Author's note:

Hi, everyone and a belated happy new year to you all, it feels like forever since I last posted an update to this story.

First off, a huge thank you to everyone who has left me a review or followed/favourited this story since I posted the last update, I really appreciate the support. Secondly, my apologies that it is almost the end of January that this update is finally making it to you and that it consists of only two of the four chapters I promised last time out. Unfortunately, since the turn of the year, I have not had as much writing time as I would have liked and had issues with writing this update. However, I've decided that you guys have waited too long for an update as it is, so I'm posting the two chapters I have now, rather than making you all wait another 2-3 weeks for me to write all four.

Before I move onto this chapter, Celioxa, who did some wonderful drawings of Shego last year, has been busy and drawn some more amazing Kim and Shego artwork. In particular, she has done a fantastic drawing of Shego wearing her outfit from way back in chapter three: Set the fire to the first bar. So, please do check out her Twitter or Instagram pages (links below, just remove the spaces and add 'dot'com after either Twitter or Instagram) and if you like her work, please leave her a like or a comment or follow her.

www . twitter /celioxa

www . instagram /celioxa_art/

Right, onto this update. I will say this upfront, this chapter was a ba***rd to write and the first one that I genuinely did not enjoy writing for this story. However, despite that, I think it turned out quite well in the end, but I'll let you guys be the judge of that. As for the chapter title, Only a crack in this castle of glass, it is taken from the Linkin Park song Castle of glass. I actually heard the song for the first time while in the car after finishing the chapter (it was untitled at the time) and both liked the song and thought that lyric was a perfect title for this chapter. However, I'll leave it to you guys to make what you will of the metaphor.

So, without further delay from me, enjoy.

##

Chapter Twenty-one: Only a crack in this castle of glass

"Take a good look, Inmate."

The dominating voice of Captain Brooks, which contained more than just a hint of satisfaction, rang in Kim's ears, as she was forced to gaze out at the crowd of jeering inmates. Unable to stand the sight of so many villains that she herself had sent to prison laughing at her, she glanced up at the sharp features of the Captain, who held her by a fistful of her flaming-red hair. The woman's thin lips held a slight curl to them and a pair of merciless grey eyes bored into her gentle olive-greens.

"P…P…Please, I don't belong here!" she pleaded

Brooks responded by tightening her grip on Kim's hair; twisting it around so that every strand caused a biting pain in her scalp and felt on the verge of being torn out.

"Ahhh!" she cried out; unable to stifle it.

The laughter from the baying crowd intensified. While they may have hated their tormentor, Kim knew they'd make the exception and wholeheartedly support the Captain's humiliation of her; the one individual they despised more.

A cold, cruel laugh escaped from Brooks' mouth. "Perhaps Inmate is the wrong name for you." A brief flash of menace showed in those empty grey eyes. "Yes, I think Princess will suit you better."

Kim's eyes widened in horror and her mouth fell open. No… how does she…

"That's what she calls you, isn't it?" the Captain asked and Kim was too stunned to tell if the question had been rhetorical or not.

She quickly got her answer as the pain in her scalp intensified, "AHHH!"

"I asked you a question, Princess," Brooks barked. "Is that not what she calls you; your green-skinned little friend?"

"She's not… AHHH!" Kim yelled, hot tears now bursting from her eyes. She did not want to give in to the woman and in a normal situation, she could endure such pain. Except this was no normal situation. In here, Captain Brooks was dictatorial and she powerless. "YES!"

The tension in her hair vanished as the Captain threw her to the ground. Kim's chest clattered against the icy concrete floor; winding her. She sucked in a ragged breath, but before she could even press her hands flat to try and push herself upright, she felt a heavy boot plant itself between her shoulder blades. "Ahhh!" she yelled again, the initial pressure enough to elicit sufficient pain.

"Listen well, Princess," Brooks said sharply, her voice laced with contempt.

Like the foot had just doubled in weight, she felt it press further into her back and her yell turned into a scream, "AHHHH! PLEASE STOP!"

The captain paid no attention to her plea and continued, "you are the hero equivalent of a dirty police officer, Princess."

"You're wrong, I'm not…" the pressure kicked up another notch, "AHHHH!"

"And I despise…"

All of a sudden she felt the boot leave her back, but before she could even think to move...

"…dirty police officers!" Captain Brooks yelled, her voice containing more malice than she had ever heard before and the woman drove her boot into Kim's back like she was stomping on a shovel.

