I'm just over a week off my due date so I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed, but just wanted to get it out before baby comes :)

Hope you are all still enjoying this story, sorry it's been a while.


Buttoning his heavy coat up to his neck, Negan took in a huff of air, bracing himself as he shoved open the door that led out to the darkened lot.

Shit.

It was freezing out here.

Even in the covered-over, makeshift garage, housing the Sanctuary's vehicles at the rear of the factory, the air out here was bitter and icy.

The kind of cold that took the breath right out of your lungs before you'd even had the chance to breathe it.

But burying his chin inside his stiff collar, Negan let the door swing closed behind him with a clatter. Determined.

He was doing this for Mia, for Blake, for his goddamn family. In fact, for everyone here.

He was going out to search for meds, for help, for fucking something. Because if he didn't…

Negan gave a hard swallow.

He didn't want to think what would happen if he came back empty handed.

He knew that scores of his bravest lieutenants had been searching for weeks for the same things. Of course they had been. But surely he had to try something?

He had heard Mia's coughing and knew what it meant.

If she didn't get better…

Negan closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds, letting these frightening thoughts spur him on, through the bitter cold.

Negan paced on long legs through the lot, finally finding what he knew was one of the better trucks up front.

He had seen it out there in the treacherous weather first hand, and knew it handled well in the snow and was powerful enough to get through some of the larger drifts without getting stuck.

For Negan knew that all it would take would be for that truck to break down in the middle of nowhere, for him to be a goner.

He had no radio. No way of contacting the Sanctuary.

And so he prayed to whatever kinda god was up there, that his sheer will would be enough to make it through all this alive.

Reaching the truck and using his gloved hand to haul open the frozen door. Negan quickly hopped up inside the cab placing Lucille down at his side.

Goddamn. It was almost as cold in here as it was out there.

Negan's breath spiralled above his head as he reached for the keys, already sat in the ignition. He turned them hurriedly, hearing the engine tick over once, then twice, then on the third try, luckily, it burst into life.

"That's my girl," Negan murmured patting the steering wheel, as he flicked on the headlamps, illuminating the expansive lots that surrounded the Sanctuary and the snow that still fell in droves around it.

Shit.

He had never known a winter like it. Non-stop snow for what felt like months.

But determined not to dwell on the hopelessness of the situation, Negan put his foot on the gas and felt the truck slowly begin to roll forward.

He could fucking do this.

Taking it slow across the snow, the truck eased itself out of the covered lot and out into the open where Negan momentarily felt the wheels spin a little.

But he regained control quickly, and made the slow turn right.

But again within moments he lost control again, the vehicle drifting off course within the deep drifts of snow.

"No, no, no, c'mon you son of a fucking bitch," Negan drawled, leaning forwards over the sterling wheel and squinting out.

Goddamn. Now that the truck had turned, facing into the wind, it was hard to make out anything as the snow flurries pummelled the windshield.

Negan could feel despair and frustration kicking in.

"Fuck," he exclaimed, louder this time, as the truck slid towards one of the fences.

But putting his foot down onto the gas he managed to veer it around the next corner, turning right once more.

He could now just about make out the main Sanctuary gates across the far compound. That was where he needed to get to.

All he had to do now was navigate this goddamn asshole of a truck around the three large cabins that filled the disused lots.

These little outhouses were empty, likely offices of the former factory contractors, and rarely used for anything other than storage or the odd game of cards arranged by his lower ranking lieutenants these days.

Yet here they stood, like cold, looming monuments, barring the way between Negan and the way out.

But with gritted teeth and a second wave of determination kicking in, Negan focused on carefully rolling the truck around the nearest one.

Despite skidding a little, the vehicle obeyed, easing itself around the cabin pretty smoothly.

The second one was hardly a bother either.

But the moment that Negan even attempted the wide berth around the third outhouse, the steering wheel held fast beneath his grasp before starting to slide in the opposite direction.

The dark-haired man lifted his foot from the gas and hurriedly tried to brake.

But the truck would not obey, an awful screeching sound coming from beneath the wheels as the truck veered into the side of the outhouse, hitting the wooden wall with a dull thud.

It was barely a fucking impact and yet it was enough to switch off the engine.

"C'mon…" Negan pleaded as he tried the key in the ignition.

But the truck barely gave a splutter before giving up.

Negan stared out at the windshield before him, snow hurriedly pilling itself onto the wipers now they were still.

Fuck.

He parted his lips. A sense of overwhelming hopelessness overcoming him.

Fuck.

He had failed.

Failed to even get out of the goddamn lot to save his own fucking family.

He felt like a goddamn failure and a coward.

A man gone from being someone revered, to someone he would have strung up on that fucking fence over there.

How could he go back inside now? How could he tell Blake that he hadn't even managed to get out of the damn Sanctuary?

He had promised her he'd do something. That he'd be a man. That he'd save his family and his people.

Negan now felt a shame wash over him like no other.

He closed his eyes, giving a difficult swallow, not even knowing what to do, as his hands moved almost by themselves grasping up Lucille shakily and shoving open the driver's side door.

The dark-haired man hopped out, his feet and calves landing in at least a foot and a half of deep snow.

He gazed around at the cabins standing stark and silent before him, illuminated by a sickly orange glow from one of the aging floodlights above.

What the hell was he going to do now?

Should he go back for another truck? Try and see how far he could get on foot?

