[Jimmy is playing in the grass. He runs forward and somersaults.]

[Edd is emptying a ladybug jar out onto the grass.]

Edd: "Be brave, fine fellow!" [The insect crawls onto a large blade of grass before Edd's eyes.] "Out of the incubator and passed on into the world. Let's try to adapt, shall we?" [He watches it eat.] "By George, he's assimilated!"

[Jimmy, still rolling, runs over the ladybug.]

Jimmy: "Whee!"

Edd: "Guyuh." [Shocked, he looks at the empty blade of grass before realizing something.] "JIMMY, STOP!"

Jimmy: [sitting up] "Hello?" [Edd pokes through his person.]

Edd: "Stay perfectly still! Somersaulting is a wild and disreputable sport, young man. Let's hope your carelessness didn't harm the innocent." [He pulls out the ladybug.] "See? You could've crushed this poor arthropod."

Jimmy: "Was that on me?"

Edd: "Jimmy, the grass conceals a microworld, home to thousands upon thousands of fascinating insects! It just hitched a ride in your hair to–"

Jimmy: [scared] "Creepy-crawly! They're all around me! They're all around me! Bugs! Sarah! Help!"

[Jimmy runs away, scared out of his mind.]

Edd: "Well, Jimmy's lack of good judgement is quite evident." [He runs into a pair of dangling legs.] "Jonny, not again!"

Jonny: [stuck in a tree] "Yup, this happens to me a lot, Double D."

Edd: "Didn't you learn from your past mistakes, Jonny? After all, it's just common sense."

Jonny: "I guess not." [He chuckles.]

Edd: "Can I help in any way?"

Jonny: "No thanks. Plank already went for help."

[Edd looks at the prone, motionless Plank, lying about two yards behind Jonny.]

Jonny: "He'll be back around a freckle past a hair."

Edd: "In-trest-ing." [He walks away.]

Edd: [walking down the sidewalk] "It may just be coincidence, but it seems good judgement is at a premium today."

[Ed bursts out of his front door, carrying a belt.]

Ed: "Snake! Snake! I got it Eddy I got it!"

Eddy: "Watch it, Ed! It might bite!"

Nat: "Guys please listen to me it's not a-"

Ed: [holding the belt over his eyes] "It has blinded me with its venom!" [He ties his face up.]

Eddy: "Pull it off, Ed!"

Ed: "It is slippery, Eddy!"

[Nat facepalms and sighs]

[Ed wrestles with it, finally throwing the belt to the ground, where it lands between Ed, Nat and Eddy.]

Eddy: "Did you see that thing lunge at us?"

Edd: "That is a belt."

Ed: "I heard it hiss, Double D."

Edd: "Impossible, Ed."

Eddy: [prodding the belt with his foot] "It ain't movin much."

Edd: "It's a belt! For crying out loud, it secures your pants!"

Nat: "That's what I've been trying to say!"

Eddy: [jiggling it] "Sure looked like a snake. Hey! I bet we could sell this thing as an exotic pet!"

Ed: "I'd buy it."

Edd: "That's it, I don't wanna hear any more!" [ranting] "The academic level of this cul-de-sac is dropping like a lead weight! If we don't provide ourselves with some sort of mental stimulation, we'll all be reduced to protoplasm!"

Nat: "Double D-"

Eddy: [ignoring Edd] "Hey Lurch, with a little paint, that football could look like an alligator."

[Edd, scared, begins to sweat.]

Edd: "You need help. You all need help!" [He runs away. Ed and Eddy look at each other and shrug.]

Nat: "Double D wait!" [she facepalms and sighs] "I should go after him."

Eddy: "Your ditching us?"

Nat: "I just want to make sure he's ok." [She runs off]

[Nat is walking down the lane]

Nat: "Double D? Double D where are you?"

[Nat sees Edd setting up a desk and chalkboard. She walks up to him.]

Nat: "Double D?"

Edd: "Nat, my beloved female companion I'm overjoyed that you came."

Nat: "You are?"

Edd: "I am. I have taken the liberty of setting up a classroom for everyone for the purpose of increasing the academic level of this cul-de-sac."

Nat: "Ok."

Edd: "And as you are the one with the most common sense I would like you to be my assistant."

Nat: "Sure Double D but."

Edd: "Yes?"

Nat: "It's just that I'm ok with this but what about everyone else?"

Edd: "I understand that there may be some with complaints but please trust me when I say this is necessary."

Nat: "Ok I trust you, I'll go get some seats."

Edd: "Thank you Nat."

[She runs off.]

[Kevin is walking down the lane.]

Rolf: "Come, Kevin."

Kevin: "Forget it, man. I don't walk with pigs."

[Rolf is walking Wilfred. Jonny's head is stuck in the pig's mouth.]

Jonny: "I can hear the ocean, Plank!"

[Wilfred starts, and the procession comes to a halt.]

Kevin: "What the heck's that supposed to be?"