Her own scream rang in Kim's ears, as it was ripped from her lungs; taking all the air with it. Agony coursed through her like someone had just dropped an anvil on her and she was sure she felt multiple ribs break. Hot tears poured from her eyes and a crimson mist tinged her vision as the hollering inmates down below became a blur of orange.

"And don't expect any sympathy or compassion from your cellmates, Princess," Brooks declared.

Kim felt a hand seize a fistful of her hair once more as she was dragged away from the railing and towards her cell. Her vision cleared enough for her to see the figures of Bonnie and Shego, stood still as statues; the latter with a vacant expression on her face.

The hint of triumph returned to the Captain's voice when she added, "I've already broken one and de-clawed the other."

Without warning, Brooks threw Kim forward, causing her to clatter against the floor and with enough momentum that she skidded over the threshold of the cell. Body in agony, she managed to raise her gaze just enough to meet those cold, merciless eyes one last time.

"I'd say rot in hell, Princess, but I'm never letting you leave here, even to go there," Brooks said, her tone as vicious as the slamming of the cell door that followed.

##

At the sound of the metal door crashing into the frame, Kim awoke with a start. Heart hammering, panting and dripping with sweat, her eyes darted around the room. She managed to take in a slow, steadying breath upon seeing the pale lavender walls of her bedroom, instead of the drab grey ones of the jail cell. Just a nightmare… she rubbed the top of her head where her hair had been held in a vice-like grip moments earlier …just a nightmare. Except it wasn't just a nightmare. For the past two nights, plus the morning after she had broken Shego out of prison, she'd had found herself waking up inside Cellblock C, only to be dragged out and displayed in front of a jeering crowd of her own bounties by a dominant and triumphant Captain Brooks. But tonight, it had intensified; with Brooks transitioning from humiliation to brutality. An indication that she was subconsciously feeling even more torn over her recent actions?

Kim glanced at her alarm clock; 5:45 am and promptly turned it off. Her mom had advised her to take today off too and given how open and honest they'd been with one another last night, coupled with her desire not to end up side-lining herself for another two weeks, she had no intention of going out on a mission. While she'd probably try exercising a little, or a lot, pain level dependant, she could do that at any time of the day, so had no intention of getting up in fifteen minutes time. Ironically, at least as far as foiling take over the world schemes go, I've had almost two weeks off since busting Drakken and Shego. Heh, I bet Betty's going ape-shit at the fact I've virtually been MIA for this long; doubly so given that Shego's now free. While she tried to inject a little bit of humour into the thought, it failed to lighten her mood, the Cellblock C Sirens dream having seriously rattled her. The nightmare occurring once, in the direct aftermath of the eventand with the fear of almost getting caught still fresh in her mind, she would have brushed off. Twice, could have been considered an unfortunate coincidence and left at that. But three times in three sleeps since the event… that was worrying.

Rolling over, Kim snuggled the thin summer duvet around her and closed her eyes. Only instead of sleep, her mind kept thinking back to the drab grey walls of the jail cell, the scratchy orange jumpsuit she'd been dressed in and the triumphant look on Captain Brooks face, as the woman held her by the hair and paraded her in front of the other inmates. Urgh, this is getting stupid! So, I broke Shego out of jail, it's hardly the crime of the century. It's not like I stole a pyramid or the moon!

"Shego's a special case. While she might work as a sidekick, she is officially recognised by Global Justice as being more dangerous than any supervillain that is currently active." Kim heard the words of Dr Director play from her memory as though the woman had just spat them at her with the same dark loathing she'd used when initially uttering them.

ok, so Betty might disagree with that sentiment. And I'll bet that Captain Brooks would have me put in jail beside Shego if she knew I had broken her out and could prove it. But what have I actually done other than spare someone from inhumane treatment? The last time Shego got out of jail while Drakken was still inside, she went on vacation for weeks on end. In fact, when I eventually had to track her down, I found her getting a massage, not plotting to take over the world.

"Like that is proof of what she might do this time!"

Kim groaned internally upon hearing the voice of her younger self ring inside her head. I didn't ask for your opinion. Now leave me alone to sleep.

"I'll leave you alone once you fix this mess you've caused and send Shego back to jail, where she belongs."

That's not going to happen, Kim replied defiantly. What they do to Shego in that place is inhumane. No one deserves to be treated like that.

