Chapter 60:
Trigger warnings: mild references to rape (POV 4)
Carla
"Where have you been?" I snap as soon as I hear the click of the front door, Michelle shuffling through it.
"For a walk-"
"I've been ringing your phone!" I tap mine violently, continuing to pace the flat despite the fact I finally knew she was safe.
"...It's on silent." She just glances down at it, pulling a slight face. "I couldn't sleep so I took an early walk."
"An early walk? It's just gone six!" I state the obvious as she slowly removes her jacket, hanging it back up on the peg. "You should've told me."
"Well you were asleep, anyway I'm back now." She shrugs it off, avoiding eye contact as she makes her way to the kitchen, putting a pot of coffee on. There's a pause as she faffs with equipment, still facing away from me as she says, "you shouldn't be stressing, the doctor said-"
"Well you're making me stress!" I cut her off, noticing the slight flinch of her body at my words. Still facing towards the wall, she lets out a slow exhale. "You've been weird for days, Michelle. What's going on?"
Another bitter silence. She eventually turns to me, forcing a smile on her face. "Nothing." She says brightly, passing me and heading towards the bedroom. "Just a lot on at work, that's all."
Michelle
"Ooh, fifteen minutes past nine." Ray taps his watch once I push the door to the bistro open, my body freezing in place. My teeth grit harshly, I'd had a feeling when the door had been unlocked that this could be the dreaded explanation, but it didn't make it any easier to see him standing there, pride of place, sick grin exposing his pearly white teeth. "You're gonna have to sharpen up on your punctuality. I do hate a lax business partner."
"...Don't get too comfortable." I mutter, eyeing up the keys in his hand. I could tell they were Kate's because it still had the rhinestoned 'R' keyring that her and Rana had exchanged in Dubai. She elongated the story for about an hour, telling me how 'they'd always have a piece of each other with them'. It had knocked me sick at the time, but seeing him stood there with it gripped in his clammy fist, not his property but still just as fitting, it made me realise what real sickness felt like. Truly, the rhinestones didn't really suit his tyrannising personality, it wasn't the kind of thing a typical bully would carry around. "I haven't spoken to Kate about this yet. And when I do, I'll get to the bottom of what happened, and I'll be calling my lawyer."
"Ooh, a proactive attitude." Ray almost sneers, leaning across the counter ever so intimidatingly. "Now that is something I like to see." I remain silent, taking a step forward as he produces a laminate folder, throwing it on the desk. "Contracts." He beams with enthusiasm, watching the flicker of my eyes between him and the stack of paperwork. "I'm sure you'll be wanting to read over everything, see if there's any way you can file a lawsuit against me."
"You bet I will." I challenge him viciously, hearing the door swing open behind me. I spin around to settle my eyes on Ryan's, strangely and worryingly early for the first time in his life. "Ry? You're not due till ten."
"What's he doing here?" Ryan instantly asks with a level of disgust, eyeing Ray up and down. "Behind the bar?"
"Ah, you must be Ryan, correct?" Ray paces quickly towards him, holding out a hand for him to shake. Ryan doesn't remove his eye contact, keeping his arms firmly by his sides. "Ray Crosby. Your new boss."
"My new what?" Ryan splutters, his head jolting in my direction. He could see the fury and hatred in my expression, and it mirrors in his own as he looks back to him. "My mum is my only boss, thank you."
"Oh wow, a strict and uncompromising upbringing." Ray finally lowers his hand, nodding at me impressively. "That's always good to see." He hesitates before jingling his keys, sharply interrupting the silence that has fallen. "Well anyway, I'm off to get some mints from the corner shop." He passes Ryan. "I trust you'll be able to keep things ticking over for fifteen minutes?"
As soon as we hear the exterior door swing shut, Ryan races towards me. "Right, call your solicitor. This is surely theft or fraud or something."
"...Do you even know what fraud is, Ryan?" I sigh, rubbing my brow in thought. I mull over his words. There had to be some flaw in everything. Firstly, I needed to speak to Kate. But I knew she wouldn't want to come here, especially with Ray lurking around, and I definitely didn't want to leave him in charge of my business. I bite my lip hard, weighing up my options, before meeting my son's gaze. "Can you do something for me?"
Carla
"Is Michelle going to be working here anymore?" Sarah finally pipes up from the corner of the office. I knew it had been weighing on her mind because she had been staring at Michelle's vacant desk while chewing her pen for the past five minutes. Whether it was that she wanted her workspace, or whether she was genuinely concerned I didn't know, but either way, I didn't even know the answer. "Only I haven't seen much of her recently."
