My Heart Keeps Beating, Beating Like a Little Drum

2170 CE One Week Post Mindoir Raid
Jane Shepard
Datmar Facility, Kar'Shan

Everything was cold. Thick leather straps bound her to the table, a paper thin gown was all that covered her shivering body. The smell of antiseptic and wrongness emanated from every corner of the sterile, white room. The monsters approached, barking at one another, holding up their terrifyingly large needles.

A sharp jab. The liquid burned through her veins. She cried out, cried for her mother. But Jane knew no one would come. Her family was dead. And she was alone far, far away from everything she had ever known. They lifted a knife. Were they killing her too? She screamed and thrashed to no avail yet before the blade made contact, a feeling of warmth spread from her buttocks up her back. Then the smell. Pee. They glowered, clearly angry. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't..."

It didn't matter.

They cut each arm, and pulled them from her sides. As the blood drained into glass tubes, she began trembling fiercely, now wet. The urine had lost its heat. A wet gown clung to her sides as an icy reminder.

All she wanted was go home, where it was snug, safe. To her mother, and her softness. Her brother and his stupid jokes that never made any sense, especially to a dumb little kid. She even missed her dad, his stern frown whenever she did bad things. She closed her eyes, summoning bright summer days, summoning home – shelter from this cold, stark room of monsters.

"Oh yea? Watch this!" The earth beneath her feet was nothing but a blur. She gripped the rope with renewed purpose. It oscillated with abandon over the waterfall before returning to solid ground. There was no turning back now. When it swept over the deep pool once more, she let go and hurtled into the depths.

Jimmy was still at the top, looking every bit like a scared little boy and not the supposedly brave teenager he claimed to be.

"Chicken." She teased.

"Just because I'm not crazy…." He started.

"Chicken. Gonna get shown up by a little girl?"

That did it. He ran towards the waterfall's edge and dove in. While giggling like a loon, Jane splashed his face the moment he re-emerged. He reciprocated in kind until Wilkie decided they were at risk for drowning and dragged them both to shore.

They panted in tandem on the rocky bank.

"Wanna go again?" Jimmy grinned.

"Hell yes!"

"Don't let ma hear you talk like that."

"Hell ain't a bad word."

"Or that." He snorted."You've been hangin' out with the Peterson twins again haven't you?"

"No!" Jane exclaimed, knowing her brother caught her thinly veiled deceit. The Peterson boys were loads of fun. Just last week they had a grand adventure past the corn fields, deep into the forest, where they discovered an abandoned barn. Technically, they weren't supposed to leave their farm's perimeter. But there were places to explore! Things to see! The Peterson twins knew all the best, sneaky paths. And there were loads of dead things to poke with a stick inside the barn, the possum was of particular interest. It had a long, ratty tail and bunny teeth.

"Hope you lie better than that when pa asks you." Jimmy scaled the rocks beside the waterfall with a newfound ambition. And Jane raced after, shrieking and giggling as she clawed her way up.

But the monsters killed them all, made them choke and bleed and die. Why was she here? Why were they doing this? What did they want? They asked no questions just poked and cut and bled.

They were evil. That much she understood. And she needed to break free, disappear. She had to wait and sneak, figure something out. Your plan failed back on that ship. You failed and got Vinny ….. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over. She was just trying to escape, help her friends escape. What was she supposed to do? Wait in that cage after the monsters killed all their families? Had it been days or weeks? The last thing she saw when they loaded her onto that ship was Mindoir burning.

Her breathing became uneven, gasping. The tiny chest of a child, rapidly rising and falling. She panted. She swallowed. She had something special. Right? The blue. Only now, the monsters knew her secret.

Hours passed, strapped to that frigid table. Eventually they hosed her down, bandaged her arms, and carried her from the white, desolate room. As the smell of antiseptic retreated, new scents replaced it. Smells of strange food, urine, and stale air. They brought her down a long, narrow corridor lined with compact rooms. Rooms with bars for doors. Prison cells. Her destination opened with the creak of rusty hinges and she was unceremoniously tossed inside.

At first she thought she was alone. Yet, when her eyes adjusted to the darkness, a small figure huddled in the corner materialized. Whatever it was, wasn't much bigger than her. A child perhaps. Jane wobbled to her feet. "Hello?"

The tiny body turned around and she jumped back. A monster. A small one, but still a monster. Four jet-black eyes stared at her. Jane's gaze darted to its arms, they too were bandaged right below the shoulders, red blotches stained poorly taped gauze. The figure was trembling, its face wet. Do monsters cry too?

There were bunk beds to the side, a toilet and sink directly across. Yet, very few blankets. Certainly not enough to keep her warm throughout the night. She was so cold, so tired. Even her bones felt exhausted. Maybe that's why she did it, after what she endured, the heavens knew she wasn't overtly friendly to these things. Despite her misgivings, Jane snatched the covers and inched over to the child-monster. When she was convinced it wasn't plotting an ambush, she perched tentatively next to it, watching and waiting.

They sat staring at one another for awhile. Eventually, the four-eyed one brought a hand to her chest and pointed.

"Balya."

She didn't answer at first, choosing to remain silent. The little thing seemed to grow impatient. Five fingers wrapped gently around her wrist and brought the palm of her hand to its chest. "Balya." She could feel the thump of a heart beat, its breath in and out, so much like her own.

"Jane." She finally responded.

Balya's lips curled upwards. The expression was similar enough, a smile. Only this one didn't chill her to the bone like when the monster on that ship grinned at her. There was something softer about Balya. Something familiar. Without another word, they huddled together, enduring the cold was easier with a warm body next to you.

Days, maybe weeks, passed in similar fashion. Small terms. Big fear. Jane learned Balya's words for objects in their room. The larger monsters came and went. Thankfully, neither one was taken from their cell and dragged back to the white room. If Balya's injuries were any indication, she had endured the exact same experience while there.

After witnessing Balya peeing sitting down, Jane assumed she too was a girl. Oddly enough, everything that happened to herself happened to Balya as well. The injections. The pills. And neither one went to the monsters willingly. Whenever their cell door creaked open, they sought each other out, clinging to one another. Eventually, she stopped seeing Balya as a monster. She became a companion, the only light in the gloom.

Then the day came when the monsters arrived in a pack. They moved for Balya, little hands reached for hers and she took them. Hugged her friend tight. And wailed as they dragged her off. Days passed while she sat alone in her cell. Missing the absence of her warmth, hands the same size as hers pointing and teaching all the new words, slowly bridging the gap between them. At night, they'd sleep side by side, keeping the cool air at bay.

It felt like ages had passed before they finally brought her back, a languid, sleepy puddle. Her mannerisms reminded Jane of a soggy shoe. Four eyelids drooped as they blinked lazily from the bed. Hours passed without change. She banged on the walls and screamed until one of the monsters came, his voice gruff. Jane pointed to Balya, something was wrong with her. She hadn't moved. Hadn't eaten. And her skin was freezing. The man said something she didn't understand and turned to leave. Yet, she had learned a few words, not many but a few.

"Iinaha barida! La taeam." (She's Cold! No food.)

The thing? Man? Looked at her for a moment. At first she didn't dare hope, but it was almost as if he understood. Shortly after, he returned with a cup of thick, warm liquid and a heavy blanket. She dragged both over to the bed where Balya lie, threw it on top of her and helped the little girl drink from the mug.

Gradually her friend came back to her. Inch by inch, Jane nursed her back to health. Whatever the monsters had done must have been terrible. She tried not to think about the fact that they'd probably come for her too. After all, what happened to one always seemed to happen to the other. She didn't understand why, Balya was one of them. But it was abundantly clear, they were in this together.