Kimmie let out a mocking laugh that echoed around inside Kim's head. "So, are you going back to break Bonnie, Drakken and all the others out next week?"

What? Kim said incredulously.

"You heard me. Aren't you the one who just said no one deserves to be treated like that?"

Kim completely failed to notice the pitfall trap. What does that have to do with anything?

"You met Captain Brooks. While no one else is likely getting injected with some serum GJ cooked up, do you honestly think they're getting a better deal otherwise?"

Her younger self's words hit Kim like a freight train and she utterly failed to respond.

Unfortunately, Kimmie continued, "so, are you going to admit that this is all about your selfish wants and nothing to do with your ethics? Or, now that you have a rough idea of what happened to Shego every time you sent her to jail in the past, do I need to pose the question, based on how she gets treated, would you ever have considered breaking her out back then? Because I already know the answer to that one."

Kim did not want to answer that question, as she knew the truth would be damming. Prior to graduating high school, she never would have dreamed about breaking Shego out of jail, even if she had the knowledge she did now. She might have raised the issue with Betty, advocated that the prisoners in the supervillain jail be treated like human beings, but ultimately, never taken the nuclear option and broken Shego out because of her personal ethics. It was a different world back then; I was different, she finally replied, dodging actual admittance of the truth. I saw everything as black and white, but the world isn't like that, people aren't like that... Shego is not like that.

Seriously, is that the best defence you've got; the world isn't black and white? Kimmie said in contempt. Wake up and smell the coffee, Kim, Shego is a supervillain and you've set her loose. Any crimes she commits between now and being sent back to jail are on your hands!

Kim froze upon hearing that thought. Until now, she hadn't even considered that fact. If her rival decided to go out on a crime spree of any variety, she herself would be responsible. I never thought about that... she uttered in a shaky whisper.

Doy, Princess, Kimmie mocked. How could you have failed to consider that before you foolishly broke her out of jail?

...Because I was too focused on what I wanted from her... she finally admitted. After days of denying it, her younger self had finally found a way to tease the truth out of her. So focused on her own needs and trying to mask it behind issues of ethics, she had failed to grasp the wider ramifications of freeing Shego from jail.

Which is exactly why you need to put her back where she belongs, Kimmie insisted. You know where she'll be and when; 8 pm on Saturday at Spritzers. And because you broke her out in the first place, she won't be expecting a fight. Go there, take her down and call GJ in to take her back to...

No, Kim cut in firmly, there is no way I'm deliberately sending her back to jail. Besides, if I did, she'd probably tell GJ who broke her out in the first place and I can't take the chance that Betty might think her claim is worth investigating. I'm not exactly her best friend at the moment.

Then call Wade, Kimmie retorted sharply. I'm pretty sure he could cook up something that will wipe her memory of the past few days. You knock her out, zap her and then hand her over to GJ. She wakes up in her jail cell without any idea that she'd ever left it.

No, Kim reiterated firmly. Knowing what I know now, I can't purposefully send her back to jail to suffer the torment they put her through.

Ok, then answer this, what are you going to do next time Drakken tries to take over the world and you have to stop him?

A look of confusion spread across her face, what do you mean?

Kimmie rolled her eyes in disdain. "You just said you can't purposefully send Shego back to jail, so what are you going to do next time you have to stop Drakken? Are you purposefully going to let her escape?

The thought stunned Kim into silence. Even if she hadn't broken Shego out of jail for her own selfish reasons, the knowledge she had acquired after the visit to the prison would still have raised this issue, as she genuinely had a vehement disgust at how Captain Brooks treated her rival. It seemed this was one situation where ignorance would have been bliss. She could have continued with that last shred of black and white mentality and been perfectly content. Only now... There were times when I subconsciously let Shego and Drakken escape instead of taking them down and ensuring they were sent to jail, Kim finally said slowly. I realised that during our last meet up in Spritzers, when Shego asked the question about had I ever purposefully let a villain escape. In those instances, I made excuses not to go after them because subconsciously I was aware that life got less interesting while they were in jail. So long as I foil Drakken's plan, will it make a difference if I knowingly let them escape?

