Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine

Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.


"I feel sick." Catherine groaned as Jude maneuvered his rather intimidating truck through the parking lot at Langley.

Neither of them had brought up her nightmares. Neither of them had brought up him inviting himself into her bed. And neither of them brought up the fact that when they woke up the next morning, she was nestled in his arms, her head on his chest.

Neither of them said a word as they packed their bags, said goodbye to the cabin, and drove to Langley.

Jude threw the truck into park in an empty corner of the parking garage. When Catherine reached for the door, his hand pressed onto her knee, "We need to talk." She hesitated, but placed her hands on her lap and looked at him expectantly. "Look" He began, running his hand through the sandy waves on top of his head, "This is a joint op between the Afghanistan team and the eastern Europe team. Coen's putting you in the middle, running point."

Her jaw hit the floorboard, "What the hell, Beckett?! You're telling me now? How do you even know that? We haven't been read in on the op yet."

"Marshall told me." His jaw clenched and that tell-tale tic flared under his stubble, "I'm running security for the team, but you're gonna be alone in the house." He shook his head, "I don't like it, but it wasn't my call. Coen's gonna tell you the only communication you get is through dead drops and I-"

"You don't like it."

"I don't trust him." Jude clarified. "And neither should you."

Catherine rolled her eyes, "I know that."

Jude pulled a cheap looking cell phone from his pocket and handed it to her, "Just in case." She gingerly took it from him and scrolled through the contacts while he continued, "You're gonna have to leave your personal phone in your locker here. No matter what Coen says, bring your sat phone." He tapped the cell he had given her, "And keep the burner hidden. It's got the numbers for my burner, Caroline's, and Decker's. I don't know anyone on the Europe team, but you can trust us to watch your back."

She turned the burner phone off and buried it in her bag. Her chest tightened and her palms felt clammy. Wiping them on her jeans, she tried to take a deep breath. "Oh my God, I can't do this..."

"You can do this." He reassured her, "You're more qualified than the suits making the decisions."

"Oh great!" She laughed in sarcastic exasperation, "So the people making life and death decisions have no clue what they're doing."

Jude hopped out from behind the steering wheel and circled around to open her door, "Walk into that place like you own it and people will think that you do." He offered her his hand and helped her down from the lifted cab, "And if you can't dazzle them with your obvious brilliance, baffle them with bullshit." He cracked a grin, "Fake it 'til you make it, Princess."

Catherine couldn't argue with that. On more than one occasion -or more like a hundred, she had been underestimated, and it always ended up working out to her advantage. Being a woman in the military meant she was constantly being compared to her male counterparts. Just because she had a pretty face didn't mean there wasn't a brain underneath.

"C'mon, Princess." Jude grabbed her bag and slung it over his shoulder, "Let's get this show on the road."


The formal briefing was exactly what Catherine had expected. A lot of people in expensive suits or military uniforms with an obnoxious amount of medals and bars telling them about some terrorist who was working with some other terrorist to wreak havoc on innocent lives, and it was their job to figure it out and put a stop to it. Piece of cake.

What kept the dog and pony show interesting was that Coen flinched when she walked into the briefing room. His face still sported the traces of a broken eye socket. His eyelid was just the slightest bit misshapen, and damn if that didn't make her feel good. As the suits filed out to leave the team to prep, Coen summoned his courage and waltzed over to her, his department store loafers squeaking against the slick tile with every step. "Lieutenant Rollins, I thought maybe you'd like to grab a cup of coffee before we all head to the AFB."

Catherine pretended to think it over as she slid the stack of dossiers in her bag, "After you apologize for blackmailing me, of course." She said it a little louder than she probably should have, but the jab landed, eliciting the desired reaction from him.

Coen's upper lip twitch in a microscopic sneer of disdain, but surprisingly, he held it together. "Sure, after you apologize for breaking my eye socket."

"I don't want coffee that badly." She announced.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"To punch you in the face again."

Coen rolled his eyes… eye. "Come on, Rollins. Don't be like that. We're all on the same team here. I'm one of the good guys."

Catherine caught Jude and Decker watching her from the doorway of the briefing room. She shrugged as she zipped her bag and hefted it onto her back, "Sorry, Coen. But once you've hit a guy in the face in front of all his peers, you're filled with blood lust." She shrugged as if she didn't have a care in the world and strolled across the room to meet up with Jude and Decker. "Let's go, boys."


"Alright, we're gonna land at the air base in Poltava and then drive into the city." Jude explained to the team as he pointed to the map of Ukraine, yelling over the roar of the C-130 "It's gonna be about five hours of driving. We're splitting up, taking local vehicles and different routes. Me and Rollins, Decker and Marshall, Coen and Nolan. Clayton and Garner from the Europe team are already in the city."

