Chapter Eighty Seven:

Ichigo left the convenience store, balancing three paper bags in his arms as he began trudging down the street. It was scorching hot as the sun beat down on the pavement, hot enough to scold the asphalt and dry out the green leaves on the trees. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt a Spring so hot.

He knew he ought to stop counting how long had passed since his battle with Aizen but he couldn't quite stop looking at the calendar on his phone or on his desk and automatically calculating it. Sure it happened a little less often, but the moment his eyes glanced over the date he was bludgeoned over the head with that familiar feeling of emptiness that had resulted from the lack of contact from his Soul Society friends. He hadn't even seen the Espada again since their visit.

Grumbling as someone almost knocked him over in passing, the strawberry swore as he watched a large mango topple from one of his bags and roll out defiantly into the road. He stopped and stared at it, tilting his head to the side in annoyance. His entire expression seemed to question how the fruit dare try to escape him and its fate of becoming a tasty snack.

He blinked once as a car flattened the mango under its wheels and drew in a deep sigh, releasing it as slowly as he could before he turned and continued walking. His expression turned deadpan as he considered what he was going to have instead of that mango, silently judging the other food items in his bags with disinterest. Maybe he'd spring the Ishida's a surprise house call instead. He shook his head at the thought, he wasn't in the mood for company.

Sighing heavily, he stared skywards, expression turning to annoyance as the sudden urge to look over his shoulder kicked in. He didn't turn. He wouldn't see anyone there. It didn't matter anymore.

Ichigo glanced to his right as he passed an alley which ran between two sets of houses, taking in the sight of some kid getting punched in the face by a gang of three slightly taller kids. He carried on walking and then blinked, paused and back tracked to check that he had seen what his brain was telling him he'd seen.

"Oi!" He shouted, "What do you think you're doing?!"

Shopping discarded in an untidy pile, he ran down the alleyway towards the fight, putting himself between the smaller kid and the punks. He took a kick to the shin and a punch to the gut, but apparently his refusal to even flinch caused concern and the three hooded brats ran off as fast as their legs would carry them.

"That's right! Scram!" Shaking his head in disbelief, Ichigo turned on the spot to check on the kid his eyes widening as he recognised dark hair and warm brown eyes, "Hotaru?!"

"I-Ichi-ji?!" The boy stared with wide eyes, apparently no longer concerned by the blood running from his nose, "W-What are you doing here?"

"I was just passing... It doesn't matter! Are you alright?" He knelt down and rested a hand on the boy's shoulder, "Who were those guys? Are they from school?"

Hotaru looked away for a moment before stepping to the side, revealing Kaida who had been cowering behind the bins, "They were picking on her."

"What..." Ichigo's eyes widened and he hurried forwards, hugging her tightly, "You were protecting her?"

"Of course!" The boy said with a frown, "They were pulling her hair... Threatening to cut it off. So I shoved them away from her. Then they punched me."

"He's not in trouble is he?" Kaida asked quietly, tear marks streaking her face.

"Of course he isn't." Ichigo took Hotaru and Kaida's hand and lead them both from the alleyway, "Come on, let's get you home. Your dad can patch you both up and check you over."

"Dad's gonna be so mad." Hotaru groaned.

"Why would he be mad at you?"

"We weren't meant to go out today... But we wanted to go to the park. I said I'd take Kaida and look after her and this happened... He's gonna be so mad with us both."

"I think your dad will probably tell you not to go off without telling him again, but he'll be more worried about you than mad." Ichigo murmured, "Besides, I'll be with you."

He glanced at his bags of shopping as he passed and inwardly sighed, he needed another three arms at least he decided as he walked on by. He would come back later to see if anything was still there, and if not then he'd just have to do another shop. Right now, there was a little dragon and a firefly who needed him more than he needed his bags of food.

"How did you know where we were?" Kaida asked quietly.

"Huh?"

"You found us so fast!" She tilted her head.

"I... I was in the area and heard the commotion." He said honestly, "I'm glad I was around though. Those kids were like twice your size! Who were they anyway?"

"They're in the year above us." Hotaru muttered.

"Are they the ones who made you self conscious before Kaida?"

"Yeah." She whispered, her fingers wrapping around her hair.

"Brats." He hissed, "Picking on kids smaller than they are. They're cowards, nothing more."

