Chapter 59 – Nerves
Bella
A serious cold front was blowing in, and snow had started falling heavily, blanketing everything in a shimmering layer that glistened in the headlights. I would have loved to have gotten away to somewhere warm and sunny for our honeymoon, but that would have to wait. I looked over at Edward, who was smiling and humming along to the song playing softly in the background. I was just glad to be his and have what time we would have right now. Our wedding couldn't have been any more beautiful, and I was happier than I could ever remember being in my life.
He looked as happy as I was, and when he caught me watching him, he flashed me the smile I had come to cherish so much. He was in such a wonderful mood that I decided not to say anything about my visual encounter with Laurant Dubois. This was Edward's wedding day, too, and I didn't want both of us being distracted tonight. I decided to put the image of Laurant's tear-stained face out of my mind and concentrate on the amazing man sitting next to me.
"So, Mr. Masen, what do you suppose we should do for the rest of the evening?" I asked coyly, as we pulled up to the valet station at our hotel.
"Oh, I don't know, Mrs. Masen. I'm sure we'll think of something," he said in a voice I had never heard from him, low and deep, almost a whisper. The look in his eyes made my insides quiver. He handed the car off to the valet, and after retrieving our bags from the backseat, we hurried inside through the swirling snow to check in and warm up.
While Edward tipped the bellman, I opened the curtains to find that the hotel had an amazing view of the city skyline. As I took in the scenery from the window, I noticed that the DFPS complex and the hospital were just down the street. Edward came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist, kissing my neck.
"You did say you were off for the rest of the weekend, right?" I teased, as I turned to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Not that we don't love our jobs, but I really want you all to myself for the next thirty-six hours. That hospital is awfully close."
"Don't worry, you have my undivided attention, Bella."
I was still wearing the red coat, matching scarf, and beret Alice and Rose had given me for Christmas. Edward unwrapped the scarf and began to slowly work the buttons of my coat loose, slipping it from my shoulders and laying it across the chair next to us, along with the scarf and beret. Suddenly incredibly nervous, I kissed him quickly and grabbed my bag, heading into the bathroom to catch my breath and calm my nerves.
I undressed with shaking hands, slipping on the beautiful white nightgown Alice had given me for my birthday. I decided to save the lacey white contraption Rose had given me for tomorrow night, along with the box of goodies from our shower. I was fully trembling now, as I stood staring at my reflection in the mirror, a combination of excitement, anticipation, and a little bit of fear. I was entering unchartered territory. Grandma Amelia had tried to explain in her cryptic way about what to expect on my wedding night, including the mention of some pain, which I wasn't looking forward to. I had never had an invasive pelvic exam or even used tampons, so I didn't have that experience to prepare me, either.
I had been all too ready to do this, but now, the reality of it was hitting me like a wrecking ball. I knew I was Edward's wife and was free to enjoy whatever we wanted, but the gift I had held onto for so long, and so dearly, was about to be given away.
I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door, stepping out to see Edward turning down the bed. He looked up at me with an appreciative smile, as I slowly stepped into the room. He held his arms out to me, and I shyly moved into his embrace, meeting his lips with mine. I was trembling even harder now, as Edward's hands came slowly to the buttons on my gown. Anxiety managed to get hold of me, tears being the result. Edward had unbuttoned my gown almost halfway, when the first tears hit the backs of his hands, the tremors now hard enough that I was visibly shaking.
"Bella, what's the matter?" Edward asked, concern in his voice, as he tilted my face up to look into my eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No, I'm just a little…scared, I guess." He scooped me up in his arms and kissed me gently, before laying me on the bed and covering me up. I watched him nervously, as he undressed down to his boxers, joining me in bed after he had turned out all the lights. He pulled me to him, placing a sweet kiss on my forehead.
"I love you, Bella. We've waited this long, I'll do whatever you want and nothing more, not until you're ready." I kissed him, grateful for his understanding, and cuddled up to his chest in his arms. I was sound asleep in a matter of minutes, exhausted from the day's events and from the emotional rollercoaster I had been on.
I was awakened a while later by a group in the hallway who were talking loudly and laughing, sounding very drunk. I looked over to see it was almost midnight. Edward was sleeping peacefully next to me, the pale light coming in through the sheer curtains falling across his bare chest. I was now wide awake, so I propped myself up on my elbow and watched him sleeping. He looked so amazing, as his perfect features were relaxed in deep sleep.
As I lay there watching him, I realized how lucky I was to have found such a wonderful, loving man. And I really wanted to love him now. I cuddled up to him, placing gentle kisses on his chest and neck.
Edward's arms instinctively encircled me, pulling me up onto his chest. His hands were running up and down my back, as he slowly opened his eyes.
"Hi," I whispered. I was still a little nervous, but the fear that had gripped me earlier had subsided.
"Hi, yourself," he whispered back to me, tracing circles on my back softly with his fingertips. "Better now?"
"Yeah, sorry about earlier…" I started to apologize, but Edward silenced me with his lips. He kissed me deeply, pulling me to him, beginning the night I had waited for all my life. He loved me gently, taking care of me just like I knew he would. We were finally one, body and soul, and I knew we always would be. Tired in the most wonderful way, I sighed in contentment, as we fell back to sleep in each other's arms.
