churning winds. Insects scurried away from the area as quickly as they could. Snakes and lizards scrambled for their burrows deep beneath the mud. And Yoda stood still beside a now shattered log, his green eyes narrowed on Robin as the dark side howled with pain.
Briefly, Robin saw the diminutive creature move towards him; faster than he thought Yoda was even capable of moving. The beast within Robin snarled, and its anger at Yoda was made manifest as a growl rumbled from Robin's lungs. Yet, Yoda was undeterred. The Jedi Grandmaster hopped up to Robin's eye level and pressed a lone finger to Robin's forehead.
Light pierced the darkness with his mind like the mightiest of lances. The monster within Robin recoiled, then slithered back to its bindings, burned by the brightness now permeating the force. As it retreated, the power coursing through Robin flickered. The stones, dirt, and flecks of rotting wood fluttered back down to the ground. All of Robin's strength fled his muscles, causing him to flop to his face in the mud.
Before his consciousness left him, Robin spotted Yoda pick up his cane and shuffle towards him. Darkness invaded the fringes of his vision. As exhaustion consumed him, Robin felt his body lift into the air.
Finally, he fell asleep.
Yoda grasped the small, gnarled thing he called a spoon and stirred his dinner as it bubbled over the small fire in his hut. Thin wisps of steam swirled up from the bubbling brown broth, bringing a pleasant scent to his nose. Even in old age, and even in the state he lived in, Yoda did enjoy some small comforts, such as a good, simple dinner.
Stew was his preferred meal, mostly because stew was the easiest thing to cook with the resources he had around him. There was plenty of water to filter, boil, filter again to clear out what mud was left, then boil once more before adding whatever lizard or roots he had managed to find earlier in the day. A modest meal. Certainly not one that was overwhelming in flavors. Perhaps it would have been considered bland back in the Jedi Temple.
But it was enough, and Yoda was fine with enough. Enough was simple, and simple allowed him time to think. He needed these quiet moments to ponder what had occurred, now more than ever.
His large, green eyes turned to Robin. The young man lay on his back in the makeshift cot the pair had fashioned a couple of days after the cave spat him out. A long scowl formed on Yoda's aged face, and he turned back to nursing his stew.
Before Robin's arrival, Yoda had spent his days meditating. No, not meditating. That was only a half-truth. Wallowing filled the other half of his days. As much as he wanted to move on from the tragedy that befell the latter days of his long life, Yoda found himself incapable of forgetting the atrocities the Jedi Order was subjected to. The pain from the Clone Wars, from Order 66, and from his failures to stop all of it, sat heavily within his heart.
But with the arrival of Robin, Yoda's days were no longer solely focused on ruminating on his failures. Robin's arrival was unexpected and unwelcome. Yet, Qui Gon himself intervened and told Yoda to take the boy under his wing. To guide him, and to teach him. Both were tasks that Yoda wanted nothing to do with, especially when it came to someone like Robin.
Sure, the boy seemed like a decent human. Robin was, for the most part, respectful to Yoda so long as his frustrations did not slip from lips. That was probably the part that made Yoda the wariest of Robin, at first. He could feel the anger and frustration thick within the white-haired boy. At first, he attributed those feelings to be a result of the boy's lack of training, lack of discipline, lack of everything a force adept needed to resist the temptations of the dark side. However, after today's little display, he was beginning to realize that the boy's situation was much more complicated than that.
A heavy sigh left his lips as bubbles formed in his stew. Dinner was ready to be served. Yoda reached for two bowls, set them next to his little pot, then scooped two ladles worth of stew into each. The thick aroma hit his nose again, and a mildly content sigh left Yoda's lips.
The smell of the stew must've been pleasing to Robin's senses as well because he finally stirred from whatever had knocked him unconscious earlier. A long groan came from Robin, and he carefully sat up in his bunk.
