Chapter dedication to Orochi-Dragon14, retired-fangirl (a treat for whever you get to this chappie, dear!), and irishmacaroon!
Lyrics interspersed throughout chapter: "Star Sky" by Two Steps from Hell, "Worth It" by Beth Crowley, "Hand of Sorrow" by Within Temptation, "Grow As We Go" by Ben Platt, "Flowers for a Ghost" by Thriving Ivory, "Carry You" by Ruelle
Burn the page for me
I cannot erase the time of sleep
I cannot be loved, so set me free
I cannot deliver your love
Or caress your soul, so
Turn that page for me
I cannot embrace the touch that you give
I cannot find solace in your words
I cannot deliver you your love
Or caress your soul
Chapter 60: Anymore
(Yami's POV)
"This is ridiculous."
Half-listening to Mahaado's unremitting grumbling, I follow him down the hallway. He keeps his hand on my shoulder. Over the last few hours he's been gradually replenishing my energy, healing me to the point where I can walk on my own. Also, he's currently rendering the both of us invisible. It's unnerving. Nothing looks different as when I'm a fully perceptible person. The first time a nurse passes by I simply stop and wait for him to run into us. He doesn't, uknowingly taking a step to the side and passing by without incident.
"The sooner we get this over with the sooner we can go," I remind Mahaado, whispering despite myself.
He's convinced me. Not that it took much. Rather, it's something I've longed for but didn't know I could have.
"There's no need for a conversation. I can make him do whatever you wish. We could grab him and leave now. Why should his opinion matter?"
I squint at him through my mostly healed eyes.
"Mahaado, I'm not going to let you kidnap him."
"This is more than just life or death," he argues. "If he comes with you now, you could always speak on his behalf prior to his Judgement."
"You're getting so perturbed you'd suggest I could beg pardon on his behalf?" My bruised lips twitch. "This has gotten very serious indeed."
He stops.
"You're mocking me."
"Just a little."
"Well what would you have me say? You're still attached to him."
"I'm not."
Eyes that might have no limitations pierce me. We stop in front of another door. I'm held back by Mahaado's hand as I try to lean in to see. His fingers tighten on my shoulder past the point of human strength and I gasp. Immediately he loosens his hold, though it's still strong enough that I don't pull against his grip for fear of having my shoulder dislocated.
"Mahaado. It's all right. I know this is difficult since he killed you…"
"He didn't kill me."
Mahaado is bristling at the very notion. The air around us crackles. I resist the impulse to roll my sore eyes.
"This isn't about pride, Mahaado. It's just you and me."
"You think I'd let that lowlife thief best me?"
Mahaado doesn't ease up. I realize he's not going to. Is this really something that hurts his pride or…? My ribcage feels like its caving in on my chest cavity. I stare at my former priest in horror as the clarity is coming.
"You're saying…?"
"I allowed myself to die. It had to be done one way or another before the Magician's Training Ground was destroyed. I sealed myself so I could aid you later. There was only one end after that, regardless of who or what did it. Between the thief's Shadow jackals and Seini flooding the cavern…either would finish the job just fine."
"Seini."
It's my turn to bristle. Damn that man!
"It's done, Pharaoh. What does it matter how I died?"
'Because Bakura didn't do it!' I want to scream. 'And all this time I blamed him for your death! How many other things have I hoisted on Bakura that weren't his sins to carry?'
I don't dare say it. My former priest fears the thief. Fears Bakura will convince me not to go. I don't see it as being a problem. Bakura tried to kill himself just earlier this summer. He was done. He couldn't take it anymore. This will come as a relief to him.
I try to steady myself. The thief and I haven't had a moment alone. We have both made sure of that. But the battles have been fought. The dust has settled. That means it's time. He tried before, I know that now. At least twice he reached out in these times to see if I was ready. There might even be more that I overlooked.
I'm ready.
"Stand guard here. Unperceived, please. If someone approaches, come into the room and make me invisible again."
I pause as two nurses pass by us, forgetting they cannot observe us.
"Pharaoh, he has the ring. He's the only one with an Item."
"And I have you here," I try for an assured smile but is somehow falls short.
"The thief was your undoing before."
"He was. And I his. But, Mahaado, I sent him here. Him and Malik. That's never rested easy with me. You have to permit me this."
"At least let me get you in the room. There are too many eyes out here."
I consider this. A janitor appears down the hallway, coming in our general direction.
"Fine. But you don't materialize. The last thing I need right now is the two of you squabbling."
I push the door with my left hand, entering the dimly lit room. It's after midnight. The blinds are not substantial, allowing the unnaturally stark artificial light to climb through. I go to shrug off Mahaado, who for some reason hasn't released me yet.
Bakura's glances briefly at the partly open door and then dismisses it when no one comes in. My throat tightens at the bruises marring his face. As my eyes move over him I can barely contain a snarl at the restraints. Just as angry as I am to see it, the sight gives me pause. He's wearing the ring. There's no reason he has to lie there like a captive. Why isn't he doing something about it?
"Well?" Mahaado presses, a fellow specter beside me.
I take a shaky breath and nod. His hand leaves me and I waver. Reddish eyes snap to me and widen. The thief gawks before looking around to try to figure out how I came to be here.
"The hells?"
I regain my composure, his astonishment easing my own misgivings.
"It's all right. I…It's a long story," I decide to go with. "I need to talk to you."
The thief doesn't yell at me to get out. So that's something. The element of surprise has worked in my favor. He studies me dubiously.
"Must be important for you to be walking around like that."
"Like…?"
I look down at myself. I hadn't even considered my appearance. Blackened eye. Bruises all over. My right arm in a sling. Not to mention a hospital gown to complete the look. It's been several days since I've been able to do anything with my hair, either.
"Katsuya told me your whole gang is alive," the thief says when the silence goes on for too long.
I nod, remembering. It was something unprecedented for Bakura and me. So is this.
"That was different—You and I fighting on the same side," I say lightly, trying to set a tone for this conversation.
"You wouldn't have let me before."
There's bite to his comment. It's not undeserved. Still, it gets under my skin.
"It's true," I acknowledge, wondering if this is a record for us in these times being in the same room and not having blown up at one another yet. I choose my words carefully, taking my time despite Mahaado's impatience. "I was trying to protect you."
"More like smother," he gripes. "Forbidding magic. Planning mazes and hidden passages. Entire palaces."
"Jounouchi got the high-rise apartment for the exact same reason."
"No. You got Katsuya the high-rise," he says icily. "For the exact same reason."
"He was overwhelmed! Excuse me for trying to help my friend."
"More like try to get me out of the way. Again."
"Because everything was going perfectly up until then."
His features twist, something of a mix of anger and a grimace. It gives me the opening I've been looking for.
"Look at you," I say gently, motioning to the restraints. "Bakura, you're tied down to a bed. Mr. Mutou told me Ryou's father will be here when you're discharged tomorrow."
He shifts into a sitting position. Somehow, unsurprisingly, he slithers out of the manacles without problem. This done, he folds his arms on his lap, staring me down.
"What's it to you?"
"Do you really think he's taking you to live with him?" I ask, regretting how cruel it sounds, but he needs to understand what he's fighting for if he stays. "You look almost identical to his son. You have their family name as your only name. You claim you're from ancient Egypt…"
"No, I did not. That was your helpful friendship squad!" he snaps.
"Does it matter who said it at this point? It looks like you designed all this, Bakura," I press on, ignoring that outburst. "You look like some sort of brainwashing stalker. This man isn't going to trust you and let you into his home. The only place he'll send you is a psych ward. You'll have to use magic to get out and then you'll be in another mess altogether. Things are about to get harder, not easier, Bakura."
"Since when do you care?" he grounds out, embers reflecting in his eyes.
That catches me off guard. I know the question wasn't meant to be taken seriously. But it stops me dead in my tracks. There are things I would say. I don't know how anymore. The person sitting before me has changed so much and so little. And what about me? I've changed as well. For the better?
The silence has grown uncomfortable. Bakura is rubbing his wrists. I catch when his gaze will dart about, trying to figure out how I got here without an Item. He's already deduced I don't have one by the fact the ring isn't picking up on any in the vicinity.
Better get on with it.
"I've some information new to me. To get to the point: There's a gateway that only I can open. To the Afterlife."
Grey eyebrows disappear into his bangs. This was not what he was expecting me to say.
"…What?"
"It's the pharaoh's power, passed down by the tomb keepers," I say, not wanting to disclose who gave me this information. That would send things into a nosedive fast.
"Okay. Why the hells are you telling me?"
I place my hand down on the edge of the bed, weakening fast. I knew this was a risk coming so soon after what I've endured. The things Honda and Mr. Mutou discussed regarding Ryou's father settled the decision for me. It's why I had to put a rush on this. There are many things the thief deserves. Being locked up again is not one of them. Three thousand years was more than enough.
"Look at where we are, what happened to Jounouchi, Ryou and the rest of my friends. Hell, look at how many times they've dealt with Shadow Magic just this summer! The amount of peril we put them in-it's not fair, Bakura."
He doesn't argue that. The thief averts his eyes to the Item on his chest.
"If we were to leave—Malik, you and I—there's a chance for our hikaris and my friends. There's a chance for a safe life. A more normal life."
What I would have given for such an opportunity in the past. I would kid myself to say I ever had such now. Ever since I awakened there have been foes and Shadow battles where my friends were harmed and used as pawns in others' sick games.
"What happened the other day was Katsuya using an Item all on his own," Bakura points out, not exactly disagreeing.
"We have all seven now," I reply smoothly, growing more confident that he's not really protesting. "I'll give them to Marik's family. Have them bury the things away and make sure no one can get their hands on them." I wait a moment, noting the worry knotting between his eyes.
"Those aren't my gods. They're yours, if they even exist."
"They do. If I can make certain you will be safe there will you come?" I wonder as to what is holding him back, deciding to give another nudge. "Bakura, it's for the best. Jounouchi will be all right. The others can look after him now that they know about his father. He'll be better off."
When he looks at me again it's a full-out glare.
"This isn't some childish crush."
"I didn't say it wa-."
"What the hells happened? Who got to you?"
"What is that supposed to mean? Is it so awful that I am ready to rest? Ready for the traumas to be over? I don't understand why you're opposed to this after what you did earlier this summer-."
"Don't." The word is quiet, but is backed up by all of the pent up rage. "You of all people don't get to bring that up and hold it over my head."
"We don't belong here, Bakura."
"Fuck that. I've never belonged anywhere!"
The anguish and fury mesh, threatening to boil over. He's clinging to the Jou like a lifeline. It bothers me. And that, in turn, troubles me. I try to conjure a memory where he was so protective of me. There are many. So that's not it.
It bothers me he's acting the same way about Jounouchi.
"I'm staying."
It's not what I was expecting. Is it? Some resistance I was prepared for. But this?
"Have you listened to a word I've said? Do you want what's best for Jou?"
"He wants me here," he retorts, and adds almost inaudibly. "I promised."
That hurts.
"Because you've such a good track record for keeping your word."
"Did you ever really trust me?" he asks fiercely. "Look me in the eye and tell me you trusted me."
"I loved you."
I love you.
Bakura shakes his head and winces, dirty off-white hair falling into his face.
"Those are two different things. Was there ever a time when you didn't have nagging suspicions? That, even if you didn't know everything about me, you were fine being blissfully ignorant? You were always getting on my case about quitting tomb robbing and going to the desert. You wanted to keep me from magic and from being anything other than a companion. You even had Mahaado keep tabs on me."