"They sure ran fast when you got there!" Hotaru said suddenly, as if realising, "You must be super strong..."

Ichigo smiled sadly, "Not as strong as I used to be."

By the time they were walking up the path to their home, Kaida and Hotaru were in better spirits and waited silently as Ichigo knocked on the door. They looked a little bashful when Ishida opened the door and took in the sight before him.

"What the... What happened?!" The Quincy demanded, "Come inside!"

"What's all the shouting about?" Orihime asked, poking her head around the doorway from the kitchen as the three of them bundled into the hallway, "Oh my goodness!"

"They're fine." Ichigo said as he let Kaida go and watched the girl instantly run to her mother, "I happened to be passing and... Hotaru was protecting her from some bullies."

"Bullies?" Ishida's eyes narrowed, "Was it those kids from the year above them again?"

"Yeah." He nodded once, "They seem fine. Hotaru's nose will probably bruise, but it's not broken. Kaida's just got some scuffs. They'll be alright."

The Quincy looked down at Hotaru, his expression stern as he knelt down, "And how exactly did you manage to escape the house without me noticing?"

"Uh..." The boy bit his lip nervously as his nose was inspected, "I... Found some of your books... On how to suppress reiatsu..."

"And you've been teaching yourself and your sister?" Ishida's eyebrow quirked in annoyance.

"Maybe?"

Ichigo had to repress a smirk, covering his mouth with his hand as he cleared his throat. Clearly Ishida had underestimated how talented his children would become.

"I see." The Quincy sighed and dabbed away the blood from his son's nose with a cloth, before showing the smallest of smiles, "I'm proud of you."

"You... Are?"

"You protected your sister, even when things got tough you stuck by her. Of course I'm proud of you." Ishida hugged his son tightly and then turned to check on Kaida, Orihime had already finished healing her cuts and bruises, "And you, little one, come here."

Ichigo watched as Ishida hugged the twins and leaned against the door frame casually, it was always nice to see what a good father the Quincy had become, despite the unpleasant way Ryūken had raised him.

"Right, you two, go upstairs and rest. We'll call you down when dinner is ready." Orihime clapped her hands and watched the pair hurry up the staircase, "Thank you Kurosaki-kun."

"Huh? Oh I didn't do anything." He waved a hand, "I just happened to be there."

"It seems I will have to start teaching them sooner than I though." Ishida muttered as he straightened up, brushing his suit down, "They're far more advanced than I was at their age. Even with the Hōgyoku's interference."

"What do you expect, you're both gifted." The strawberry shrugged and straightened up, "Right, I'll get off. I need to go and... Fuck I need to see if my shopping's still here. See you later!" He said before sprinting out of the house and down the street.

By the time he skidded to a stop at the mouth of the alley his bags were gone. He knew they would be. There was no way it wouldn't have been stolen.

"Ugh," he ran a hand down his face, "Whatever."

Ichigo rolled his eyes, shoved his hands in his pockets and headed home. It was still way too hot for his liking and he was sure that a few more days of sunlight would leave his skin the same colour as Renji's hair, or worse. He trudged up to the third floor of the apartment block and plodded along to his door, pausing as he found himself staring at three seemingly perfect bags of groceries.

"What the fuck?" He said aloud, glancing around to see if someone was waiting for him.

Shrugging at his good fortune, he grabbed the bags and unlocked his apartment door, flicking on a light as he headed into the kitchen. It was only when he put the bags on the counter that he noticed the little sticky note inside one of them. He plucked it free and glanced over the message.

"Saw the spat in the alley and picked up your shopping. Thank me with a drink. Makoto." Ichigo raised an eyebrow and threw the note in the bin with a chuckle, "Motherfucker."

They'd met up several times since meeting at Keigo's bar. Once or twice had been at the club again, and a few times for coffee. Ichigo was reluctant to admit that he found the man's company somewhat refreshing. There was none of the silent acknowledgement that Soul Society hadn't been in contact, or that Ichigo was adjusting to a life that was just a little too small for him. It was neutral, natural and easy. Makoto was easy on the eye as well as the braincells.