Eddy: "Don't get too close! Our pet alligator might attack in the blink of an eye." [The football has become an alligator.]

Kevin: "That's no alligator."

Eddy: "What do you know? Didn't you see it move?" [The object starts to move backward. Wonderously] "It's really moving."

Ed: "Let's sing a song!"

Jimmy: [nervous] "Someone stop that monstrosity!"

Jonny: "Let's catch it and put it in a box!" [He runs after it.]

Nazz: "Hurry, Kevin!" [The kids all go after the alligator.]

Sarah: "Feed it a rock!"

Rolf: "Let Rolf wrestle the beast!"

Eddy: [pleased by this unexpected turn of events] "We're sitting on a gold mine, Ed!"

Ed: "E-I-E-I-O!"

[Nat is holding a fishing rod. She reels in the alligator as the kids arrive.]

Edd: "Attention. Your attention, thank you." [He walks behind the desk.] "Please be seated."

[The kids take their seats. Edd draws a diagram on the board of an alligator and then begins the lecture.]

Edd: "Good day, class. First lesson is how to differentiate between an alligator and a recreational toy. Nat if you please."

[Nat rips the parts off of the football, revealing it as a forgery.]

Eddy: [nervous] "He's wrecking everything, Ed!"

Edd: "Eddy." [He comes over to their seats in the back.] "Nazz, please switch seats with Ed."

[Ed gets up mopily, thinking he's being punished. Nazz comes over and takes Ed's seat, and Eddy goes silent.]

Nazz: "Hi, Eddy." [Eddy sweats.]

Edd: [resuming his teaching position] "That is just one example of the alarming decline in rational thinking that–" [A ripping sound is heard. Rolf is seen chewing some black gunk.] "Rolf!"

Rolf: "Hallo?"

Edd: [outraged] "Get rid of that gum."

Rolf: "This is no gum. It is the greasel for Papa's foot soakings."

Edd: [angry] "Now!" [to the class] "Look around you! Our break from school has turned us into lumbering, nonsensical ninnies!" [Rolf sticks the foot soakings to Plank.] "My apologies for being so blunt." [Kevin raises his hand.] "Yes, Kevin."

Kevin: "So, what you're saying is...you're a dork?" [The kids burst out laughing, though Ed has trouble understanding the joke.]

Edd: "I see a visual aid is in order. Nat?"

[Nat puts a dunce cap on Kevin. She nervously smiles and backs away.]

Kevin: [fists raised] "That's it!" [Eddy pulls the cap down below Kevin's chin. The kids laugh.]

Eddy: "What a dunce!" [Kevin slams his head into Eddy's chest, knocking him back.]

Nazz: "Boy Kevin, that was stupid."

Edd: [getting out some envelopes] "My sentiments exactly, Nazz. I've come up with a scavenger hunt to help stimulate your minds." [He gives the stack of envelopes to Nat. She hands one to everybody] "Note: each envelope contains a list of clues. Solve these clues, collect the object that relates to that clue, and earn a grand prize!"

Nazz: "What's the prize, Double D?"

Jonny: "Is it wood varnish?"

Jimmy: "Shiny tweezers?"

Sarah: "A new brother?"

Rolf: "It must be a jawbreaker."

Eddy: "Jawbreaker?"

Rolf: "Glistening with sugar like sweat on Nana's upper lip."

Edd: "Actually, Rolf, it's a–"

Rolf: "Rolf accepts the challenge!"

Jimmy: "Oh goodie, a hunt!" [The kids rush off to begin searching.]

Nazz: "Hurry up, Kevin!"

Edd: "The pursuit of wisdom and mental cultivation! This should–"

Eddy: "Cough up the jawbreaker!"

Ed: "Hello!"

Edd: "No!" [He slips out from between his friends.] "But you don't understand!" [Eddy attacks him.]

Eddy: [gleefully] "But where'd you stash it, Double D? Where?" [Ed jumps on them.]

Ed: "I am back!" [He puts Eddy in a headlock.] "Say 'toy boat' three times really fast."

Edd: [strangled] "In order to receive the prize you'll need to win the hunt."

Ed: "Toy boat, toy boat, toy–" [Eddy punches him.]

Edd: [waving a sheet of paper] "Read the clues, Eddy." [Eddy snatches the paper.]

Eddy: [cynical] "Clue Number 1: When I grow up, I want to be a tree." [He pauses.] "This is so stupid!"

Edd: "Absorb the clue, Eddy. I want to be a tree?"

[Eddy sweats cluelessly. Ed looks at the clue.]

Nat: "I know what it is it's an-"

Ed: "Ooh! I know, I know!" [He runs away.]

Eddy: "You show em, Monobrow!" [to Edd] "Ha! Too. Easy."

Ed: "I win!" [He places a slice of melon on the ground.] "Jawbreaker, please."

[Nat facepalms and sighs]

Edd: "Ed, why would a watermelon want to be a tree?"

Ed and Eddy: "Jawbreaker please!"