For a brief moment, Kim felt content with that solution. So long as each time she saved the world from the mad scientist and his latest crazy scheme, everything would be fine. In fact, if she'd genuinely been bothered about ensuring Drakken and Shego remained behind bars, she could have rocked up to his lair whenever she felt like it and taken them down... and prior to her junior prom discovered that Shego had been holding back on her and gotten her ass kicked out the back door. She let out a small laugh at that thought, my ego would have taken such a bruising if I'd tried to do that and discovered that I wasn't actually a match for Shego.

Her amusement was short-lived, as Kimmie quickly returned her attention back to the matter at hand by delivering the sting in the tail, "fair enough, you save the world and let them escape. But what if the police or GJ show up to apprehend them like they did at the volcano lair, are you going to intervene to ensure that Shego doesn't get carted off to jail?"

The memory of the GJ operatives surrounding Shego, roughly restraining her and then bodily throwing her into the back of the helicopter rose to the surface in Kim's mind. She had been horrified at how her rival had been treated at the time and even felt an urge to help her, only now, with the knowledge of what was going to happen to the green-skinned woman, both those feelings were amplified and she could not be certain that if the same scenario was to play out again, that she would be able to stand idly by and watch it unfold. I don't know, Kim finally replied, her internal voice sounding shaky. I'll cross that bridge if I ever come to it. This was by no stretch of the imagination an adequate response, except she could give no other, lest she want to open the can of worms that could throw her entire career as a hero into question.

"Prft," Kimmie scoffed, "fine, ignore that particular issue if you want and let's focus on the barebones fact that you're willing to let Shego waltz around and commit whatever crimes she pleases." While her younger self's tone had been scathing, it was nothing compared with that she used when she yelled at her with all the force of Mr Barkin booming in disbelief at someone's sheer idiocy, "by what bastardised logic can you think that's ok?"

Because I don't want her back in jail! Kim yelled inside her head, her fists having clenched and the right one pummelling the mattress in infuriation. She was seething now, teeth clenched as she took sharp breaths through them. She'd been putting off thinking about Shego since the volcano lair, but now the guilt she felt in regards to what she had done; personified inside her own head by the echo of her black and white younger self, was driving her true feelings to the surface. The seconds passed as Kim became wide-eyed; an expression of shock spreading across her face. ...I don't want Shego to go back to prison... While deep down she might have been aware of this truth in some fashion, she had already accepted that life was less interesting with her rival behind bars, consciously saying it to herself was nothing short of astonishing.

Kimmie then poked her with a metaphorical pointed stick, "well, aren't you being selfish all of a sudden."

So what if I am! Kim fired back, the floodgates having opened and all the feelings she'd been trying to suppress for months; the same ones that she had been brooding over in Spritzers that first night before Shego showed up and that were now intertwined with how her rival had made her feel, pouring forth. After everything I've done for the world over the past five years, I've earned the right to be selfish this one time. Over the past two years, I lost my boyfriend and best friend, my best girl now hates me and I have zero other friends, as none of them get me. A tear almost formed in the corner of each eye as she openly made that admission to herself. Hell, since I had that fight with Monique, none of them have even bothered to ask me to go out with them, just so they can use my credentials to get served alcohol. They don't care about me! Not to mention the relationship I had with both parents got laid to waste, put back together with sticky tape, then obliterated entirely. I'm only now just starting to build new relationships with them. Then there's the fact that I now know that I'm gay and the emotional wringer that revelation put me through. So, if the only good thing I've got is a screwed up relationship with my rival, whereby we test ourselves against each other whenever Drakken tries to take over the world and on a rare occasion meet for drinks, then yeah, I'm going to be selfish and let the one person I actually connect with keep their freedom. If she decides to commit a crime, I'll just have to make sure I'm there to stop her.

A look of derision formed on her younger self's face; a perfect illustration of the fact that she herself was still torn over the whole Shego subject. "You like her, don't you?" Kimmie replied, almost accusingly.

Of course I like her, she shot back, in no way afraid of admitting that. She's the one person who actually gets me. Despite the fact she'd been my nemesis for nearly three years, when she was Miss Go, I became close friends with her after only two days and by the time she reverted to being Shego, I'd had a closer relationship with her than any other friend I've ever had, excluding Ron. And my friendship with him took years to get to that level... if it were at all possible, I'd love to be her friend. That last part was uttered with a dollop of regret and sorrow. Ever since that chance encounter in Spritzers all those weeks ago, she'd been unable to re-bury the truth that she'd loved having the woman as a friend and would do almost anything to rekindle that relationship.

