Heart of the Infiltrators

(Senran Kagura x Male Reader)

Chapter 60: Plotting and Sharing

May 3 – "Like most things in the universe, the strength of our connections will either contract, stagnate, or expand. May we strive for the latter."

Sitting within a familiar butler café, Homura was leaning onto a table with her fingers dancing against one another as she boldly proclaimed, "Ladies, yesterday was a mere delay." She then balled a fist and thumped it into her other hand, "But this week will afford us several opportunities to take matters into our own-," before she was calmly tapped on the shoulder and looked to her side to find a short old lady beside her.

"I've allowed you delinquents back in here because you had money and apologized," grumbled Lady Victoria before she pointed at her own eyes, "but I'm watching for any and all aggressive or inappropriate behaviors. Don't test me."

Unclenching her fist and throwing up both hands in surrender, Homura quickly murmured, "Sorry… Sorry… You'll have no issues with us…" The elder didn't look terribly convinced but, after remembering that money was money, she huffed and turned around on her heels to raise some tyranny in the kitchen. Once the woman was out of sight, Homura turned back to everyone else at the table and quietly declared, "This week will afford us many opportunities to take matters into our own hands. Then, soon enough, we will claim our reward in one single bed."

Staring back at her with blank eyes, Yumi sat motionlessly for a few seconds before looking over to Miyabi, who was still quaking at the very thought of what Homura was implying. With a sigh, the younger of the two then raised a hand and questioned, "So, before we continue, do we really need to talk about this here? We're going to get kicked out if the owner hears us."

Homura immediately straightened up with a sound of alarm before stating blatantly, "It's a symbolic spot." Before any argument could be thrown her way, she raised up her palms and gestured to the dining room around them, "Look, look, look. The first time we came here, we were talking-, going to talk about how to proceed with our conflicting feelings." Putting on a smile, she made a swiveling motion with her hands before resting them to the table, "Now~, we're back again in a more advanced place than the last to talk about another conflict of feelings and, in doing so, we're setting ourselves up for victory."

Yumi tilted her head, "We're setting ourselves up for victory by coming to the café that kicked us out?"

"Yes."

Miyabi finally stopped shaking and tiredly asked, "How does that work…?"

Without much of a pause for thought, Homura shrugged and explained frankly, "I really don't know. I saw something similar in one of those movies we were watching last night and I figured that coming here would at least build up some momentum and confidence in us." Once she was done speaking, Yumi and Miyabi simultaneously rested their heads onto the table in frustration and prayed that the food they ordered would make the journey worth it. Seeing their disapproval, Homura quickly said, "Look, regardless of where we talk about this, we need to strategize on how to proceed," before tapping her head, "and, hoo~wee, have I been strategizing."

Being the first to raise up her head, Miyabi leaned her head onto a hand and asked, "What're we strategizing again? You're losing me."

"Why," started Homura as she pointed a finger in one hand and made an O in the other, "to get us from here…" and then paused for dramatic effect for a few seconds too long before promptly inserting her finger into the opening, "…to here…"

Miyabi let out a gush of air that filled up her cheeks before she went on a mental retreat. At the same time, Yumi asked frankly, "Actually, I've been thinking about that too and there's a pretty easy solution to it."

Without missing a beat, Homura pointed a finger at the girl, "Are you going to suggest that we roll it back to one-on-one intercourse?" She then shook her head, "If so, I will refuse until I die."

For a moment, Yumi bit her lip and shook frustratedly before nearly exploding. But after remembering which café they were in, she took a breath and quietly hissed, "What exactly is so wrong with it…!? We're all in the same relationship and if he and I are interested in sharing an intimate moment together then we should be allowed to proceed…! It's not cheating-, in fact, it's no different than a date…!"

Feeling a bit heated over the firm resistance that she was met with, Homura fired back with a nearly silent, "It's entirely different than a date…! There's so much more connection and, plus, whoever takes part in their first times will be sharing an extra special moment." She then crossed her arms over her chest, "No, we've already voted and that's final. If you two want to cozy up after we've all shared each other, that'd be fine. But our first time is the most important thing here."

Feeling her head quiver in frustration, Yumi dwelled upon how horrible an idea it was to consent to a mere vote over extremely intimate and serious matters. It took almost everything in her to not flip the table they were sitting at and scream, "To hell with your election!" but she managed to successfully catch herself and think out her next argument. Once her head was cooled, she then retorted, "You know, doing it as a group isn't going to change anything. Someone is inevitably going to be first and, even if everyone's around to share the moment, that moment will still be special between two people." She then tapped her fingers into the table aggressively, "I'll also mention that we could each be closer to our own special moments if you just allowed for the one-on-one…" before giving a thump with her palm, "You know that it's the group aspect that's intimidating him…!"

