*Violet's POV*
I had never been shopping before, but now I started to understand why so many people liked it. There were so many options. I had never really thought much about what I'd worn before, but now I couldn't stop.
I wasn't exactly sure what was fashionable, but I did my best, looking at how the clothes were arranged on the manikins and other models in the store. I tried to put myself in the mindset of Lucy, whose appearance I had always envied, though I knew our figures were vastly different. After a few hours I felt that I'd done a good job picking out everything.
I walked back towards the apartment with several bags draped over my shoulders. It had been a long time since I'd been allowed to be alone, and I was enjoying it. When carrying the bags of clothes back to the apartment I could seem like a normal person. Not an assassin. Not even a wizard. Just...Violet.
But the fantasy was easily broken every time I walked close enough to a stranger to get a dose of their emotions. I had to keep my head. Playing pretend was fine, but my own life was still moving along around me. I would have to return to the guild hall soon or risk getting in even more trouble, as August hadn't exactly asked for permission before letting me go off on my own. I knew it would be in poor taste to be gone for longer than I had to.
I arrived at the apartment and let myself in, dumping my bag onto the floor of my bedroom. I reached in and pulled out a new outfit, a short sundress with an open back. I had already seen in the mirror in the changing room that my scars were clearly visible, but I had been telling myself the whole way home that I didn't care.
I pulled on some new gladiator sandals that I had seen on sale. They made me feel like a warrior despite the impracticality of the dress. I was going to be doing a different kind of fighting now, and I needed to be confident in myself to do it.
I wanted to find my place at Fairy Tail. I knew that much. But I also knew that it would be easier said than done. Especially with my magic getting in the way of things.
But I had to try.
I took one last look in the mirror before turning back to the door and making my way to the guild hall. As soon as I stopped outside the apartment I noticed the way the warm Magnolia breeze hit my shoulders. It wasn't often that I'd worn something that left them uncovered, but I found that I enjoyed it.
As I walked I noticed other beautiful women and men, and rather than feeling like an outsider I felt as though I was part of Magnolia's natural abundance, contributing to one of the things that had drawn me into the city in the first place. As I neared the guild hall I was determined to keep my confidence, but the closer I got, the more I could feel Fairy Tail's natural aura encroaching on my mood.
Open, loud, blatantly inviting. It was intimidating even now, perhaps even more so. But I knew what was waiting for me inside. August. If anyone could help me understand the fairies, it was him. We could do it together. I was sure of it.
I placed my hand on the door, took a deep breath, and walked inside. The reaction wasn't immediate. Many people hadn't seen me enter. Many more looked up only to look away. It wasn't until I passed by Erza's table that something changed. I felt her shift to get my attention, and forced myself to look up. I sensed that if I didn't move to talk to her, she would take the initiative.
I took one last glance around the room. August was once again sitting in the middle of a large group of fairies, talking and laughing. He had yet to see me, and it would be problematic to get his attention. I took a deep breath and veered off course, moving to join Erza.
"I see you've done some shopping." she said lightly as I approached her table.
I nodded, hovering a few feet away from her, unsure if it was supposed to get closer or leave it there. Erza herself had no preference, and thus gave me no clue on what she wanted me to do.
"Can I-Can I sit with you?"
The question seemed to catch Erza off guard, but she nodded. I slowly eased into the chair across from her, not sure of what to say. She sipped her tea quietly, and I knew that being in her presence didn't necessarily require conversation.
I glanced back to the middle of the guild hall, where August was in the middle of what I assumed was a thrilling story, surrounded by encouraging Fairies, the center of attention even now that our cover was blown.
He made a brief eye contact with me across the hall, the first time he had seen me since entering. In him formed a question, and concern for my well being. He wanted to know if I needed him.
I shook my head and gave a thumbs up. He nodded and returned to his conversation. I took a deep breath and sank further into my seat. I didn't need August to do my talking for me. I could manage just fine on my own. I had to.
I turned back to face Ezra, hoping that she would take it as an invitation to start a conversation, but when I turned I saw that she had been watching August as well.
She seemed quietly interested in him. For a moment I wondered if she would rather be a part of his other onlookers, rather than stuck with me in the corner.
"Looks like he figured out how to jump back into things while we were gone." she said.
And I knew that she had ment it as a good thing. It was a good thing. I was happy for him. So then why did I feel my heart twist every time I looked in his direction?
"I don't think I'll ever be like that."
Erza's attention snapped back to me, her body filling with an intensity that didn't match her tone. "What do you mean?"
I sighed. I had wanted to talk to her. I had brought this upon myself. "I'm just not the type that can be in the middle of all that." I shrugged. "It's so...loud." in every sense of the word. "Maybe I'm just not the making friends type."
I had meant to sound casual, matter of fact, but in voicing the sentiment I realized I was afraid of it, and Erza was catching on fast.
"Just because you're not taking things as fast as August don't mean you're not making friends."
I wanted to indicate that I was listening, but I was too busy fighting with my face.
"Not everyone likes being the center of attention." Erza continued, "just because you're not over there in a large group doesn't mean you don't have any friends."
I glanced over at August. And again...a turning in my heart. I understood that in theory Erza was right. I knew that was how she was, a founder of steady friendships, mostly one on one. And I knew that I could have that.
But I also wanted what August had. I wanted to be able to sit in front of everyone without feeling like my heart was caving in on itself. I wanted to stay at Fairy Tail and talk and laugh and cry, but every moment I spent with them I also wanted to run and hide and never come back.
I would never be happy.
Across the hall, I saw August stop talking mid sentence, and feel a sudden anxiety welling up in him. I followed his line of sight, and saw that the master had emerged from his office.
I watched August excuse himself and walk towards the master, they talked for a few moments before both turned to look in my direction. I turned to see that Erza's eyes were also on them.
"I-"
"Go." she said, "We can talk later."
I nodded, slowly rising from my seat and walking to where the others were waiting.
"Is smoothing wrong?" I asked, my silver tongue told me the answer, even as August opened his mouth for a reassuring lie.
"Everything's-"
"I need to talk to you both in my office." the master interrupted.
Were we in trouble? Was it because I had gone off alone that morning?
I looked at August, silently asking him to explain. "We have to make a game plan." August said, "Then we're going to talk to Takashi."