"What about you?" I counter defensively out of habit, feeling Mahaado shift somewhere beside me at the mention of his name.
"I never told you about Malik. Or awakening my ka. Or a million other things." He leans his head back on his pillow, mulling over it. "No. I didn't trust you. Not wholly. Given the circumstances, I don't think it was possible."
I want to get on my knees and remind him we are not in ancient Egypt anymore. That he's not a phantom and I'm not a pharaoh. We're just two people trapped in the wrong time. Again.
He didn't kill Mahaado. Gods, what else did I get wrong? How many times did he try to reach me and I didn't know him? Or I wasn't ready to come to terms with who he was and what had occurred between us? I can openly stare at him while he looks toward the window. That same flame is there in my chest. It's just a small flicker, barely alive. An ember that was never quite extinguished despite all of my efforts. It's there. The yearning to protect him. To make everything right. I still feel for him. Still care. I might even…
"He loves me. He trusts me. He forgave me. And I don't deserve it." Bakura raises his head and bares his teeth. "And I sure as hell am not going to break my promise and abandon him because you think it's 'for the best'."
That's it? That's all? Hasn't he been listening to a word I've said?
What about me?
"Think about it. Really sit with this, Bakura. Maybe you'll feel differently when you're being taken to a padded cell and drugged with antipsychotics."
"Get. Out. Of. Here."
"I'll ask you again after whatever happens happens. You may change your mind."
"I said get out!" he screams, surging to his feet in a torrent of blue flames.
I hold out my hand to nothing. Bakura's eyes are blazing as he taps into the Millennium ring.
"I'm ready," I murmur in ancient Egyptian.
Mahaado takes my hand and I'm gone.
I gasp as the thief collapses to his hands and knees. He groans, pressing his face onto the floor. His Shadow aura evaporates into thin air. Then he falls onto his side, pushing the heels of his hands against his eyes.
Mahaado's grip is firm when I make to go to the thief.
"Someone is coming."
It shouldn't matter. If they found me here would it be so strange? I'm a patient, too. It would explain how he's out of bed. I could have unstrapped him. I want to go to him. I'm partially to blame. Maybe I pushed him too hard.
Mahaado does not relinquish his hold.
"He chose to stay. This is what he has to cope with. You have to let him, Pharaoh."
The door opens.
"Bakura? Oh my goodness! How did you get out of bed?"
"You cannot save him."
I let Mahaado take me away. I don't try to go to Bakura. I let him lie there; let someone else try to fix him.
(Bakura's POV)
Shadow Magic was a very bad idea. I groan, pressing my head to the cool tile and fighting a wave of nausea. Shit shit shit. I curl onto my side, pushing the heels of my hands against my forehead, trying to force the pain out.
The door opens.
"Bakura? Oh my goodness! What…?"
"Hold on, Nurse Emi!" a second voice cautions. "Remember what happened earlier."
"Of for goodness sake, the poor thing's on the floor!" the first person snaps. A moment later a hand is on my shoulder. "Bakura? Sweetie, did you hit your head?"
"No," I mumble, too rattled to fight her on the 'sweetie'.
"All right then. Can you look at me?" Warm hands peel my fists away from my face. I blink blearily at the middle-aged night nurse in the horrid light flooding in from the hall. She holds up a digit. "Follow my finger with your eyes for me."
I comply as she holds onto me to keep me from crumpling again. After a few seconds of my looking in all different directions she seems satisfied.
"Do you think you can stand if we help you?"
"Don't know," I answer mechanically, feeling dizzy.
"Nurse Akio, get in here."
"But he's supposed to be…the restraints…"
"Now." She smiles at me warmly. "All right, we're going to lift you up. If you get woozy just put your head on my shoulder."
I remain limp as they hoist me from under the arms and all but carry me back to the bed. The second one keeps muttering under his breath about 'dangerous' and 'lawsuits'. The female shushes him. Once I'm on my back she pulls out a device they explained earlier was to check blood pressure and straps it around my upper arm.
"Let's put on the restraints already…"
"One thing at a time. We're doing fine right now, aren't we?" she asks me with a smile. I can't see it because my eyes are shut to ward off the hall light but I can hear it in her voice. "Nurse Akio, go and get some pain medication. He's about due for another dose anyway."
"I'm not leaving you alone with…"
"Go."
The little sink in the corner is running. Then a wet cloth is placed on my forehead. I moan in relief as it lessens the pounding in my temples. The thing on my arm squeezes tightly then slowly releases in a series of pulses.
"I heard you yelling. Luckily you did or we wouldn't have come so fast," the nurse says as Velcro rips and she pulls the blood pressure device from my arm. "A bit high. What happened? You were resting well last time I peeked in."
"I'm cold," I whisper, trying to explain to her and myself why I'm trembling so badly.
The blankets Katsuya collected for me earlier are spread over me one after the other. I can't stop shaking. The nurse presses a button on the intercom she has attached to her shirt and speaks into it.
"Could you bring a warmed blanket on your way back?"
"Sure," it crackles.
"There. Pain meds and toasty blankets. We'll have you feeling better in no time," she chirps as she adjusts the cloth on my head. "Can't have you getting hurt when you're so close to going home, can we?"
I swallow hard. Pharaoh's words repeat in my head. I can't convince myself he was wrong about hikari's father.
"Sweetie, are you all right? Is this about your dad?" When I don't answer because I don't know how to answer, she presses: "Do you feel safe going home with him?"
"I just…" I trail off helplessly.
I just want to belong somewhere.
Why can't anything ever be easy? Yami offered me what I was craving earlier this summer. If he had back then, I would have done it regardless of if they were his gods or someone else's. Only now I couldn't accept it. If I was on my own doing skag and nobody caring, hells yes. But…Katsuya…hikari…Malik…
…and me. I want more. I don't even know what. But I want it. I just don't know if I can ever have it.
"Hey, easy now." I flinch when her thumb rubs along my cheek, taking away wet with it. "Your dad told us he hasn't seen you in a long time. That you ran away and got into drugs after your mom and sister died." I don't respond in any way to that, not having heard his explanation of me before. "If you don't want to go home, we can figure out something else. You just let me know if we need to do that, all right?"
"No," I say, partly so she'll stop touching me. "I-I need to try."
"Okay," she says, note quite satisfied with that answer. "So…how did you get out of those cuffs?"
"S'not hard," I mumble tiredly.
That earns a single, quick laugh. I peer up at her round face warily. She seems amused, not upset in the least.
"Twenty years on the job and your my first who's managed to get all four off. We'll just say you were sleepwalking and can't recall. How about that?" She writes something on the clipboard that hangs off the front of the bed. "We will have to put them back on."
"Okay."
She frowns at that but goes to the foot of the bed and starts adjusting the padded manacle around my right ankle. I'm too weary to argue. Too drained. And it would just make trouble. Katsuya would be upset. He'd beat himself up for having left me.
A new fear arises in me at the thought of when she leaves. Is Pharaoh coming back? Katsuya had mentioned Shaddi before. Is that who got this whole Afterlife thing going? The way Yami was talking, whose idea is this really? The fact that he came to ask me…someone else doesn't want me here anymore.
"So what happened?" the nurse asks. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"Yeah."
Sure. Why not? Seems as good an explanation as any rather than my ancient ex appeared at my bedside and offered a sort of supernatural suicide pact.
"I can get something to help you sleep."
"No," I say hoarsely, the weight of the Millennium ring on my chest. I'm too afraid to sleep now.
But just 'cause I'm not saved
In all the ways a person thinks I should be
Doesn't mean I don't care if there's somewhere
That might save a little room for me
So I'm not lonely
(Jounouchi's POV)
I practically am skipping down the hall with Mr. B following. No one stops me this time. I don't have to hide or dodge around carts and work stations. I don't have to worry about dad being here or what people's plans are for me.
I knock on the door and barge in. My sneakers squeak as I stop.
There's someone sitting in a chair beside Baku's bed. It's a middle-aged woman with greying hair. She's wearing a nurse's uniform. I start when I see she's holding Baku's hand. She turns and smiles, the nametag on her chest reading "Emi".
"Good morning," she greets softly and I see the yami is dozing.
"Did something happen?" Mr. B asks.
"He had an episode of sorts. Possibly a night terror. I found him on the floor shaken up pretty badly. Don't worry," she adds when she sees the horror on my face, "He wasn't hurt. And he didn't give anyone any problems. They already did the scans. He's cleared to go. The results came just as my shift ended. Then he just seemed so distraught I thought I'd sit here until he fell asleep…" She looks at the clock and becomes startled. "Two hours ago. Oh my. I have lost track of time."
She stands up, picking up her purse from the floor.
"Can these come off now?" I ask, running my finger over the restraint on his right wrist.
"At this point I don't see why not. I'll mention on the way out that you're ready to take him home. They'll bring the paperwork."
She smiles at Baku and nods to me. To Mr. B she says:
"You have a good young man there. I can tell. He just needs some patience and compassion."
It's hard for me to work at the padded restraints with my burned, bandaged hands. While I'm scrabbling with it Bakura moans, stirring.
"Hey you," I say running the back of my hand against his cheek. "I'm back, just like I said."
The yami blinks at me with groggy eyes.
"Hey," he croaks.
"They said these could come off now. I was just working on…" He moves his limbs just slightly and suddenly his hands and probably his feet are freed. "Oh. Well there you go then."
"How did…?" Mr. B stutters, coming a bit closer.
I snicker but don't bother with trying to explain it to him. It shouldn't surprise me that the king of thieves could get out of them whenever he wanted. He bruises easily, so the fact he's not sporting any new marks is good.
Nurse Emi just smiles knowingly as I help him sit up.
"Good to see you awake, Bakura. Take it easy when you get home, all right?"
I want to ask him what happened; how he got someone on his side. What the hell he was doing on the floor. If he was trying to run away again. But he doesn't act upset to see me. He just seems nervous.
"I brought you some of your clothes from your suitcase."
"My…"
He immediately becomes ashamed and repentant. So much has happened since he tried to run away.
"It's okay. Just don't do that again." I brush some greasy locks out of his eyes. "Lemme help you get dressed and we can get you out of here."
"…where?"
It's said so quietly, in such a small un-Bakura voice that I almost miss it. I notice the way his shoulders are hunched as he draws into himself. At his center is the ring. He's trying to keep ahold of his flight or fight response. I know him well enough to see how scared he is.
"Where am I going?" he asks when no one answers.
"To Mr. B's apartment," I say and then remember what he doesn't know: "I'm coming too. I'm gonna be staying with him. With you. How 'bout that?"
The thief's eyes widen. He looks back and forth slowly between me and Mr. B, searching our faces for any traces of a lie. I can't blame him. It sounds too good to be true.
"You're not locking me up?"
The man's expression becomes grave. The question bothers him. He most likely weighed the option of doing just that. Of sending Baku away from Ryou. Of not having to deal with the yami, a teenager with more problems than he knows what to do with.
"No. I thought we would try this instead," Mr. B says. "What do you think?"
The yami releases a shuddering breath and sags in my hold. I quickly wrap my arms around him, bringing his face to the nape of my neck. He stays there, trembling, pale fingers clutching the front of my shirt. I share a look with Mr. B who is just as surprised and worried by this reaction.
"Bakura?"
"I-I thought…"
"You were wrong," I cut him off, not wanting him to dwell on it a moment longer. "You're coming home with us. And when Ry gets out, he'll be there too. Nobody is getting locked up or thrown away. Okay?"