Coen stepped up and pointed to the red dot in the center of Kiev, "Rollins will be living out of the house here. Beckett and Decker will be running security from this location." He pointed to a warehouse on the other side of the city. "Marshall, me, Clayton, and Garner will be here." He pointed to another red dot closest to Catherine's safehouse. "The dead drop will be at the park halfway between Rollins' position and the rest of us. Now, the goal here is for Rollins to get in good with the wives- particularly, Farah Ahmad. This is the first time Ivan Kushnir and Aziz Ahmad have made in-person contact. Before this, the only communication they've had has been through the Tor Net. They're bringing both families to Kiev until the deal goes down. Kind of a sick security blanket. Military special operators are less likely to get the green light to move in when there are women and children around. Lucky for us, that's also their weakness. Rollins will get in good with Ahmad's wife since she'll be a fish out of water being in Europe." Coen looked up from the map and crossed his arms as he addressed the team. "This is Rollins' op. The rest of us are to have no contact outside of authorized channels. We're just eyes, ears, and tails. She's the only face. Check-ins are through dead drops only. If Ahmad and Kushnir get spooked, we'll lose them for good."

Catherine glanced over at Beckett who looked as if he was going to put his fist straight through Coen's weasley, little body. She caught his eye and nodded her head to the side as the team dispersed to their separate corners of the cargo plane. "You look like you're gonna turn into the Hulk." She hissed as they stepped out of earshot. "Don't go green on me, big guy."

"I don't like this." Jude seethed. "There are a hundred other ways to do this op that don't put you in the field alone."

"Hey." Her hand rested on his arm, "I'm gonna be fine. It's basically what I did in Qala-i-Mirza."

"Me and Marshall ran that op. I don't like that Coen's calling the shots. He's got it out for you."

"And I've got you breathing down his scrawny little neck and looking out for me." Catherine steadied herself as the plane bumped through a patch of turbulence, "Now I'm gonna go pop a Dramamine so I can stop feeling like I'm gonna lose my lunch."

As she turned to walk away, Jude reached out and placed his hand on her hip, "You sure you're okay, Princess? You don't look so good." He pressed the back of his hand against her cheek, "You're real pale."

Catherine waved her hand dismissively, "I'm always pale. I'm fine. Just some motion sickness."

Jude frowned, but waved her off, "Get some sleep." He turned and walked to the back of the plane where Decker had settled in.

Decker looked down the bay of the plane to where Catherine had joined Caroline as Jude squeezed into the jump seat beside him. "You let her stay at your cabin after she ended it with the SEAL?"

"No factor. She needed a place to stay until we rolled out and I had an extra bed." Jude shrugged it off.

A blinding smile crossed Decker's face as he laughed, "Come on, man. Admit it. You're into her."

Jude rolled his eyes, "Of course I am. What red-blooded male in his right mind wouldn't be? Hell, you're into her too. I'm not blind."

Decker held up a hand to stop his pathetic argument, "Yes, but I don't have a self-imposed vow of celibacy regarding hooking up with other agents." He took another look at Catherine, "You gonna do anything about it?"

"Nope. I have a little something called self-control." Jude crossed one muscular arm over the other and leaned back against the seat.


Halfway through the fifteen hour flight, Jude had cornered Coen to figuratively beat some sense into his head regarding security logistics, Caroline was on her third nap, and Catherine had challenged Decker to a game of Blackjack. "So what's Jude's deal?" Catherine asked as she shuffled the deck in between rounds.

"His deal?"

"Yeah." She nodded, "I've been around the military and the acronyms for a long time and I've never met anyone who's that…."

"Nice?"

"Yeah."

Decker chuckled, "That's Beckett for you. Yes, he really is that nice."

"How long have you known him?"

"We were new recruits together." He took the deck from her and began to deal out the cards for the next round, "I had just processed out of the Army and he had just finished law school. Went through The Farm together and got put on the Afghanistan team."

Catherine looked over her shoulder and found Jude looking at her as he talked to Coen. "He's a little intense."

Decker grinned, "That's saying something if you- the ex of a Navy SEAL- is calling Beckett intense." He turned his attention back to the game, his voice dropping into a serious tone. "He doesn't half-ass anything. He's one you want on your side."

"And if he's not on my side?"

He glanced over to where Jude was watching them like a hawk, "He'd still save your ass." Decker began the next round of the game, "Just the kind of guy he is."


"You alright, Princess?" Jude took his eyes off the road for a split second to study her, "You look like a ghost."

Catherine leaned her head back on the headrest in the sedan, "I'm fine." Truth be told, she wasn't. The motion sickness hadn't gone away even after downing the maximum amount of Dramamine she could take. Constant flashes of fire shot up from her back to her neck and the dizzy spells made it nearly impossible to stand. But Catherine put on her battle face and faked it all the way to Kiev. She closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. "Jude?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember when we were flying into Honolulu and I freaked out about the possibility of Steve seeing someone and me just showing up?"

"Yeah."