Yoda shuffled across the tent with both bowls, setting one down by Robin's side, before hopping up into his own little bed across from Robin. He scooped a small bit to his mouth, sipped on the piping hot broth, then set his spoon back down in his bowl. Through the force, he could feel a new sensation radiating from Robin.
Terror.
Yoda flicked his eyes up from his bowl and saw Robin sitting rigid in his bed, the bowl of stew untouched by his side. He remained that way for a moment, before letting out a ragged, pain gasped and sagging in his seat. Robin's head fell to his hands, and Yoda noticed tears running from his eyes.
A heavy sigh left Yoda's lips, "Afraid, are you?"
Robin sniffed hard, wiped his nose with the back of his hand, and did his best to hide the tears running down his face. But no matter how hard he tried, the tear stains glistened in the warm glow of Yoda's fire.
Robin nodded, and Yoda closed his eyes.
"The Force, reveal to you something, it did?"
Robin sniffled again, and nodded. Yoda hummed.
"Premonition, was it? Or something long passed?"
"I-" Robin's voice cracked, forcing him to clear his throat, "I don't know." He swiped his hands over his eyes again, trying his best to fight off the tears, but to no avail, "I know Ben warned me about visions and-and whatever they show, but this… what I saw. It felt so- so real. It felt like I was there. Like I was witnessing all of it."
Yoda's wrinkled brow furrowed, "Witnessing what, were you?"
Robin swallowed hard, "I-" He took a shallow breath, "My home… gone. Destroyed by people that I did not recognize. Um- they- uh, soldiers in white armor." Yoda's ears twitched as Robin spoke, "And the dark side was so strong, so all-consuming as my home was destroyed. Naga, people were being butchered!"
Fierce anger intermingled with the terror Yoda felt inside of Robin, causing the Jedi Master's gaze to harden.
"Careful you must be, Robin." Yoda admonished, even as Robin let his head fall to his hands again, "Visions, tricks they can be. Tricks that can-"
"This was not a trick!" Robin roared, whipping his eyes up to meet Yoda's. Within his red eyes, Yoda swore he saw a faint hint of corrupted yellow flicker.
A faint pulse resonated in the force, and the dark side that infested Dagobah to its very core growled with pleasure. Harsh gasps rushed in and out of Robin's lungs.
Back at the Jedi Temple, during the days of the Republic and the Jedi's power, Yoda would likely have scolded Robin. He likely would have repeated some sort of mantra taught to him by his master, and his master before him. Even more likely, he would've once again advised Robin to not put so much worry into a vision. If the vision was a premonition, then it was a vision of the future, and therefore not certain. If it was the past, then it was the past. But a vision of the past would not have caused such a visceral reaction from Robin, since he would have already known about it.
Yoda recalled taking a similar approach with another volatile student. An approach that ultimately helped lead to Skywalker's fall. The Force brought Robin to him. Qui Gon had been clear with Yoda about that. So, Yoda knew that he could not allow the same ideology that failed Skywalker to fail Robin as well. He needed to use a different approach. Perhaps he needed to learn more about Robin, and about what distressed him so much?
"Afraid, you are." Yoda muttered as Robin silently wept in front of him, "Yes… afraid. For who?"
"For who!?" Robin cried, letting his hands fall from his tear-stained face, "All of my friends lived in Ylisstol! Everyone I considered family lived there. And now they're- they-"
Yoda raised a hand, silencing Robin.
"Breathe.
Robin narrowed his eyes, "How can I-"
"Breathe," Yoda said once more, his eyes closing as he allowed the force to flow freely through him.
Robin drew in a ragged breath, then slowly exhaled. The next breath he took was steadier, slower. Yoda nodded, sensing Robin's wildly fluctuating signature in the force beginning to calm.
"Feel the Force." Yoda said, his voice calm in the quiet hut, "Let it wash over you. Let it flow through you. Do not grasp for it. Do not force it to obey you. Let its currents carry you."
Another deep breath came from Robin. His force signature grew calmer, but the intense fear Yoda sensed within him remained. For a split second, Yoda cracked an eye open and was pleased to see Robin making an attempt to mediate with him.