"Are you sure it isn't more than that?" Kimmie spat scornfully. "Or are you forgetting what happened back in Drakken's volcano lair?"

Kim's mind fell silent for a moment upon being prompted to recall what had occurred that day. Ever since the event, she'd been suppressing and hiding from the memory of it at every opportunity; allowing other things, like coming to terms with her sexuality, the state of affairs between herself and Ron and impromptu visits from both parents yesterday, to occupy her attention. However, now those problems had been dealt with to a point that they were no longer looming over her like a bank of dark clouds that threatened to pour icy rainwater down upon her. Making this singular issue the one that demanded her attention. And given she would be seeing Shego tomorrow night, she had no choice but to try and come to some understanding of what had happened between them in the volcano lair and how she felt about it. I remember, Kim replied, just as her mind flashed back to the incident.

It had been hot inside the volcano lair, but the air temperature had been nothing compared to the intensity of the green flames Shego had conjured up to separate them. And in her rage blinded state, Kim had been unable to see a way past them other than through them. Her rival had held her at bay while purposefully poking her in just the right way about her sexuality in order to trap her into a position where she could not refuse the challenge of kissing another woman. Only at no point during the brief pause her mind had taken to decide she would not walk away from the latest gauntlet that had been tossed at her feet, did she contemplate Shego stating that she do it right there and then with her. Naturally, she had refused point-blank, but after a few moments during which the woman had toyed with her, her rival had made it another challenge and so she could not have backed down.

Inside her memory, Kim's gaze met with Shego's piercing emerald eyes and saw them as clear as she would have had the raven-haired woman been lying in the bed beside her. While she could not speak for her rival, in her memory, it felt like they were drawn together. She recoiled at the recollection of Shego's arm wrapping around her waist. "So you don't try to back out, Princess," she heard the woman say and she could now smell the mint and eucalyptus from her shampoo… and she could recall a strange sense of security while within Shego's embrace; her own hands hypnotically finding hips. Mind racing and everything on hyper-alert, Kim knew she had been a nervous wreck when their lips had first touched. And then it melted away, all her fears and worries about what it might mean for her if she carried out the act and her reservation at kissing Shego of all people, gone; replaced by desire and lust like she had never known.

So absorbed in the memory of their first kiss, Kim's body forgot to breathe for a moment and so like both herself and Shego inside the volcano lair, ran out of air. She let out a loud gasp at the exact moment they had been forced to break off the kiss and gulped down a few mouthfuls of air. Ok, so that was... intense, she did not know whether that thought pertained only to the memory or not. However, like in the memory, Kim wanted more… needed more and so without hesitation, dived back in. Bodies intertwined, she recalled the make-out session with Shego in as much detail as she could, the same feelings of desire and lust pouring over her as they had done two weeks ago. When the generators blew and ripped her body from Shego's, she opened her eyes and knew one thing for certain; nothing had ever made her feel the way her rival had that day inside the volcano lair.

Burying her head in her hands and then shaking it, the thought, shit! quickly formed in Kim's mind. There was no way around it, no explanation to account for it, the cold hard fact of the matter was that Shego had awoken feelings inside her that neither Ron nor her vibrator, not even the last time she'd used it while thinking about the green-skinned woman, had ever been able to elicit from her. She tried to take a calming breath. Ok, so Shego managed to arouse feelings inside me that I'd never felt before, there's no point in me even trying to deny that. However, while the what is incontrovertible, the why is still very much up for debate… so, let's try to figure that out.

Much to her surprise and slight embarrassment, given how long she had been trying to avoid the subject, the first answer she came up with was both obvious and could explain things perfectly; given the fact that I'm gay and Shego was the first girl I ever kissed, it's no wonder that it felt so good.

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Kimmie said derisively. Her younger self, who had remained quiet ever since kicking off the whole memory about the volcano lair, seemingly still looking for needles with which to stab her.

Kim paused for a moment; slightly confused before the penny finally dropped; Lisa. Ok, so Shego was not my first kiss with another girl, despite what I said to her that day. However, I had no idea Lisa was about to kiss me and Mr Barkin interrupted it before I felt more than that tiny spark, which means it hardly provides a good comparison.

"True," Kimmie replied; a rare agreement. "However, that tiny spark was more than you got from a full-on make-out session with that boy Matt… more than you ever got with Ron."

Hey, I had plenty of sparks with Ron! Kim retorted defensively.

