Ballaw introduced Meg to the other members of the company. There was a big female badger named Rowanoak, a male mole named Buckler, two young squirrel girls named Trefoil and Celandine, and two mouse girls named Kastern and Gauchee. Meg recognized Gauchee as the one who had portrayed Tyrion Lannister in the play. She was the smallest actor in the company.

"So, our play is called A King Who Brought Down the World, and it's a satire making fun of King Joffrey of Westeros," Ballaw told Meg. "Yours truly plays the starring part, King Joffrey. You'll be playing the role of Meg Griffin, a girl being held hostage in Joffrey's castle after he killed her father."

"But that's not what happened!" Meg exclaimed.

"Beg your pardon?" Ballaw said.

Meg said, "Um, well, I wasn't there of course, but I heard that Meg escaped from King's Landing after her dad was killed. She was never a prisoner."

"Well, this is just a play," Ballaw said. "It doesn't have to reflect what happened in real life 100%. I felt that having Meg remain in King's Landing makes the story more exciting."

"Okay…" Meg said hesitantly.

"Besides, if I removed the character of Meg from my play, it would deprive the story of its climax, wherein Meg kills Joffrey."

Suddenly Meg was a lot more interested. "Hand me a script!"

"Wow, you became much more excited about this all of a sudden," the hare chuckled. "All right, here you go."

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"Places!" Ballaw called. All the actors rushed to their entrance spots.

Ballaw patted Meg on the shoulder. "Break a leg. In the actin' game that's our way of sayin' good luck to a chap."

The curtain opened. Rowanoak the badger and Buckler the mole were the first to take the stage. Rowanoak was playing Queen Cersei and Buckler was playing Glen Quagmire.

"Now that Robert is dead, Joffrey is king," Rowanoak expositioned.

"But ain't you'm worried about th' North's response?" Buckler said in his mole accent. "Gaggity Goggity," he added, trying to imitate Quagmire's trademark catchphrase.

"The Northmen wouldn't dare try anything," Rowanoak said confidently. "We've got their lord, Peter Griffin, as our hostage."

Then Ballaw came onstage, dressed as Joffrey. He was carrying a prop made to look like the severed head of Peter Griffin. "Mother, look what I did!"

"You cut off Lord Griffin's head?" Rowanoak exclaimed.

"Yep. That's what he gets for being a traitor!"

"Okay, it doesn't matter," Rowanoak said hurriedly. "We still have his daughter Meg."

That was Meg's cue. She ran onstage crying. It was easy for her to make herself cry because she just remembered how she had felt when her father had been killed for real. "Please, let me go home. I won't do any treason. I'll be good, I swear it, I don't have traitor's blood, I don't. I only want to go home."

"You can't go home," said Ballaw. "We're still engaged to be married."

"You think I still want to marry you, after you cut off my father's head?" Meg wailed. "You promised me you'd spare him!"

"I never said I'd spare him, only that I'd be merciful. And I was. If he hadn't been your father, I would have had him drawn and quartered, but I gave him a quick death."

"I hate you!" Meg said, and the emotion was easy to muster, because she just imagined she was talking to the real Joffrey. "I'll never marry you now, you pig!"

Ballaw shrugged. "Okay. You can marry my Uncle Tyrion instead. He might look like a small man, but I think you'll find that where it counts, he's a very large man."

Gauchee entered, dressed as Tyrion. "Uncle, I have a lovely surprise for you!" Ballaw exclaimed. "You're going to marry Meg Griffin here!"

"The Imp? I don't want to marry him!" Meg exclaimed.

Gauchee walked over to Meg and took her hand. "I know I'm not anyone's idea of an ideal husband," she said kindly. "But neither am I Joffrey. If you marry me, I promise I will not mistreat you."

The curtain came down. The first scene was over. "You're doing great!" Ballaw whispered to Meg. "I don't think anyone even notices you're holding a script!"

This Ballaw seemed like a really nice guy. Meg had come here to kill him, but she was starting to doubt that he deserved to die.

