Serena walked down the Hogwarts drive, hoping the headache potion she had just taken would kick in soon. She had slept better that night than she had all week. She had been full of stress after sending her letter, unsure if she had done the right thing, wondering if he would even open it. When she had heard the bedroom door open she wasn't sure if it was relief or fear that had hit her first. When she had felt his crying and heard his sobs she had stopped thinking at all. Her poor man had suffered so much and yet he always, always blamed himself. She couldn't imagine how much he must have hated himself in that week, and how much his self-loathing must still stifle him.

Minerva's words had drifted into her mind, "he sometimes forgets he's human…". She had thought back to February, and to how she had such frustration and anger built up inside of her. How filthy and unworthy she had felt… Then, she had remembered Christmas last year, when she had been full of stress and worry, and Severus had suggested something to help her. Well, she hoped this would help him too.

"Professor Snape," she said curtly as she met him at the gates. He had a black pair of trousers and a turtleneck black jumper on, under a thick black robe. She, herself, had changed her skirt for a pair of leggings.

"Professor Lake," he drawled, looking decidedly disinterested, and she almost smiled at how he could so easily slip into his teacher persona.

"Well don't keep me waiting all day," she snapped, "I already had to change my plans for you," she held out her arm and Severus took it without looking at her. She took a deep breath, concentrated, and spun them both away.

Severus let go of her arm immediately and spun around almost violently, taking in his surroundings with sharp eyes. The air was cold and there was a biting wind, but she saw him appreciate the beauty of the place. They were in the very centre of one of Wales' mountain ranges. Steep cliffs and jagged mountains rose up around them, and snow was just visible on the tips, which were often swallowed by thick cloud.

Severus understood immediately and he raised his eyebrows, moving his eyes from the view to her now. "Which one?"

"Ones," she corrected him. She knew exactly how much emotion Severus needed to expulse, and she knew that she would need to push him hard in order to get a reaction. "We are starting over there," she pointed to a small path about four hundred yards away. "Taking that route up there, then some scrabbling over the top of Crib Goch, up to Snowdon, and then we're carrying on along that ridge there and doing the next two summits. I hope to be back down by sunset. Elizabeth was more than happy to prepare a picnic." She touched the small rucksack her noticed she was wearing and then gave him a challenging look. "The thick cloak may be a tad encumbering, I don't think you'll be cold at the rate we'll be walking."

He raised his eyebrows again and slipped his cloak off, shrinking it and handing it to her to put in the bag.

"Right, come on then."

With that, she took off over the first field, relieved when she heard his footsteps behind her.

Within fifteen minutes they were both panting heavily and Serena had pulled off her jumper, her long sleeved t-shirt was already drenched with sweat and Severus' forehead was shining in the winter sun. She kept the rhythm fast, glad of the energy potion and cereal bar she had ingested before coming out. She needed to push Severus to his limits, and for that she needed to make sure she could keep up with him too.

He was extremely fit, and never shied away from exercise, but he hadn't eaten that morning and had barely touched his coffee. She was also sure that he was a tad hungover from wherever he had been drinking the night before. Even this morning he had still stunk of whiskey.

When the path widened they walked side by side, not needing to talk as the birds tweeted around them and the cold wind moved the bare trees and sometimes whistled through the valleys.

At one point, Severus had to give her a hand up some rocks, and the touch of his hand in hers made their magic crackle, and she had a whoosh of something in her stomach, as she had a year ago when he had taken her hand to hold or kissed her for the first time.

After an hour, the path steepened and became narrower, and he went first, leading them along in single file.

When they made it to the start of Crib Goch, a long sharp, knife-edge ridge, Severus paused for a rest, his hands on his hips, his breath heavy. She wondered if he was starting to feel tired.

She gave him twenty seconds, and then took the lead, edging out carefully onto the ridge, keeping three of her limbs steady at all times. They advanced slowly and carefully, conscious of the steep drop on either side of them and the wind that had started to pick up, the closer they got to the first summit. She miss-stepped once and Severus' hand shot out to steady her. They watched silently as a rush of scurry fell down the edge of the mountain and crashed into the jagged rocks below.

She took a deep breath and continued slightly slower this time, scrambling over the edge, her heart pounding in her chest.

Once they had both made it safely across, it was only another hundred metres or so to the first summit.

They didn't have much of a view at the top, and there was a small group of muggles, who had taken a different route, taking pictures. A family was eating sandwiches and when Serena checked her watch it was one o' clock. She thought that Severus must be starving, but she was determined to push on. "We'll eat at the next summit, shall we?" she asked, already continuing on, and not waiting for an answer.

It was one hour later when she saw him really begin to struggle. He was walking behind her now, his breath laboured, and his forehead dripping with sweat, his black hair sticking to his neck as it did when he brewed potions. Occasionally, when she would look back, his jaw would be clenched and his hands closed into fists, or he would almost be muttering to himself. She amused herself by discretely move stones into his path or by making ledges slightly higher for him, smirking when she saw his frustrated glare at how easily she had stepped up compared to him. The anger that was building in him only encouraged her to go faster. She could sense his frustration at not being able to catch up with her, and she knew that his leg was hurting him too, because he struggled over large stones and his hobble became more pronounced.

"Are you ok?" she asked at one point, her voice as light and as innocent as possible.

"Yes," he almost growled, glaring at her.

She shrugged and continued. Twenty minutes later she asked him again, and he almost shouted his taught reply.

She pushed him harder, they weren't far from the second summit now, clouds rising up on either side of them, and moisture sticking to their clothes.