Edd: "You're not even close!" [He walks over to a tree.] "A tree." [He plucks an acorn from a branch.] "Oh, look! An acorn!" [pretending to converse with the acorn] "Wait, yes? Uh-huh? Okay, I'll tell them." [to his friends] "I'm a little acorn, and when I grow up, I want to be A TREE!" [switching between gentle and harsh] "Acorn–BECOMES A TREE! Acorn–BECOMES TREE! Acorn–TREE!"

Eddy: [during Edd's last sentence] "This is gonna take–"

Sarah: "...forever, Jimmy." [She and Jimmy are in the park, hunting for answers.] "This is stupid!"

Jimmy: "Oh don't say that, Sarah. Jonny's already ahead of us, see?" [Jonny is indeed carrying a stuffed bag.]

Jonny: [picking up a can] "Yup, it's a tin can all right. Boy, Plank, you're a brainiac!" [He stuffs it in the bag.]

Sarah: [grabbing Jonny] "What's the answer to the first clue?"

Jonny: [scratching his head] "Beats me. Plank and I thought we'd just collect stuff. Like this paper!"

[Jonny takes the paper and begins to walk away.]

Sarah: "Hey! Give that back!" [She begins to chase Jonny. Meanwhile, Nazz is putting acorns in a sack.]

Kevin: "Nazz, this is so stupid."

Nazz: "You're not even trying, Kevin. Don't you want to win that jawbreaker?"

Kevin: "What for? I got a whole garage full of jawbreakers, remember?"

[Nazz looks at the clue sheet, suddenly realizing how futile the whole exercise is.]

Nazz: "This is stupid."

[Kevin and Nazz race out of the park. Jimmy cries alone.]

Rolf: "Why do you cry, feeble one? You must shed tears of joy, as Rolf is victor of this scavenger hunt."

[Rolf's bag is completely filled. Jimmy looks inside, and two beets roll out.]

Jimmy: "This bag is full of beets." [He picks up a beet.] "What clue is beets?"

Rolf: "Know nothing! The humble beet is the answer to all riddles." [He puts his beets back.] "You bore Rolf! Rolf must claim his prize!" [He runs towards the lane.]

Jimmy: "Sarah! Rolf is cheating!"

Ed: "Pink belly!" [He slaps Edd's belly.] "Pink belly!" [Edd's stomach is slapped again.] "Pink belly!"

Edd: "Ed, please!" [He gets hit again.] "Stop it, Ed!"

Eddy: "You know how to make Ed stop, Double D. Tell us where ya hid the jawbreaker!"

Edd: "I can't do that, Eddy. I'd be denying you both an opportunity to learn."

Eddy: "Ed?"

Nat: "No Ed! Please don't!"

Eddy: "Ok then Nat you tell us."

Nat: "I-I don't know!"

Eddy: [sing song] "Ed?"

Ed: "Pink belly!" [slap] "Pink belly!" [slap] "Pink belly!"

Nat: "THERE IS NO JAWBREAKER!"

[Ed drops Edd. Nat goes to help him. Rolf enters the lane.]

Rolf: "No jawbreaker? Swindlers! You promised Rolf the jawbreaker!"

Edd: "No, Rolf. If you recall, I did not use the word 'jawbreaker'."

Sarah: "RIP-OFF ARTIST!"

Jimmy: "Ooh you're gonna pay."

Edd: "Now now, I assure you, there is a prize. Something far more valuable than a jawbreaker." [The kids perk up.] "Are you ready? The reward of higher learning!" [He pulls out a valueless diploma.] "This diploma will–" [A beet smacks him in the head.]

Sarah: "Nice shot, Rolf." [She hands Rolf another beet. Jonny arrives, bruised and battered.]

Jonny: "Are we too late for the prize?"

Sarah: "Nope! One moment, please." [She pours the contents of the bag out over Edd.] "Break it up, boys."

Edd: "There's a lesson to be–" [a tin can hits him in the face] "–learned here, gentlemen."

Eddy: [picking up a sprinkler] "Check it out, Ed! This looks just like an iguana!"

Nat: [helping Edd up] "I'm sorry this didn't work out Double D."

Edd: "You are not to blame Nat."

[The Eds and Nat are running an exotic pet stand. Kevin picks up the redecorated sprinkler.]

Kevin: "Is this thing supposed to be dead?"

Eddy: "The iguana ain't dead, windbag. It's just–uh–" [He elbows Edd, waiting for an explanation.]

Edd: "Sleeping like a baby, Kevin."

Nat: "That'll be twenty-five cents."

Jonny: "Sold!" [He slaps down a quarter and carries the iguana away.]

Edd: "Besides Nat, I'm surrounded by idiots."

Eddy: [indifferent] "Who's complaining?"

[Further down the driveway, Ed is acting as a snake charmer. He uses the belt as a snake and his toes to manipulate the false snake for an enraptured audience consisting of Rolf.]

Rolf: [amazed] "Oh! Oh! I see it, but Rolf cannot believe it! Oooh! Oh!"