Homura narrowed her eyes combatively and readied herself for the steamrolling words she'd practiced to her reflection in the pond that morning. She cracked her knuckles, shuffled her shoulders, and straightened her neck before saying, "That was only one thing hindering him," and raising a finger, "but you neglect the other two…!" Feeling a cocky smile spread across her face, she stated blatantly, "One of those things is the fact that we're not all united on the matter, which would require Asuka and Murasaki to take our side in this…" Her face fell for a second, "Unfortunately, the former is still on the fence and the latter won't be budging unless he's certainly taking part too… Thus, there's a paradox… yada yada…" before taking on a more excited pose, "But do not lose hope…! We are going to sway everyone by taking out the third thing keeping him back. We are going to claim the majority vote!"

"Hush over there!" came a hoarse cry from the kitchen.

"…Apologies!"

Unimpressed with the plan entirely, Yumi asked, "How will that help?"

Lost in her own world and ignoring the question entirely, Homura clasped her hands together, "Now, fret not. I have the plan together and it will be successful, rest assured." She raised a palm, "It will take a measure that you two might deem as a bit extreme, which I'll understand, but it was conveyed to me by Jasmine before she left and I'm sure she wouldn't throw something out with bad intentions." Giddy to finally explain her plan, Homura gave a quiet clap before announcing, "Alright, here's how we'll claim the majority vote."

"How will that help?" asked Yumi again.

The tanned shinobi continued unabated, "Now, it should be noted that there are a few birthdays this week that will be working to our advantage." She raised one finger, "On Tuesday, everyone in Hanzō Academy will likely be celebrating Kiriya's birthday… or they'll be distracted long enough wishing him a happy birthday-, either way, they won't interfere." Homura then paused and raised a finger, "Sidenote, try not to go running around tomorrow. Asuka said she would be coming by to collect some signatures on two cards. One for Kiriya and another for Kafuru."

Miyabi, who'd been listening to the plan with some interest, asked quietly, "Is her birthday coming up too?"

Homura nodded, "Yeah, on the same day."

"Huh… Alright, I'll be open," murmured Miyabi.

"How will that help?"

From there, Homura continued, "It should also be noted that we won't be taking any action on Friday since that is Ayame's birthday too and Ikaruga is currently planning out the party." She gave a shrug, "It won't afford us any opportunities but we may be able to do some smaller things to work on our plan, though let's not go stealing the show."

Miyabi mumbled quietly, "I won't lie, I forgot about her birthday."

"Almost everyone did-, at least, everyone almost forgot about celebrating the birthday with how long she'd been gone," stated Homura before clasping her arms, "Still, even with those things, they'll be working heavily to our advantage. It all may seem like a small distraction from our bigger issue but working with the schedule of those birthdays is the key to our victory."

"How will that help?"

"Now, I'll be working on one aspect of the plan to get ourselves a majority vote," continued Homura as she raised a hand excitedly, "I know what you're thinking and let me just tell you not to worry. I have a candidate in mind that will certainly help us." After a short chuckle, she proudly crossed her arms, "I didn't even need to go with a nuclear option like Haruka."

"How will that help?"

"You two, on the other hand, will be working on the frontlines," said Homura with a more serious expression, "Whether we like it or don't, we'll need to woo our boy toward the idea of doing it as a group. So, whenever he's not planning to work on corrections, you're going to do everything you can to smother him with affection as a duo until he realizes that the dream of eager women waiting to bed him is right around the corner."

Having kept her expression unreadable through most of the plan's explanation, Yumi simply stared and dwelled on the last suggestion before shrugging her shoulders, "Alright, I can do that last part."

"Great!" cried Homura, which earned an ignored yell of frustration from Lady Victoria, before she pulled out her phone, "I will send out the text immediately then."

Yumi and Miyabi blinked with confusion before they looked to one another. The latter then questioned, "Wait, who are you texting?"

Not a few minutes later, Ikaruga had rallied the remainder of the Hanzō Academy Elite and was staring everyone down with a stern expression. She was more than prepared to talk and share her ideas for the coming festivities in the coming week and there was nothing within her that would prevent any words from coming out. Yet, even still, she could not summon up anything to say at the sight of Hibari and Yagyū, who were adorned in massive layers of makeup and wearing colorful clothes that had no rhyme or reason. Hibari, with an especially large amount of lipstick on her face, was dressed in a bright green hood with a purple t-shirt sticking out at the top while wearing what was undeniably a Scottish kilt and wooden sandals. Yagyū was on a different extreme in a blue jacket that went down to the floor with vibrant peacock feathers sticking out and dotted pants that shared the color scheme of a dalmatian with bare feet sticking out from underneath.

