Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine
Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.
Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.
"Where's the fire?" Danny asked as he let himself into Steve's house. "Nice of you to finally show up two days after Grover, Kono, and Chin got back."
Steve pushed a Longboard into Danny's hand as soon as he was past the threshold, "You're gonna want that."
Danny eyed him suspiciously as he cracked it open and took a drink, "I mean, I'm not opposed to beers at ten in the morning on a Wednesday, but, uh, you might wanna tell me what's, uh, what's going on. Maybe start with why you didn't come back with the rest of the team."
"I had business to take care of in California."
"You visit Mary?"
Steve shook his head, "Had to go see Jim, the, uh, the old guy who owns that bar in Coronado. He and I had some stuff to talk about."
"Okay?" Danny took another sip and then held up the bottle, "So what's this all about then? Catherine? Let me guess. You two almost killed each other over there."
He took a deep breath and downed the rest of his beer, "She was pregnant."
Danny blinked once and then twice, "I'm sorry, it sounded like you said she was pregnant."
"That's what I said, Danny." Steve groaned as he sunk down into the leather couch
"'Was' as in isn't anymore or 'was' as in she was pregnant when you saw her three days ago?"
He pressed the cool glass to his temple, "Was, as in I got her pregnant before she left and she lost the baby."
Danny's jaw bounced off the floor, "Oh shit." He got up from his spot and grabbed another beer out of the fridge. Handing it to Steve, he said, "Take it. You look like you need another." He eased back down across from Steve and clasped his hands together, "How is she? I mean, is she, uh is she okay?"
"She said she's fine." He muttered, "It's been a couple months since it happened."
"Damn." Danny sighed. "I'm sorry, man. That's, uh…. Fuck, that's rough." Steve and Danny sat in companionable silence as they nursed their beers. Both still reeling in the heaviness of the news. "Did she ever give you an explanation as to why she left you like that? Why she didn't tell you about the CIA?"
Steve nodded, "It was blowback from our op in Afghanistan. CIA got spooked when we stumbled on Hassan and I had to get exfiled. They caught her comin' back across the border with the kid. Took her in. Told her they'd have me extradited and turned over to the Afghan government if she didn't cooperate." He scrubbed the three-day beard on his face closed his eyes, "She got fucking blackmailed into it and rather than saving herself, she saved my sorry ass."
"You'd do the same thing for her." Danny countered, "What did I always tell you? Huh? Catherine's the female you."
"She and Doris kept me out of the Columbia deal." Steve groaned, "They tried to get you out too but they didn't have enough leverage for the both of us." A sinister laugh escaped his mouth, "Oh, yeah, and we fucked on the plane."
Danny's eyebrows darted into his hairline, "Oh shit."
"And then once we got Doris back, we're about to say goodbye and she tells me that Lynn told her about the ring and the proposal."
"Fucking shit."
"And then she told me to make it work with Lynn." Steve pressed his palms into his eyes and groaned, "I swear, man. It was hot and cold. One minute we're ignoring each other, the next we're biting each other's heads off. Her and I- we've never been like that, man. "
Danny tossed the glass bottles in the recycling and crossed his arms, "So what are you gonna do? You, uh, you gonna tell Lynn you cheated on her?"
Steve winced. It was exactly what he had done, but hearing Danny say it made it even worse. "I dunno." He grumbled, "Maybe? But, I mean… Catherine- she's not comin' back. Is it really so bad if I don't tell her?"
"It'll be bad if Lynn finds out on her own." Danny shrugged, "Then again, it'll still be bad if you tell her. But, uh, you're gonna have to tell her somethin' 'cause the minute you peeled out of here with Catherine, she called Amber and told her and the two of them together- not good. Two women with a bottle of wine and Google are better at digging up dirt than the NSA."
Caroline pressed her hands against the conference table in the briefing room and pursed her lips. "You're telling me tha Catherine and a bunch of civilians are the ones who breached the compound in Rabat?"
"A couple civilians and an ex-Navy SEAL." Jude corrected.
She raised her hand to signal that he should stop talking, "I'm going to pretend that you never told me that because then I'd have to report it and lose two of my best. And it's a hell of a lot of paperwork." Caroline sighed and paced the tiny briefing room, "I'm gonna have to put you two in the field. If you're undercover the brass won't wanna risk blowing an op to run you through a disciplinary hearing."