"Breathe," Yoda repeated again.
Robin inhaled a deep breath, then exhaled. As he did so, Yoda stretched out with the Force and gently brushed against Robin's mind. Unlike before, when he shocked the darkness within Robin with an overwhelming barrage of light, he simply let his presence sit beside Robin's tumultuous one.
"The Force," Yoda continued, "Connect all life, it does. Alive, it is. It's energy, you can feel. Through it, feel others you can. But, concentrate, you must." Yoda drew in a deep breath, along with Robin, "Breathe, and feel the flow of the Force. Listen to it."
He said nothing after that, simply choosing to allow Robin to fall into a meditative state with him. To Yoda's pleasure, Robin's presence evened out, and the force flowed without any violence or tumult. In that moment, Yoda detected the sheer enormity of the power the resided with Robin. He had such potential in the Force. And despite this obvious potential and power, Yoda was still puzzled by Robin. How could a man steeped in the dark side of the force be so obviously good?
Further investigation, this needs. Yoda thought, But… better saved for another time, that is.
Yoda let out a long exhale and opened his eyes. At the same time, Robin exhaled and opened his eyes. Tears still stained Robin's cheeks, but the color had returned to his cheeks. The burning anger and terror in his eyes had ebbed away, replaced by simmering fear that was having its fuel stolen from it.
"Sense anything, did you?" Yoda asked.
Robin massaged the back of his neck, "I-I'm not sure. Everything was still so foggy. There was still so much darkness. But, I did sense something." His brow furrowed as he wracked his brain, "I sensed… I sensed Ben. I know I sensed him. He's alive! That must mean he's alive!"
Yoda inclined his chin. Whoever this Ben was must have quite the presence in the force. Either that, or Robin was that attuned to the currents of the Force. Far more attuned than Yoda previously assumed.
"If he's alive, then others must be too." Robin rose to his feet, but stayed hunched over so that he didn't bash his head against the hut's roof, "There is hope then. I mean, you and Qui-Gon say I've got power in the force, but I'm nothing compared to Ben." Robin paused and rubbed his chin, "Maybe that's because he's had a lifetime of training though?"
Yoda raised a hand, drawing Robin's attention, "This Ben, friend of yours?"
Robin nodded, "Well, of course. We've had our ups and downs, but he is absolutely my friend. Hell, I would even say that if it wasn't for a stupid mistake on both of our parts, we would've been like brothers." Robin snorted, "Imagine that, the only other Jedi Master I know and I'm friends with him."
Yoda blinked, "Jedi Master?"
Robin gave Yoda a puzzled look, "I haven't told you? Ben knows you."
Yoda frowned, "I don't know a Ben."
"You don't know a Ben Kenobi?"
Something shot through Yoda's heart at that moment. Kenobi, he knew that name and he knew it very well. But he needed to be sure that Robin was talking about the same person he knew.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi, do you mean?" Yoda asked.
Robin blinked, "Well, I guess that is his actual name, but I've been calling him Ben for a long time."
Yoda's eyes widened a little bit. Obi-Wan Kenobi was alive? How was that possible? Yoda sensed his signature in the force go silent when the Tantive IV had been attacked in the aftermath of Order 66. He sensed both Obi-Wan's and young Luke's life forces evaporate into nothing. What manner of trick, or miracle, was this?
Yoda hummed to himself. He would certainly have to investigate this matter further. Deep meditation in the force would be needed. Perhaps then, the answers would reveal themselves. For now though, Qui-Gon had tasked Yoda with guiding Robin. That is where the focus needed to remain.
"Interesting, that is." Yoda muttered, "Much meditation, I will need, in order to solve this puzzle. Worry not about it, you should." He inhaled deep, and exhaled, "The vision you had, believe it to be true?"
Robin's face fell, "Yeah."
"Do anything about it, can you?"
A flash of anger shot across Robin's face, "Do anything? I-" His words caught in his throat and his eyes darted around the room, "Damn it, I can't. I can't do anything. I'm stuck here while my friends, my home, are dying."