Sitting right next to the two in the living room of their residence, Asuka absolutely refused to make eye contact with them in fear that she would have to fish for a compliment on how they looked. She loved the two dearly, without any doubt, and truly believed that they were beautiful but there was too little rhyme or reason to justify any words promoting the clothes that they were wearing. Finally, after Katsuragi finally joined into the meeting from the hallway as her eyes were glued to the phone in her hands, she looked up and saw Hibari and Yagyū's fiasco before immediately puffing her cheeks out with a snort. A cough that sounded far too pleased came out after and the blonde shook a little as she asked, "What're you two wearing…?"

Without any hint of wrongdoing, Hibari tilted her head and answered, "We…" before clearing her throat, "Before the meeting today, Yagyū and I went out to try and meet some boys at a lunchtime mixer."

Having something else to talk about beyond the pair's appearance, Asuka chimed in as merry a tone as she could produce, "Oh~, that explains… some things, certainly. How did the mixer go?"

Immediately, the pink-haired girl hung her head as Yagyū answered, "The doorman wouldn't let us in and told us to take our Halloween costumes elsewhere."

"Oh, what a shame," murmured Asuka as she thought for a second and asked, "So… was there a particular… theme you had for dressing or is that how you two just wanted to go today?"

"They told us to dress vibrantly," said Yagyū as she pinched a peacock feather between her fingers, "and these clothes were marked as 'vibrantly trendy' at the store… so we bought them."

Unable to hold any of her laughs in anymore, Katsuragi started to let out a restrained giggle as she began to advance toward the pair. Though they flinched at the sight of the blonde's grasping hands, she only pulled them into a hug as her laughs got louder and louder. In between breaths, she repeatedly ordered with a wheeze, "…Don't ever change… Don't ever change…"

As her best friend was about to collapse onto the floor, Ikaruga took a long breath before shrugging and deciding to actively ignore the strange choice in wardrobe. Instead, she asked pointedly, "So, you two were at a mixer this afternoon?"

Still locked in the grip of Katsuragi's hug, Hibari pumped a fist and stuck it as high as she could manage into the air as she cried, "Of course! Since Asuka is making great strides in her relationship, we can't have ourselves left behind-," before she gasped and covered her mouth. She then patted at Katsuragi's head and looked to Ikaruga, "Oh no, I just realized that we never invited you two! Did you want to come?"

"I'm fine," answered Ikaruga.

"But, I mean, you're older than us," continued Hibari, "and if you don't find a man soon, it'll mean either an arranged marriage-, you know, because your dad is rich-, Sorry if I'm being presumptuous. It's either that or you'll be left unmarried… That is, if nothing spectacular happens before age twenty-five."

"I'm fine."

"No, no. Ikaruga-," started Hibari before she was immediately cut off.

"Not everyone meets a partner in high school," growled Ikaruga, who'd heard enough about the topic of romance, "I'll get into a relationship when I desire to be in one. Thank you for your concern but let's return our attention to this meeting."

Unfortunately, Hibari didn't budge as she further pressed, "Not everyone meets a partner in high school but only the best relationships start in high school."

"Is that how it works?" asked Asuka off to the side in a quiet voice.

Having heard her, Yagyū looked around Hibari and answered frankly, "Statistically speaking… No, not really."

With a wide-eyed look of betrayal, the pink-haired girl's jaw dropped and she looked to her friend, "How could you say that? Haven't you seen how sweet some of those sweethearts in cartoons and books are while they're in high school?"

"Sweet as they are," murmured Yagyū before she looked away, "the number of high school sweethearts who divorce isn't a lie…"

Thumping her foot to the floor, Ikaruga growled with no room for argument, "Returning our attention to the meeting at hand-," before she was interrupted.

"I mean, sure… those numbers don't lie," retorted Hibari who didn't catch the edge in her senior's voice and continued her conversation with Yagyū, "…but the relationships that do make it just sound so beautiful-, as beautiful as a couple who's been together for the majority of their-, oh…" The girl would have continued but she was swiftly cut off by the malicious glow in Ikaruga's eye. She then raised a palm in apology, "Sorry. I'll stop."