Jude leaned back in the folding chair he had squeezed himself into, "What kind of op are we talking?"
"Talib is rumored to be coming into the city to meet with some high ranking Al-Qaeda members. It's recon and surveillance only. No contact."
"Easy enough." He agreed. "When do we move out?"
Caroline slid a folder stamped CLASSIFIED to him, "As soon as you and your princess can pack a bag."
Catherine fiddled with her hijab. Over the years she'd become a pro at wrapping them securely enough that they wouldn't slide down her silky hair, but the fabric just wasn't cooperating today. A string of colorful profanities escaped her mouth as she yanked it off her head to start from scratch.
"You alright, Princess?" Jude glanced over from the driver's seat. It was completely obvious that she was very much not alright, but he thought it best to ask anyways. "Hey." He reached over and put his hand on top of hers, "You've barely said ten words to me since you got back."
She huffed as she brushed his hand away and finally got the hijab secured, "I'm not in the mood for this right now."
Jude raised an eyebrow as he turned his gaze back to the road ahead, "You've made that pretty clear."
"Jude, I have enough on my mind right now, I can't dea-"
"Catherine, listen to me." He snapped. It was rare that Jude lost his temper, but her iciness towards the rest of the house had returned and apparently, extended to now include him, "Either you tell me why your head is up your very nice ass, or you cut the Frosty the Snow Bitch act." Her cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink as she stifled a laugh. "What?!" He exclaimed. "I'm being serious!"
Catherine composed herself, "Did you just call me Frosty the Snow Bitch?"
He slung his arm across her shoulders as he pulled the car down a narrow alleyway. "You do have a reputation of being a little cold, Princess."
"It was a long trip. I'm just tired is all."
Jude gave her a doubtful look. He parked the car behind their hotel and led her inside. His hand found the small of her back. The doorman ushered them inside. He barely had time to whisper, "Just go with it", Before a man in a tailored suit approached them.
"Mr. Beckett. Good to have you with us again. And this must be Mrs. Beckett." He grinned, his perfect English was laced with a Pashto accent, "Are you here for business or pleasure this time?"
Jude winked at Catherine, "Mostly business, but I hope it turns into a little of both." She was fuming and it was making him giddy. Her clenched fists looked like they were ready to deck someone- most likely him. He reached over and held her tensed hand, lacing their fingers together, "The missus and I are a little tired. Long flight."
"Of course." The suit smiled as he produced a room key, "Elevators are to the left. I'm sure you remember."
As soon as the elevator doors closed, Catherine's death glare bore into him, "I'm sorry. Your WIFE?! What the hell, Beckett?!"
He chuckled, "Pamir bought it, didn't he? He's an asset I've had for a while. Trust me. He'll like you a lot more if he thinks you're my wife and not an agent. He's easily spooked when it comes to feeding me intel, but the information is always reliable."
"You're gonna pay for this." She hissed as he marched her down the hallway
When they were safely tucked in their room, Jude held up one giant finger to his mouth to signal for her to be quiet. He circled his other hand around the room. Their signal to sweep for bugs. When they came up empty handed, Jude pushed their suitcases into a corner and kicked his shoes off. "So other than the girlfriend and the proposal that never happened, how'd it go?"
Catherine braced her hands against the desk, "I'm over it."
"Bullshit." He moved to stand behind her. "Talk to me."
"Highlights?" She sighed, "We screamed at each other, I told him about why I had to join up, we had sex, he knows about the miscarriage, and we rescued Doris. I think that covers it."
Jude reached around her and unfastened her hijab. Setting it aside, he ran his hands through her hair, "How are you?"
Tired. Wrecked. Heartbroken. "I have a big ass bruise on my back from getting fucked on the floor of a C-130."
He chuckled and slipped his hand up the back of her shirt, gently rubbing idle circles on her skin, caressing her sore muscles. "You're tense."
"You're very close." She mumbled.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"We have work to do."
"That's not a yes or a no, Princess."
Catherine reached behind her and gently pushed his hand out from under her shirt. She turned to face him, "Jude, I'm not ready." She admitted, "Seeing him again… I just…. I feel like I'm back to square one."
He wasn't scared off by her admission. If anything, he was relieved that he was finally honest with him, "That explains the Ice Queen act back at the house."
"Jude, I'm sorry."