The top of his head brushes against my chin as he nods. He moves his neck in a way that I can tell he's looking up at Mr. B to be sure this is all like I'm saying.
"Okay."
"All right then," Mr. B announces loudly in a way to say it's finalized. "I'm going to go get those papers so we don't have to wait. Jounouchi, I'll leave you in charge of helping him get changed. I'll be back when everything is ready and I'll drop you both at the apartment."
"Sure thing, Mr. B."
He leaves, glancing back momentarily at the yami as if he isn't quite sure what he's seeing. Baku doesn't move, tucked comfortably against me even after we are alone. As nice as this is, we can't sit like this for long.
"Mr. B?" Baku asks sardonically.
"You want me callin' him 'Mr. Bakura'? Yeah, I didn't think so," I laugh and pull back from him so he has to support himself. "All right, we gotta get moving."
"What's the rush?"
"He's just driving us to the apartment. I haven't been yet. Spent last night at the Mutou's," I say, fumbling with my stiff fingers to get the fabric ties on the back of his gown undone. "Mr. B's gonna come back here for the day to be with Ryou."
"How long is hikari going to be here?"
"I'm not sure. I've sorta been focusing on me an' you. Have you two been able to talk through your link?"
"No. He's too far away."
The yami shrugs out of the thin fabric. I scrounge through the plastic bag of clothes I threw together from Baku's suitcase, handing off some boxers. I hold onto his shoulder while he pulls each piece of clothing on. As the shirt goes over his head I catch the faint glow from the Millennium ring replenishing his energy after this overexertion. Once he's dressed, I wrap an arm around him and pull him back to me. He sighs, sinking against my skin as I lean my back against the uncomfortable hospital pillow.
"Did you really think I was going to let them take you away?" I murmur into his hair.
"I don't know. My mind's all over the place." He presses his forehead against my throat. "It was a bad night."
"Well it's okay now. No more nights alone or being tied up…unless we wanna try that sometime," I add, only half-joking.
"Yes, bondage in his home is an excellent way to fall into hikari's father's good graces."
"I was just putting it out as a possibility," I grin.
I'm just over the moon that Baku didn't outright refuse Mr. B's invitation. I had no idea what his reaction would be. I mean, before I took the key, he was trying to run off on his own. After our most recent talk I had the gut feeling that he's gonna stick around.
"So…I take it you're moving in has to do with me."
"Guessed right. I'm the buffer. He seems to like me okay. To be honest, I think you intimidate him a bit. He's confused when we've talked about you."
"You told him about me?"
"Well yeah. Not the ancient Egypt stuff or murdering or magic…but somehow I found something to talk about," I tease. "Why?"
"The rest of your stupid group told him all of that shit."
"Oh."
"Oh? That's all you have to say?"
"Well, I mean, it explains why Anzu complained he was interrogating her."
Baku shifts on my chest.
"You mean he didn't ask you?"
"Nope. Maybe he hinted to see if I'd go into it. I didn't realize that's what he was tryin' to do at the time."
"So, what do I do?"
The anxiety is back as his fingers dig into my arm that's around his waist. I squeeze him just a little snugger as I think about it.
"I told him not to bring up your past. He seems the type of guy to respect a request like that. It's not like you talk about ancient Egypt anyway. Though you are gonna have to try to not use magic around Mr. B if you want him to leave all that alone."
Bakura settles down and doesn't ask anything else. We both know Mr. B would rather just have his own kid and not two extras who have already gotten into a lot of trouble and come with plenty of emotional baggage. I send a silent thanks to Ryou for making it possible for us to have this chance.
"Do I have to call him Mr. B?"
So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have passed, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?
(Anzu's POV)
I sit in silence watching the two of them sleep. I don't know why, but Yami seems drained today. He is also low in spirits. I can't understand why. I thought he would be excited or at least relieved Yugi is coming home. He claimed he didn't rest well last night. I'm wondering if the Dark Magician has anything to do with it.
So here I am, alone with Yami and Marik. It would be boring but for the fact that the Dark Magician is being a creeper in the corner, disappearing conveniently whenever any nurses or other hospital staff step in to check on Yami or Marik. I don't like him. Don't like the way he can talk to Yami and no one else can understand. While Yami has apologized for the duel monster's behavior, I can tell he has feelings for him. It's hard to figure out whether Yami is happy his former priest is here or not. The Dark Magician has made it clear he doesn't like any of us. No, that's not right. He could care less that the rest of us exist.
I check the time on my phone. In an hour the patients' rooms will be closed to visitors. I suppose it won't matter too much for them if they run late. They do have the Millennium rod, after all. Is it horrible of me that I'm glad they're bringing the mind control Item? It's been such a pain in the ass trying to navigate everything without the Items.
The Dark Magician shifts. His eyes of light become fixated on something beyond the walls. It's the same intensity of a cat that has locked onto a target. His gaze moves slowly, tracking his prey's movement. That's as good a signal as any as far as I'm concerned.
Should I wake them? Marik hasn't been able to stay awake for long. It's part of the reason they're coming so soon. Aside from their wanting to be with him, he would definitely benefit from having an Item to wear and help him heal. I'm worried about what the Dark Magician did to him. I wonder if Yami knows what the akh did or how serious it really is.
"Yami."
The Dark Magician breaks his concentrated glare on the approaching group long enough to direct it at me. I match the look tenfold, crossing my arms over my chest while deliberately scooting my chair closer to Yami's bed. At some point we're going to cross the line to the point where he does give a damn about the rest of us, and not in a good way.
"Yami," I say louder, all the while having a staring contest that's causing my eyes to water given the intensity of his gaze. "Yugi's here."
He stirs, groaning in protest. Confusion muddles his features when he looks about.
"Where?"
"They might be in the building. Maybe not yet. Ask him."
He does. The Dark Magician is back to watching Yugi and company approaching. I'm not sure who he is most unhappy to see. From the little I've heard, it doesn't sound like things went well between him and Marik's yami and family. Then again, I'm still betting on Yugi because the Dark Magician has to obey him. That really pissed him off before.
He answers Yami's question stiffly. Then his eyes narrow even further. Somehow, he sees something that his disapproves of even more than he already did. He speaks in a low tone.
For the first time, Yami reacts. He exclaims something loudly in ancient Egyptian, bolting up in bed. This is followed by a yelp as he jars his broken arm in its sling.
"Yami? What happened?"
"That son of a bitch!" he grounds out. Thankfully, he doesn't have any Millennium Items.
…Yugi and the others have them. Oh shit. I'm guessing our friend has shared them amongst the tomb keepers. No. It's something more. While that would perturb Yami, it wouldn't rile this reaction from him.
"Yami, what's he said? What's wrong? Yami, look at me!"
He jolts. I shiver at the look he gives me. He's seeing red, completely incensed. That gives me pause as I draw back. It has to be more than Just the Dark Magician's opinion on something. It has to be something big enough to make Yami want to commit murder.
The Dark Magician speaks again, fervently, as if begging Yami to give him permission to do something. I reach out and take hold of Yami's hand that is outside of the sling his arm is in. I apply pressure until he looks at me and actually sees me this time. He swallows his anger, though it's brimming at the surface, ready to show itself at any moment.
"Look at me. Talk to me," I encourage him, wanting to draw his attention away from the Dark Magician and whatever fool decision he could make in a moment of rage. "What did he tell you just now?"
God, I can feel him shaking. I look to the Dark Magician, but this time I'm too afraid to even be mad. What on earth is going on? Yami knew they were bringing the Items with them. He knew Malik and the others were coming with Yugi. Marik is, after all, being kept in the same room as him. Thanks to the Millennium rod's influence, we haven't been able to convince the hospital staff that they don't need to be roomed together any longer.
"Yugi," my friend chokes out. "He's somehow influenced Yugi!"
(Yugi's POV)
"How are you feeling?" I ask quietly so it doesn't draw the others' attention.
"You can already tell that without asking me," the yami replies tensely.
He's a bundle of nerves. Both of us are. Rishid is as well. He's mostly kept himself occupied in questioning Isis every ten minutes to make sure she didn't have an aneurysm or something on the plane. Since it was a thirteen hour flight that has left her in the most delightful mood.
We are following a doctor who is discussing Marik's care with Isis. Rishid keeps interrupting to ask questions. Malik stays back with me, letting the siblings handle it. It doesn't really surprise me. He would have taken charge if he had the rod. The yami isn't exactly eager to have to speak with people who he's not controlling.
After debating amongst Marik's siblings, it was agreed I would carry the Millennium rod since I already have learned how to use it a bit. Plus it would make Yami and the others less hostile toward him. Malik didn't try for the rod, didn't request or demand it. Isis, of course, has the necklace. Rishid has the Millennium eye in his pocket. The broken puzzle and the scales are in an oversized purse that Rishid is carrying for his sister much to her annoyance. Malik has the key.
"I can sense Yami!" I sputter suddenly and everyone turns to look at me.
Isis clears her throat and acts as though nothing happened, encouraging the doctor to continue. He sends me an odd look but gestures for us to follow him once more.
"Can you talk to him yet?" Malik asks.
"No. Don't worry. They're being kept in a completely different wing of the hospital. I'll have time to break things to him long before…" I stop and gape at the yami in horror. "Wait. Can you sense him, too?"
He inclines his head.
"It's very faint. Then again, I'm expecting it. He isn't."
"You're saying he doesn't know?"
"I'm not a mind reader."
"Sorry," I mutter, having to work my legs double-time to catch up with Marik's siblings who didn't stop this second outburst. "I just want to ease him into the idea. Hey, what if I do a spell before we go in there? Get them to move Marik to a different room so you don't have to…?"
"That lot won't wait for that plan." Malik visibly shudders. "Anyway, I think you're in range."
"All right. Wish me luck."
((Yami?))
It feels like years have passed since I could feel him, talk to him. Hell, the last thing he said to me was an apology for dying and not being able to save us. I'm eager to hear him say something—anything else—just so those will no longer be tagged in my mind as his final words.
((Yami?)) I try again, offering an apologetic smile to Malik who's cringing.
Rishid had said he used to be able to feel when Malik and Marik were using their mind link if he was close enough to them physically. Adding into the mix how hypersensitive Malik's senses are right now and I can't help but feeling sorry for this.
"He's not answering—"
(Yugi!)
I nearly cover my ears before remembering that the shout has nothing to do with our physical bodies. Malik staggers and has to grab the back of one of the chairs we're passing in the atrium in order to keep from collapsing. Rishid is suddenly with us, seeming to know without asking what is going on.
((Yami, I'm on my way up. I don't know if they told you, but Malik, Rishid and Isis are with me.))
(I'm sending Mahaado.)
((What? No! I don't want to see him. Why would you send…?)) My throat tightens as I watch Rishid grab Malik's shoulder to make sure he doesn't topple over.
"I'm sorry," I say hurriedly. "He knows. I think the Dark Magician told him."
"Go figure," Rishid grumbles.
((Yami, we'll talk about this when I get up there.))
(Can he hear us? How did he fasten himself to you?)
((No, he can't hear us. But he can feel our link and it's hurting him right now. And he didn't 'fasten' himself to me. I did the spell. I made the call.))
Silence on the other end of our connection as he grapples with that statement. Isis and the doctor have returned. Rishid is hastily claiming jet lag on Malik's behalf.
((No more questions. No more arguments until I get to the room. We have people here that I need to act normal around and I can't do it with you bombarding me with questions and threats and causing Malik to react.))
(But…!)