By that point, Katsuragi had finally released her hold on Hibari and Yagyū and was trying to pick herself up from the floor. As humorless as Ikaruga found the situation, there was nothing that brought a greater laugh from the blonde's throat than a lighthearted downfall of genuine innocence. But, after a few more dry and raspy sounds came from her throat, she finally managed to pick herself up and sit on the couch with a blissful smile on her face. Then, with a few blinks of realization and a slackened jaw, Katsuragi patted around for her phone and saw that she dropped it to the floor. She nosedived straight at it, uttered an apology to Ikaruga since the girl was about to finally start speaking, and then crashed back onto the couch.

Knowing that her friend was up to no-good in some way or form, Ikaruga wanted to ask why she was so desperate for the phone. Yet, the meeting had been delayed for too long and started with a clap of our hands, "Alright, let's briefly cover how this week will work. I'll skip Monday for now-, Tuesday, Asuka and Hibari will handle the cake while Katsuragi, Yagyū, and I will be handling decorations in the classroom. Now, Kiriya is particular about his flavors…" and continued on with further details.

In the meantime, Katsuragi was simply staring at the messenger app on her phone and was squinting her eyes in anticipation. She was warned that the young man would be sending a message to everyone in the group and, if Homura's plan were to come to fruition, she had to be the first to respond. In most situations, the mere knowledge that a text was coming would be enough of an advantage for someone to be the first response. But there was one threat to Katsuragi that threatened the plan at its foundation and that lone threat was the speedy typing fingers of Shiki, who was the quickest draw with a phone in the entire wild east. So, as much as she knew it was rude and frustrating to Ikaruga, Katsuragi had to keep her phone out at all times just for the chance to be the first to respond.

Keeping an eye on her friend with a suspicious brow, Ikaruga was continuing her plans, "Now, assuming there's no issue from the postal service, Kafuru will probably receive her card the day after and, provided she's well enough, we may receive a response of some sort. Probably a phone call. If that happens, broach the matter of Renka extremely cautiously. She may be better or she may be worse. We don't know and we need to be careful." Once all of that was said she gestured off to the side, "Now, there's this coming Friday. We'll need to go out of our way on this one to show Ayame that she is both welcome and still a part of the team, even if the government has revoked her status as an elite." Ikaruga then looked to her friend, "Katsuragi, just to be sure, you've been keeping her company for the last couple of days?"

Without removing her eyes from the phone in her hands, Katsuragi nodded her head and answered sincerely, "Yup, yup. We went out for some burgers the other day and I helped clean the shop yesterday-, Oh, I forgot to do so when I got back but she told me to send her love to you all."

"I'll be sure to send her my love later on," said a cheerful Asuka.

Ikaruga was still not at all amused by the thought of being ignored. Still, she continued with her logistical questioning, "And, just to be sure, you didn't spoil the surprise?"

"Of course not, don't be silly," answered Katsuragi with a dismissive wave of her hand, "We talked about the usual stuff. The sales at the school store and my suggestions to raise them, which are often refused, and about the great rack on the occasional person to randomly walk by."

Hibari straightened herself and asked bewilderedly, "You look at the boobs of strangers?"

"Well, we also make comments about their ass."

Ikaruga pinched the bridge of her nose and began to murmur, "Right, right… anyways-," but was cut off.

"Okay, fine," came an overexaggerated feign of surrender from Katsuragi, "we also talked about Asuka's body and how we'd go to town on it."

Standing up and away from the couch, Asuka moved her arms to cover as much of herself as she could while shivering and murmuring, "I'm feeling more violated than I was by your groping…"

"Getting passed sexual harassment," started Ikaruga with a loud voice, "can we get back onto the topic of Ayame's party-," before she was interrupted by a vibration in her pocket. She threw up her hands in frustration, "Criminy, what is it now…?"

"Dibs!" cried Katsuragi as she immediately began to type out her text, "Dibs, dibs, dibs, dibs, and dibs!" before giving one final and victorious tap to her phone. Upon scanning it for a second, she stood up and threw her hands into the air, "Sent! First! I am first!" before she looked to everyone else, "Sorry to break up the meeting but I gotta go get my head clear." She began to runaway but stopped midstep to add, "By that, I mean I'm going to go get corrected. I'm doing fine otherwise," and running away.

After processing what had just happened, Ikaruga looked down to her phone suspiciously and read out the long text that the young man sent, one which couldn't have been read so quickly by Katsuragi of all people. She then looked to everyone else in the room to ask, "How did she know he was asking about a correction?" and was met with a round of shrugs. There was some contemplation about whether or not the girl was to be pursued but, ultimately, there were birthdays to plan and distractions couldn't be afforded for the moment. If nothing else, they'd text the young man later just to make sure that he was safe and sound.

