Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine

Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.


"What are you doing here?" Catherine sat up from the couch and rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"

Jude moved through the darkness of the house, checking the doors and windows. "Just making my rounds."

"You're not supposed to be here. Coen will have a cow if he finds out."

He rolled his eyes, muttering, "Coen can go fuck himself." Jude was still irate over Coen's response to the security breach. He'd taken matters into his own hands and gone to stay with Catherine. When he returned to the team the next day, Coen threatened to suspend him and Jude had dared him to go through with it. After all, Coen didn't speak a lick of the local dialect and Jude was fluent. Their screaming match had ended in a hostile stalemate. He knelt down on the floor in front of the couch, "How you feelin', Princess?"

Catherine shrugged, "Long day. Spent all of it with Ahmad's wife." She yawned and stretched her arms, "I was dreaming in Pashto again."

Jude looked at the coffee table that was scattered with handwritten pages and journals were in English, but the papers were in Pashto. "Good intel?"

"Mhmm."

He glanced at his watch, "You should get to bed." When she didn't comply, he moved up to sit beside her, "How's the recovery?"

Exhausting. Terrible. Painful. Gut-wrenching. Heartbreaking. "I'm fine."

Jude leaned forward and clasped his hands together, "I talked to Doris."

Her tired eyes flashed with fury, "You WHAT?! I told you I didn't want Steve to know!"

"Catherine, she's not gonna say anything to him. They haven't been in contact for a while." He reached over and placed his hand on her knee, "Look, Doris and I are tight. And I know you really don't want the rest of the team knowing what happened, so look at it from my perspective. Either I asked Doris what the fuck I should be doing to make sure you're okay, or I have to go through the proper channels to get an actual medic in here and you and I both know that'll raise a hell of a lot of red flags."

"I know."

Jude did a double take. His brows furrowed and he placed his hand on her cheek, "You sure you're okay? It sounded like you just agreed with me." Catherine rolled her eyes and swatted his hand away. A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth, "What do you need from me, Princess?" For someone so massive, so strong and powerful, he was incredibly gentle.

Catherine shuffled under the heavy blanket, tucked her feet underneath her, and leaned on his shoulder, "What did Doris say?"

He wrapped one thick arm around her shoulders, "She was worried about you. Wanted to come out here." His head dipped down as he added on, "She's about to wrap up some op in Argentina right now. According to her she would 'be here in a jiffy' if we could keep it quiet."

She giggled and shook her head, "That's like an eighteen hour flight…. More if you're in a cargo plane."

Jude's emerald eyes studied her. His voice lowered in a gruff murmur. "She wanted to make sure someone was here with you." He raised an eyebrow and scratched the back of his head, "She agreed with me and thought you should tell Steve what happened." He sighed when Catherine shook her head profusely. "And she gave me some good advice on how to help you recover. How to make sure you don't get sick or get an infection."

"How'd she know all that?"

He shrugged, "First hand, I guess. Apparently it's pretty common." Jude offered her a weak smile, "People just don't talk about it like they should."

Catherine sat in silence. Her watch told her that it was just past two in the morning, but she didn't want him to go. Instead of seeing him off and heading to bed like she should, Catherine curled into his side and closed her eyes.

Jude looked down in admiration. Her hair was down and he liked it that way. She always had it up in a sensible ponytail or a military bun, but the few hours a day she let it down were his favorites. The giant shirt she wore hung loosely off her thin torso, ending just above her knees. McGarrett's probably. He indulged in a luxury he had been abstaining from, and tenderly ran his fingers through her hair.

It took every ounce of restraint for Catherine to keep from groaning in pleasure. In her opinion, one of the greatest joys in life is having one's hair brushed. His gentle hands would do. She let out a contented sigh, "You win, Beckett."

His nose pressed into her hair as he mumbled, "Whaddayamean?"

"What you said in Kabul. You win. You're my new best friend."

