Chapter 61: Back to the Grind

Summary:

Izuku has a lot of awkward conversations, and some less awkward ones.

Trigger warnings

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Izuku dismissed his class as they finished planning for the culture festival, however he called out to two of his classmates as they left and asked them to remain behind. "Uraraka, Tsuyu, can we talk?"

Momo noticed the strange look on Izuku's face but dismissed it. She'd just have to talk to him later, Momo WAS going to confront him about how strange he's been acting lately and she WAS going to finally get her own answers.

Both looked questioningly at the boy but nodded and followed along anyway. Izuku led the pair out the doors and towards the woods which drew a question from Tsuyu. "Midoriya? Where are we going?"

The boy was so deep in thought that he didn't even hear her ask the question.

"Deku?" Uraraka tilted her head and then looked at Tsuyu worriedly.

It was another 5 minutes before the greenette stopped walking and turned to the pair, they were located deep in the woods at this point, far from any prying ears. Deku kept opening his mouth before shutting it and it had finally annoyed Tsuyu to the point of her slapping him lightly with her tongue. "Kero, snap out of it Midoriya."

"Yeah Deku, take your time, gather your thoughts, then speak. We can wait." The girl assured him.

Midoriya took a deep breath before speaking. "I, - thanks guys. I just, I have something I need to tell you, guilt that's eating up at me. I don't think you'd even want to be friends with me anymore if I told you but I can't just pretend like it didn't happen." Izuku was sweating nervously despite his usual muttering not kicking in, he'd been trying hard to prevent himself from doing so.

"...Deku I'm sure it wasn't a big deal, you can ju-"

Izuku cut her off. "It wasn't just a big deal, it was a major one. You two DIED!" The quirk giver screamed.

"And we're fine now kero, besides that wasn't your fault and we don't even remember anything between getting hit and us waking back up in the hospital." The frog girl explained.

Well that was something, at least they weren't conscious as part of the flesh mob.

The girl continued. " If anything we should be than-

"Stop!" The guilt he'd feel if she finished that sentence. "No, don't thank me, never thank me. You shouldn't have needed to be saved in the first place. I let overhaul do that, I'd already beaten him and then like an idiot I got distracted and let him fix himself. Theneverythinggotofhandandpeoplestarteddyingandaizawawasthereandtheananieldiedtosavemeandthenioverusedtheportalquirksoicouldntgetyoutwoawayfromhimquicklyenoughandifmomowasntthereandididnthavere-

Tsuyu slapped him lightly with her tongue again. "Midoriya. Breathe."

Uraraka pulled the boy into a hug. "Deku, you can't see the future, you can't ever know how it'll turn out. You made a mistake, we all do, but were here and it's fine." She lifted her head. "So stop beating yourself up over it before I start blasting you until you get it."

Izuku could barely stand to look at her, he still hadn't told them why he'd been distracted instead of just taking the quirk and being done with it. He wanted the man to feel pain, he wanted Overhaul to hurt, he wasn't there to be a hero, he was there for revenge, plain and simple. The bastard had hurt something important to him and Izuku wanted him to suffer for it.

This was the second time his emotions had gotten control of him during a fight, Izuku still woke up some nights after a vivid nightmare of his beatdown of stain. The quirk Stealer was certain in the future he'd have some dreams of watching Ryukyu, Tsuyu, and Uraraka dying as well. Not to mention Ananiel and his army sacrificing themselves for him, Izuku could always remake them of course but it'd never feel the same.

He started to open his mouth but Uraraka stopped him. "If you really think it's that bad, then don't tell us." The ex zero gravity user turned to the other girl. "You don't need to know, right Tsu?"

"Kero." Tsuyu just nodded her head.

"Guys are you sure? I did something bad, like really bad." Izuku looked down at his feet shuffling weakly.

"Tell Momo then Midoriya, she wants you to talk to her more anyway. She's been worried about you lately, we all have really. You haven't had an easy month kero. You've been attacked twice, kidnapped, almost murdered countless times, lost just as many limbs, in addition to whatever else has been going on kero. You need some time to rest, frankly ... we all do."