Ichigo unpacked his shopping and put everything away, taking the time to make a sandwich before he plodded into the main room and sat down. He wasn't in the mood for television or reading. He wasn't really in the mood for much at all, he decided as he munched on his food. He couldn't quite shake his surprise at having found Kaida and Hotaru in the clutches of bullies, Kaida's confidence had already taken a few knocks because of her hair and now people were physically escalating the situation. He was sure Ishida and Orihime could handle it but... It didn't stop him wanting to go and find the parents of the little brats to see what the hell they were teaching their kids.

He stared across the wall, attention grabbed the the mask hanging about half way up. Scarlet and gold, the samurai mask from the carnival. He'd kept it, hung it on the wall when he'd got the apartment. In fact, it had been one of the first things he'd unpacked. Silly really.

Shaking his head, he chucked his plate down on the coffee table and pulled his phone from his pocket. It was still early and he didn't have work. He glanced at the paper bag still poking its head out of the bin and rolled his eyes. He dropped Makoto a text, inviting him over for a coffee.

Taking his plate out to clean, he was surprised when his phone pinged almost instantly with an eager reply. Smiling to himself as he washed his plate, dried it and put it away, Ichigo made sure the apartment was presentable.

It wasn't long before there was a ring of the doorbell, and he was admitting the man entrance.

"I'm glad you messaged." The dark haired man grinned, taking his shoes off, "I've been bored out of my mind!"

"Your friends still aren't back?" Ichigo asked as he flopped on the couch.

"They are, they came back yesterday but... Well, turns out they're all too busy to spare any time for me." He shrugged, "So... I'm thinking of leaving Karakura town soon, maybe in a few weeks... There's nothing really for me here."

"Oh." The strawberry paused, his expression visibly unhappy for a moment, "That's a shame. I'll miss you."

"Nah, you'll forget all about me after a month or two!" He laughed, sitting beside him on the sofa, "Besides, what's the point of hanging onto people who aren't interested and don't make the effort? I'd rather face the truth now than in a few more months. They aren't my friends anymore. They're just people I used to know."

Ichigo sat back in his seat and frowned faintly, it was uncomfortable to admit how close the comparison was to his own life. Surely Soul Society had tracked Izanshi down by now, and if so why had no one been to see him since the Espada? He felt guilty for even thinking it, but it was as if they had all forgotten him. He'd done his bit for the Soul King and now he's was being left out to pasture. He wasn't important anymore.

"Ugh, fuck them." Ichigo said suddenly, slapping his hand on his leg, "If they don't appreciate you then don't give them another thought. You're young, you're attractive and smart. You can go anywhere, do anything! You don't need some... Dead weight friendship holding you back."

"Oh so you think I'm handsome now?" Makoto wiggled his eyebrows.

"Fuck off." The strawberry looked away with a smile, "I'm just saying... Don't put yourself on a back burner for people who keep letting you down."

"You sound like you get it." He rested his chin on his hand, "Is that guy of yours still giving you the cold shoulder then?"

Ichigo's lips pursed and he glanced at him fleetingly, "It's not... Exactly his fault."

"Oh yeah? I've heard that before. Come on then, tell me how its not his fault."

They moved into the kitchen as he put the kettle on and prepared two mugs, his arms folding over his chest restlessly, "His... Job... It's keeping us apart and his bosses have... Ordered him not to visit. They're busy as hell, it would be selfish to assume they can spare time just for me." He muttered.

"And you used to work for these guys too right?" Makoto asked.

"Yeah."

"Well... You must have other friends there. And none of them have bothered to visit?"

"A couple of them did a few months back but... Nothing since then. They were just dropping in to tell me that someone we used to... Run security for has gone rogue, so to speak." He rubbed his chin, "Apparently he might want a rematch because I had something to do with them finding out he was playing both sides of the fence."

"I see..." Makoto leaned back against the counter, looking at Ichigo seriously, "Look, maybe I'm speaking out of turn here but it seems kind of simple from where I'm sitting. If I cared about you as much as your friends are meant to, as much as your man is meant to then... Nothing would stop me from coming to visit you, even if it was to make sure you were settling in alright. I mean... Come on, what is some job compared to the people you love? Your man needs to get his priorities right or he'll end up losing you."

Ichigo huffed, he'd been thinking the same thing recently. If he was really that important to his friends would a few orders really stop them coming to see him? The Espada had taken the time to sneak out. But his closest friends? Rukia? Renji? Byakuya? He hadn't seen anything of them. He knew that if their places had been reversed nothing would have stopped him sneaking out at every opportunity to see them.