"Oh? So certain you are, that they are dying." Yoda replied.
"How can I not be certain if that vision is true?" Robin retorted as he slumped back down onto his cot. He wrung his hands in his lap and glared across the small hut at Yoda, "I saw Ylisstol burn to ash. I saw… saw some sort of monster attack my friends. It's hard to even describe. What I do know is that the Dark Side of the Force was strong throughout the vision."
Yoda nodded, "Sensed that as well, I did. The dark side resided within you. Corrupt you, it has not. Deceive you though, it still can, so that you can be corrupted. Sense your friend Ben, alive, yes?"
Robin nodded.
"Then not all is lost." Yoda continued, "If one friend is alive, more there can be, yes? Assume, you should not. Meditate on these things, you should."
Robin sagged in his seat, head bowed before he finally nodded.
"Now," Yoda gestured at Robin's bowl, "Eat. Strength, you need. More rocks need lifting."
An exasperated sound left Robin's lips. Nevertheless, he grabbed the bowl of stew and began to eat. As he munched on the broth filled with roots and stringy scraps of meat, Robin's brow furrowed. It was a common expression Yoda had seen from the young man, and it usually meant he was deep in thought about something.
"Master Yoda," Robin began, "why can't I lift the rocks?"
Yoda brought a spoonful of stew to his lips, "Concentrating, you are not."
Robin shook his head, "Except I feel like I am concentrating."
"Do you?" Yoda replied, setting his spoon back down after taking another bite of his dinner, "Is your mind focused on the task at hand? Or is it far away? Focused on something else, is it?"
Robin opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. He swirled his spoon through his bowl of stew, lips pursed as the truth behind Yoda's words hit him.
"I suppose I'm not."
Yoda nodded, "That is why you cannot lift the rocks."
"How do I move past whatever it is that is keeping me from doing it then?"
Yoda finished off his bowl of stew then set it to the side, "For you to discover, that is. Advice I will give, but only when it is needed" Discouragement passed over Robin, and Yoda let out a low sigh, "Mistakes, only way to learn it is. One must be a fool before one can be a master."
Robin quirked an eyebrow, "So I'm a fool?"
"Oh?" Yoda let out a quiet chuckle that caught him off guard. It has been a long time since a student's sharp reply caused him any amusement. Then again, he hasn't had any students in five years, "A fool, are you? Perhaps yes. Perhaps not anymore. How you proceed will determine if you will become a master, or not." Once again, Yoda pointed a stubby, green finger at Robin's bowl, "Eat, then rest. Strength you will need, for tomorrow."
Robin uttered a sigh but said nothing in reply; resigned to learning more tomorrow. In Yoda's opinion, that was for the better. Many things had happened just today, most of which Yoda also had a hard time parsing through. Robin's outburst of power had been alarming, and it coincided with a great shriek in the Force the likes of which Yoda had not sensed since the end of the Clone Wars.
Were these events related? In Yoda's experience, there was no such thing as coincidences, especially when it came to the force and its will. Something terrible had happened far away in the galaxy, and Robin was able to sense far more of it than Yoda could. While Yoda sensed the residual aftershocks, Robin saw the terrible events taking place. In that moment, when he saw those things, Robin's mind had been so focused that he lifted nearly every speck of dirt and stray rock in the training area outside of his hut. He had been in tune with the Force, but not with any aspect of it that Yoda was familiar with.
Robin knew the Dark Side, and he knew it well, whether he was aware of it or not. No one could tap into the Dark's power the way Robin did without having great knowledge buried within their mind about it. Why the Force deemed Yoda the appropriate teacher for someone like Robin was a question beyond Yoda's understanding. If anything, he felt completely unprepared for such a difficult student.
Yoda shuffled away from the cots, taking his bowl with him to a small cleaning station he had set up in his hut. As he set the bowl in it, he closed his eyes.
Unprepared I am, for this.