Meanwhile, the boy in question was lounging on his couch and spending his final day away from school in quiet. Beside him, Chomubach was lazily stretched out and purring as his hand scratched her lower back. Occasional, she'd let out a quiet chirp of contentment and would be met by the young man ushering her to silence as he flipped through the job magazine in his lap.

A part of him was still thinking about the overexcited message that Katsuragi sent him in declaring herself first and, quite frankly, he had more than just a hunch that she was up to some sort of deviance. But he was used to the amount of crazy pervading into his life at that point and was already deducting how his encounter with her would go. At some point that day or the next, he figured that Katsuragi would make like everyone else, sneak through his window, jump out at some point, and make him yell in surprise. Considering the pattern that was going so far, he'd bet money on it, though he had none at that point in time.

Sighing as he flipped through another page of his magazine, he looked down to Chomubach and started muttering, "So, once I'm gone for extended periods of time to bring home the bread, you're going to have to start pulling your weight around here."

"Mer?"

Hearing the confused rebuttal, the young man pointed down to her, "Don't you 'myeh' me. I'm expecting you to mop the floors, do the dishes, clean the bathroom, clean your litterbox within the bathroom, and lists of other things."

There was a pause before he received a tilted head and a confused, "Mer?"

"Don't you give me grief," said the young man as he started to scratch the top of Chomubach's head, "If you weren't so cute, I would've been heartless and given you away a long time ago. Wouldn't I have? Yes, I would~." Realizing that the boy was just messing with her Chomubach rested back down and let out a tired purr. Having had his fun away from his job search, the young man finished by saying, "Oh, those good looks of yours will only carry you so far but you're safe around here. Alright, continue being lazy."

"Me-yer~…"

Putting his eyes back onto the magazine in his lap and flipping a page with his free hand, the young man further contemplated a new issue that he was having, one that was thankfully keeping his mind off of everything from the previous day: to be picky in his job search or not to be picky. He knew that he didn't really have much of an option since his funds were dried up and the cheap food that he had in the fridge would only last for so long… But, at the same time, he didn't want to spend every night of the week mopping floors for a pay that could only serve to refresh his food supply. Sure, if he was a miser, he could continue to buy cheap microwaveable foods and save whatever amount of yen he had left. But the young man also didn't want to spend an hour on the toilet every couple of nights. So, of course he wanted to buy more standard ingredients or, at the very least, microwaveable foods that wouldn't kill him from the inside.

Getting a bit frustrated with his options, the young man began to quickly skim the articles and began to voice his thoughts. "Too little pay…" came a disgruntled murmur as he flipped a page, "Way too many hours…" and felt his face tighten up in frustration, "Too much heavy lifting…" Soon after, he closed the magazine and flung it away like a frisbee toward the end of the room and watched it smack against the wall. He grumbled a few incoherent things before looking down to Chomubach, "Do you think my standards are too high? I'm not really being left with many options and I do need money…"

"Miyee."

"I wish I knew what that meant in human tongue so that I could have an answer," uttered the young man as he reclined into the couch.

"I think part-time jobs must suck in general," came the boisterous voice of Katsuragi from behind him.

The boy let out a surprised gasp and felt his limbs scrunch up defensively as he whipped around and faced the girl. But after realizing the fact that he wasn't in any real danger, he quickly calmed down and waved to her, "Oh, hey," as he relaxed back into the couch.

A bit of disappointment flashed over Katsuragi's cheerful expression before she said in a frank tone of voice, "You know, I was expecting a bit more yelling and questioning."

"Working with shinobi is like working with a tornado," retorted the young man as he patted the couch next to him, "You can only make estimated guesses on where they're gonna go and that's about it. There's no stopping or interfering, no guessing of how they're gonna be… only working with whatever happens as best as you can." As the girl came around and sat next to him, he asked, "I'm also going to take a wild guess and say that you found some way to unlock the window in the bedroom?"

"Actually, I just came through the one in here," said Katsuragi with a finger pointed in the air, "My plan was to see if you had a window in the bathroom so that I could scare you while you bathe or something." As the girl continued, the young man grabbed Chomubach and slid away to the other end of the couch, "But then I saw you in here and figured that it would be best to just come on in."

The boy blinked and replied, "Alrighty then."

Not inclined to hold back, Katsuragi stretched her arms up into the air and asked, "Well, let's do this correction thing," before throwing her legs over the arm of the couch and twisting around to look at the young man with an upside-down head, "Do you touch my head while I touch your man-tits or do you touch my head while I grab your ass?"