Izuku's gaze was still on the floor. "But what if she ends up hating m-" The boy felt a sharp pain coming from his cheek and looked up.

Uraraka slapped the boy in front of him. "Now that! That makes me angry Deku! Momo would never hate you! Do you know how much you've been hurting her lately!? I've caught her crying multiple times in the past week alone, if you want her to hate you then just keep up what you've been doing." Uraraka hissed.

Izuku just rubbed his cheek, he'd deserved that at the very least. "A-alright, I'll talk to her. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing Midoriya. If you want to make us feel better just stop being an idiot."

That got a little chuckle the boy. "Blunt as always Tsuyu."

"I told you to call me Tsu." The frog user retorted.

"R-right my bad ... Tsu."

"As long as you understand. Are we done here Midoriya?" The second greenette asked.

"Yeah ... I guess we are." Izuku let the other two girls walk off while he remained back, his inner thoughts in turmoil. He had to tell Momo didn't he? But what would she say? Sure she's always believed in him but he got a lot of people hurt as a result of his actions this time, it was different. Izuku whined out loud as he laid against a tree, he'd planned on staying here for awhile but of course life was never that easy. Izuku checked his phone as it went off.

Chat Opened.

All Might: Midoriya my boy, if it is alright with you, may we speak? There's something that's been on my mind lately.

Izuku read the message multiple times, what could All Might possibly want to talk about? Had something come up? Did they finally find the league?

Cinnamon Bun: Of course All Might, where would you like to meet?

All Might: How about I pick you up in front of the U.A. dorms, then we go have a stroll throughout quieter places on campus?

Cinnamon Bun: That's fine with me, I'll see you in five?

All Might: That sounds wonderful Young Midoriya, I shall see you soon.

Izuku huffed as he closed his phone, just another problem he needed to deal with, he loved All Might of course but now really wasn't the time for small talk. He's just too busy at the moment, not to mention that cryptic ass thing Bakugo said earlier. Izuku sighed once more as he got up and began walking towards the dorms. Hopefully it wouldn't take too long, All Might probably just wanted to check up on him or something. His trudge back to the front of the 1 - A dorms was a silent affair, nothing but birds chirping and the wind howling. Winter was fast approaching and it made the boy shiver slightly, huh wasn't Momo's birthday coming along soon? What do you even get the girl who can make anything she could ever want? His past gifts had just been hero memorabilia but he really wanted to make an impact this time. Something that'd make up for everything, but what could he possibly give her?

Seeing All Might sitting at a bench made him temporarily forget his troubles. "Hey Toshinori, how've you been?"

"I have been well my boy but how is your hand? Have you had any issues with it?" The skeleton replied.

"I'll be honest, It's a tough process trying to perfect learning human anatomy but I'm making slow progress nonetheless. The current version feels pretty normal, though I do need to ask Mirio to give me my old quirk back, honestlysittingatmycurrentlimitisstartingtogetannoyingbecauseIdon'twanttoloseanynordoIwanttoputheminthebankIthinkitstimeIgotalkto1-bornedzuaboutgivingtheteachersmorequirksan-"

Toshinori deadpanned at the familiar sight. "Here I thought we'd beaten that habit out of you my boy." Toshinori chuckled briefly. "That's fine though it's a trait that makes you, you Young Midoriya. I wouldn't have it any other way." The man smiled brightly before standing and lightly tapping his student. "Now, follow me Izuku, we have some things to discuss."

The use of his given name surprised Izuku, the man barely ever used it, so he just nodded along and followed the man. They walked a bit before All Might sat at a bench gesturing for the boy to sit next to him, which he did. "Now then, you're probably wondering why I've called you out here my boy. I promise you, you're not in any trouble if that's what you were thinking. I merely wanted to chat about some things."

Izuku nodded. "That's fine, what did you want to talk about All Might?"