"Aren't all masters unprepared for their most challenging students?"
A long frown formed on Yoda's face, How to help Robin, I do not know, Qui Gon.
"Are you assuming that he is not here to help you as well?"
Yoda's long ears twitched. That was a possibility he had not considered. Did the Force bring Robin to him not only for him to teach Robin, but perhaps for him to help Yoda in some way? After living for almost nine hundred years, Yoda had his doubts that anyone could help him much. Then again, that kind of mindset did little to help him in recent years. His belief in his own knowledge, in his own abilities, in his steadfast faith in the Force, had caused him to be blind to other aspects of the Force. That blindness led to the rise of the Sidious and the Empire, and it led to the fall and destruction of the Jedi Order Yoda loved.
Meditate, I must. He shuffled to his cot, sat down, and closed his eyes, Yes, meditate.
With a long exhale, he dipped into the familiar waters of the force, and let his mind wander its currents in hopes that he would find answers.
In the weeks following his episode, Robin was no longer sick and tired of lifting rocks.
He hated lifting rocks.
He still did not understand how being in a handstand, which was already a difficult physical task for him given his less than ideal physique, while at the same time using the force could possibly be beneficial to him. In the short term, Robin could somewhat understand the applications of such an exercise. Yoda constantly harped on concentration with this drill, and perhaps that was why he Yoda forced him to do this so often. But as a tactician, Robin thought he had concentration nailed. He had to concentrate on his strategies, the outcome of those strategies, the different variables; all of which coalesced into a variety of outcomes that he had to anticipate in order to minimize casualties. Not to mention-
Robin's eyes shot open as his elbows buckled, and once again he fell flat on his back. A loud, frustrated sound left his lips and he pounded both hands against the soft earth.
"It's no use!"
"Concentrating, you are not."
"Concentrating, you are not," Robin replied mockingly. He raised his head and glared at a very unamused Yoda, who was perched on his usual log, "I don't know how I cannot concentrate anymore than I already am! Maybe if you taught me instead of speaking in riddles, I would know what I am doing wrong."
"Riddles, you think I speak in?" Yoda retorted, pointing his cane at Robin, "Telling you exactly what you're doing wrong, I am. Only you think that is a riddle."
Robin grit his teeth. He rose from the ground, more than a little annoyed at this point with his lack of progress, and with the lack of answers from the Jedi Master. Instead of immediately getting back into a handstand and trying again, as he had done so many times before, Robin sat on the ground, legs tucked to his chest as he sucked in deep breaths.
How could I not be concentrating? Robin thought, wracking his mind for answers, What could I be doing wrong? Perhaps this is just the wrong method of teaching?
A heavy sigh came from Yoda, and he saw the little green alien look off to the side of the training area. As if he was looking towards someone observing from the edge of the swamp clearing.
"Teach him, difficult it is." Yoda murmured just loud enough for Robin to hear him, "Thinks he knows everything."
Robin's eyes widened, "I certainly do not! I'm smart enough to know that I don't know everything!"
Yoda's eyes narrowed, "Then why question me?" Robin fell silent, "Thoughts, betray you they do; in more ways than the one you see."
Robin frowned. Yet another riddle he needed to figure out. Naga, why couldn't learning the Force be as straightforward as learning a new spell, or learning tactics. Back in Ylisstol, he had entire libraries of knowledge to reference for those subjects. Decades, even centuries, of records, formulas, and treatises for him to study. He never had to worry about solving the headache-inducing riddles of a little green frog.
But, seeing as how he could not leave this planet, and seeing as how he was stuck with Yoda as his only means of instruction, Robin had to try to solve the riddles. He drew in a deep breath and set his mind to work, quickly parsing through Yoda's words.
His thoughts betrayed him, in more ways than the one he saw. What did that mean to Robin? There was the obvious reason: that Yoda had read his mind when he questioned his teaching methods. Robin certainly did not put it past the Jedi Master to do such a thing, since he had done it before. But he only ever did that sort of thing to prove a point, not to be personally invasive. There was always a lesson laced within the frustrating riddle, and Yoda wanted Robin to figure it out. He would not handhold the tactician through this experience.