He shook his head, "Don't be." His hands smoothed from her shoulders, down her arms, to her hands, "I'm here for you. You know that, right? The pads of his fingertips dug into the soft curve of her hips, "You can trust me with whatever's going on in your head."
"I just don't want to lead you on." She admitted.
"Catherine, come here." It was rare that Jude called her by her name. He sat back on the bed and pulled her down with him, "Whatever you do or don't want out of this, I'm gonna have your back. That's never gonna change. I'm still gonna be here to listen. And I like to think I'm a pretty non-judgemental guy. So whatever shit you're feeling, you can tell me."
She melted into his chest and closed her eyes, "I'm still mad at you for the whole 'Mrs. Beckett' thing."
He chuckled and pressed a kiss on top of her head, "I know."
Journal #8
Kabul, Afghanistan
It's my first assignment after the Morocco op. Part of me feels like a giant weight has been lifted. The weight being that Steve knows everything. No more hiding. (Except from enemy combatants) No more lying. (Except to enemy combatants and occasionally my mother.) I should feel guilty that I feel this relieved, but I don't.
Here's the thing, though. Before Morocco, I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I wanted to move on from Steve, have a nice, casual relationship, and make the most of my job. Part of me thought that that plan was going to include Jude in a rather intimate way. But I've realized, Jude has been there for me through a lot of horrible stuff. He's got my back and has given me his shoulder to cry on.
He's my Danny. I think Steve would laugh at the comparison, but it's true. The way that Steve and Danny are practically inseparable is the way I feel about Jude. (Except Jude smells really good. Like… all the time. And he's easy on the eyes. And he's at least five of Danny crammed into one body.)
After he told me about Beth, I think it scared me off a little. He has such a big heart. He loves so easily. Not just towards me- it's the way he cares about Decker and Caroline too. Something he said back at my house stuck with me. He said that I was the miracle that made him want to get back in the game- to try again. He means so much to me. I don't know that I'll ever be able to tell him just how much, but he does. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt him.
And then there's Steve. As much as I will always love him, I feel like we're really over now. That this is it. There are no more secrets and we can both walk away from it with closure.
"So you, uh, you tracked him down?" Danny stared out at the ocean as he and Steve reclined in the beach chairs. "You sure that's a good idea?"
The divot between Steve's brows deepened and his mouth turned down in a frown, "Why wouldn't that be a good idea? It's a great idea. It, uh, it'd make Catherine really happy."
Danny shook his head, "Did you learn nothing from the Billy situation?"
"It's not like that." Steve countered. "And Catherine and I are good. If he comes around, I, uh, I think it'd mean a lot to her. I think it'd be good for her."
"How so?"
He chuckled, "You know those journals I've been reading? Catherine, she, uh, she called him 'her Danny'." Steve smirked, "And she still lets you come around, so..." He shifted in the weathered beach chair and dug his heels into the sand, "You know somethin', I, uh, I think I wanna meet him. Doing all this, it just isn't for her. You know, he… He knew mom. Pretty well, apparently. And, uh, and he was there for Catherine when she lost the baby. And a whole lot of other stuff after that."
Danny nodded, "Makes sense. Does she know you got in touch with him?"
"Haven't yet." Steve clarified. "I dunno. I'm gonna sit on it for a couple days. Even if I do, who knows if he'll be able to come out here or if he'll even wanna see her."
"Daddy!" Shelby squealed as she bolted down the yard towards the shoreline. She stopped just short of the chairs when she caught sight of Danny. "Unca Danno!" She shrieked in delight, raising her arms towards him.
Steve chuckled as Shelby looked at Danny with anticipation and gimme fingers, "Traitor."
Danny grinned as he reached down and hoisted her up, "Hey, Little Red." He ruffled her ginger hair. "You been good for your mom today?"
All Shelby had to offer to the conversation was a giggle as she stared at Danny with adoring eyes. Catherine stepped out onto the lanai and called them all in for dinner.
Danny lifted Shelby onto his shoulders as they walked towards the house, "You gonna tell her?"
Steve shook his head, "Nah. If, uh, if I can get him out here I want it to be a surprise."
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Guys, I'm going to blame my writer's block on this ever ending election cycle and the fact that FanFiction has been a POS lately. Fingers crossed that chapter links, email notifications, reviews, and everything else gets fixed soon! I've sent out what feels like a million bug reports to the admins.
Love you all dearly! Keep on keeping on!
XO,
-Mags-
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