"I suddenly feel the need for a spectator," uttered the young man as he started to fear for his wellbeing.

"Oh-ho," jeered Katsuragi with a lecherous grin, "So that I can grab your ass and their tit while you grab my head?"

Not honoring the girl's statement with a rebuttal, the young man truly debated the idea of calling someone else in to help. Afterall, even if he got past the prospect of protecting himself from Katsuragi's grabby hands, there was still the matter of keep both of their heads in place as he went through the correction. But the whole process relied on an intimate trust and, while he didn't doubt the bond that he'd developed with the girls in the past month, he didn't want to risk marring that confidence by letting personal details get unveiled like they had during Miyabi's correction long ago. It was luck alone that everyone else didn't have particularly vocal aspects and, since Katsuragi and him were in a controlled environment, he didn't feel the need to take much of a risk. At best, the distortion would be pulled out and the young man would neutralize it. At worst, he'd get his ass kicked and would have to suffer a few more bruises for a couple of days.

Seeing the boy spending so much time in silent thought, Katsuragi sat up and gave her hands a repeated clap until she had the young man's attention. When he looked over, she said a in a voice that was mimicking sadness, "Well… if you want me to save my sexual harassment until after the process… I can try that too…"

Making a quiet sound with his throat, the young man nodded his head, "Yeah, that'd be preferable."

With a grumble under her breath as she reclined into the couch, Katsuragi said, "You know, since this depends on trust, I'd think that you'd be more willing to accommodate my commands."

"Trust can be interpreted as your belief in knowing who I am," said the young man as he recalled some words from his grandfather, "If I were to be a yes-man, praising your very existence and rewarding your every desire, could you really believe that's who I am?"

"Mister Serious…" murmured Katsuragi before raising up her hands and making groping finger movements, "…could you either let me grab you or feed me?" before a long gurgle came from her stomach.

Blinking from the sudden turn, the young man didn't know how to respond at first. Then, rolling with it as he always did, he answered frankly, "I can but you'd have to wait a bit. My inventory is the sort of food that you'd have to wait for to cool down."

"Can I raid your fridge and confirm that you're not holding out on me?"

"Please, go ahead."

"Thank you," said Katsuragi as she hopped onto her feet and began to make way for the dining area before pausing midstep to say, "By the way, I forgot to say this on my way in. Your hair looks long, pretty, and very grabbable. I like it."

As the blonde made her way to the fridge, the young man narrowed his eyes before pinching a lock of hair between his fingers. He considered her words and remembered Shiki's suggestion for a haircut before thinking aloud, "Huh… Maybe I should stop at a barber sometime soon?"

"If you really want to, I'd recommend Shiki or Yomi," came Katsuragi's loud voice, "They're quick, efficient, and they won't charge you-," before it was cut off by a yell of surprise, "What is with all the ramen in here!?"

Releasing his hair and sitting down, the young man called over, "They had a really cheap sale and I bought them in bulk."

"It's-, hold on," came the girl's desperate voice before another cry echoed out, "IT'S ALL RAMEN!"

"Indeed."

There were a few grunts of disapproval before Katsuragi closed the fridge with a package in hand and started to prepare it for the microwave. The young man heard a few beeps and heard the familiar hum before the girl frustratedly stomped her way back over and sat back down onto the couch with her arms crossed. She occasionally looked over, found the young man staring at her, and then turned away. When she was unable to take the silence anymore, she pointed at him, "You," and circle her finger in the air, "turn those beautiful things you call eyes around. They're frustrating me." Feeling more complimented than insulted, the young man obliged with a shrug and wordlessly faced the window to the outside. Shortly after, that silence became too much to bear and Katsuragi then said, "Alright, let's do this correctional thing. The food can cool down in the microwave once its done."

"One second," said the young man as he stood up, "I'm going to go get a few pillows."

As he walked away toward the bedroom, Katsuragi asked after him curiously, "What for?"

"Once I neutralize the distortion," responded the boy as he disappeared for a few seconds, "I'll need to keep our heads in place while I fix everything up." When he reappeared with three pillows bundled in his arms, he said with a hint of cheer, "The way I see it, a pillow under us and a pillow to each side of our head should be enough."

"Let's assume the position then," said Katsuragi as she sprawled herself out suggestively on the couch, giving her breasts a wiggle and lifting up one of her legs so that her skirt slid away from most of her thigh.