In a way, Robin could appreciate that approach. It was slightly flattering because that meant Yoda saw Robin as competent enough to figure it out. At the same time, this style of learning was the single most rage-inducing thing Robin had ever experienced.
Robin shook his head. He could mentally complain about Yoda's methods later. Right now, he had a riddle to solve.
My thoughts betray me, in more ways than the one I see…
This went beyond Yoda giving Robin's thoughts a cursory look through the Force. This was meant specifically for Robin, for thoughts that only Robin knew.
What have my thoughts been recently?
A heavy breath left Robin's lips. The answer to that question was easy to determine. His mind had been drawn to the horrifying vision of Ylisstol's destruction, and the certainty he felt about the vision being true. Yet, Robin felt like that was only a surface-level answer. That was merely a thought, but not the recurring theme.
Robin drew in a deep breath again, and he closed his eyes. When he did, the vision's terrifying contents entered his mind once again. Immediately, his tactical mind went to work trying to figure out ways Ylisstol's destruction could have been combated, or even avoided. What could have been done? Perhaps a ward over the entire city to prevent such a bombardment from the sky? The logistics of that would've been an absolute nightmare. Maybe enlisting Ben's services to shape the city guards into a stronger force? No, the city guard were all war veterans at this point. Besides, they didn't stand much of a chance against whatever weapons the enemy used in Ylisstol's destruction.
The unsettling reality for Robin was that he could do nothing, but in theory and in reality. No matter what contingency plan he thought of, the end result was the same. Ylisstol was destroyed, and he was powerless to stop it. Failure was guaranteed.
Failure… was that the root of all this. Was that the reason he could not do this simple exercise? Was he so focused on his failures, and on retroactively trying to fix them, that he could not focus on what needed to be done in the immediate moment?
Yoda hummed, and Robin opened his eyes. To Robin's surprise, the Jedi Master was on his feet and only a few steps away from him.
Yoda nodded at him, "Understand now, do you?"
Robin's fingers drummed against his legs, "Maybe." His eyes fell to his lap and a heavy breath left his lips, "How do you deal with failure, Master?"
Yoda's ears twitched, "Failure, hmmm…" He shuffled over to Robin's side and sat down beside him, resting his cane on his own small lap, "Failure, greatest of teachers it is."
"I agree." Robin nodded, "But, how can I learn from failure if I don't study it."
"Study it you should. Obsess over it though?" Yoda shook his head, "Obsessing over what could have been; lead to regret, to anger and fear, that can. Learn you should, Languish you should not."
Robin hung his head, one hand running along his sweaty forehead, "How do you do it?"
Yoda turned his head to Robin, "Learning that too, I am." A weary breath left Yoda's lips, "Nearly nine hundred years worth of failure, to look back on, I have."
Robin scoffed, "Can't be that bad. I mean, did your actions directly lead to the deaths of those you cared about? Ever killed one of your friends because you lost control? Or… ever thought sacrificing yourself was the best outcome when in hindsight it clearly was not?"
Yoda's eyes closed, and Robin felt a small pang of sorrow radiate from the Jedi Master.
"Grandmaster of the Jedi for many years, I was. Even during the fall of the Republic, safeguarding the Jedi Order, my responsibility, it was." Yoda shook his head, "Blind, I was. Too proud of what the Jedi became during peacetime. Jedi Order infallible, I thought it was. Never been so wrong in my life, have I. Failures as a leader brought me here. Failures as a teacher, led to the deaths of all those I swore to protect. Know very well how you feel, I do." Yoda opened his eyes, "Perhaps that is why the Force brought you to me. Perhaps that is why the Force wants me to teach you." He turned his eyes to Robin again, "Languish, we should not. Learn, we should. Difficult lesson, this is."
Robin snorted, "I'll say." He shifted in his seat, stretching his legs out in front of him, "Do you have any idea how to not concentrate on those things?"
Yoda's ears perked and he gave Robin a mischievous smirk, "Lifting rocks helps."
A wry laugh left Robin's lips and he threw his hands up in surrender, "Fine, fine. Let's try- no, let's do this."
Yoda nodded, "Do, yes. Do."
Robin drew in a deep breath, shook out his arms and legs, then forced himself into an unsteady handstand. For a few seconds, he thought he would fall down without even having a chance to reach out with the force. He could already feel his arms shaking and his elbows beginning to buckle.
Then, he felt sturdy. Robin furrowed his brow and saw Yoda's eyes were closed and his hand outstretched.
He's steadying me.
Robin drew in another deep breath and closed his eyes. The Force swirled all around him. Dagobah, with its rich and dense wildlife, allowed the Force to grow and run wild through it. The energy felt like a pulsing heartbeat beating all around him. Robin listened to its steady rhythm, allowing his mind to slow to a crawl as he stretched out through the force and felt the nearby rocks.
Weight flooded his mind, along with gravity, air, and stone. He could feel the rocks jostle near him, but they did not rise.
Failure is the greatest teacher. Robin drew in a deep breath through his nose, then exhaled, I have failed many times, and I have languished in those failures.
Another deep breath. He could feel the dirt shifting around the rocks. Moss moved along the surface of the stones like soft bristles as their weight grew in his mind.
I cannot change those failures. Specks of dirt fell from the tops of the stones, I can only learn, then move on.
The vision entered his mind again, but this time, Robin did not analyze it. He let it pass through his mind. Every horror, every terror, that came with it raced through his thoughts. The stones grew lighter as the vision neared its end.
When his thoughts of Ylisstol's Fall ended, Robin felt a strange sense of peace come over him. It wasn't all-consuming. Far from it, he still worried about his friends a great deal. It was more of an acceptance, and with that acceptance came a sudden sense of clarity that caused him to see the area around him through his closed eyes.
With a sudden burst of power in the Force, the three stones Yoda asked him to lift hovered from the ground. A couple of moments later, several small pebbles joined the stones. Sticks that had fallen from the trees swirled in gentle circles around the training area. Through his closed eyes, Robin spotted Yoda, who was now floating a couple of inches off the ground.
Is he doing that, or am I doing thaaaaat?
The sight Robin had went dark, and he felt all of the weight crash down in his mind. Several dull thuds shook the earth, and he found himself on his back again. Robin let out a long groan, winced, then opened his eyes, spotting Yoda standing over him again.
At first, Robin thought he was about to be scolded for not concentrating again. Instead, a ghost of a smirk passed over Yoda's wrinkled lips.
"Lost your concentration, you did."
A wheezing laugh left Robin's mouth. He had done it! He lifted the stones. He concentrated!
"Work on maintaining your concentration, you must," Yoda stated before shuffling back from Robin and allowing him to sit up.
Robin wiped sweat from his face and gave Yoda a wry smile, "I only lost it because you looked ridiculous while floating."
"Ridiculous, I may look." Yoda chortled, "Even more ridiculous, the way you fell was." A mischievous snicker left Yoda's lips, "Done well you have, Robin. Rest for now. New lessons I have for tomorrow."
Robin drew in a deep breath and chuckled to himself.
First lesson done. Time to get ready for the next one.
And chapter! This chapter gave me plenty of trouble. Yoda and Robin's interactions are surprisingly difficult to write for me, but I think in the end, this turned out halfway decent. Robin now knows about what happened on Ylisstol, and Yoda has a vague idea of what occurred. Through that tragedy, they both learned a little bit, which I think is a good way of approaching this difficult relationship. As for the next chapter, I'm still debating which direction to go with it, because I may not have enough content for one idea I had in mind and may just get back into the main plot because of it. We'll see what happens.
Anyways, let me know what you all think of this chapter! As always, I hope you all enjoyed it! Have a nice day!
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