((I'm closing the link. Don't try to pry. Please, Yami. We'll talk. I promise. Just wait.))
(Anzu's POV)
They file inside after the doctor. Yugi's face brightens immediately. He doesn't come running over to us like I thought he would. He remains by the door, letting the others come in. I want to be so happy. Instead, I watch Yami. He's somber. Suspicious.
Isis and Rishid don't pay any mind to us, bee-lining straight for their brother. They look harried like people who have gone through Shadow fights will do. The doctor could easily attribute it to the long flight here. I wait with bated breath.
Malik is the last of their group. He looks like he hasn't slept in a week. His eyes are sunken in, shadows lining his features. He doesn't carry himself like he used to, all confident and menacing. Instead there is a wary, quiet air about him. As if a strong wind could blow him into fragments.
I keep ahold of Yami's hand.
Yugi murmurs something to Malik that I can't catch. Then he comes towards us alone. The ex-tomb keeper casts a guarded look at Yami before heading for his hikari's bed. Yami's gaze follows him.
"No mind link right now. He can't handle it," is the first thing out of Yugi's mouth.
"That's how you say hello after Yami died?" I demand. "Not 'I missed you' or 'thank god you're alive'. You're acting like Malik's your new yami!"
"Anzu," Yami chastises quietly. "I need to speak to Yugi alone, please."
"But they're here!" I complain pointing at the misfit family huddled around Marik's slumbering form.
"Anzu, please," Yugi entreats as well.
"You left us," I say shakily, clutching Yami's hand all the tighter. "We didn't know what you were doing or if you were okay."
"I had to. I'm sorry I didn't explain. There wasn't time and I knew…I knew you wouldn't have let me go off alone with Shaddi."
"Damn right I wouldn't have! Do you know what's gone on since you've been gone? With Honda? With Jou and Bakura? With Ryou's father?"
"Some. I talked to Grandpa earlier yesterday. It's another reason I wanted you to stay in Japan. I knew you'd look out for them."
I can't quite decide how to feel about that. Should I be pleased that he entrusted the others' welfare to me or offended that he kept me in the dark about all of this?
"You're sorry? So both of you stop trying to kick me out. Stop pushing us aside when we can help!"
That earns a wince of a smile from him.
"You're right. That wasn't fair. I'm sorry."
Movement in my peripheral vision causes me to look toward Marik's bed. Rishid is supporting Marik's head while Malik slips the Millennium key's rope over it. Isis is reaching back to undo the ties on the necklace but her brother impedes her with a word. The stitches on the back of her scalp are testament to the fight she put up. My gaze returns to Malik as he tenderly threads his fingers through his hikari's hair, murmuring something.
"So what exactly did the Dark Magician tell you?" Yugi asks, following my line of vision.
"That Malik had somehow attached himself to you," I say when Yami doesn't answer, still honed in on the other dark.
"Did he mention that Marik and Malik are no longer connected?" Yugi asks with a quivering voice.
"Yes. Marik has already been told that as well. And that Malik is freed from Shadows." Yami looks his hikari up and down, Yugi seeming not too worse for wear. "You've been busy."
"It was the right thing to do, Yami."
"Why does he need someone connected to him?" I ask, keeping my voice hushed. "Is it like a security blanket? He's afraid to be on his own?"
"No. More like a buffer from everything else. All of his senses were infested with shadows for three thousand plus years. Yami, are you all right?"
"I'll live," he says edgily.
"Yami." Yugi steps into his line of vision. "It's okay. He's not going to do anything bad. Look, I even have the rod. Okay?"
"How could you possibly think any of this is okay?" Yami asks softly.
Yugi doesn't flinch back. Instead, he just looks disappointed.
"This is temporary."
"It had better be."
"It is." His tone hardens just a little. "And it wouldn't have been necessary except he needed someone. And since Marik was half-dead from saving us it had to be me."
There's nothing to say to that. The reason we are alive is because of whatever feat Marik and the Dark Magician did. And none of that would have been possible if Malik hadn't summoned the duel monster in the first place.
"What exactly are you planning on telling Marik?" Yami asks instead of fighting Yugi on this. "And your grandfather?"
Yugi becomes sheepish.
"I was sorta thinking we wouldn't tell anyone else but you since you were going to feel him anyway."
"Thanks a heap," I growl.
"Sorry Anzu."
Still cross that he has been deliberately keeping secrets from me and the rest of our friends, I don't really know what to feel. If he says Malik needed his help, I'll believe it. The yami certainly doesn't look well.
"You need to knock it off," I say without a thought in my head. "You called Honda and left without telling anyone you'd done that. Do you realize what that did to me? To Jou?"
"We needed help. And it was time…"
"It wasn't time! We were traumatized and injured. Vulnerable. You had no right to bring Honda in then!"
"He came, didn't he?"
I slump.
"Yes."
"Grandpa says Honda has been helping him."
"He has," I confirm not-completely-reluctantly. "But Yugi, it's not as simple as that. I don't know how to feel about him and he's not going away."
"I know. We'll figure it out now that we're all—Malik?!"
(Malik's POV)
"Go on. I'll try to keep things from getting out of hand over there," the hikari whispers to me.
I meet Pharaoh's eyes. I was expecting the old I'm-going-to-tear-you-limb-from-limb look. I wouldn't have been offended by it. If he had attached to Marik I would have pounced and flat-out murdered him right then and there. But he doesn't act like that. The vibe he's giving off is something else. Confusion? Relief? Concern? Fuck, I already had to do this with hikari's family. Like hell I'm putting up with it from him, too. I break eye contact, trusting his hikari to handle him in whatever way he sees fit.
"I want to sit down and go over everything with you. Everything," Isis is emphasizing to the doctor from the foot of the bed.
Rishid moves over so I can squeeze past him. I stare down my hikari, feeling so hollow to see him but not have any link to my koi. He looks awful. His skin is pallid, an unnatural washed out pallor. There are IVs and beeping machines. He isn't wearing a shirt, a thick layer of bandages covering his chest. A long scab runs the width of his throat where I nearly killed him. The sight of it, how close it was while I was possessed, chills me to my core. It makes me afraid to touch him. He's so fragile. I've never seen him like this before.
"I thought he had the ring," Rishid comments quietly so as not to attract the doctor's attention.
I don't doubt he did. That cut on his neck should not be so healed already. Gods, if he looks this bad after having worn the Item for a least a day or two, what did he look like when they brought him in here?
Isis is keeping the doctor on his toes. I get the impression this isn't an act in order to distract the man. She really wants to know everything they've done for her brother. What the prognosis is.
I pull the cord of the key over my head without a word. Rishid doesn't protest, doesn't say anything. He reaches by me and gently lifts Marik's head so I can get the Item on him.
"Don't," he utters, fixated at once on his sister.
Her determination wavers and she lowers her hands from where they were reaching for the Item around her neck. It's a good call. Hikari wouldn't be pleased to wake up and hear his sister had a brain bleed because she's a stubborn bitch. Though he wouldn't necessarily be surprised.
She goes back to interrogating the doctor. I sigh, reaching out and touching Marik's face. I run my fingers along his skin and up into his hair that is discolored by the debris from my fight and possibly the one he took part in. I try to speak through our link, try to reach him.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, wanting nothing more in this moment than to beg his forgiveness. He didn't want to do this. He pleaded for me not to.
Shadow Ghoul and Yugi both circle about me, keeping Pharaoh at bay. I don't mind Yami. I can barely contain the current of emotions rushing through my system as I stare down at Marik.
"He'll be all right. He's too stubborn not to be," his brother says, trying to sound sarcastic and sure. All I hear is anxiety.
"…I'll have someone bring more chairs so you can all sit," the doctor is saying, edging toward the door to get a moment of peace away from the woman. "I will book some time in my schedule tomorrow for all of us to have a sit down and go over your brother's treatment so far."
"Fine," she says in that way of hers that makes modern mortals feel insignificant, that they have fallen short of her expectations of them. This man is no different. He quickly ducks out of the room. "Where is the ring?"
"We're not sure. It's possible Pharaoh could have had it removed. Though he isn't wearing it either. I'd rather not interrupt them right now," Rishid answers, casting a wary eye at the hikari who is battling to win over his yami and friend. "Besides, Marik has the key now."
"Yes. Thank you, Malik."
I'm ready to argue with her that I didn't do it for her sake. But she knows that and I'm barely hanging on as it is.
"What happened to his chest?" I ask, not recalling that wound. I could have done it. I was definitely capable. A lot of things are a blur. But hurting Marik—I would remember that.
"The doctor said a very strange burn."
"Strange how?" her brother asks.
"He said it goes through the flesh and into the breastbone itself. He also mentioned something about the shape."
We all have a pretty good idea of who is to blame based on what Yugi has told us. Mouth set, Isis comes to the opposite side of the bed as us. Reaching forward, she gently peels back the bandaging.
My world goes red.
"That bastard!" Rishid growls.
"Malik?!" Yugi calls from behind me.
I jump up to get away from hikari. That's all I can do. I'm shaking awfully as my back slams into the wall and I sink to the ground. There are voices around me but I can't comprehend them. I tense up, ready for the explosion. Ready to lose control.
It doesn't happen.
"Malik?" the other hikari asks, much closer than before.
I breathe, fingers fists in my hair as I wait for what I know won't happen but can't quite believe it. It always happens when I become enraged. Every. Fucking. Time.
"Malik, there are no Shadows. You can get mad. You're not a threat to Marik," Yugi is saying aloud the things I am trying to convince myself. "I'm here. You're not going to fall apart. I won't let that happen."
I want to believe him. Damn it.
I flinch involuntarily when he touches my shoulder. Then his side of the link is brimming with tension as well as a familiar aura makes its presence known.
"Get out of here!" Yugi shouts. "Yami, tell him to go away!"
(Yami's POV)
A spike in anger sends my attention back to Malik. I prepare for trouble, ready to call on Mahaado. Then all of his rage is taken over by a tidal wave of panic. I watch in disbelief as Malik staggers away from his hikari and slams into the wall with enough force that his legs give out. Yugi hurries over to him while Rishid approaches carefully. I note the large man isn't worried for his safety; that he seems more concerned about the being he supposedly hates.
Malik is coming close to hyperventilating, raised arms blocking my view of his face. Yugi gets down on the ground beside him and is trying to reassure him.
"What happened?" Anzu asks, standing beside my bed protectively.
I shake my head, unable to form words as I feel Yugi wrapping energy around the ex-tomb keeper like a shield. He reaches out and places a hand on Malik's shoulder, causing the blonde yami to recoil.
Then Mahaado is between us and them. I sit up straighter as Anzu gasps. Yugi, meanwhile, isn't having it.
"Get out of here! Yami, tell him to go away!"
"Mahaado."
"He has no Item. He is weak. Tell that boy to back off so I can finish this."
"You bastard," Rishid repeats, taking a daring step towards the akh; the necklace is glowing at his sister's throat. "You said you would help. What did you do to Marik?"
"What was necessary. Step aside unless you wish to join the traitor in his penalty."
A wall of lavender flames shoot up in the space between them. Rishid springs back. It's not the Dark Magician's powers. It's also not Shadow Magic. I see past Mahaado to Yugi and Malik who are still on the floor. Malik is grasping Yugi's arm, focus centered on Mahaado. Malik's eyes are glowing light that matches the fire.
"Stay the fuck back."
"Mahaado, that is enough," I command even as I try not to gawk at the other yami. "I thought I made myself clear before. You are not going to smite or curse anyone."