All Might spluttered a bit, not really ready to broach the subject at the moment. " You see this is not the easiest thing to ask my boy but ... I suppose I shall just go ahead and say it. Midoriya my boy, are you happy?"

Well that was a question out of left field or at the very least it felt like it was to the quirk stealer. "I mean happy is a subjective term but if you mean like right now, am I happy, then I'd have to say yes. I mean I won't lie and say everything is perfect because it's not but overall I'd say I'm happy. Why though?"

That question also made All Might splutter. How could someone potentially ask a question like the one he needs too to someone they consider like a son to them. " ... Young Midoriya ... have you ... always been happy?"

Izuku froze, what ... what was All Might asking? Did he find out about 'that'? He's barely even hinted at it towards Momo, though he was on his way to tell her now but how the hell did All Might find out? His breathing had become so erratic he didn't even realize All Might was holding his shoulder and trying to talk to him.

"Young Midoriya! Young Midoriya! Are you okay!?" Toshinori had his arm on the boy the second his breathing started to accelerate. "Listen to my voice my boy, calm down you're safe, okay?" That dark voice began worming its way into his brain again, all it took was one question and the boy broke down. 'You were a fool Toshinori, he'd been hurting and you did nothing.'

Izuku felt the arm on his shoulder and turned to his mentor with a faraway look in his eyes. "I-I didn't, I-it wasn't." Izuku was looking for an escape as his eyes shifted around the man in front of him. He needed to flee, he couldn't possibly tell All Might of all people. Izuku was about to run when the man buffed up and gripped his shoulder harder preventing him from leaving.

"Young Midoriya, it will be alright. Why? Because I am here!" Part of Toshinori felt like it was a waste to use what little time he had left for this but another part of him felt this was exactly the time to use it. A final third part of him made sure to aim the projectile blood he coughed out away from his mentee, that was the last thing he needed at the moment.

Izuku briefly halted both because he hadn't seen All Might in that form in forever and because of the shock factor. That brief hesitation was all Toshinori needed to seize the initiative. "Now then my boy, perhaps we should take a step back, I'm only here to help, I've only ever been here to help. Now if you don't want to talk then you do not need too. However! I am here if you need me."

That made Izuku slightly relax, of course there was no way he'd seen it, Izuku had destroyed the book years ago when he finally started to enjoy waking up for the day. "U-um A-all Might, if I told you that I'm okay now would you believe m-me?"

Now meant he hadn't been in the past Toshinori realized. The ex number 1 could only think about what that possibly meant but forcing the boy to talk about his past worries would only drive him away. "Young Midoriya, if you are okay now then that's all that matters. But you will tell me when it stops being okay, yes?"

Izuku just gave a weak nod, he couldn't trust himself to speak all that well at the moment.

All Might deflated before speaking once more. "Good my boy, now why don't we rest for a bit, I find a bit of quiet relaxation to be a most calming thing."

Izuku decided that the man was probably right and simply turned his mind off to listen to the bristling of the trees as the chilly wind blew through the area. They spent an incalculable amount of time like this before Izuku finally felt some courage to speak. "... All Might?"

"Yes Izuku?" Toshinori kept his gaze on the birds he'd been watching, he felt the boy didn't really want eye contact at the moment.

"I was actually just about to tell Momo, well ... everything. But I think you deserve to know as well... I just don't know how to t-talk about it, you k-know?" Izuku really did want to tell the man, he really did trust him but how could he possibly tell him the truth and expect things to stay the same.

"I know that feeling well my boy, I still have trouble talking about what happened to Nana after all, but do you want to hear a secret?"

Izuku nodded weakly again.

"It isn't weakness to admit when your in pain, you're stronger than anyone I know my boy, always have been. Regardless of whether or not you tell me anything, I'll always be on your side. If you want to talk feel free to do so as if no one else is hereand if you do not wish to speak at all then simply get up and leave my boy. You said you were about to speak with Young Yaoyorozu, so I don't mind as long as you talk to someone about it." Toshinori turned before smiling at the boy.