"You and me both." I flash her a smile, looking up from my computer and I can tell she senses the twinge of annoyance in my tone. "Since she started that restaurant back up it's been late nights and early mornings-" I stop suddenly, my eyes growing wide as I feel a flutter in my stomach. It was the most bizarre but magical feeling. I hand falls to my bump as Sarah stares at me wildly, concern in her eyes. "Oh my God." I whisper, letting out a laugh all of a sudden as I feel the soft flutters beneath my fingers. "The babies are kicking."
"No way!" Sarah beams excitedly, rushing over to me. "Can I?"
"Yeah." I indicate as she lays a hand on my tummy, biting her lip suddenly, probably from a sense of nostalgia. "Wow that's... Amazing." I gasp at the sensation. "I was getting worried... I'm so relieved."
"Crazy, isn't it?" Sarah places her other hand on my shoulder supportively. "I remember feeling it with Bethany for the first time. I think that's when it really hit me. Granted, I was terrified but... Isn't it incredible? That's them, inside you."
"Do you think they seem happy?" I stupidly ask, as if my PA was now my midwife and she lets out an amused laugh at my question. "I'm just obviously worried because of everything the hospital said and... I hit twenty weeks a few days ago and thought oh God, I still haven't felt the babies kick... And I couldn't really share that with Michelle because I don't want to worry her and she's got all this stuff on with the bistro..." I trail off at Sarah's bewildered expression. "Sorry... I'm just so relieved."
"Well I'm not a medical professional." Sarah decides to head back to her desk, spinning her chair to face me. "But they seem pretty lively in my opinion."
"Yeah?" I exhale at her reassurance, my head snapping in the direction of the door when it flies open. It was as if she could sense what was happening from the next building along, as Michelle appears in the doorway. "Baby, you'll never guess what-"
"Why've you hired a psychopath?" Michelle cuts over me. Clearly her foul mood hadn't shifted. My brow furrows at her question, glancing out onto the shop floor. "That Vicky. She's rude and very unprofessional. I thought we were going to discuss these kinds of decisions before we made them?"
"...Well sorry but you've hardly been here." I refrain from scoffing at her cheek. "I was going to bring it up yesterday but you weren't back until gone eleven."
"Well you'll have to fire her." Michelle shrugs and I just pause in stupefaction at her words.
"Michelle I'm not..." I hesitate, laughing slightly all of a sudden. "On what grounds?" I ask her more sharply and she doesn't respond, just arches a brow cockily. "We needed somebody else in packing, she was perfect for the role-"
"Do you fancy her?" She butts in and my head falls into my hands, emitting a soft groan. I squeeze my eyes shut, practically hearing Michelle's silence as she thinks on what to say next. "She came into the bistro yesterday and kicked off at me for not hiring her son-"
"Michelle we've got to get this King's Robes order out! We're on a tight schedule!" I look up, waving my hand at the computer. "And in order to meet the deadline we need someone else in packing. Vicky's a good worker. Maybe if you'd have been here you'd understand my point!" I soften once I see the stress woven into her expression. Sarah taps away at her computer, pretending not to exist as we carry out our domestic. "Baby, you look exhausted. It's unhealthy the hours you're working at that place, and I've hardly seen you. Here or at home. I thought the whole point was that Kate was taking it over-"
"Well Kate can't at the moment." She stops me, fumbling in her pockets and producing something wrapped in foil. "Look, I'm not gonna be back 'til late again-"
"Michelle!"
"So will you pick up Liam from school for me? I told Maria I'd do it." She continues, her expression making it apparent that she wouldn't take no for an answer. "I'm sorry, it's just hectic at the moment. It won't be like this forever." She flashes me a forced smile before leaving the office, the door trailing an unwanted breeze behind it. I exhale slowly, daring to make eye contact with Sarah, who looks sympathetic. Hesitantly, I unwrap the brownie Michelle had brought me in foil, pushing it to the side of my desk disinterestedly. I'd really thought this pregnancy would be different, but I was starting to feel just as alone as I had with Peter. I just hoped it wasn't for the same reason...
Michelle
"Interesting centre pieces." Ray comments when he reaches my side of the bar. I keep my head down, continuing to scribble on the stock take I had been trying to focus on for ten minutes. "What lead you to choose them?"
"I didn't. Robert did." I just respond shortly and he dares to just him in response. "And I think they're fine."