But Negan's thoughts were suddenly disturbed by a snarl from just over his shoulder, and he turned, just in time, to see a pair of ghastly hands reaching out towards him.

"Shit!" he yelled, staggering backwards but losing his footing in the deep drift of snow and landing on his ass, Lucille tumbling from his hand as he did so. "Goddamnit!"

The figure above him was a rotter, no doubt about that, but far fresher than the rest, and it took Negan a moment to realise that this was in fact one of his men, Roland, who had gone out days ago and not returned.

It must have been that he had made it back to the Sanctuary somehow but never managed to get back inside. So fucking close yet so far.

Unfortunately it seemed that Roland, who was only in his early twenties, had obviously met a grizzly end on the road, judging by the large and deep chunk that was missing from his shoulder.

The walker's hands reached out for Negan, who tried to slide himself backwards through the snow. But with the snow as deep as it was, all the Saviour managed to do was lose his balance on the ground behind him.

He reached a hand out just in time to grasp Roland around the collar and hold him at arms length as he snapped and snarled Negan's way.

And it took all of Negan's strength to finally lift himself up onto one elbow and shove Roland backwards, the walker, staggering back a few yards and giving the leader of the Saviours time to clamber to his feet.

Brushing himself down, Negan quickly glanced around in the dark searching for Lucille who he had dropped in all the commotion. But she was nowhere to be seen.

Shit. He couldn't have lost her could he?

But Negan barely had time to linger, as Roland ahead of him gave a harsh snarl once again, regaining his footing and making once more for Negan, causing the dark-haired man to look up quickly.

He had a gun stuffed down the back of his pants, but he knew he had no time to even reach for it as the biter drew nearer and nearer.

And so, doing the only thing he could think to do, Negan fled. Trudging as fast as he could around the cabin to his right.

All he needed to do was circle around the looming building then he could head back towards the Sanctuary to safety.

A flurry of falling snow cascaded across his vision as he moved, causing Negan to wince against it.

All the while he could hear Roland advancing on him behind.

Through a mix of the bitter cold out here, the snow obscuring his vision, and the sheer hard work it was taking to move his muscles through the deep snow drifts, Negan quickly found himself out of breath, lungs burning, desperate to stop, to give up.

But Negan knew he couldn't do that, not when he had failed so miserably, when he had achieved nothing. That would be coward's demise, just like Roland's.

The leader of the Saviour's chanced a glance over his shoulder, seeing Roland still advancing on him, which wasn't surprising as Negan's pace was barely better than any rotter in the deep white powder beneath his feet.

"Shit," Negan repeated again under his breath, turning back around just in time to stop himself as he almost barreled into the rear bumper of a large beaten up red truck.

Carefully he paced around it, running his hand along the side of it to steady himself as he walked, as another flurry of snow hit him directly in the eyes blinding him for a moment.

And luckily his outstretched arms were the only thing to stop him from walking straight into the open driver's side door of the truck Negan squinted up at the vehicle and recognised it at once as one belonging to the Sanctuary. One that gone out with Roland and Luis just over a week ago.

But Negan's slight distraction was enough for another rasping snarl from over his shoulder, and Negan had barely a second to turn to find the grey and almost blue figure of Roland mere inches away.

"You fucker!" Negan exclaimed as he was forced backwards, his spine colliding with the driver's seat inside the open truck behind him.

Instinctively he outstretched one arm, pressing it against the biter's chest, as it snapped his jaws at him hungrily and with the other hand he fumbled at his back, trying to reach for the gun in his pants that was now obscured by layers upon layers of coats, jackets, shirts…

Finally Negan's fingers curved around the handle, quickly pulling it from the back of his pants, numb fingers fumbling for the safety as he lifted it towards Roland's skull.

"Sorry, kid," Negan muttered through gritted teeth as he pulled the trigger.

The spray of viscera and blood that managed to spurt out of the back of Roland's head was truly something, as it coated the white snow all around them, and caused the rotter's body to still at once and slump to the ground at Negan's feet.

And it took Negan a long few seconds of wincing, for his ears to stop ringing at the close proximity of the loud gunshot.

Negan turned slowly, steadying himself against the worn interior of the truck for a moment. He breathed hard, brow furrowed, eyes blinking slowly, as he regained his composure.

Shit like that was never fucking easy, especially when it was someone you had a known for a while. Even an asshole like Negan knew that.

But suddenly Negan stilled, his ragged breathing halting, as his eyes suddenly settled upon something sat on the passenger seat just a couple of feet away.

Negan frowned, giving a couple of hard blinks not quite trusting his own vision for a moment.

That was until he steadied himself against the seat beside him and reached out a hand, pulling the large and heavy item towards him.

"Well I'll be fuckin' damned," breathed Negan, his dark eyes took in object before him.

An object that might just save them all now.

It wasn't meds, but it was certainly something that would make Beansprout and everyone else's chances of survival that much better.

An object that Negan had seen sent out by Eugene in numerous drawings over the past few weeks for the lieutenants to look for.

An object he had given up any chance of them ever finding…but Roland obviously had.

Roland had, despite getting bit, made it all the way back to Sanctuary, to save them all.

To give them the one thing they had been searching for this whole time to no avail...

The missing generator part.

And despite the cold, and the lack of Lucille, and the fact that he could no longer feel his fucking toes out here, Negan gave a wide grin.

His first in fucking days.