The image of her younger self looked pointedly at her, "really?"

Reluctantly, she shook her head. Fine, you're right, I never felt a genuine spark with Ron. I wanted to and at first, convinced myself that it would simply take time for us to properly move out of the friend zone. And given I'd suppressed the memory of that tiny spark with Lisa, I had no idea what I was supposed to feel and so started to delude myself that I'd felt something that, in reality, just wasn't there… at least now I know why and someday I'll be able to tell him and explain the real reason behind why things never worked out for us. She then focused her attention on Kimmie, however, that doesn't help matters. Bar that brief moment with Lisa, I've got nothing to compare how kissing another girl would feel in comparison to kissing Shego.

She was left to ponder in silence, for Kimmie did not respond. Unfortunately, all thoughts pertaining to Shego kept coming back to one key point; she's the only person who truly understands me. This thought was not new to her, in fact, she'd come to this realisation exactly one week after that first night they had shared in Spritzers. However, it had not held the same implication then that it did now. …do I like Shego? On having that thought the red warning lights started flashing and sirens blared inside her brain; as it went into full-on meltdown. While she'd had the thought before and forced it aside so she could focus on other things, when combined with the acceptance of the other admissions she'd slowly made regarding her rival over the past two months, those four words now held so much more weight and were too much for her to handle.

"No, no, no, no," Kim uttered quickly as she leapt out of bed. Shego's my rival; my nemesis, I can't possibly like her. Before she even knew what was happening, shewas in her wardrobe; pyjamas strewn across the floor in her wake and pulling on a pair of black joggers and a t-shirt. She'd managed to find and put on both socks and running shoes before she had the thought, but Shego certainly likes me, at least enough to want to sleep with me once. She left that thought back behind the closed doors of her wardrobe as she darted out of it, snatched a hair tie from the dresser on route to the hallway and had her hair tied back in a high ponytail by the time she reached the front door. All the while ignoring the protests from her lower back at having been forced to get out of bed at breakneck speed. Deactivating the apartment security, she hurried out, slamming the door shut on, and if those generators hadn't of blown up when they did, I think I would have had her out of that catsuit sooner rather than later… Kim did not hang around to wait for the elevator, instead, her feet hit the stairs and she thundered down them. She needed to get out; do something to distract her mind and the best way to do that, bar going out on a mission was training. Reaching the ground floor, she burst out of the apartment building, leaving behind the second half of her previous thought …I don't think I could have stopped myself and neither could Shego.

Kim had dealt with many problems over the past two weeks and felt better for it, however, it seemed that this one would not be felled so easily. No, this one was potentially so earth-shattering that she couldn't even face it at the moment. For she already knew that the ramifications of it could be apocalyptic.

##

In a humid summer drizzle, Kim had run for several miles, pounding her feet harder into the tarmac every time her brain had strayed onto the forbidden subject of Shego. Had she not left in such a hurry, she would have taken her music player to try and help drown out the unwanted thoughts and some money so she could buy a drink when she had inevitable become thirsty. She'd been forced to cash in a favour just so she could get a few bottles of water. Her lower back had twinged on multiple occasions and she had been thankful for the distraction. Anything that took her mind away from her rival had been welcome that day.

When she had eventually become thoroughly soaked from a combination of sweat and the rain, she'd headed back home, taken a hot shower, grabbed a quick breakfast and put a new set of training gear on. Turning her CD player volume up loud, she'd played album after album as she'd worked out in the third bedroom, which she'd installed a wooden floor and a Wavemaster in, so she could practice her techniques. She'd pushed herself until the point that she'd nearly keeled over from exhaustion somewhere near late afternoon. She'd gone for a long soak in the tub afterwards, then slipped on her pyjamas and gone to her workroom to do some long-overdue work on her website. While not the most fun activity, it had required a good deal of concentration and so kept her mind away from Shego.

After dinner she'd snuggled up on the sofa with some apple sours and lemonade and a bucket of popcorn and watched both Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge; two of her favourite romantic tragedies. And for the first time, realised why she'd never seen why all the girls had fawned over the male leads; she had eyes only for the females. She'd gone to bed once the second one had finished.

Kim lay under the light summer duvet, eyes shut and willing herself to sleep. Except it was not happening. The room temperature was perfect, the bed recently laundered, the pyjamas fresh from her wardrobe and her pillows comfortable, yet sleep eluded her.