Izuku started tearing up a bit, how could All Might be this awesome. This was the man who'd saved him truly, Izuku had no doubt that without this man in his life he probably would've ended up like All For One. "Hey ... All Might?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it okay if I call you D-dad? I've never really had one and if there was anyone I thought of as one, it'd be you." Izuku was doing his best to try and hide how emotionally impacting this conversation was to him.

All Might coughed out some blood at the sheer shock of the proclamation but realized that this boy was probably the closest thing he'd ever had to a son. Toshinori pulled the boy in for a hug before speaking. "Of course my boy."

Izuku stopped his pretense of holding back tears at that point and wept into the man's embrace, it reminded Izuku of the first time they met at Dagobah beach. How did All Might describe Nana? As the sun? That felt like an apt description for Toshinori. "Your like the s-sun too you k-know."

Now that made the man tear up a bit as well. "I'm glad you think so."

They stayed like that for several minutes before finally Izuku ended the hug. "I - I think I'm ready to tell you everything D-dad."

Toshinori felt his heart clench a little bit at the title bestowed upon him.

"I - it all started when I was four, the doctor misdiagnosed me. Funny that the world's foremost quirk expert doesn't even realize that the world's strongest quirk is right at his fingertips, he just didn't know it." Izuku chuckled a bit. "Then I had to tell everyone that I was quirkless and that's ... when everything changed." Izuku took a deep breath before continuing. "Bakugo ... changed, he created the nickname Deku and started using it to refer to me. It wasn't long before everyone followed suit and soon that was my name I was no longer Izuku. It didn't get really bad until I was around seven, that's ... when the nightmares started. It was either the doctor's face telling me to give up my dreams, or my mom apologizing when I asked if I could still be a hero, or Bakugo attacking me ... verbally or physically. I just kinda started hating e-everyone, I had no one on my side and I was alone in a world determined to c-crush me."

Izuku took a small breath before continuing. "It g-got bad, everywhere I turned someone was out to get me. So I started retreating inward, using my quirk notebooks to delude myself into believing I could be useful. It wasn't until Bakugo started telling me to k-kill my u-useless self that I even considered the idea. To be honest, I never thought about going through with it, not because I was strong but because I was too weak to be willing to hurt myself like that. I always pushed the idea to the back of my mind but everyday I got more and more numb to the idea. Depression isn't being sad like most people think, it's just becoming so numb that everything loses its joy. Numb to the pain, numb to the things that made you happy, just ... numb. I wanted to be useful to just one person, to anyone really..."

Toshinori was staring at Izuku in shock, he'd known it was bad but never this bad. The other part of Toshinori was raging, he wanted to walk over to Young Bakugo and backhand him for hurting his ... son? The word felt right he decided.

"That was how my life continued until I was ten and I met you." Izuku smiled through the tears. "So like I said I'm good now, it got better. Although I suppose that's only because I got a quirk ... huh."

All Might gripped the boy in a hug. "Young Midoriya, whether you have a quirk or not doesn't matter. Don't ever think that you deserve to live only because you have one."

Izuku chuckled quietly through his tears. "Funny you're the second person to say that, though I doubt Aizawa-sensei knew what it truly meant to me."

It seemed that All Might owed Eraserhead another favor. "Sssh my boy, it'll be alright." Toshinori let the boy cry it out of his system, this had no doubt been a long time coming.

"I-I think I'm good now Dad." Izuku let out weakly.

Toshinori reluctantly released the boy from his grip. "Good, you deserve to be happy my boy."

"I know, I did say it got better didn't I?" Izuku let out a small smile.

"And I'm glad it did, now you did say you were going to tell Young Yaoyorozu. Do you want me to be there for that?"

"No ... I think this is a 1 on 1 thing. I appreciate your offer though All Might."

"Then get to it my boy, you got this." Toshinori gave the boy a thumbs up.

Izuku nodded before standing and putting a determined look on his face.