Jude's laugh was an earthquake. "Took you long enough." His arm around her shoulders tightened as his fingers drifted up and down her arm. "You, uh, you thought about what you're gonna do when we get time off after this one?"

It was all she had been thinking about. Would she move to Texas to be closer to her parents? Would she move to D.C.? Live overseas? Then there was that other thing. Dating.

She hadn't been on a first date with someone other than Steve since… Billy. Had dating changed since the nineties? Surely it had to be different, right? How did people meet each other nowadays? How were you supposed to meet someone if you weren't forced to live and work with them twenty-four hours a day in the very confined space of an aircraft carrier? Did she even want to deal with that mess again? She had just had a fucking miscarriage for crying out loud.

"You're thinking really loudly."

Catherine sighed, "I don't know what I'll do. I need to get a place and get my stuff out of your cabin."

"Mi casa, su casa." He grinned, "Feel free to crash there whenever you want." Jude tapped his finger to her temple, "There's something else going on in there."

She waved her hand dismissively, "Just thinking."

"Don't get frosty with me now, Princess." Jude's self control was faltering. He had spent a year with the Ice Queen and watching her thaw had been a test in discipline. She wasn't intentionally playing hard to get, but damn if he didn't like the chase. Peeling back those layers, seeing what made her tick, discovering the woman underneath- he loved it. "Catherine." Her name on his lips was filled with gravel and sex, "I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say you're thinking about what comes next for you without him. You're probably thinking that it's too soon for you to put yourself back out there, and maybe it is." With a loose touch, he pulled her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear, "There's no almighty etiquette list for how and when to move on. No one's gonna tell you the proper way to grieve what happened with him or what happened with your pregnancy."

He called her Catherine, not 'Princess'. He didn't call Steve 'Prince Charming' or 'the SEAL'. Something akin to hope bubbled up inside her while tears filled her eyes, "Fucking hormones." She laughed. Jude's thumb met the corner of her eye and wiped away her tears, gently cradling her jaw in his giant hand. Her eyes met his, whiskey colliding with earth. "You gonna help me get back up on the horse?"

"Whenever you're ready, Princess. Whatever you need."


"I had a nice time tonight." Lynn smiled as she stood on the front porch of her house, "A little less exciting than chasing down a mobster on a deserted island, but it was still pretty fun."

Steve leaned in and gave her a quick peck on her lips, "Next time I'll make sure there's at least one felon nearby." He said with a wink.

She giggled, "Mmmm, sexy and funny." Lynn bit down on her lip and stepped closer, placing her hands squarely on his chest, "How are you not married?" Her voice dipped into a quiet panic, "I mean, you're NOT married, right?" She laughed, "Ellie's tried to set me up before and let's just say she didn't quite do her homework as well as she should have."

"Not married. You know that." His tone was even and rehearsed. He had reluctantly agreed to go out with Lynn when Ellie Clayton had suggested it for the hundredth time. No one had died on their snorkeling trip, so they had gotten off to a good start. Truth be told, he was tired of the constant barrage of 'how you holding up' and 'you hanging in there, buddy?' He hated being called 'buddy'. A couple dates, he thought. What was the harm? A few public appearances and everyone would leave him the fuck alone. Lynn was nice enough. She was pretty. Educated. Stable. On paper she should check all of his boxes. The problem was, she wasn't Catherine. Still, there were worse ways to spend his free time.

Lynn glanced over at her front door, "You, uh, you wanna come in?"

"I should probably get going." He shoved his hands in the pockets of his dress pants, "Gotta be at the office early before I testify in court tomorrow morning."

She laughed nervously and looked down at the toe of her high heels. "You know, Steve… The good guy act? Walking me to the door after dinner and a movie where all you did was put your arm around my shoulders? It's nice, really..."

He scrubbed his palm across his freshly shaven jaw, "But?"