"We'll need to go through the initial part of the process first," said the young man, "which will either end in me nearly dying or in nothing at all, if the current pattern holds," before he arranged the pillows onto the floor, "Either way, there probably won't be enough room on the couch once this is all set."

Katsuragi blinked before stating, "You know, I'm trying to do something sexy up here."

"I saw," said the young man as he sat back onto the couch next to her. He gave a clap of his hands and stated freely, "Well, whenever you're ready, I'll be good to start."

With a grumble about the boy's lack of taste, Katsuragi gave herself a shake before sticking a thumb into the air, "I'm game. Fix me up, doc."

Sticking out his hand slow and meticulously in an effort to not alarm the girl with any sudden movements, the young man rested his hand onto Katsuragi's head and was about to pull out all of the distortion for neutralization. He held his posture with a serious face for a few seconds before his eyes briefly opened in surprise. A dissatisfied groan came from his throat along with a few notes of disappointment before he said, "Well… unfortunate as it is, you don't trust me enough."

Katsuragi blinked, "Wha-," before doing a doubletake, "What in the hell does that mean?" She crossed her arms in the air, "No, that's bull. That is bull."

Lowering his arm from her head, the young man said in a deflated manner, "It can't be helped. I mean, we're talking about a pretty extreme level of trust here."

"But I do trust you," fired back Katsuragi as she spaced her hands as far from one another as possible, "I trust you immensely. After everything and all I've seen for myself, there's no reason for me not to trust you."

"We can try again another day," eased the young man with a palm in the air, "I mean, our interactions have mostly been me retreating from your grabs so we may just need to spend a little more time together to talk and such."

"No, we're getting this done today," said Katsuragi with a solid thump of a fist to her knee, "Now, help me brainstorm ideas on why I don't completely trust you."

There was a brief pause before the young man raised a finger, "I don't think this will work."

"Keep your pessimism out!" roared Katsuragi as she stuck her face closer to the young man, "If you don't have ideas, get back to thinking-," before she suddenly paused in place, "Oh… wait…"

Craning away from her ever so slightly, the young man asked with narrowed eyes, "What, did you realize something?"

With a bit of a laugh as she haughtily crossed arms over her chest, Katsuragi looked to the young man, "I just realized that there's something I've been meaning to ask you for a while." She then shrugged and gave her hands a little flap, "I'm positive that you answering honestly will certainly result in me trusting you with everything I've got."

The young man blinked before nodding, "Sounds unlikely but I'm willing to try."

"Tits or ass?"

The boy blinked, "Excuse me, what?"

Katsuragi repeated with a clap of her hands with every syllable, "Tits or ass, man? Speak up." She then proceeded to taunt, "Oh, hurry. I'm afraid I'll never be cured if you can't get over your meek-," before she was cut off.

"Both."

The blonde froze before she fixed her gaze onto the young man, not really sure if she'd heard him, who was often more serious than not, correctly, "Could you repeat that with a few more words."

"I do not believe in tits or ass," said the young man in as shameless a manner as he could possibly muster as he showily pumped a fist, "I believe in the yin and yang. Tits and ass." Then, as a bit of redness finally seeped onto his cheeks, he crossed his arms defiantly, "One cannot achieve maximum sex appeal without one or the other."

Spotting a sign of his falter, Katsuragi gave a smug grin before cheekily commenting, "Could you replace the words 'sex appeal' with arousal too?"

"I mean, that's a given."

Katsuragi gave a clap of her hands, "Well, let's move onto the next question."

"Oi!" fired the young man in alarm, "You said one question!"

Katsuragi began to feign a swoon as she threw a hand to her head, "Oh no, the distortion is eating me alive~."

The young man harshly glared before crunching over to let out a long yell of frustration. After swallowing his pride and determining himself to shoot through the questions rapidly, he clapped his hands together and made finger guns, "Alrighty-roo! Fire away!"

"How do you like your tits?" cried Katsuragi with a finger befitting of an ace attorney.

"Tits are tits!" shot back the young man with a fist in the air, "Overall, I'd prefer them large and bouncy but I will accept and love any form!"

Feeling a sense of culture with him, Katsuragi arced herself backward at an impossible angle before sticking her other finger toward him, "How do you like your ass?"

"It is the same as-," started the young man before he coughed out, "tits…" before rejuvenating his momentum and pressing on, "May they come, big or small, so that they may be appreciated!" before muttering off to the side, "Though, it also the same preference… large but also proportionate to the rest of the body."

"What do you think of your girlfriends' bodies?" growled Katsuragi excitedly as she was swaying back and forth in a sumo wrestler's posture.