The akh twists around in surprise to gape at me. He's shocked that I would stop him in this moment of supposed triumph. I don't pay him attention. Malik and my eyes lock.
The door opens.
Mahaado is gone.
The fire vanishes.
Rishid, Yugi and Anzu look around in confusion as two nurses' aides enter, each carrying a chair under each arm.
"I'm sorry it took us so long. Will these do?"
Isis is the quickest to recover, not missing a beat.
"They will do fine. Thank you. Also, could we get a glass of cool water? My brother is suffering from the effects of the flight and stress. These last few days have been taxing on us all."
It takes me an extra second as one of them goes to get the drink to realize she's referring to Malik. The second aide stays, going through the routine of checking Marik's vitals. It makes for an awkward silence with this intruder in the room. It's not like we can talk about what just happened in front of her. I for one am glad for the reprieve. At least Mahaado had to follow my and Yugi's instruction to remain unseen by the medical staff.
Yugi remains crouched the on the ground beside Malik. The ex-tomb keeper is still looking at me, regaining his breath after the exertion just now. I could speak in ancient Egyptian, ask him so many questions. But he's just recovering his composure. I need a moment to process what I've witnessed. I think I understand it, but I don't know how it could be possible.
"Yami…?" Anzu tugs gently on my fingers.
"Wait," I say under my breath, then add in ancient Egyptian: "Remain concealed, Mahaado. I don't want you coming out for a while until I can sort through this with them."
It isn't fair. He doesn't have a way to respond; at least, not to my knowledge. I can't bring myself to worry about that too much right now.
"Let us know if you need anything else," the aid says, tucking the chart back in the pocket on the bedframe.
Everyone releases a breath once she is gone.
"Where is he?" Rishid demands, ready for Mahaado this time.
"I'm keeping him at bay so we can talk. I am sorry about that. He is quite hell-bent on what he thinks his duties are."
"We appreciate your intervention," Isis states without a hint of gratitude. "Tell me, what exactly did he do to my brother?"
"I've asked him that. He needed energy. He was being depleted quickly in the Shadow Realm."
"So he drained Marik," Rishid says bluntly, eyes practically radiating murder.
"In a manner of speaking. But what did you see that…?"
"The burn," Isis says, her voice taking on a dangerous edge. "It's a handprint. His handprint."
"Oh god," Yugi gasps, glancing at Malik. "Will the ring take care of it?"
"The ring is with the thief," I explain wearily. "He had an altercation with the hospital staff. He'll live," I add wryly when my hikari opens his mouth to ask just that.
"But will Marik be all right?" Yugi presses on Malik's behalf.
"That wound is too deep, too severe," the Isis speaks, morose. "The doctor had told me they were surprised they didn't have to take him to the burn unit. It was already healing. It will scar."
"He's going to love that," Rishid groans, placing his big hand on his brother's forehead.
We can all just imagine how the teen who is obsessed with his figure will feel about a deep scar in the shape of someone he despises hand. It's a branding of sorts. I almost want to ask Mahaado if there is anything he can do to remedy it but I don't think Marik's siblings nor his yami will let the akh anywhere near the hikari. Not that I can blame them in that.
"Excuse me."
We all look at Anzu. I realize she hasn't said anything since trying to get my attention. What surprises me is who she is addressing. She doesn't flinch back when the ex-tomb keeper meets her gaze, too intrigued to be afraid.
"That thing you did…with the flames…how did you? I mean, you gave your Item to Marik. How do you still have magic?"
"That was heka," I presume.
Malik looks back and forth between Anzu and me. He's still on edge, in a shocked state that he isn't possessed right now.
"…yes."
"I'm asking because," Anzu continues eagerly "…well…I know it sounds stupid but…I think I can do that too. Not flames or anything like that but I reinforced the shield Ryou and Bakura made in the Shadow Realm. I'm sorry. This isn't the time. I just wanted to know what it was."
The tomb keepers don't take offense. It isn't exactly an odd line of questioning for them. And there wasn't anything more to say about Marik's injury.
"Shaddi said several of you could use heka," Rishid confirms, his attention divided by the conversation and staring at Marik. "It's how I did the spell. Yes, I did it after much arm-twisting from your hikari," he adds at the accusing look I send him.
"It's true," Yugi chimes in proudly.
I'm not surprised. Yugi has a way of getting what he wants when it truly matters to him. It also seems even more outlandish than I thought. From the sounds of it, Yugi was the one calling the shots. He got Marik's stepbrother to do the spell. And Malik? I'm beginning to get the impression he didn't have a say-period.
"Who else?" Anzu presses, intrigued.
"Jounouchi most likely," Yugi says thoughtfully. "He cast off the Millennium rod's power during Battle City, remember?"
"He also managed his own exorcism while he was possessed and in the Realm," I marvel, still unable to believe anyone could have such capabilities.
"Did he really?" Isis asks, slightly intrigued. "Has he had training with magic?"
"Not to my knowledge. Neither has Anzu. She led the group in blocking the Millennium eye's power in Duelist Kingdom."
"Why have we never heard any of these things?" Isis asks, displeased at missing such details.
"Because I didn't consider it fully. And I wanted to put the past behind me. Besides, you didn't tell us about Mahaado."
"I would have if you had let us help you."
"Help him what?" Anzu asks.
The nurse's aide returns with a Styrofoam cup and straw. Anzu and I both tense as she heads straight for Malik. His shoulders go rigid. It's painful to see and feel how uncomfortable he is with everything. Yugi quickly accepts the drink on his behalf.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. I also wanted to inform you that visiting hours end in twenty minutes," she says cheerily as she turns and exits.
"Like hell we're leaving," Rishid growls.
"We most certainly aren't," his sister agrees calmly, lowering herself into one of the chairs in a deliberate form of resistance.
"You can't spend the night. They don't allow it. Believe me, I've tried," Anzu says sullenly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Actually, we can," Yugi says, holding up the Millennium rod.
"Really, aibou?" I ask.
"They all nearly died. You did die, Yami. We're staying." Yugi pauses to give me the stink eye. "Unless you let the Dark Magician out to try and stop us?"
Well what am I supposed to say to that?
A low moan from the other bed causes us all to tense. Malik bolts up, edging closer to Marik. I realize as we wait for the teen to open his eyes that I have been dreading this moment after what he said when he found out he was cut off from Malik permanently. I don't know how I would handle such a rejection on a good day, let alone if I were in Malik's current condition.
(Malik's POV)
I crouch beside the bed to be at level with his face. His eyes open and he gasps. Immediately he's trying to get to me, arms flailing to reach out. I grab ahold of them and get up, sitting on the edge of the bed as I pull him against me. His fingers cling desperately, digging in harder and harder as if he's expecting something to rip us apart at any moment.
"It's all right," I mumble into his hair, not believing myself at all. I'm trying not to go into full-blown panic at the amount of intense physical contact. His face is pushing into my chest as if he's going to burrow through my ribcage. I can't ask him to stop. Not after what he's been through.
But I need him to stop.
That new but familiar energy encompasses me. I nearly sob in relief. Yugi makes it so I don't crack. I can hold hikari. I don't have to pull away from him.
"Marik?" I ask, afraid at how he hasn't spoken. A very un-Marik thing.
The front of my shirt is growing wet from tears as he continues to scratch at my chest.
"I can't…I can't feel you," he gulps.
Even without our link his anguish is consuming. I resist the urge to get away from the force of this moment. Resting my chin in his hair, I focus on the help from the other hikari across the room.
"…can't feel you…"
I make the mistake of looking from him. His brother and sister are on the other side of the bed. Isis has a hand on Rishid's arm, not saying a word. From his expression, Rishid yearning to go to Marik, but he doesn't. Neither of them do. I know they're giving us this moment.
I just don't know what the hells to do with it.
I want to speak with him through our link where no one else can listen. Where I can touch him even when we aren't physically touching. I want to comfort him but I don't know how. He starts getting more desperate, breaking the skin under my shirt as his fingernails claw at me.
"I can't feel you. I can't feel you!"
Rishid moves forward to intervene.
"Hikari."
I wrap my arms so tight I'm afraid I'll break us both. Hikari stops breathing. I hold my breath. We are suspended in a long moment. I can feel our hearts beating against each other, both racing like mad. We're broken. We were torn in two and thrown in opposite directions only to both shatter on landing. I don't know how to fix us or where to begin.
"I'm n-not…your…h-hikar-ri."
"Didn't I tell you before it didn't matter whether you were truly the other half of my spirit?" I whisper in his ear.
"This is d-different. It's wrong."
"No. It's how it should have been from the start," I say so softly, guilt pooling in my stomach in the knowledge it's been a transfer of burden to another rather than an absolution. "You don't have to hold me together anymore. It's not all on you."
I lessen my grip on him slightly. He keeps his fingers buried in my torso. I take a hand and gently push his hopelessly tangled hair back. I maneuver his head so his left ear is pressed against me rather than his face. He allows me to do this, breathing still hitched.
"I lost you. You were gone and I tried to do what you said. Did the thief…?"
"I'm told he's alive."
"With that stupid mutt?"
"Yes."
"Good," he almost huffs, sounding more like himself. "Rishid? Isis?"
"We're here, brother," she says, both of them stepping forward at their names.
He jolts at her voice, peering over his shoulder at them with widened eyes.
"You…You're all in the same room and not trying to kill each other?"
"So it seems," his sister replies.
"It gets better. Pharaoh's over there," Rishid informs him.
None of us mentions the invisible Mahaado.
"You saved Malik," he says in awe, gazing at his two siblings.
"You begged us to. I'm no good at saying no to you, remember?" Rishid smiles, reaching forward and touching hikari's cheek. "How are you feeling?"
"Like a supernatural bastard sucked my soul out and vomited it back up."
No one laughs. It wasn't a joke.
"That's over now," his sister assures him. "You're slow to recover from it, but we're all here. We're going to stick together through this."
He digests that, paying attention to her wording as one must always do with her.
"You said 'all'. You mean my yami too?"
The pair of siblings shares a glance. Then they both look at me. I do what I can to keep myself from tightening my hold on hikari again. I could take the key for a moment and steal him away from them. They tried to turn him on me before. We haven't discussed this. Any of it. Just that Yugi would keep the spell for as long as needed. But how is that going to work here in Japan? He has Pharaoh and a family here. A home and life. What's going to keep all of it from simply falling apart?
"Yes, brother," Isis says with a startling certainty. She doesn't break eye contact with me as she reaches up and gently touches the Millennium necklace. "Malik too."
For once I don't try to argue with her on whatever she's seen.
Hikari takes her word for it. He's already worn down from this short conversation. Nuzzling against me with a sigh, he mutters dryly before he nods off:
"Oh this is going to be fun."
I don't think you have to leave
If to change is what you need
You can change right next to me
When you're high, I'll take the lows
You can ebb and I can flow
And we'll take it slow
And grow as we go
(Bakura's POV)
I sit on the double bed by myself, fingering the pointers of the ring. I have to resist the urge to tap into its power whenever my nerves hike. It's happened quite a few times since we left the hospital. Though it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I'm not sure why.
It's not a large place. Not like the ridiculous high-rise. Mercifully it's a three-bedroom apartment; Katsuya and I won't have to share with hikari. The man apologized that he kept the largest room for himself and all of his books and things he brought with from Egypt. Originally this room was meant just for me. Or so he says. I'm not interested in the least in complaining or contradicting that. I just am not sure what to believe. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Footsteps tread closer in the hallway. That's something else that makes me uneasy here. There are three bedrooms, a bathroom and a main room that is a living space and kitchen. That's it. There is nowhere to get away and be alone. I don't want to be alone but I am used to having the option.