When the top was in sight she took a deep, courageous breath and said the words that she knew would get her in big trouble, "Severus, do you want us to stop? You really don't look alright-"

"Merlin Serena!" he snapped at her, glaring furiously, "I'm fine, okay! I'm fucking fine! That's the third time you've fucking asked me that! Who fucking cares! You realise you are the only fucking person who ever asks me that! Who. Gives. A. Damn." He emphasised each word with each gasping breath, his damp hair stuck to his face and his eyes slightly wild looking.

"So why are you mad at me if I'm the only one that asks?" she cried back, looking indignant.

"Because it's fucking infuriating! Why can't you be like all the rest of them! Merlin! I said I'm fine!"

"You would say you're fine when half your calf bone is sticking out of your leg and your knee's in tatters!" she snapped angrily at him; "You look like you're really struggling-"

"I will make it to the top of this fucking mountain," he growled dangerously, stepping unsteadily closer to her. "That's all you care about, all anyone cares about, is the end fucking result. You know, Albus always wants his debrief and his precious information, but he never actually wants to know what happened to me, or what I had to do to others! Just like the Order, oh so happy to close their eyes and accept the information merrily, as though I just strolled up to the Dark Lord and asked him-"

"Someone's feeling a tad sorry for themselves, I see," she retorted haughtily, "Aren't you the one that always says that you have a job to do so you get on with it. Where's all this self-pity come from-"

"And what fucking job is this! What is the point in trying to win this war if along the way innocent people get hurt! How many people must I rape and kill for the end result to be worth it!"

"As many as HE tells you to! And you'll get your head down and fucking do it-"

"And what if I've changed my mind!" he roared now, his eyes flashing wildly, "What if I don't want to do this anymore! I feel like a fucking puppet, two Masters fighting over me and giving me their garbage jobs to do, convinced I take pleasure in it! Well I fucking don't. I've sacrificed my entire life making up for the sins of my late teens. And now I've finally found something that I want to live for, something that makes me feel human, something that I can't ever give up, and yet I have to keep fucking sacrificing, keep hurting innocent people, keep killing teenage girls, except that now everyone's telling me I'm doing it for all the right reasons! Yeah, well tell that to my tattered soul."

"Your soul was already scarred-" she forced herself to say.

"That doesn't mean it was beyond repair," he snapped in a raised voice. "That doesn't mean I shouldn't get to choose. But I never get to choose, do I? And I never fucking will! This is my life, stuck in between two wizards, in the shadows of a war, having to sacrifice the one thing that makes my life worth living! The one thing I actually care about! The one thing I have let myself want, my only chance at having a happiness I don't even deserve! We built this relationship up and all I'm doing is destroying it! All I'm doing is pushing you away! And it's not what I want! All I want is to grab you and apparate us far, far away and be selfish and arrogant and cowardly, to just give us some chance at living a happy, painless life! That's all I fucking want! Do you hear me!" he was shouting now, and the words echoed eerily in the clouds around them! "Can you fucking hear me!" he roared, staring up into the sky like a man demented. "Can you! Can you!" He let out a huge, roar of frustration, his fists clenched, his whole body taught and tense, the magic crackling in the air around him, until Serena bridged the gap and pulled him into a strong, tight hug.

She almost staggered as his leg buckled from underneath him and his weight fell upon her. He clutched at her tightly, his chin resting on the top of her head as he held her to him just as tightly, his breath shaky and uneven, as he let the anger drain from him and seep into the air around them. She rubbed his back soothingly and hushed him until he had calmed down.

They stood like that for almost five minutes, until he spoke with his usual, gruff voice. "This was your plan all along, wasn't it?"

She couldn't help but smile into his sweat-soaked jumper.

"I'm impressed you lasted this long actually. I'd have cracked at least an hour ago."

He snorted and slowly pulled out of her grasp. "You have a strange habit of knowing what I need."

She shook her head, "not at all, actually. You were the one that dragged me up a mountain when I was stressed a year ago. And I know that sometimes, you just need to get angry. You keep everything bottled inside and direct all of your hatred towards yourself, when actually… it's the world you should be angry at.

"You know… I wish we could just run away too… but you know as well as I that we could never leave everyone in the midst of war… So for now, we'll have to be satisfied with what we have, and work hard to keep communicating and overcoming all the obstacles and shit that gets thrown at us."

"I'll drink to that," he murmured, giving a strange, half-grimace, half smile.

"I bet you'd rather eat first," she smirked. "You're running on fumes. Come on, there's a flat bit of rock over there."

Severus watched her as she began pulling out a huge picnic basket and two foldable chairs from the rucksack. Elizabeth had been delighted to make them both a picnic and had rather gone over the top.

As Severus unfolded the chairs and cast warming charms, Serena focussed on the air around them and tuned in to the elements. Very slowly, the thick cloud began to part and before their very eyes the view of the valley way below them began to get clearer and clearer. She could have sworn she heard Severus mutter 'show off' and was delighted that he had found some part of his humour.

When they both sat down to admire the view, Severus poured them both a glass of orange juice.

"To meddling wives," he toasted quietly.

"To brave husbands," she smiled, clinking their cups together.

They drank and ate in silence, admiring the view and becoming engrossed in their own thoughts.

When they had both filled their stomachs, Serena repacked the picnic basket with a wave of her wand.

"What would you like to do? Shall we head home?"

Severus snorted. "You said three peaks, we've only done two."

"I did," she said simply.

"Well come on then, woman," he snapped in good humour, standing up, "we still have a mountain to climb."

He put away their chairs, took the rucksack from her and began up the path without a backwards glance.

She supressed a smile as she followed him and they continued their hike to the third and final summit.