Not questioning her physical actions, the young man instead recoiled and cried, "Hey, hey! Don't you think we're getting a little too grounded and personal?"

"My distortion~… No, it's killing who I am~…"

"They're goddesses!" roared the young man as he bit his teeth down. He clenched his eyes closed for a moment before he opened them again with sparkles emanating from every corner, "You cannot well and truly describe how beautiful they are with simple terms alone. It is as though God handcrafted them and chose their natural design with extreme care and balance. From their bodies to their outfits to their personalities to every little thing about them!" As tears of joy began to sprout from the corners of his eyes, the young man uttered in a cracked voice, "Truly, I'm a lucky man…"

Seeing how into it he was getting, Katsuragi grinned like a predator descending on its prey as she stuck both of her thumbs into her breasts, "Now, what do you think of my body?"

With all of his momentum killed after that sentence, the young man held up a palm and said, "Alright, now you're pressing it. I was fine gushing about everyone else but it isn't appropriate to go there."

"They'd want you to answer this so that you can cure me," said Katsuragi without her grin falling, "C'mon, c'mon. Be honest."

"I'm not going there…" grumbled the young man.

"My di-stor-tion~…" swooned the blonde again.

"I'm not going there."

Katsuragi fell to the floor, "Oh no~, it's taking me over as we speak…"

"Well, enjoy your new personality."

Like a rodent scrunching up its body in its last moments, the shinobi laid on the floor and said in a wheezy voice, "No, everything that makes me who I am is fading away… I'll never be able to express how joyous I was to be friends with everyone. I'll never be able to tell them that I loved their company… more than I ever loved tits or ass…"

The young man stared down at what would be a pathetic form for most. Yet, despite how shameless it all was, Katsuragi had somehow found a way to visibly seem happy and proud with what she was doing then and there. With his resolve finally collapsing, the young man raised a finger, "I will emphasize that I'm answering this for the slim chance that it will somehow help," before taking a heavy breath and finally answering, "Once I'm past the discomfort of your harassment, you are certainly and without any doubt a beautiful and fun person to be around."

"Go on, go on," fished Katsuragi from the floor, "Flatter me a bit more. I think it's helping."

Reluctant and still searching for a way out of his current situation, the young man clapped a hand to his side and gave a frustrated stomp before continuing, "Your hair is radiant and has all the positive energy of your personality. The blue in your little color scheme of outfits is just a perfect match-, I don't know how to word that. Please don't ask." He clasped his hands together in thought for a brief moment before pressing on, "The fact that you leave the top few buttons open on every shirt you wear is extremely arousing. I've caught a few glimpses of your cleavage in those moments and it took all of my willpower to not show any reaction." He then held his flattened hands in the air, "Whenever you're running around really fast or, shameful as I am to admit it, during our fights, I've caught glimpses under your skirt-," He held up a finger, "Unintentional. I've caught unintentional glimpses up your skirt and I won't go into further detail of how that made me feel because I'm sure you can guess already." Then, resolved to finish what he started, the young man said, "And your face is perfect for someone who is so confident and shameless in her every action. You have a natural smile that many people fail to ever capture with the same cocky and loveable attitude."

Staring up to him from the floor with a smug smirk on her face, Katsuragi was practically beaming from all of positive words he'd used to describe her. While trying to calm a beating heart over his last words in particular, Katsuragi repeatedly curled a finger to him, "Alright, boy-o. Correct this fine-ass body of mine."

Doing his utmost to not react to her words in order to save some face, the young man bit his lips and knelt down next to the girl before resting a hand to her forehead. His eyes opened in brief surprise for a moment before narrowing in complete annoyance, "You have to be kidding… It actually worked."

Closing her eyes and shrugging peacefully, Katsuragi chirped, "Never misjudge the power of knowing one another's preferences for tits and ass." But, as she went to continue, the young man pulled out all of the distortion from her. Her reaction was similar to Murasaki's, albeit with a bit more fidgeting.

At first, the young man feared that Katsuragi was having some sort of seizure with how shaky she was becoming. So, when her body rested to the floor and she looked up to him, he took a second to let out a sigh of relief. Afterwards, he asked the girl as he leaned his hand toward her head, "Alright, I'll neutralize-," before he was cut off by her reaching her hands up to aggressively grab his shoulders. Before he had even the opportunity to resist, the young man was pulled down and enveloped into a tight embrace with Katsuragi digging her chin into his shoulder as she also wrapped her legs around his hips. While the boy's face contorted with visible discomfort, hers was more at peace and only lacked the radiant smile he commended her for moments ago. From there, they didn't move at all.