A tap on the ajar door and hikari's father appears carrying a round container and a roll of bandages. He stops dead in his tracks; almost looks ready to retreat when he doesn't find Katsuya.
"He's just brushing his teeth," I say as explanation to the obvious that I'm here instead.
He must have thought I was still in the shower. I'd been allowed access to the only bathroom first. Apparently Katsuya and hikari's father had things to discuss. They keep forgetting shit, nearly having left the high-rise without hikari's clothes when they went to get mine and Katsuya's. Katsuya claims the man is fatigued and nervous while the mutt is scatterbrained and dealing with some serious trauma.
"Ah, that's fine." He places the items on the edge of the bed and looks about thoughtfully. "I'm sorry there's no dresser, no furniture in here aside from the bed. Everything was done in rather a rush."
I shrug.
"It's not like we brought much. All your crap is at your house. Doesn't make sense to get a bunch more."
"I suppose so," he says, eyeing me strangely. "How are you feeling? Your head?"
"Nothing bad yet," I try to say nonchalantly even though both Katsuya and I have been fearing a blackout.
"Then perhaps you dodged a bullet this time around," the man comments, making no mention of the Millennium ring resting on my chest. "Jounouchi said it was serious before. It sounds like you have had quite the summer."
That earns him a dead stare. I hate that he knows so much even if he doesn't believe any of it. I can't tell if he's trying to bait me into talking about ancient Egypt. He hasn't brought up the translations yet. Does that fall under the category of stuff Katsuya asked him to let be?
The silence gets too awkward for him.
"Speaking of which, I had best get your medications. Jounouchi organized everything. Let me just…" he trails off while practically fleeing the room.
I heave an aggravated sigh. This is not going well. Though I haven't gutted him or summoned the Shadow Realm. The guy doesn't know how good this is going for him, all things considered.
Katsuya enters the room.
"Minty fresh! That was hard to do with these," he adds holding up his scabbing palms and fingers.
"You should be wearing an Item for those burns."
"If the Item in mind is the one you're wearing the answer's no." He flops down on the bed beside me. "I'm all right, Baku. How're you feeling?"
"Don't know," I mumble, stretching so I can scoop up the salve and bandages.
"Because you can't use magic or are uncomfortable around Mr. B?"
"No. Well, yes, those things. But that's not it. I'm not used to people knowing I'm here."
"Huh? What's that mean?" he asks while holding out his right hand so I can rub the medication across the roughened skin. "Since when haven't I known you were here?"
"Not that," I grumble with a roll of my eyes. "I'm talking about before. At hikari's house, I lived in the basement. When his father came, I stayed down there. When you moved us to the high-rise it was to get away from people, to be sequestered from everyone else. In Egypt…" My mouth goes dry as I recall. "…I always had to hide in Egypt."
Katsuya doesn't wave off these thoughts and call them stupid or unnecessary given the man invited both of us to live with him and hikari. He doesn't brush aside what I say like Yami always did. He doesn't try to conceal me. Would rather I be comfortable in whatever capacity that means.
I take his other hand and repeat the process. Wiping the extra salve onto my pajama pants, I start measuring out the bandages.
"There's a lot we don't know yet," Katsuya says after reflecting on what I said. "We may still have some issues with the public for a bit. But if I leave the dueling platform that should all dial back pretty fast. That's how that tends to go."
"You wanted all of that," I object before tearing a strip off and taking his wrist.
"Yeah," he adds wistfully, watching me wind the fabric around his injured digits. "And when I got it, it wasn't so great. Especially not when it made you so miserable. So that's a no-brainer s'far as I'm concerned."
I stop and stare at him in stupefaction.
"But that was your dream. It was what you kept yapping about."
"Maybe I found something better along the way," he says with an affectionate grin.
This is the part where I used to get mad at him because of the way my face is heating up. Then he would tease. Then we would fight and fuck.
It's different this time. I like hearing it. That he is putting me above things. That I'm not in the way of what he wants. I'm not an obstacle and hopefully not too much of a burden.
Still…
"You wouldn't miss it?"
"The fame? God no. Otogi was running me into the ground."
The smile slips away at the mention of the dice master. It's one of the things he's the most shaken up about. Aside from his father and Ryuuji, possessed Katsuya wasn't actually interested in killing anyone else off. At least that wasn't the goal from the get-go.
"He got himself into that mess, Katsuya."
"Just because Otogi is a backstabbing asshole doesn't mean he deserved to be almost ripped apart by giant wolves."
I don't argue with that because our points of view of justice are quite dissimilar. I've finished wrapping his left hand and am working on the right when hikari's father decides to reappear, having made sure to give extra time so that Katsuya would be here when he got back.
"Ah, you've already gotten started on that." As he approaches he peers closer at my work. "Well done. I can't say I could have managed it as well. I brought your medications."
He holds out two small plastic cups and then quickly crosses his arms over so they're being directed at the correct recipient. Mine has substantially more pills than Katsuya's. Aside from pain meds and my previous regimen, an anti-anxiety medication has been added in. It puts me in a bit of a haze, a numbing effect. It also lets me calm the hell down a bit. I swallow the pills with some water he brought and go back to my task of Katsuya's right hand.
"I ordered more food. There should be enough for you both for your meals tomorrow. I'm sorry I haven't been able to…"
"Mr. B, you can stop sayin' you're sorry. Really."
The man seems to relax a bit at that, afraid he's offending these two strange teens that he's agreed to house.
"Very well. As I was going to say: I will be leaving early in the morning for the hospital. Please sleep in and just relax. That's the doctor's orders for both of you. You are all right being left here?"
"We've got each other. And we could call on the landline."
"Right. I've left my number next to the phone." Blue eyes watch intently as I expertly tuck in the edge of the bandage around Katsuya's wrist so it will stay in place. "Where did you learn to do that?"
I tense. Is this it? When it all starts again? Katsuya rests a dressed hand on my arm, squeezing as much as he is able, encouraging me to talk.
"Malik," I mumble, rolling the remaining bandages up with nimble fingers.
I don't mention the cage. The full-body burns. Of Malik being able to teach me how to wrap the bandages like this because he had plenty of experiences of his own that required this technique.
"That's your friend Jounouchi mentioned?"
"Yes," Katsuya replies on my behalf.
"Is he with the people who were flying in from Egypt today?"
It's the first I have had the time in a while to think about him. There was too much danger and drama to contend with. I keep my gaze fixed on the plain beige bedspread, afraid to give too much away by looking at either one of them. I hear them vaguely in the background of my thoughts. They don't try to include me in the conversation. I don't try to take part.
The numbness comes. Mercifully. I need it to dull that sharp pain that won't go away.
"Baku?"
Hikari's father has smartly decided to make his exit. The door is shut. Katsuya is watching me with concern, head tilted to the side. He's hesitant to ask the question, but not because he's afraid of me. He's worried of saying the wrong thing.
"Did you…we could go back with Mr. B tomorrow, if you want."
I start to bite my lip and quickly stop when my teeth touch the stitches.
"I don't want to force my way back in. He deserves better than that. Don't argue," I stop him when he makes to do just that. "You don't know what he went through for me."
"He walked out on you."
"He wouldn't have been sealed away if he'd done so in the past," I reply morosely, no longer upset at Malik for leaving. "It was three-thousand years overdue, Katsuya."
"It wasn't fair of him to do!"
"None of this was fair and he got the worst of it. It wasn't even about him. He got sucked into Pharaoh's and my mess." Breathe. "I didn't even know he was gone until it was already too late. He wasn't like this before. The darkness. The temper. Hell, he hated Shadow Magic. Wanted nothing to do with it."
Katsuya raises his eyebrows in surprise.
"But don't you want to see him?"
I consider it. Malik is here. Immediately I try to quash that line of hopeful thinking and where it wants to go. It's not a good idea. He's here for Marik. We haven't gotten details on what happened to them. I never asked what hurt the hikari so badly in the first place. Katsuya said Shaddi and Pharaoh's hikari went to help Malik. Obviously they were able to bring him out of yet another Shadow possession at its worst. But is Marik well enough that Malik can depend on him? He must be going through hell having to be with his hikari's family as well.
I keep making all of these excuses and reasons I should go to the hospital to see him. It all comes full circle to the same simple truth: Malik doesn't want me there.
"No. No, he made his decision, Katsuya. And he very well may be wrestling with the Shadows alone right now if Marik is still down. My going there would only make it worse."
"You don't know that."
I glare at the mutt.
"I know him better than anyone. Better even than his hikari."
Something hits me hard as I remember something Yami said: He's going to offer Malik passage to the Afterlife, too. And even I have no fucking clue if Malik will accept or not.
"Baku? Are you okay? You're pale…well, paler than usual."
"Don't push me on this anymore," I say thickly, wondering if I will never see Malik again.
The mutt is not liking it one bit. While being an incredibly stubborn individual, he also is aware that Malik and I's relationship is—was complicated.
"I wasn't meaning to nag you. I just know what it's like…with Honda. If there was a chance of making it better for you with Malik…"
"You gonna kiss and make up with Hiroto?" I sneer as I fall back on a pillow, regretting how I say it even though I'm tetchy from this conversation.
"I don't know what's gonna happen with Honda. He left 'cause he hated me. Malik doesn't hate you."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought Hiroto was back."
"Yeah. I've been avoiding him. Gonna let the others sort that out for a while." He peeks at me. "Is that unfair of me?"
Fuck it. I can't stay mad at him.
"Nope," I tug him down beside me, hooking my leg over his and pulling him in closer. He nestles in contentedly. "I think they all need to sort some shit out."
"So do we."
"Well then let's deal with our own shit and let them deal with theirs."
"Can we stop referring to it as shit? I'm getting some disturbing images."
"Fine," I smirk.
"Good," he agrees. "So what should be on our agenda? Settling in. Getting things ready for Ry. Pretty much anything that can make things easier on Mr. B. Since they brought all the Items back, do you think somebody could use the rod and make it so we could get Mr. B's neighborhood opened up again?"
"That's a tall order. There are so many people involved in that now, Katsuya. To influence all of the ones it would require—I'm not sure that can be done."
"Plus it's Malik and Mariks' Item," he adds as an afterthought.
"Plus that."
It doesn't depress him. He starts chattering animatedly about all of the other things we can do next. I listen and nod or scoff from time to time depending on how ridiculous his ideas are. Often the latter. He doesn't mind, brushing it off with ease and moving on to the next. He's just so happy to be here with me and not have to worry about that bastard father of his.
There's a strange sensation, one I do not experience often: Relief. Gods, what if I said yes to Yami's proposition? What if I'd departed last night? I tried to kill myself before. I also, more recently, attempted to walk out on Katsuya and hikari. Each time fate or an annoying teenage girl interceded. But what if that hadn't been the case? I relax against him, not bothering to contemplate those whatifs anymore because I did not 'succeed'. Those are my best defeats ever.
I speak without thinking:
"I'm not suicidal anymore."
Katsuya goes mute at those words. His fingers curl around my arm that is around his waist. Wide brown eyes shine as hope emerges from their depths.
"I was…there was a chance. At the hospital. I promised you I wouldn't leave but we didn't talk about…that," I say awkwardly when he keeps staring. "I still feel pretty fucked up but I'm not going anywhere. I don't want you to worry. I just…I just wanted you to know that."