"So, what are you going to do about Shego?"

Kim groaned when the voice of her younger self slipped into her mind. Nothing, now leave me alone. She rolled over, as though she could turn her back on her own mind.

Needless to say, it didn't work. "Hmm, that could be problematic. Aren't you supposed to be meeting her at Spritzers in less than twenty-four hours?"

Shit! Kim cursed, having driven that particular thought from her brain throughout the course of the day. Prior to that morning, she'd been anticipating her next meeting with Shego, but with a slight undertone of apprehension. Now the anticipation had gone, the apprehension been ramped up and a new undertone of dread begun to set in. What on earth was she going to do?

"The option to take her down and send her green ass back to prison is still on the table," Kimmie said, in the same optimistic tone that she knew all too well; the one she herself had often used on her parents when she was trying to convince one or the other to let her do something they'd already put the kybosh on.

That tone never worked on mom and dad, so isn't going to work on me, Kim replied flatly. I am not sending Shego back to jail.

The image of Kimmie inside her mind, appropriately dressed in her old lavender pyjama trousers and vest with the green heart on them, huffed. "Fine, you like her as a friend, you already admitted as much, so don't even think about trying to deny that, is that all you like her as?"

Of course that's all I like her as! Kim replied quickly and far too firmly.

"Sure about that?" Kimmie mocked, her lips formed into a crooked smile that did not suit those soft features.

Yes!

An image formed in Kim's mind of the inside of the Sloth and the dark highway that spread out before her. Hands on the wheel, she could see the white gloves and sleeves of her battle suit. What the, she began to think, wondering why her mind was showing her a random memory of her driving at night. Only out of the corner of her eye, she saw Shego sitting in the passenger seat and starting to undress.

"Oh no! No, no, no!" Kim yelled and sat bolt upright, forcing the image from her mind. "I'm not going there."

"Too, late, Princess," Kimmie mocked. "You already did go there. You sneaked more than just a little peek at her undressing."

Unable to stop herself, Kim saw Shego strip out of her orange jumpsuit, pull the white t-shirt over her head and then unhook the unflattering prison-issue bra; freeing her green breasts. Oh, holy crap! She screwed up her eyes, but could not prevent herself from seeing the darker green skin of her rival's nipples and she knew it was not simply her mind filling in a blank. I was…

"You were checking her out," Kimmie said devilishly. "Don't try and deny it."

I wasn't… I… she stammered, failing to come up with any reason for why she had been looking at Shego other than for the purpose of checking her out. Just because I was checking her out, doesn't mean that I like her, Kim finally blurted out.

A sly smile formed on her younger self's face, "I never said it did. But it's odd that you would immediately leap to that defence. Unless of course you already knew it was true."

It's not true… it can't be true, Kim protested, before yelling, you're enjoying this, aren't you?

"Why might I be enjoying you suffering because of your own illicit thoughts?" Kimmie said, in feigned contemplation. "Maybe it's because I amyou and you are clearly not happy with the decisions you have made and so are forcing yourself to suffer because of it. Now, do the right thing and put that villain back where she belongs. I guarantee you'll sleep like a baby once you do."

No, Kim uttered, trying to sound resolute on her decision. I'm not going to send Shego back to jail, end of story. So, instead of focusing on the one thing I'm not going to do, why don't you try helping me figure out what I am going to do about her. Remember, you're just some random part of my head that's serving as my devil's advocate. So, if I decide to focus on a different part of the Shego problem and not on sending her back to jail, you have to change track.

Kimmie let out a high-pitched laugh that in no uncertain terms told her that the anthropomorphic personification of her younger self did not have to do any such thing, nevertheless, said, "you're the boss, Princess. So, why were you checking her out?"

It came as somewhat of a relief to Kim that they'd returned to the subject that she'd been avoiding since six am. An indication of just how much worse going back to trudging through the minefield of how she felt in regards to the serious crime she'd committed was. Ok, she breathed, it was the first opportunity I'd had since discovering that I'm gay to look at another woman naked. That glance was purely for curiosity's sake.

"Yeah, and I'm Dr Drakken and I'm going to, TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Kimmie replied, her voice mimicking that of the mad scientist when she made the declaration for world domination.

The sheer ludicrousness of what her younger self had just said proved more than enough for Kim to concede the point. Shego is a very… she paused, not quite knowing how to phrase her sentence in a way that wouldn't immediately be misconstrued, …a very beautiful woman. I don't need to be gay to admit that.