"...I see why they're outdated then." He continues to judge and I just grit my teeth, scribbling out a number rather violently all of a sudden. "Want me to do that?"
"No I don't!" I finally snap, staring at him with fire in my eyes. He made me sick, everything about him. I hated men who felt they had the power to force women around, and he was definitely one of them.
"...Wow." He replies in his dodgy Manchester accent, which I was sure was fake. Everything about him seemed fake. I didn't trust him in the slightest. "It's like you're the one with the pregnancy hormones. I can see why you decided it's best for you to not carry the baby-"
"Don't you dare." I warn him, raising a finger in his face suddenly. He looks taken aback at my aggression, face blank as I bite back my anger. "Don't you dare comment on that. You have no idea."
Ray pauses as I recede, holding his hands up in a petty surrender charade. "Only a joke." He turns in the direction Ryan is entering, locking eyes with me and throwing over a look of unsettlement. "Ah! Here he is; my wing man." Ray tries to butter him up, but Ryan reacts in a totally different manner, practically squaring up to him.
"Ryan." I warn him, noting the twitch of Ryan's fist, desperate to make him pay for what he had done. "In the office, Ry." I ask him forcefully, heading off in that direction and registering his reluctance. "Now!" Eventually I feel the heavy plod of Ryan's footsteps behind me, closing the office door behind us. "So? What did she say?"
"That Ray offered her fifty grand for her shares and she accepted." Ryan shrugs and I soak up his words, my mind like a sponge of confusion. "But something was... Off."
"Well yeah, she told me he tried to rape her!"
"That was after she signed on the dotted, apparently." Ryan confesses and I stutter in perplexity, waiting for him to continue. "She said he invited her over to apologise for any remarks that might have seemed homophobic that day. They got to talking, cracked open a bottle of wine, she was borderline drunk, then he offered her the fifty grand but said she could keep her job as manager. I asked her why she accepted and she just said that her and Rana need the money right now... Apparently Ray had all the contracts drawn up already and because she was quite intoxicated, she just signed. Then afterwards, he made a move, she knocked him back. He persisted... Then she managed to pull away and leave. Hasn't seen him again since-"
"Hang on, go back." I retrace his words, furrowing my brow as I try to work out the puzzle. "Ray got her drunk so she would sign the contracts?"
"I'm not sure that was the intention..." Ryan responds. "But it sounds like it sweetened the deal for her, yeah."
"Well... Then it's misconduct..." I slowly divulge. "If she wasn't of sound mind to make the decision then surely it's unenforceable?"
Ryan sceptically tries to untangle my words, before admitting, "but mum... She didn't say she was forced into signing. It sounds to me like she wants to keep the deal as it is." He hesitates, fixing his gaze on mine. "...I don't know what she needs this money for... But whatever it is, it seems important."
Carla
"It's been a long time since we did this, hasn't it?" I fashion a cheery tone as Liam leads me out of the school gates, fixing his bright red Cars rucksack on my shoulder. It clashed with my pink scarf and it wasn't the usual clutch bag I would pair with an outfit, but I supposed I needed to get used to this image.
"...When have we ever done this?" He asks, but not with too much resentment in his tone, which made a dramatic change from when I used to walk Simon home from school. At least there had been no shouting or accusations thrown around on the playground, he hadn't run off or refused to come with me. He had, however, looked shocked that it was me waiting on the playground, iced bun in hand that Roy had suggested I took with me to butter him up. I used to take toffees for Simon, but the first few times they would usually be stamped into the pavement, if we got further than the school gates, that was. "My mum said Michelle was picking me up today?"
"Yeah she was." I respond, throwing him the brightest smile I could as he munches on his cake. "But... Well I asked if I could do it." A blatant lie. I didn't believe it should be such a nerve wracking experience to visit the school playground, but for me, it was. "You see I'll be doing this every day soon. Plus, I wanted to see you. We don't really get to spend that much time together, do we?"
"...No." Liam just shrugs his shoulders. It was true - despite what a big impact his dad's side of the family had taken on my life growing up, I had always felt quite distanced from Liam. Maybe it was because he was looking more and more like his dad everyday, or maybe it was that I struggled to connect with kids. But the twins were going to be his cousins, and I needed now more than ever to make the effort. "...Are you my auntie?"
"Uh..." I try to formulate a response, thinking back over the timeline. "Well I suppose-"
"Because you were married to my uncle Paul, weren't you? And now you're married to my auntie Michelle?" He makes it apparent to me and I just nod slowly, surprised at his knowledge. "Mummy tells me about my uncle Paul sometimes, and she said you were married to him."