He licks his lips and tries to say something. That fails. He tries again. Nothing comes out. A huge, goofy grin spreads across his lips and he curls into me. I take his wrist in my hand, running my finger over the thin white scars. This small action is an acknowledgement without words. He hasn't cut since we got involved. I know that. I would have noticed. He watches me trace them, his own hand resting easily over the track mark scars from the skag. Neither of us can find ourselves to be bothered by these remnants of our mistakes. It feels like we managed to get out of some dark tunnel we've been trapped wandering in for years. Neither of us has any idea of what is going to happen now that we're out. But maybe that doesn't matter right now.
Who will bring me flowers when it's over?
And who will give me comfort when it's cold?
Who will I belong to when the day just won't give in?
And who will tell me how it ends and how it all begins?
I'm only human
(Yami's POV)
It's quiet.
Everyone appears to be asleep but me. Yugi is wedged between me and the side of the bed towards the window, thanks to my broken arm. He's drooling lightly on the pillow he had them bring him. Anzu had to go home, not able to talk her parents into letting her join a magic-induced slumber party at the hospital. Isis has her chair leaning back against the wall, Rishid's jacket tucked behind her head. Rishid is seated by Marik's right side, his head and arms resting on the bed. Malik is gone.
I can't sleep because I am afraid.
Afraid of Mahaado appearing amongst all these slumbering people and attacking even though I told him not to.
Afraid for Yugi and what a toll this connection to Malik will take on him.
Afraid of going on to the Afterlife.
Afraid of staying.
"You stopped me."
I grind my teeth together.
"You were going to harm them."
"I was going to attack him. He is a traitor, Pharaoh. He deserves—"
"He deserves some peace!" I snap at my former priest louder than I meant to. I wait a moment but no one stirs. "I'm sick and tired of this sense of justice you have. I don't know if you suffered or not in your isolation but Malik did."
"That was the purpose. It was his punishment."
"I've always despised that decision."
"Not liking a verdict but dealing out the deserved justice is necessar—"
"It was wrong," I say, then quieter. "We were wrong."
I cannot read his expression. It doesn't have to do with the dim light. It has to do with the fact that he isn't human. Mahaado vanishes without a word. Needless to say, I have upset him in one way or another.
I sigh, settling back on my pillow. I just want to fall asleep like the rest of them.
A pair of eyes catch the light from the streetlamps outside. I nearly jump out of my skin. After I get over my surprise, I am surprised a second time.
"I thought Malik and I were the only ones awake."
"No. He usually sleeps like the dead whether he wants to or not," Rishid answers sardonically, stretching his arms above his head. "Isis would probably be awake, too, except for her injuries take their toll."
"Don't stay awake because of Mahaado. I've gotten things straightened out with him."
He studies me as best he can; possibly very well, given he grew up in the tombs.
"I heard. Do you really trust him?"
"I trust that he has to do what I tell him to," is the best I have.
Rishid considers this, turning to look at the sleeping hikari snuggled against his arm. Earlier, when Malik was on the bed with Marik, something was off about it. Marik was curled into Malik. Malik, meanwhile, has an arm wrapped over his hikari but couldn't seem to bring himself to really keep ahold of him. The way they have always been so physically affectionate, this is unsettling to see.
"I always was under the impression you hated Malik," the tomb keeper says carefully.
"I could say the same for you."
That earns a low chuckle.
"A lot has happened in the last few days."
"And?" I can't help but ask, curious despite myself.
"And perhaps I get where Marik was coming from defending him before," he admits, regret tinging the words. "I hold more pity than animosity. It sounds like you've reached a similar conclusion."
"His banishment was the first of its kind. And it didn't go right because I tried to stop the spell halfway through. That's why he was infested the way he was." It's easier to admit these things to someone I don't know whose opinion of me doesn't matter to me. "I never wanted this."
"But it's happened. The three of you are here. Despite all of the shit he's gone through, I know Marik wouldn't change that for the world. I get the same sense from Yugi."
"I can tell you're getting at something. I'm just not certain what."
He leans forward in the chair he's turned part-way so he can face me easier while keeping an eye on his siblings. In the shadows I can barely make out his features. I could almost mistake the great muscular outline for Karim.
"Don't ask Malik. There isn't a point."
My blood chills. I hope against hope that I am misinterpreting what he is talking about; that he is referring to something else completely and I just missed the clues.
"The Pharaoh's Power. Mahaado. The Afterlife."
"How…?"
"We didn't grow up with this lore without learning a few things," Rishid reminds me. His eyes glint in the light. "Shaddi, Yugi and I barely pulled Malik back from the brink of the Afterlife. It was laid out that he would be found guilty. Yugi plead his case to come back and live and change. You said it yourself: You took everything else from Malik with that spell. You owe him this chance."
"You're fighting to keep him here? With Marik?"
"I am. And I know what a shock that is, so there's no need to point it out to me," he adds wearily. "I didn't say I like the idea or that it's easy for me."
"Clearly something else happened. More than any of you are saying."
"It did," he concedes but doesn't divulge those events to me.
"Does that include whatever happened to the Millennium puzzle?"
"Not really. I'll tell you all about that." He motions at a large purse at his feet. "It's in need of some reassembly."
"Why's that?" I ask, imagining it getting shattered amidst whatever foes they went up against.
"Your hikari threw a tantrum when we told him about the gateway to the Afterlife. He seems certain you will go."
I look down at Yugi. There is no tension in the link. Nothing from Yugi or Malik. That gives me relief in knowing my hikari isn't being constantly bombarded with trouble from the ex-tomb keeper. He's safe.
"Should I take that as a yes?"
"I don't care how you take it. It's not your decision to make. It isn't your life."
"It's not just yours either. There are other people to consider. That is all I will say on the matter."
"May I have the puzzle?"
"Sure. Yugi certainly doesn't want anything to do with it," he adds, passing me the purse in its entirely.
Metal bits clink as the fabric shifts from one hand to another. It's heavier than I was expecting. Then I see the Millennium scales resting inside as well. It's smart, not exactly the most subtle of the Items to be carrying around. Plus it doesn't have a beneficial power at the present time. I find the center piece of the puzzle, takin it out and weighing in it my palm thoughtfully.
"Am I to get this lecture from Isis next?"
Shadows crisscross as his brow wrinkles.
"No. She has opted to not give an opinion here."
That gives me pause. I saw the necklace on the woman's throat.
"Is that a good thing or not?"
"That's anyone's guess," he states with a tone of enervation.
"If Malik stayed…" I say thoughtfully. "He knows Shadow Magic. He knows heka. Hells, he knows more about both than anyone alive, including Bakura and me. If anything were to happen he would know what to do and how to do it."
"He's in no condition to be wielding magic. I'm sure you can feel that."
"There's a lot of panic…"
"That's the main thing. He has a sensory overload going on. I'm not sure what it's going to take to dial it down."
"That must have made for a fun plane ride."
"That was fine because we decided it wasn't worth trying." His shoulders sag when I open my mouth to ask. "We put him under the Millennium rod's control. There was no way he could have gotten on that plane otherwise."
"You classify putting him under mind control 'fine'?" I ask, horror dawning on me all the more as I begin to understand just how traumatized the ex-tomb keeper is; that removing the Shadows from him didn't 'fix' everything I'd done.
"It was better than the alternative. You cannot depart and put all your responsibilities on Malik. You have to understand that."
"I do. I won't," I say, feeling all the more confused. Is this what I'm leaving Yugi to deal with?
"He could use your help, you know."
"I'm fairly confident he wouldn't want it."
"And you think he's embracing mine with open arms?" The big man sighs and shakes his head. "Just promise you won't leave in the dead of night. That you'll give a proper farewell to Yugi. That you'll prepare him."
"I wouldn't have done otherwise," I say, even though there was a part of me I had to quickly rebuff that wanted to do just that.
This new information on Malik makes everything more complicated, but I perhaps can pull some strings. There is still time to decide everything. And for all I know, I may not be the only one. There is still the matter of the thief.
I know it hurts
It's hard to breathe sometimes…
(Yugi's POV)
I stand in the doorway watching the green spirit glide along walls and rooftop. For a giant bug monster its movements are graceful and precise. It's tricky to pick out up here under the lights for the helipad, its translucent body slightly luminescent as it hums about. From below in the streets it would be unlikely for someone to notice its faint glow against the harsh city lights.
The yami hasn't taken any notice of me. He's sitting cross-legged with his back against the outer wall of the stairwell. I keep a hold of my emotions, making sure to filter so he isn't bombarded.
"Did you want something?"
Apparently I'm not very good at it yet.
I pad over and stand beside him, keeping a respectful distance.
"I felt you get up. And back in Egypt at the apartment the roof was my getaway spot."
"Oh."
He doesn't apologize or offer to move; partially because he can sense I'm not perturbed and also because he's Malik.
The ka leaps out onto the ledge and hangs upside-down like a bat. It begins grooming its talons. While its head isn't facing us, its body is covered in various sizes of ogling red eyes. I'm not sure there is a direction it can't see. Satisfied, it leaps straight at the rooftop at Malik's feet and disappears as if it had dove underwater. Malik and I wait in silence and I let out an "eep!" when a green head covered with eyes pops up beside my foot and quickly goes down again.
"Are you doing that?" I ask, wondering if this yami is a prankster at heart.
"Hmm?" he grunts, coming out of a daze. "Oh. No. I'm giving it free reign for a while. It's restless."
"I guess that's understandable," I say as it surfaces slower this time, just the eyes on the top of its head poking up and peeking at us. "So it can think on its own."
"In a way."
More than that. I sense something akin to, if not exactly, emotions emitting from the ghostly creature. It loves Malik. It missed him. Hell, if I understand the whole ka-ba-akh thing, it is Malik.
"Do I have one? A ka?"
"I think so. I heard the other two talking," he says, his most recent way of referring to Isis and Rishid; it's an improvement from 'the bitch and the oaf'. "They were debating about those of you who show some promise with heka."
"So we can do this too?" I ask excitedly.
"I didn't say that." He looks at me in a strange way, as if to discourage the very idea. "Until this, we didn't even know ka still existed. Hell, I thought you hikaris were the remnants of them."
It's a strange thought but how would Malik have known he was still missing his if no one else can summon theirs?
"The Dark Magician…he's Mahaado's ka?"
"No. The Dark Magician is the akh—the completed spirit of Mahaado and his ka, Illusion Magician."
"So the akh is a combination of the two." I mull over that as Shadow Ghoul 'climbs out' of the rooftop and scuttles away. "What would you look like?"
That earns a chuckle from the yami and I smile and sit down beside him. Tension around Malik is bad. We haven't spoken much since he suggested I not rip apart the god cards. I've spent more of my time with Rishid. Malik sleeps a ton. When awake, he wanders off a lot. No one stops him and he usually stays close enough that I can still feel him and will be able to come help him if necessary. That was different when I woke up with a start in a hospital room to find the yami out of range. My darker half was pissed off that Rishid let Malik leave and didn't want me going on my own. Rishid hadn't said much, just given me that look. Somehow he understands what I'm going through with Malik. He convinced Yami to give me a slot of time to locate and talk to Malik on my own.
"I see Grandpa tomorrow. When I talked to him on the phone he didn't sound like himself." I stare at the ka to try to distract myself from my emotions but my voice quivers all the same. "Honda has been looking out for him."
Even if Malik doesn't know the whole story, he can sense my agitation. I regret coming here and exposing him to this negative emotion when he's already bothered by something. I quickly reel things in on my side. Sending the yami a worried glance, I see his jaw tighten and his nostrils flare as he exhales heavily, fighting to keep my moods at bay.