Lynn took a step back from him, "Ellie told me you had been seeing someone for a long time before this. She didn't tell me how serious it was or wasn't, but I had my suspicions. I'm not interested in being a rebound and I made that clear to you when I found the ring. You don't seem like you're ready for this… Whatever this is."

"Wouldn't everyone technically be considered a rebound from somebody?" He cracked a grin, "I mean, unless you're thirteen and it's your first date. Ever."

The corners of her eyes crinkled as she laughed, "God, stop being funny. You're making it hard for me not to drag you inside." That was another thing he hadn't gotten comfortable with yet. Spending the night with someone who wasn't Catherine.

He had tried once, but the thought of Lynn waking up to him in the middle of a nightmare kept him wide awake all night. Sex? Sure. There had been a wine-fueled date that had ended up with the two of them making out on her couch and then stumbling their way into the bedroom. And then a handful more times after that. Casual had never been his forte, but he was trying. She had only been to his house a few times, and one of those was only because her debit card had fallen out of her purse when she was in his truck. Even then, he had offered to bring it to her house or her office. Then there was the Valentine's Day black eye incident that they had vowed to never speak of again. He shuddered at the thought and glanced down to make sure her shoes weren't able to be weaponized.

"Do you want to come inside?" Her hand rested neatly on his forearm, "My place is closer to The Palace and the courthouse. You won't have a long commute in the morning."

Steve allowed his hands to find their way to her waist, "How about a nightcap." He suggested, pulling her closer. "And then I'll continue my good guy act and drive myself home and call you tomorrow when I get out of court."

"Bourbon or brandy?"

"Bourbon." He slid his hand to the small of her back and walked inside. "In my defense, the head of Five-0 probably shouldn't be caught making out with his date in the middle of a movie theater. What kind of message would that send to the governor's constituents?"

A raucous laugh escaped her mouth as she tossed her keys on the entryway table and kicked off her shoes, "Considering we were the only two people in the movie theater? I'd say the voters wouldn't have minded." Lynn opened her liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of bourbon. Steve grabbed two rocks glasses off the top of the shelf and set them out for her. "You know, I can't help but be a little curious about your last relationship." She swirled the bourbon in her glass before taking a sip. "I mean, I know you were going to propose, but she must've done a real number on you if you're still this gun-shy about getting back in the game."

"No one's ever accused me of being gun-shy." He smirked. "Trigger happy, yes. But never gun-shy."

Lynn set her glass down, "You know I have a psych degree, right? And I work with hurting kids for a living."

"Are you profiling me?"

"You're deflecting." She trailed the pad of her finger around the rim of the glass. "I'm saying either you're not over your ex, there's a different reason you're depriving yourself of mindblowing and mutually satisfying sex, or it's a combination of the two. And I'm leaning towards the last one." She sighed, "I like you, Steve, but I don't want to waste my time."

Steve groaned, "Look, I, uh, I just don't sleep well at night even in my own bed. I toss and turn and I don't wanna keep you up."

"You don't want to keep me up or you don't want me to get scared off?" She downed the last drop of bourbon in her glass and set it in the sink. "PTSD?"

"Yeah."

"How'd she deal with it?" Lynn asked abruptly. There wasn't even the slightest hint of hesitancy in her words.

Steve was surprised when the glass in his hand didn't immediately shatter from his iron grip. "She's ex-military. Saw some of the same stuff I did." He paused a beat, "She was there in the action for some of it."

"Well," Lynn leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him, "I think we should call it a night."

"Lynn-"

She placed her hand on his cheek, "There's nothing wrong with taking the time you need, Steve."

He offered a pathetic smile and set his glass aside, "When." He began, "When I figure things out. I will give you a call."

"Goodnight, Steve."

Leaning down and pecking her cheek, he grabbed his keys and drove home alone.


Journal #5

Kiev, Ukraine

The last few weeks have been a nice distraction. I've started getting closer to Farah Ahmad and the intel is good. Not quite what will seal the deal, but she's an open book. I just have to figure out the right questions to ask.