"Maybe you're right." He shrugged, looking down as he finished making the drinks, "I want to believe that they are just busy. But... You're right, I mean I wouldn't let a few little rules get in the way if it was me."

"I'm sorry..." The man sighed deeply, "I shouldn't have said that, I'm a jackass. I'm sure they haven't... Forgotten about you or anything. Maybe they're struggling too. Maybe they miss you that much that coming to see you and then leaving you behind again would be... Painful."

"Who knows." He muttered, taking a heavy sip of the hot liquid, "Whatever, I didn't ask you here to reminisce about how shit life is. Thanks for picking up my shopping by the way."

"Oh, no worries. I was passing in the car and saw you with those two kids. They looked upset, did something happen?"

"Just some lowlife bullies." Ichigo replied, "I took them back to their parents, they'll be fine before the day's over."

"Let me guess... The girl's hair?"

"How did you know?" He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, seems kids haven't changed that much in the last twenty years. They still hate anything that's different."

"I'm guessing you got that shit growing up too?"

"Of course." He snorted, "Kids never change."

"Well, I'm sure the girl will learn to have belief in herself before too long, she'll tell them where to go." Makoto smiled comfortingly, "And if all else fails... Go beat the parents up. I'll give you an alibi."

Ichigo laughed softly and shook his head, "Don't tempt me. Honestly, I wouldn't be all that surprised if they ended up being the spawn of the kids who used to bully me. It probably runs in families."

"Probably."

Letting out a breath, Ichigo stared down at the brown liquid in his mug, biting his lip, "You know... It will be a shame to see you leave. But you should seize your own life, forget about everything else and just... Live."

"Sounds like you should take your own advice." Makoto murmured, "Are you really going to waste away here... Waiting on a guy who's let you down for the last... What was it... Six months?"

"Seven now..." He whispered, "Every day... It's creeping closer and closer to a year... I'm not sure what to do with myself anymore. I want to believe he still cares but... I know we probably aren't going to see each other again. I want him to be happy. I want to be happy too."

"I don't know what went on between you... I don't feel like you're ready to be entirely honest about it either but..." The man shook his head, "Someone like you shouldn't wither away like a nun."

"Like me?" He snorted.

"Yes, like you." Makoto straightened up and reached out boldly, brushing his fingers through Ichigo's hair, "Handsome... Intelligent... Funny... You deserve better than to be disregarded and forgotten."

Ichigo's mouth was dry, the way Makoto was looking at him... He hadn't seen that look in a long time. It was tender, but it was deep. He felt his chest tighten with the familiar anxiety he got whenever he considered trying to move on. There were just too many variables. What if something changed? What if Byakuya suddenly appeared in Karakura town to see him?

But it had been seven months. Seven long months and there hadn't been a single sign. Not a word from Ishida, Orihime or Chad, they hadn't seen any Shinigami either. No one had come to visit. No one.

Maybe Makoto had been right. Maybe they didn't care about him as much as he cared about them. Maybe things had changed. Maybe Byakuya and Grimmjow had ended up closer, maybe they had gotten together just like he'd given his blessing for. Maybe that was why... Maybe that was why he was alone.

All he was left with was the stifling gazes of his Human friends while they watched for the smallest change. Their stares had become more and more pronounced, or maybe he had just started to notice them easier. Where once it had made him feel cared for, he now began to find it irritating and suffocating. It was as if they didn't believe he could function, he couldn't live a normal Human life without snapping mentally. Their lack of faith was hurtful.

"I was meant to be getting married." Ichigo said quietly, lowered his gaze from Makoto's face, "In the Spring... Now... We were meant to be getting married."

"You were engaged?" The dark haired man blinked, "You never said..."

"I thought I had... Sorry..." He ducked his head sheepishly, "I don't think you'd understand half of what we went through, it's... Crazy and insane and... Messy... But I believed we could get through it. I gave up everything to protect people I care about, people I love and... They've abandoned me."

"I won't pretend I get it... But... It sounds to me like you deserve better."

"I just wish I knew! For sure! A message... A visit... Anything just to put my mind at rest. To let me know whether or not I can move on..." He rubbed his forehead restlessly, "I can't believe he'd abandon me but... All the evidence suggests otherwise."

"You deserve better." Makoto said again.

"Yeah... I do." He muttered.