"Sorry," I say, not leaving him be like I should. "I just…I have something to ask you." He doesn't respond in any way to that, obviously waiting. Here goes nothing: "Before, when I was talking about the thing the Shadow Realm—the latest thing, you know-You said you had to get involved. I didn't push because…but Malik, you didn't have to get involved."
"Yes, I did," he replies just as stalwart as before.
"Because of Bakura?"
"Because of Bakura."
"You and Marik were in Egypt and safe! Everyone knows you care about Bakura but you left. You said you were done."
"So?"
There's an edge to his tone and I can feel the air prickle. I'm pushing the boundaries further than they should be. It's not my business.
"So why did you keep going back to him?"
The lavender stare catches me. The yami scrutinizes me for what feels like a painfully long five seconds.
"This coming from someone whose group of friends probably shit sunshine and rainbows?" He smirks when I glare and make to retaliate. "Bakura and I had a falling out in ancient Egypt, too. Hells, he threatened to kill me."
"But you made up."
"In these times," he clarifies.
"Wait. What? I thought…in ancient Egypt…!"
"In ancient Egypt we parted on bad terms and I ended up getting captured and sealed in an Item while out looking for him to make sure he was safe."
I bite my lip and lower my gaze.
"But you just s-said he did bad things to you—that he threatened you. Why would you keep going back to someone who hurts you?"
"Who said I was?" he asks in surprise before his eyes narrow. "Just where exactly is this conversation going, pray tell?"
He has the right to ask. I see why he wouldn't be making any connections for why I want to know.
"Honda," I blurt out. "He said horrible things about Jou. He did crappy things, too, just for spite because the rest of us stuck with Jounouchi. When I was coming to Egypt, coming for you, I called him to help because there was no one else and because... I hoped he would help and he did. He has. It's just…Now I don't know what to do. He'll be here tomorrow and I can't pretend none of the other stuff happened. I can't just forgive him!"
"Then don't."
I send Malik a hard look.
"Don't forgive him but let him back into our lives? Let him help and then dump him?"
"Did I say that?"
"You just said…!"
"I was talking about Bakura and me. It's what you asked. It has nothing to do with you and your friends in these modern times. I don't have to explain myself or my choices to you. You haven't lived my life nor I yours."
Even though it wasn't the plan, I find myself being drawn into this argument.
"I didn't save you so you would get hurt again."
"You saved me for my hikari's sake."
"I saved you because Yami didn't!" I snap at him, my temper flaring. "And Bakura didn't. And the Dark Magician didn't. And all of that time Shaddi was here in present days he didn't. No one did but they should have! I saved you because it was the right thing to do!"
Malik gazes at me, possibly unable to understand what he is looking at. I'm an anomaly to him: Someone who cares for the sake of having seen the wrongs done to him. He doesn't get it and he's not comfortable with it. He shakes his head in defeat and releases me from his scrutiny.
"At some point, little Pharaoh, you need to let go."
"You're not ready."
"No, I'm not," he agrees soberly. "But if I end up crashing and burning, that's my business."
"For now it's mine, too," I shoot back.
He offers a mirthless wince of a smile.
"Is it a requirement for the hikaris to be particularly stubborn individuals? Or do you just have a natural predisposition for it?"
"It comes with the territory," I simper, lighter now that he's calming as well. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to dictate what you can do. I just…You and Bakura…I can tell you care about him a lot. But…I have Honda, who betrayed us. Then I have Jou, who also sort of accidentally did, too."
"Accidentally?"
"He didn't know he was going to get infested with Shadows. You guys never told us what happened if you tried to use a stolen Item."
"Don't try to pin that on us. Given your yami owned four of them, it was assumed you'd probably just ask to use one…?" the ancient Egyptian ventures sarcastically.
"I'm not trying to defend Jou. I just meant it wasn't his original intent." I sigh and run my hands through my hair. "He attacked us. He hurt us. Hell, he was trying to kill Otogi. Bakura did that to you. How did you let that go? How…?"
I don't know how to finish that. And I want to know. I want him to explain because I don't know what to do with it myself.
"Bakura's more than a friend. More than family. He was home." He gets a distant expression and looks up at the night sky, seeming disenchanted by what he does or doesn't find there. "Anywhere with Bakura was home."
"Jounouchi had a home too. He was abused there. It's why he took the key, why all of this happened. That was his home."
The yami's gaze becomes haunted, lost.
"I'm not talking about a physical home. And I don't have to defend my choices to you, little Pharaoh. It may not be right or even good, but that's what it is. Even continents away, I have to look out for Bakura because I can't not protect him. That's all."
"Quit calling me that."
My shoulders slouch in defeat. I didn't get the answer I wanted. I'm not even sure what I wanted his insight to be. Something that would help me determine what to do about Honda and Jou.
"If either of those idiots you mentioned were in peril, what would you do?" he asks, victorious when I frown. "See? You act like you don't understand but I think you do. When it gets down to the ugly truth, you know."
Of course he's right. I'd protect them. Hell, what I did to save Malik was and has been the most insane and risky thing I've ever done. I'd do even more for Honda and Jounouchi.
This is just making me all the more confused.
"You make it all sound so simple," I complain.
"It is."
"So you either forgive him or you don't?"
That makes him pause and consider.
"I forgave as best I could. Having any faith in him is something else entirely."
"You act like you don't have a choice in letting him back in. But you do, Malik."
"Is this really about your stupid friends or an intervention talk for me to avoid the thief?" he asks with more than a hint of an evil smirk.
"No. No one has suggested you do."
"Except you."
"I didn't mean to. I just don't know what to do!"
"Given you were on a completely different continent from them for, what, four days?—perhaps you should get back to them before trying to sort through all of this shit."
"I just want to be ready. I don't want to get into another fight or get tricked." I regard him seriously. He has to be asking himself these questions. He has to. "Will you see Bakura?"
"I don't know," he admits hollowly "Hikari is priority."
"Doesn't it bother you that you don't know?" I ask in frustration.
"I didn't say that. I just happen to have a long list of things that are preoccupying my mind at present."
"Yami promised Marik is safe from Mahaado."
"I know that."
I can't avoid it any longer. It's been bothering me since I went on my search through the hospital for the yami.
"Malik, why are you up here? I had thought you wouldn't want to be separated from Marik at all."
He keeps his eyes fixated on the sky. The air around us trembles. Or maybe that's just my taking on his emotions. It's a lonesome despair.
"He clings to me so forcefully. I wouldn't mind except even regular touch is making my skin crawl." His head bows, ashamed and shaken that he can't do something as simple as hold and comfort his hikari. "It hurts to be so close."
"So we talk to him."
His head snaps up, eyes alight.
"You will not. He gets whatever he needs."
"He needs you. And he needs to know what you can and can't handle. He can't feel it anymore and he can't read minds. Marik's tough, Malik. Take it from another hikari: He will find out sooner or later and he'll be pissed at you for letting him hurt you." I make a decision on the spot because I'm not sensing any give in the yami's resolution. "I'll ask Rishid to talk to him. He won't mind and Marik will listen to him."
Malik doesn't object. Maybe because he needs Marik to know but doesn't want to make his hikari feel like Malik's pushing him away. All this talk of his hikari who is no longer his hikari, I feel a pang of compassion for the yami beside me. It's got to be so strange for them. There is a void. I never imagined anything could come between them. I want to help them. If he is going to live in these times I want it to be for the better.
"Don't you dare get all mushy," Malik warns, having sensed my shift of sentiments.
I have to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from outright grinning. I gasp as Shadow Ghoul comes bounding at us in great strides. It dives at Malik. When it should ram him into the wall, it's gone. I feel it churning inside of him.
"You can have your spot," he says, pushing himself to his feet. "The view leaves something to be desired."
"What? It's an awesome view! Look at all the lights and buildings!"
He doesn't. Instead, he looks above us. Something like longing or grief comes through our link.
"I'm missing something, aren't I?" I ask, squinting up and spotting a few faint stars.
"You are. Not everything changed for the better in three thousand years," he concurs, still gazing upwards. "This place is overwhelming. It's always awake, always moving. It's claustrophobic here. You can't even see the sky."
"Sure you can. It's right there. Look! There's a star. And one over there." I stop at the funny way he's regarding at me. "What?"
"What are you idiots doing up here? It's four in the morning."
Rishid's tall frame is taking up the bulk of the doorway to the stairwell. His shoulders are slouched, clearly not wanting to not be here.
"Can't sleep," Malik answers matter-of-factly. "What are you doing here?"
The tomb keeper grimaces, wanting to have some great rejoinder.
"Can't sleep. And then you wandered off, followed by Yugi. And now everyone but Marik is awake." He tilts his head back. "So what are we looking at that is so fascinating?"
"Nothing from here," the yami scoffs in disgust.
"Rishid, will you please tell Malik this is an awesome view?"
"It's an awesome view," the man recites dully. "Now can we all go back to the room?"
"It's a shitty view and you know it," the yami retorts. I can feel him stalling, not wanting to venture back into the hospital. "Don't tell me you never snuck out of the tombs at night."
Rishid tenses at the mention of the place. I wait with a bated breath, wondering if this is all about to backfire. I shouldn't have pushed Malik so much. Though, to be fair, I thought the things he would get upset about would have to do with Bakura and Marik. Not the sky.
The big man grimaces and gives the heavens a critical glance.
"He's right. It's a shitty view," he concedes with a yawn. "Come on. Back downstairs."
"What!" I exclaim, getting irritated with both of them. "What makes it shitty? And what made it any different here than from…from the…"
"You can say 'tombs'," the yami gripes even as his hands tremble. "The word doesn't do anything."
"It's making Rishid uncomfortable," I point out. It's making you uncomfortable.
"Well, aside from that then."
"Malik, be nice!"
Both of them give me a strange look. All right, it's an odd thing to say. Not even Marik asks him to be nice.
"In the Sahara, away from the cities and people, the sky is nothing but stars," Rishid caves. "You can see the Milky Way for half the year. It's so bright above, like the sky is burning white fire. Here—there is too much light pollution."
"Stupid modern humans," the yami mutters darkly.
I've seen pictures. But they never seemed real. Like the photos were taken on an alien planet, capturing images of stars that don't exist here. I begin to comprehend Malik's feeling of claustrophobia. I had thought of changes in terms of technology, buildings, and so on. Plus, the amount of activity in the hospital is difficult for him to handle right now. I didn't think about something like being able to view the stars.
"I'd like to see that," I wish out loud.
"Another time," Rishid mumbles distractedly before adding that air of authority to his voice. "But right now we need to go back downstairs. Isis and Pharaoh want to know where the two of you went. I think Pharaoh was considering sending the Dark Magician."
"He won't. He knows that would only cause trouble," I assure them as Malik and I follow him nonetheless.
"Well then trust me when I say you do not want to keep Isis waiting."
Having a bad bout of depression and panic attacks the likes of which I haven't had in a few years. So that's been fun. It's actually helped to have this fic to work on, push all the creative juices somwhere other than an overactive, anxiety-ridden mind. I'm going through my list of loose ends to tie up and it's going very smoothly, actually. I've caught myself dawdling and heading off into side plots because a small part of me doesn't want this to end. This thing is the length of a frickin' book series and definitely took as long to write. Keep an eye on thsi one. Updates will be more frequent barring anything too catastrophic. It's 2020, so who knows?
Reviews brighten my day!