The beginning was a little murky, but I like what I'm doing. Cultivating assets, gathering intel - I feel challenged. I feel good.

Jude's been sneaking into the safehouse when he makes his rounds every couple of days. It's nice to see a friendly face and I don't completely hate spending time with him. Okay, that's a lie. I really like having him around.

He called Doris and talked to her after the miscarriage. I wanted to be mad at him, but truthfully, I was really glad he talked to her. I wish I had. I can't talk to my own mom about this right now and I miss her like crazy. I know if I told my dad, he'd kill Steve, so the lack of communication with the outside world is probably a good thing. But Doris gets it. She's been around the CIA long enough to know how these things go down.

Last night Jude came over and we sat and talked about what comes next. What do I want? All my life I've been dependent on something. On the regiment of the military. On Steve. I think it's time I do what I told him I was going to do and build a life of my own.

Jude offered to let me crash at his place, and I'll probably have to when we first get back, but I think I'm going to move somewhere close to Langley. Not in the city. D.C. traffic is a nightmare. There are some little towns around Langley I wouldn't mind checking out. And it'll still be pretty close to Jude, whenever he decides to stop country hopping on our R and R's. Someday when he decides to hang up his spy-bachelor lifestyle, he's going to make some lady very happy. She just has to have an accent. (Apparently that's a requirement of his.) Men...

I'm still not 100%. I don't want to use the word 'weak', but I'm pretty weak. Jude's the only one who's seen me like this and he swears up and down he hasn't told the rest of the team. He's been great at checking on me. Not just to make sure the intel is good and the house is safe, but actually checking on ME. I owe him a lot.


Steve glanced up from the file on his desk as a knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. Looking up, his jaw nearly slammed into his desk. "Hi, uh, hey." He stammered.

Lynn waved her hand dismissively, "Don't get up. I was just in the building and saw your name on the door."

"What, uh, what brought you over here?"

She tapped the folder in her arm and smiled, "A couple kids whose cases I was in charge of a few years ago enlisted. I stopped by to talk to Dr. Rodriguez to make sure she had their files sent to the proper channels. I really want them to succeed."

Steve grinned, "That's great. That's, uh, that's awesome. Mel, she's- she's good at her job. She'll make sure they're looked after for sure."

Lynn looked around the office. Military memorabilia mixed with family photos cluttered every wall and surface. A photo of him in his dress whites and Catherine in a wedding gown was next to one of a little redhead with Steve's eyes and a baby boy who was the perfect blend of his two parents, "Looks like you finally figured things out."

He followed her gaze to the photos, "Still working on it. But we're, uh, we're happy." Steve snapped out of his wistful stare and asked, "What about you?"

She held up her hand and flashed a sparkling diamond on her ring finger, "Big day's next month."

"Ellie set this one up too?" He grinned.

Lynn's bark of laughter had him cracking up, "Nope. Found this one all on my own."

Steve leaned back in his chair, "You know, one of these days, I'm gonna get my revenge and set her up with someone. Give her a taste of her own medicine."

"Ha! Steve McGarrett playing matchmaker?" Lynn giggled, "Now this I have to see." She dug out a business card and slid it across his desk, "Give me a call if you want someone to help you scheme and plot. I love her, but that meddling woman deserves everything that's coming to her." Lynn turned to leave, but paused and held on to the doorframe, "You know, I really am happy for you both. When, um. When Catherine showed up during our date years ago, I could see it. What you two have? That's the kind of love people write books about."


AUTHOR'S NOTE

Mercy, this chapter was a struggle. Writers block mixed with the difficulty of writing Lynn's character mixed with the fact that I got my notes mixed up and ended up having to re-write part of it at 1 am so that it would fit with the show. BLESS.

Leave your thoughts and comments in the reviews!

XO,

-Mags-


l