"You know a lot of people wouldn't give her a second glance because of her green skin tone."

That's because most people are so fixated on this idea of beauty that the fashion industry shovels down their throats, Kim bit back defensively.

Kimmie snorted, "like you've never bought into what the fashion industry tells you to. Or is that not an entire wardrobe full of designer clothing?"

She sighed, yeah, and how much of it do I actually wear? While I don't think I own anything that isn't a designer brand, if it's not mission outfits, training gear or pyjamas, I rarely wear it. And even when I'm not wearing one of the above, how often is it anything other than jeans, t-shirt and hoodie?

"I wasn't going to say anything, but girl you have lost your fashion sense of late," Kimmie pointed out with displeasure.

Let's not go there, Kim uttered sombrely, deciding she didn't want to open up yet another can of worms.

"You're still the boss, Princess. So, Shego's beautiful now and you're defending her skin tone. I can't say I would have said that about her two years ago."

Only because I never stopped to think about it. Again, even if I was genuinely straight, I can still appreciate the fact that she's a beautiful woman.

"But it's more than that, isn't it?" Kimmie probed.

Yes, no, maybe… I don't know… Kim could feel the urge to shoot out of bed and bolt for another run, but this time managed to remain under the covers.

"Shall I repeat the question?"

No, she breathed; trying to steady herself. Shego is beautiful and made me feel something I'd never felt before when we made out… but she's Shego! Even if I did like her, which I'm not saying I do, there could never be anything between us.

"So, it's ok for the two of you to be friends, but not okay for there to either be benefits or for the two of you to be girlfriends."

Having, she struggled to say the word, benefits, with Shego or being her girlfriend is completely different from just being her friend. Besides, she didn't even want to be my friend before…

"…no, she just wanted to fuck you," Kimmie cut in sharply. "Don't try peddling any crap about her not wanting something more with you, just because she turned you down on the friend front. Or do you need a little reminder?"

Kim did not get the chance to reply before Shego's words from their disastrous second night in Spritzers filled her mind, "I thought you were someone who knew not to mess with fire unless you were serious about learning how to eat it." While the metaphor on the night had boiled down to her rival thinking Kim and asked her out on a date, the euphemism had been clear; Shego had wanted to sleep with her.

Kim shook her head. She'd hoped to simply brush that little fact under the rug, as it would have made the situation so much easier to handle. She could have taken the attitude that Shego would never want anything with her and left it at that; case closed. Only her rival had made her intentions clear enough for Kim to understand. A lot has happened since that night… I've no idea where Shego even stands on the issue right now. In fact, she was the one who explicitly said that tomorrow is not supposed to be a date.

"That doesn't mean you get to weasel your way out of figuring out how you feel."

I don't know how I feel, Kim cried out in frustration; flopping back to the mattress. So much has happened so quickly since the volcano lair that I have no idea what to think. Especially given I just broke her out of prison. And why does it need to be something anyway? Can't I just go out with her tomorrow, ask for her advice and have a good time?

"Since when are things ever that easy between you and Shego?" Kimmie snorted. "If you don't go in there with you mind sorted and your stall properly laid out from the get-go, you're going to end up with the exact same disaster as last time."

Or maybe that's exactly why things went so horribly wrong last time, Kim countered. We were both set in our own heads over what we wanted to happen and thought we were being perfectly clear on the subject. I'm with Shego on this one; it's just drinks and a conversation, maybe some food. I'm not looking for anything else, so if something unsuspecting happens, it won't scupper any ideas I have about the evening, as there won't be any for it to scupper.

"Sounds to me like you're going out on a mission without a plan," Kimmie scoffed.

I work best when I'm improvising, Kim insisted. I can't even attempt to plan in advance how I'm going to handle Shego on a mission, so why should this be any different?

Her younger self shook its non-existent head. "If this blows up in a sea of green flames, don't say I didn't warn you."

It's a good thing Shego doesn't have her glow then, Kim shot back by way of a parting remark, however, it didn't really matter. While she'd perhaps cheated her way out of the situation by somehow rationalising why she shouldn't figure out how she felt, it had at least prevented Armageddon. And if that allowed her to sleep tonight and got her through until she was sitting in front of Shego in Spritzers, she'd take it. Rolling onto her side, Kim closed her eyes. She fell asleep within fifteen minutes.