Summer 2018

Slamming the door of her house open, Serbia enters. She is arguing over the phone with someone. "Oh course, that's the point! Why else would I call?!" she yells at the person on the other end.

"Yeah sure" Albania's voice is heard from the speaker. "It's the time of the year when football is on everyone's mind and you call me to complain about politics" she adds sarcastically.

"Well your politics has caused me a lot of grief over the centuries" Serbia adds putting her bag away and sitting at her computer.

We hear Albania chuckle smug. "Face it Serbia. I won the match fair and square."

"Oh, really?" the northern nation adds in a mocking tone. "I didn't even know you qualified."

There is a moment of silence on the other end. "Shut up! It still counts."

"Sure sure" Serbia says leaning back into her office chair. "Your people seem to do really well abroad. It's strange though."

"What" Albania inquires becoming irritated.

"That with people like that and a coast like yours you never managed to make your place prosper. It's like you don't have the slightest clue of what you are doing or how to run a country properly."

Stunned for a second, her collocutor continues "Well, if I'm so clueless, how did I make America my friend?"

Serbia scoffs: "Anyone willing to kiss his arse, can become his friend."

"You still didn't manage to do that. Such a thing requires unity and your people can't agree on anything" Albania replies mockingly. Serbia holds her breath, not being able to claim it was a lie.

"Well, unlike some, I don't make the ones who don't agree with me disappear" she replies insinuating.

"That's a bold remark. Care to prove that in court? Oh wait. You already tried that and failed miserably" Albania says through the phone.

"That's because the witnesses kept dying under mysterious circumstances!" Serbia yells at the smart phone.

Albania is ready to scream back when she interrupts: "I'm busy. Bye" she blurts. Insults are heard on the other side before the line is cut off. A second later, a message pops up with the picture of Albania making an eagle with her hands.

She makes a face, shoving her phone far away.

In a bad mood, The Republic of Serbia goes on a news site. She sees an article about the latest match and frowns. It goes something like "You Will Never Believe What Happened in Last Nights Match! Football Fans Are in Shock Because..."

"Damn it I hate clickbaity titles" she says proceeding to click.

"Why hello there Serbiana!" Croatia's face pops up on in a small video chat.

She flinches and replies with a big vein popping on her temple: "Stop calling me that! It's insulting!"

Croatia acts as if confused. "Why so angry? It's just a way to differentiate between Serbs at your place and mine."

"Ha!" she laughs. "Well if you haven't noticed you don't need to do that anymore. There are no more Serbs left at your place."

Caught off guard, Croatia continues. "Yes, there are! I have a thriving Serb minority group."

"More like a hostage Serb minority" she quickly remark.

Silent for a second, he blurts: "You're just jealous I'm doing so much better in football than you." He then adds smug: "In fact I'm doing better overall. You have to admit, I must be doing something right to have such good luck."

She rolls her eyes pretending to be cool. "Everyone has their 5 minutes of fame. Enjoy it while it lasts" she says confident and turns off the video chat.

"What's that suppose to mean?" another small video window pops up. Surprised, Serbia frowns: "How do you keep doing that?!"

"I have my ways" he replies crossing his arms. "And don't change the subject! Why did you say what you said?"

Serbia lights a cigarette and continues calmly. "It means that, like all good things, it will come to an end. In fact, it can end just like that" she says snapping her fingers and proceeds to turn the video off again. The display is empty again.

"Oh that is so typical of you..." is heard from a thousand popping videos all of Croatia criticising her.

Baffled and alarmed, she yells out: "Get out of my computer!"