"...I was, yes." I nod, glad he clearly wasn't sharp on the knowledge about me and his dad just to complete the trio. "You know, I grew up with them all; your dad, your uncle Paul and your auntie Michelle... And you remember uncle Aidan? Him too, and Kate. We all lived on the same estate."
"...What's an estate?" He asks interestedly and I hope I'm not crossing the line by opening the door to our childhood.
"Uh well it's a block of flats... Ours was called Brightwell." I inform him as we round a corner. "We got up to all sorts of mischief."
"Like what?" His eyes sparkle excitedly and I let out a soft laugh, hesitating at his question.
"Like... We'd all go to this place called the quarry, it was this big open space nearby and we'd play games there when our parents told us not to." I decide to go for something less irresponsible than others. "Or one time... Me, your dad and auntie Michelle covered your uncle Paul's car in cling film... He was late to work that morning, we got in so much trouble."
"Cool." Liam grins, finishing off his cake as we near Victoria Street. "Do you have any other stories about my dad? My mum tells me some, but she didn't know him for as long as you did. And I never want to ask my auntie, I can tell it makes her sad."
I swallow against the lump in my throat, breath hitching as I stare down at the little boy by my side. Pausing outside Victoria Gardens, I point to the bench and he goes over, taking a seat patiently. "Your dad... Where do I start?" I perch on the bench opposite him, my eyes climbing the brickwork behind him, engraved with moss and memories. "We'd always wind each other up. Bickering like little kids all the time, we were, even when we were adults. But we were so close all the same." I pause, biting my lip at a thought. "Hey, this one time, oh I'd never been so mad at him. It was his twenty first birthday and he gave everybody the directions to where it was taking place. I got given an invitation separately, so I got all dressed up ready to meet your uncle Paul there and asked the cab to drop me at the location I was given. Only, he was havin' me on, wasn't he? I ended up at a scout hut in Moss Side! All alone in these woods, in my five inch stilettos, ey, it were a right picture."
Liam let's out a shout of laughter at the story, before asking, "did you get to the right place in the end?"
"Yeah. But I had to go in the hut and interrupt the scouts mid-session!" I prompt his laughter to continue, realising how much I was enjoying spending time with him and moving to crouch down in front of where he is sat. "I went in and said 'I'm so sorry, my friend sent me to the completely wrong place, do you have a number for a cab firm nearby?' In the end, your uncle Paul came to pick me up. Oh I didn't half 'ave your dad when I arrived at the right place. His face was red with laughter the minute I entered, I knew he'd done it on purpose from that moment." I give him a nudge. "Anyway, I held a grudge for a few hours. Then the DJ started playing one of our favourite songs... I don't suppose you've ever heard of the band The Verve, have you?" I ask and he shakes his head slowly. "Well, they were me and your dad's band. He dragged me up to dance and apologised for leading me to the wrong place. Then all was well with the world again. You see, he was too hard to stay mad at, your dad. Cheeky smile, the mischievous glint in his eye... A bit like you actually." I squeeze his cheek lightly and he giggles again. "Look at yer. You'll look just like him one day."
There's a brief silence as Liam absorbs the information, before quietly asking. "...Do you miss him?"
"Everyday." I answer honestly, staring at the child so earnestly. "And I just know... He would have loved you so much. So, so much. You're all he ever wanted."
"I wish I'd met him." Liam practically whispers and I have to dip my head slightly, preventing tears from falling. "Do you feel the same? About your babies? Even though they're not born yet?"
"...I do." I return to smile at him, realising how much I meant it as I say it out loud. "So much... And I think you're going to be a brilliant big cousin to them."
"I hope so." Liam beams again now, jumping up from his seat. "Can we get a hot chocolate from Roy's? Michelle always takes me."
"Oh well if Michelle always takes you." I accept the hand he is holding out, following as he leads me out of the gardens. "How can I refuse?"
Michelle
I check my watch the second my hand falls to the door handle. Eleven forty seven, surely Carla would be asleep again. I feel immense guilt at the fact she had been left alone all evening once more, cooking her own tea, stuck in front of the television, thinking over our blunt interaction in the factory earlier on. I missed her, and it was all my fault that I missed her.
Upon pushing the door open, I notice Carla is still curled up in the armchair, eyes closed, blanket pulled around her. Her hair was swept up in a messy bun and she was bundled in her pyjamas. Clearly, she had been waiting up for me, but fallen asleep in the process.