Catherine chewed on her lip, "You said that you had looked into it…. So that I wouldn't be going in blind…"

He raised an eyebrow, "And?"

"And I guess I was just wondering if you had looked into it since we left…"

Jude shifted his hands on the steering wheel and leaned back in the driver's seat. What the hell was he supposed to say? Yes - I ran intel on your ex and found out he caught a wanted mobster while on a date with a bottle blonde who is definitely not his type, or yes- he went out with someone who on paper (and photos) is the complete opposite of you, so obviously he's trying to move on but isn't over you. He glanced over at the woman who was clearly not okay, despite her assurances that she was. He felt sorry for her. In the blink of an eye, the snowglobe of her life had been picked up, shaken, and then smashed against a wall- shattering and destroying everything she ever knew. Jude sighed, "Thinking about him and whatever he is or isn't doing isn't gonna help you get through this."

Catherine turned her head away from him and listlessly stared out the window at the night sky, "You're right."


"So this is it, huh?" Catherine grinned as they laid on their backs, side by side. "This is where you were gonna propose?"

Steve turned his head and chuckled at her childlike giddiness, "What do you think?"

Her teeth sunk into the pout of her lower lip, "Stargazing on Mauna Kea? It's… it's incredible…" Reluctantly, she peeled her eyes away from the glimmering night sky and looked at her engagement ring, the one Doris had left for him when he was a teenager, "I'm still a little partial to your proposal in Prague." She giggled.

Steve rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his forearm, "You know why I picked this place?"

"Because it's not on O'ahu and it was the only reasonably close destination for a weekend trip?" She mused.

He playfully smacked her ass as pecked her lips, "Smartass."

Pushing him back down, Catherine rolled into the corner of his shoulder and rested her head on his chest, "Why here?"

"The Navy. It, uh, it brought us together."

A smile spread across her lips as she looked up to the sky, "Navigational stars. Sailors finding their way."

He fingered the delicate gold chain around her neck. His thumb brushed across the anchor charm- the necklace he had given to her before their date to the Army-Navy gala, "You're my anchor. The thing that keeps me grounded." He tilted her chin up as shooting stars streaked across the inky sky, "You're the magic in my life." Steve pointed to the brightest speck in the night, "You're my North Star. You're my constant. My guiding light." His fingers found the back of her neck and blindly traced the star tattoo on the back of her neck, "You're the one who always had my six. Even when I, uh, even when I didn't know it." He cracked a bashful smile, his grin glinting in the moonlight. Steve picked up her left hand and brought her knuckles to his lips. Placing a chaste kiss onto her ring finger, just above her engagement ring and wedding band, he added on, "And then I was gonna get down on one knee and beg you to marry me."

Catherine swiped the tears away from her eyes, "Fucking hormones." She laughed, "Having kids made me so soft."

Steve chuckled and took her hand. He pressed a kiss into her palm before placing it on his heart. "I've loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

"Sarah Williams… "The Old Astronomer To His Pupil"."

He nodded, "When you left, you forgot that book of poems in your nightstand…. I read it every night."He confessed as he combed his fingers through her hair.

Catherine closed her eyes and tucked herself into his side, "What do you think would've happened if we had gotten married back then?"

Steve thought for a moment, considering their paths in life, "I, uh, I think it happened when it was supposed to happen. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt like hell, but I, uh, I dunno if we woulda made it. You know?"

She nodded in agreement, "After I left… Jude told me that I was a coward. That I should've told you what was going on." Catherine paused before continuing, "He said I was running away."

He looked down at her, "Were you?"

"Maybe a little." Catherine sighed, "Probably a little more than I would like to admit."

"Hey." His voice was like gravel and honey. Steve sat up. Pulling her up with him, he wrapped his arms around her, "Things happened when they were supposed to. And we're here now. And we made it."

Catherine turned in his arms, "I love you."

Steve reached down in his pocket and pulled out a small slip of paper, no bigger than a stick of gum. She squinted and tried to make out the scribbled message in the dim moonlight. Her eyes widened when she realized that it was her handwriting. He had kept it- the note she had slipped into his pocket when they said goodbye on the front porch.

I love you more than you know. -C


AUTHOR'S NOTE

Real talk: stargazing on Mauna Kea is on my bucket list. Leave your reactions in the reviews!

Goodness, these transitional chapters are hard to write. We just had some big stuff happen with the breakup and we're about to have some big stuff happen very soon. The transitional chapters kill me. I'm a very "Point A to Point B" kind of person. It would be SO much easier to just say, "AND THEN THEY WENT TO KIEV." So thanks for sticking with me! I try to make the boring chapters at least somewhat funny/amusing/intriguing/meaningful.

BEHOLD- the most asked question(s) I have received as of late:

What happens to Jude? Is he alive? Will we see him in Steve and Catherine's real-time lives?

All of these questions will be answered. You know I won't leave you hanging for too long;)

XO,

-Mags-


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