As the play progressed, Ballaw-as-Joffrey made a bunch of terrible decisions and drove the kingdom to ruin, pretty much like Joffrey had done in real life. His character continued to insult and humiliate Meg's character all throughout. Meanwhile, Meg grew closer to Tyrion, and she realized he wasn't so bad after all. Eventually, in the second to last scene, the two of them decided to poison Joffrey.

Gauchee-Tyrion held up a bottle. It was supposed to contain poison, but in reality, it just had water inside. "We've got to find a way to slip this into his food at the feast tomorrow," she said. "There's a ship leaving Westeros tomorrow night. Once we kill Joffrey, we can escape to the harbor and get on board, and then we'll be free to start a new life together, far from my evil family!"

Meg took the bottle. "Leave it to me," she said as the curtain went down again.

This was her chance, Meg realized. No one else knew that she had a real bottle of poison in her pocket. She could feed that to Ballaw instead of the pretend poison. He would die, and it would seem like part of the play!

But should she kill him? He had been so kind and supportive to her, helping her break into the acting business. Meg had to decide what to do, and quickly!

The curtain came up for the final time, revealing a scene at a feast. Having defeated all of his enemies, Ballaw-Joffrey was celebrating his marriage to Margaery Tyrell, who was played by Celandine the squirrel.

"The lion and the rose are one!" Ballaw declaimed, as he sat on a prop chair painted to resemble the Iron Throne. "I thank the gods above!" He talked on and on, making a long speech.

The script called for Meg to sneak up behind Joffrey and slip the poison into his wine at this point. Now was the moment of truth. Would she pour the water from the prop bottle into his glass, or the actual poison?

Meg took a deep breath…

And poured in the water from the prop bottle.

Ballaw finished talking, sat back down, picked up his glass, and drained it in one gulp. An instant later, he fell off the throne and started rolling on the ground in mock agony. "I'm dying! I'm dying!"

Meg and Gauchee ran offstage as everyone else gathered around Ballaw. "No one was mightier than me," the hare lamented, really hamming it up. He was on his knees, reaching out with his paws, groping for something only he could see in his feigned death-agony. "I was the king… the king who brought down the world!"

Then he collapsed, pretending to die, and the play was over.

Meg and Gauchee came back onstage, Ballaw hopped back up to his feet, and the entire company joined hands and bowed to the audience.

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Backstage, Ballaw was congratulating Meg. "Oh, I say, you're a natural, wot! I think you may have gotten even more applause than me! You sure this was your first time acting?"

"I'm sure, all right," said Meg.

"Of course, what happened in this play is not what happened in real life at all," Ballaw said. "It was actually Cersei who died at the wedding. But I somehow feel the story would be better if Joffrey was the one who was killed instead."

"Well, maybe someone really will off Joffrey someday," said Meg, only half joking.

Ballaw sat down in a chair. "You know, I've often wondered what would happen if somebody actually put poison in my drink during the play. Then I would die for real! Doesn't bear thinkin' about, wot!"

"Nope," said Meg. She hoped Ballaw would never know how close he had come to actually dying today. She still didn't know why the Faceless Men wanted him dead, but she had resolved that he would never die at her hands.

"Would you ever consider joining our troupe permanently?" Ballaw asked her. "You could have a bright future!"

"Sorry, today will have to be a one-time thing," Meg said.

Ballaw stood up and shook her hand. "What a pity. Well, whatever you decide to do next, best of luck to you, wot!"

"You too," said Meg. She turned and walked out of the theatre, and the Rambling Rosehip Players never knew that the real Meg Griffin had performed with them in their play.

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Meg had left the theatre and was walking down the street when she came upon Mask. "Did you kill the actor?" he asked.

"No!" Meg said defiantly. "Mr. Ballaw is a nice hare, and I'm not killing him. And if that means I can't be a Faceless Man, then I don't want to be one!"

To her surprise, Mask smiled. "Congratulations. You passed the test."

"I did?" Meg said, confused.

"Yes. A Faceless Man must know how to kill… but also when to refrain from killing. You did the right thing in refusing to kill Ballaw de Quincewold. If you had killed him, you would have failed your test… but instead, you passed. And now a girl is no one."

"A girl is Meg Griffin," Meg corrected him. "And she's going home."