Momo was sitting at her desk trying to practice the notes on how to use the keyboard that Kyoka had given her. It was fairly similar to using a piano so her musical talents weren't being wasted which was nice. A knock at the door distracted her from her current task. She rose quietly before walking to the door and opening it, to say she was surprised to see the puffy tear streaked face of her boyfriend was an understatement. "Izuku w-what's wrong?"

Izuku smiled brightly on a face that shouldn't be as happy as it was. "I got a Dad."

That caused Momo to snort. "What?"

"That's not the important part, I came because I got a lot of stuff I need to talk to you about. Things I probably should've told you a long time ago."

"I uh okay, I guess I can make some tea but I feel like you getting a Dad is pretty major Izu." Momo turned before having her arm grabbed, she was suddenly spun back into her boyfriend who kissed her. "-Wha, what's gotten into you?"

"I finally got some old weight off my chest and I feel great, way more than I have in awhile. Momo do you remember right before our final match in the sport's festival?"

"How could I forget that?" She questioningly tilted her head.

"Well I think it's time I explained it..." Izuku drifted off.

The sudden serious tone in his voice made her realize this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation but he was finally opening up to her, she couldn't let this opportunity go. The girl grabbed her boyfriend by the arm before leading him to the bed where they both sat down. "Take all the time you need, I'm right here."

The bright smile faded from his face, telling All Might was one thing but telling Momo was different. She should know EVERYTHING not just the relevant bits. Izuku gingerly raised his shirt. "Momo at the time you couldn't see it because I had a f-fresh explosion on me but, you need to see this."

Momo saw the hand shaped scar seared into her boyfriends flesh and realized it could've only come from one person. She stood up intending on beating the ever living daylights of the person in question but Izuku had grabbed her arm stopping her from leaving. "Can I explain everything first?"

"Fine." She hissed, no one, no one does this to her Izuku and gets away with it.

"I kind of gave All Might an abridged version earlier but I want you to know everything Momo. I - we've been together for so long that it just feels right." Izuku took a deep breath before continuing.

And so they talked for what felt like hours, Izuku told her of every deep settled mental insecurity, to the pain of living to how broken he'd been until she entered his life. How after only a week after Izuku met her he destroyed the notebook that he wrote his pain in. How she made his life so much better than it had been before.

"... so yeah, that." Izuku weakly ended his story.

The girl just hugged him. "... thanks for telling me Izuku. I know that couldn't have been easy to talk about. But I'm still going to strangle Bakugo later, you can fix him as long as he isn't in too many pieces right?"

Izuku fully believed the girl based on her tone, she'd smile while she did it too. "Thanks Mo, and probably?"

"Good, but before that let's just relax today okay? Ectoplasm's math homework can wait for a bit."

"I'd like that." Izuku smiled as he laid down next to the girl on her bed and that's how the day ended.

Notes:

Current Quirk List
Izuku Midoriya: Kuroe, Float, Breath of Life, Tempo, Ultra Sight, Muscle Augmentation (Renamed to Muscular), Warp Gate, Galeforce, Rewind, Quirk Enhancer, Molecular Manipulation, Confession, Overhaul
Bakugo Katsuki: Explosion, Pyrokinesis
Tenya Iida: Engine, Air Step
Jirou Kyoka: Earphone Jack, Mute
Koji Koda: Animal Speak, Voice Throwing.
Mina Ashido: Acid, Liquid Manipulation
Sero Hanta: Tape, Minor Fire Resistance, Fire Breath
Yuga Aoyama: Navel Laser, Photokinesis
Kirishima Ejiro: Hardening, Shunpo
Yaoyorozu Momo: One for All, Creation, Blackwhip
Shinsou Hitoshi: Thunderclap, Brainwashing
Denki Kaminari: Electrification, Lightning Rod
All For One: Unknown
Kurogiri: EMP
Eri: Zero Gravity
Nedzu: High Specs, Silence
Uraraka: Air Cannon
Eraserhead: Erasure, Super Strength
Sato: Sugar Rush, Vitality Stealing
Mirio: Permeation, Minor Regeneration
Quirk Bank: -None-

Notes: