Announcer: "And now, a public service announcement."

-X-

Lorenz Kihl: "Discovery may be joy, but knowledge is power."

*FLIP*

Gendo Ikari: "Burying memories is man's way of surviving. But there are some things a man should never forget."

*FLIP*

Armando Gutierrez: "Because he tasks me! He tasks me! 'Round the moons of Snivia, I chuckle at thee. Beyond the Corpian clouds I chuckle more at thee. Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins! Kirk, old friend, I...Oh, sorry."

-X-

The camera then panned out to reveal that all this was actually footage being played on a TV monitor. Freakazoid used a remote to turn it off as he turned to face us.

Freakazoid: "Is that you? Are you willingly engrossed in a plot to either take over or, heaven forbid, end the world? For the latter especially, whether it be just so you can become an immortal collective, or on a more singular, personal level, reunite with a loved one taken too soon? To the point where you occupy an office so dark that light can't escape it?" [Smiles.] "Well, if you are, there's hope, there's help, there's the..."

[Title graphics appear as soon as he says the name of...]

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET A LIFE FOUNDATION"

The scene then transitioned to what looked like a campus building, with beautifully-trimmed lawns and a good amount of greenery, as we entered the opening front gates.

Freakazette: "Since its inception, the Please Please Please Get a Life Foundation has gently, and calmly, brought people back down to Earth. Originally established to help fans who get too engrossed in inconsequential cartoon trivia, the mission was expanded to also treat folks who think of reaching for the stars...with malevolent intent."

The scene then transitioned to Gendo Ikari matching wits with Lorenz Kihl in a game of Go, a pastime he used to engage Fuyutsuki with. Both were being watched over by one of the Foundation's scientists, who happened to be Wakko Warner in a lab coat. The moment Gendo made a slight gesture that indicated 'plotting', Wakko bonked him on the head with a mallet; the action was repeated when Kihl laughed at Gendo's misfortune. Observing all this via one-way mirror in a booth were Shinji, Rei, Yui, the Freaks, Yakko Warner, and Dot Warner, the latter two also wearing lab coats. Freakazoid then looked our way as he spoke into the camera.

Freakazoid: "Here the staff of highly-trained professionals do their best to keep patients content and busy with a wide variety of comforting therapies."

The shot then opened on another room, where members of the SEELE council (reluctant, bitter looks on their faces) were presently working on different types of 'art therapy', including one man working on a Lite Brite with all the precision one would bring to assembling a ship in a bottle. (Coincidentally, the shape he was making on the Lite Brite happened to be a ship in a bottle.) Dot, going around and observing each, proceeded to check a few things off on her clipboard.

The scene then shifted to what looked like a large 'operating theater', where onlookers watched as the Warners tackled the problem that was Armando Gutierrez.

Freakazette: "That's right, even the toughest cases are solved in a nurturing, serene manner."

The Warners looked Gutierrez over, trying to crack the nut that was one of the Freaks' most dangerous archenemies. Finally, they had a 'eureka!' moment, and then walked over to a door. Once opened, they invited what was on the other side to enter. The footsteps caused Gutierrez to turn around, and when he did, a look of terror immediately appeared on his face.

Gutierrez [fearful]: "No...not them! Anyone, and I mean anyone but them!"

Standing before him were five men, each varying in shape, size, and ethnicity, all wearing the white, old-fashioned uniforms of attendants for the Gasigo gas station chain. In fact, these were the exact same attendants encountered by Freakazoid and Gutierrez during what had been dubbed "the Hero Boy incident". Music filled the air as the quintet of attendants began singing their song:

If you want service with a smile, we will go that extra mile!

We clean windows, fill the tank,

Wash the hood, no need to thank!

Gasigo, we're at your service!

Gasigo, that is our purpose...!

Gutierrez, hands covering his ears in vain, started running all around the room trying to get away from the attendants, who followed him with a smile as they kept going.

Outside the operating theater, the Freaks, Shinji, Rei, and Yui slowly backed away from the 'spectacle' currently going on below them. Freakazoid again turned to face the camera.

Freakazoid: "So don't wait, there's still ample opportunity! Call the number on your screen before you scroll back up to get a better idea of what was depicted in the opening shot! If you or your loved ones begin exhibiting traits of sinister ambition or megalomaniacal tendencies, don't panic! There is hope, there is help, there is the..."

Freakazoid, Freakazette, Shinji, Yui, and Rei:

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET A LIFE FOUNDATION!"

Freakazoid: "Call now-the life you get may soon be your own!"

**Author's Note(s)**

Our 'mid-credits sequence' is a spiritual follow-up to the final segment of the 73rd episode of Animaniacs. The Gasigo attendants appeared in the second season Freakazoid! episode "Hero Boy".