Captain Ripfang was a true corsair searat, tattooed from face to claws, decked out in tattered silks and brass earrings, with a broad scimitar thrust in his waistband. He stood perched on the stern of his ship, Bloodwake. He called up to another rat high on the masthead. "Ahoy, any sign o' the mountain yet?"
"Not yet," the lookout answered, "but it can't be far now!"
Down on the deck, other rats were striding back and forth with long whips, occasionally bringing them down on the backs of the hapless mouse and shrew slaves who were forced to row the ship.
Soon they came within sight of Salamandastron. Ripfang shook his fist at the mountain fortress. "That badger don't know it, but today's his dyin' day!"
He ran down to the deck to face his crew. He waved his scimitar and roared, "Ahoy, buckos, who's the best cap'n on land or sea?"
The other rats cheered and shouted his name. "Cap'n Ripfang!"
"Well said. Let's drop anchor an' pay Lord Boar a visit."
When they reached the shore, they got out of the ship and started marching toward the mountain. Just as they were about to reach it, the door in the side of the mountain opened and Boar the Fighter stepped out, followed by Dany, Tyrion, and many hares.
"He's got humans with him," the rat next to Ripfang said. "I wasn't expecting that!"
"Makes no matter," said Ripfang. "Humans die just as well as any other beasts."
Boar called out to them. "Well, well. The gang's all here."
"That's right," Ripfang sneered. "Here I am, mountain lord. We have you surrounded and ready to die."
"Actually, it's you that's going to die today," Daenerys said sweetly. "Dracarys!"
There was a sound like thunder, but it was really the beating of Drogon's wings as he came flying over the top of the mountain from the other side. When he saw Ripfang, he let loose with a fiery blast and incinerated him. The other rats ran off in all directions, bumping into one another in their haste to get away from the dragon, but none escaped. Drogon burned them all.
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At Bravos, the Faceless Men had given Meg her eyesight back. "An otter has decided to give a girl another chance," Mask told her.
He led her into the room which she hadn't been allowed into before. Inside, Meg saw an immense hall where the walls were covered with faces. There were tons of them. Men, women, animals. "These are the faces of people the Faceless Ones have killed over the centuries," Mask said. He didn't say it as if he was boasting, nor as if he were sorry, nor as if he were angry. He just said it.
He pulled a face off the wall and put it over his own face like a mask. Instantly he turned into Consuela!
"So that's how you do it," said Meg.
"Today, for the first time, a girl will put on a new face herself," Mask said. He picked up a mask and handed it to Meg. Meg looked at it. It was the face of a female hare.
"What am I doing today?" Meg asked. "Do you want me to go after the thin man again?"
Mask shook his head. "No, we're giving you a new target. Somebeast even worse than the thin man."
"What does he do?" Meg asked. "Does he kill people?"
"Worse than that. Come with me."
Meg put the hare's face on and followed Mask out of the temple. They went through the town until they came to a theater. A sign outside said, "See the Rambling Rosehip Players."
"We're going in here," Mask said.
They went in and sat down in the audience, just in time to see the start of the play that was being performed. "The Rambling Rosehip Players are a travelling theater company from Mossflower," Mask mentioned.
A hare came racing onstage. He was wearing a crown, a blonde wig, and a striped shirt. Meg knew instantly that the hare was supposed to represent King Joffrey. This play must be a comedy making fun of him.
"You all should know me by now," the hare said, "but if you don't, my name is Joffrey Lannister- no wait, I meant Joffrey Baratheon! And I am your king! I have something very serious to discuss with you today. A few months ago, I made some videos where I did an inside and outside tour of my castle and put them on the internet…"
The hare suddenly jumped up and began to scream and yell in a fit of childish rage, flapping his arms. "MY MOTHER AND MY UNCLE TYRION ARE ANGRY AT ME! They're blaming it at me! It's my fault, I admit it! It's my fault. But I want everything a-bout my house OFF! THE! INTERNET!"
In the audience, Meg burst out laughing. She couldn't help it. This actor had captured Joffrey's mannerisms perfectly.
The hare gesticulated ridiculously as he continued his tirade. "I'll send in the City Watch! I'll send in my armies! I'll send everything in my POWER! JUST GET IT OFF THE INTERNET…"
A mouse girl came onstage, dressed as Tyrion. Apparently, they were having a woman play Tyrion because they didn't have an actual dwarf in their cast. "Listen to me," she said. "Listen to me. I don't care what you do. You get all that stuff off there tonight."
"I'm workin' on it," the hare mumbled.
"Do you realize… do you realize something? Let me tell you, if Stannis Baratheon sees those videos that you put on the damn internet, he could figure out how to get inside our castle, and we would have to move out of it! You go get that stuff off of there and fast!"
The hare started flailing his arms. "I'm workin' on it! I was tellin' everybody to get the images off the internet! It's outta my control! I don't know where to go! I DUNNO WHERE TA GO!"
"You loaded 'em up there, you unload 'em!" the mouse said.
"I'm workin' on it!"
"Go do it!"
"I am work'- I'm doin' it- I'm startin'…"
"I'll stay up all night with you if I have to. You won't get any sleep until that stuff's off."
"I'M WORKIN' ON IT! LET ME TELL EVERYBODY, IN MY COMMAND, TO GET EVERYTHIN'- HELP ME GET EVERYTHIN' OFF THE INTERNET…"
"I don't wanna get kicked outta my house by Stannis," the actress playing Tyrion said. "And what you just did was stick a knife in our back, and kill us!" She exited the stage, leaving the hare alone.
The hare turned back to the audience. "So yeah, please get everything off the internet… NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOOOOW!"
He stomped the ground like a 5-year-old throwing a tantrum. He then quickly calmed down and made a peace sign with his fingers. "Curse the rebels and traitors, peace to everyone else." He stalked offstage.
By now Meg was laughing so hard that tears were coming from her eyes. Mask turned to her and whispered, "That hare's your target. He's the one you have to kill."