I take in everything she is. Everything I missed and loved. She was battling so hard for us and our family, and all I was doing was adding more tinder to the fire.
"Hey." I whisper quietly, kneeling before her and she slowly stirs, my heart fluttering slightly as she lets out a hum, slipping her face beneath the blanket. "You shouldn't fall asleep on there, you'll hurt your back." I pull the blanket away from her face, her eyes opening slowly as she lets out a yawn, connecting with me at last. "I'm so sorry I'm late... Again... And for how I acted earlier... I've been rubbish."
"Yeah, a little." Her voice is croaky and it makes me melt, pushing a piece of stray hair back from her face. "I just miss you."
"I miss you too." I admit, grazing a thumb over her hand and letting out a soft exhale at the realisation. "I'm here now, hey?"
"Mm." She smiles, accepting the kiss I plant on her lips, studying me when I move away before revealing, "the babies kicked today."
The words hit me with surprise. A mixture of emotion circulates through me; relief, excitement... And a hint of sadness. Sadness that I wasn't first hand experiencing it this time round? Sadness that I had missed it? "...Oh my God..." Tears spring to my eyes, cupping her face with my hand. She bites her lip in excitement, nodding, tears brimming in her own now. "Baby, that's amazing... How do you feel?"
"Relieved more than anything... But also... Scared." She swallows. "It's all becoming so real."
"It's a good sign." I reassure her, sitting in the moment for a few seconds before admitting, "I'm gutted I missed it though."
"You were actually there..." She trails off, noticing the furrow my brow. "It was just before you came into Underworld... I was going to tell you... Sorry."
"Oh..." Is all I can release, instantly hating myself. Storming in, throwing demands around, prioritising my preferences as ever. I hadn't even stopped to check what had been going on. "...Oh God." My head drops to my hands suddenly. "I'm sorry, Carla... I can't believe I did that... Did you tell anyone?"
"Sarah." She nods. "She felt it, she was really helpful actually, she gave me loads of reassurance."
"Sarah Platt felt my babies move before me." I sigh in annoyance, mentally kicking myself. "Because I can't get my flamin' priorities in check."
"It's ok... It'll happen again." Carla moves my hand away from my face, lacing her fingers with mine. "We've got our whole lives, haven't we? What does two minutes matter when we've got forever?"
"Cheesy." I hum, but nodding in appreciation all the same. "You get that from Roy's little book of inspirational phrases?"
Carla pauses, weighing up the questions in her mind before broaching, "is there anything you want to talk to me about?" She murmurs, walking her fingers up my arm and poking my cheek. "I can tell... There's a lot on your mind. I can take it, you know? Even if I do have a... Broken womb or whatever."
"I don't think that's medically correct." I sigh at the look on her face, swallowing hard before admitting, "it's just the bistro. I know, I know it shouldn't be so high on my priorities list right now but..."
As I trail off, Carla nods slightly, knowing exactly where my sentence was going despite me withholding the full story from her, "so what is it this man Crosby finds so irresistible about that place? Eh?" I look taken-aback at her assumption. "Apart from you that is."
I pause, open-mouthed, debating whether to tell her the truth about the turn of events over the last few days. Kate's confession, Ray's forced entry to the business and the way he was constantly picking away at me. But I was so terrified that the truth would cause her to fly off the handle. I couldn't risk that again, not when we were on such thin ice. Instead, I opt to question her latter observation, "what, you think that's what this is all about?" I ask it more with concern than offence. It had crossed my mind that perhaps Ray had some kind of obsession with me, some dark attraction that working together would draw him to act on. But then I decided maybe that was narcissistic of me to assume, or perhaps I was just too scared to admit it could be a possibility.
"Well no, not all." Carla shrugs it off, playing with my fingers as she avoids my gaze. "But hey, look at that place... It's just a shabby-chic bar-restaurant with a bog-standard menu, in't it really?"
"Oh right!" I let out a slightly offended laugh at her opinion, jabbing her hand playfully. "I mean apart from that though!"
"You know I'm kiddin'." Carla grins, curling a finger under my chin and tilting my eyes to hers. "You've done a fab job at continuing that place in Robert's memory... I'm proud of you."
I try to conceal the guilt in my expression as I stare back at her, sighing slowly before responding with, "...You know everything always comes second to you though?"
"Mm." Carla moves in to kiss me, more passionately than I was expecting before lacing our fingers together and pulling herself up, leading me towards the bedroom. She turns to face me momentarily, a wicked grin on her face, eyes like fire as she huskily whispers, "so prove it."
