After Zoro, Sanji also went and got changed into his pajamas. He sat on the couch as he waited for Zoro. He knew that this was going to be sad, nothing about Zoro being in that crappy orphanage was ever good. He knew that he'll be feeling sorry and sad that Zoro had to go through anything he's about to tell him.
Zoro came out and sat on the couch next to Sanji. "I don't hate Christmas." Zoro says again.
"As you've said." Sanji nods.
"It's just, I don't want to celebrate it."
"Why?"
Zoro groans and rolls his eyes. "Where do I begin?" Zoro says sarcastically. "First of all I don't want Megumi believing in some fat old guy sneaking around our home leaving present for her. I also don't want to guilt trip her into being nice."
"But-"
"No." Zoro interrupts him firmly. "If Megumi is doing something nice for someone it's because she knows right from wrong not because she expects a lot of presents on Christmas, or even her birthday." Zoro says frowning.
"You seem to be very... adamant about this." Sanji points out.
"That's because..." Zoro looks at Sanji then away rubbing the back of his neck. He doesn't really like talking about his memories but if it makes Sanji drop this then so be it. "When I was young, after Kuina and learning that I'll never celebrate my birthday I thought maybe I'll get something that I wanted, asking the caretakers never worked so Christmas was my last chance. It was a... limited edition item but I wanted it. So like all the other kids I asked... Santa." Zoro says with a blush. Sanji frowned, he could already tell where this is going and if he didn't he would have thought that the idea of Zoro believing Santa is adorable but not right now.
"You didn't get it." It wasn't a questions, it is a statement.
"No. I did not. I wasn't the only one upset. There were a lot of smaller kids. We were all told that if we were good boys and girls we'll get what we want. So we all did what we were told, did our chores, listened in class, never got in trouble and that morning we all woke up hoping to see lights, a tree with presents under and a feast. We didn't get any of that. And like always I had to sacrifice my meal for the younger ones, what little I already had. That wasn't the end of it. I was upset, as I should be, I thought that maybe I wasn't good enough that year. Maybe I should be better. I volunteered for a lot of things, did other kids chores, didn't eat for a long time so some of the other kids could. I helped anyone I saw on the streets, helped hurt animals, got the best grades and was the model student at school. But again, I didn't get what I asked for." Zoro sighs, embarrassed he was such a child in believing Santa is real. "That's when the caretaker I've talked about, the one that was nice to me and cared for me, told me Santa wasn't real. Being the child I was didn't believe her. Then at school as I was helping the smaller kids at school a bunch of bullies came and started harassing us, saying unwanted kids don't get visits from Santa. I tried to comfort the crying kids but it didn't help that I couldn't answer their questions so they ended up crying. And the asshole was so smug so I let go and beat the crap out of him. That was the day I stopped believing in Santa." Zoro says.
"I see." Sanji whispers as he lowers his head.
"I don't hate Christmas but I don't want Megumi to have the same thinking I do and get disappointed like I was."
"What if I were to get her gifts?"
"I don't care as long as you don't tell her that it was Santa or that it was because she was good. Tell her you got the gift for her. The truth." Zoro says pointing a firm glare at Sanji, the blonde just nods. He could do that.
"So you don't want to bribe her?" Sanji asks. Zoro just nods.
"Yeah. If she believed that Santa would give her more presents if she was good then she'll believe she'll get rewarded if she's good. But that's not how the real world works. Plus, I knew that I wouldn't always be able to give her the typical Christmas, that and I was saving money. I was able to buy her more things she wanted or needed because I wasn't paying for decoration and wrapping paper." Zoro says as he gets up from the couch. "I'm going to bed, see you in the morning." Zoro waves bye then goes to his room.
"Good night." Sanji says with a wave of his own, watching Zoro leave. After a second in the silence he stands up and turns off the lights and makes his way to his room. He lay in bed ready to fall asleep but he couldn't help but think about what Zoro had said. He's glad Zoro told him, they were getting more honest with each other. No more secrets. It still sucked to hear about it.
He felt sorry for Zoro and those kids. The fact that they were told that and still didn't get anything hurt. Even Zeff got him some things, thought they never decorated the house they did decorate the restaurant. Since it was always busy with customers, they never celebrated Christmas in the typical sense.
As an adult though he was able to celebrate the way he wanted to. He understood where Zoro was coming from on not wanting to bribe Megumi into being a good person. He never got gifts every Christmas either but Zeff tried to sometimes, but Sanji always got what he wanted or needed. He also didn't want to bribe Megumi with Christmas, if anything it should be a holiday to be able to spend with your loved ones. It shouldn't be about the present and what you got.
Poor Zoro had to go through all that. He won't let it show but he couldn't stop his feelings, he felt sorry for him. He wants to give Zoro what he didn't have as a child.
