Thor knew he probably needed to sleep as much as possible, but it was hard.
It was the middle of the night, he had his arms wrapped around Sif and was honestly afraid of letting go.
Memories floated through Thor. The people who were gone and was never going to come back! Both his father and mother, they were gone forever.
And he had been so sure that Loki had been gone. How many times had he almost lost Loki?
And now… Thor had someone else he didn't want to loose. The woman in his tight embrace and the child resting inside of her womb.
What if something happened to them? What if they died. The thought was terrifying to Thor and he could only be so relieved that the always stubborn Sif had agreed to guard Loki instead of going to battle.
Against Hela they had been outmatched. She would have killed them and Thanos… He wouldn't hesitate to kill… Everything.
Thor squinted his eyes shut as he held Sif's sleeping frame tight.
Please… not another please… Please… Please…
"Thor…" A whisper sounded, a male voice. "Thor can you hear me?"
Thor gasped as he sat up. "Lo.. Loki?" he asked.
"Apologize, I gathered enough energy to astral project, but making myself visible is so straining." Sounded Lokis voice though it was barely a whisper, all though as he spoke, something became visible. All though it looked more like a see through shadow in green and Thor gasped as he let go of Sif so he could slowly sit up.
"Loki… You are better." Thor gasped. "Thank the norns."
Loki nodded. "I regain enough strenght for at least this. You got the weapon?" he asked.
"I did." Thor assured. "Storm breaker is here." he gestured to the foot end of the bed where the big axe was leaning up
Loki nodded. "Good… Tomorrow Thanos will arrive. Around noon."
Thor gasped then he swallowed. "I understand. We are ready." he assured.
"No. You are not." Loki replied. "Sadly there is nothing else I can do to help. You have to make due with what you got."
"I… I understand." Thor stated.
"No Thor! You don't!" Loki lectured. "In recent years you have grown soft. You have grown to love a lot of beings from many different worlds. Humans, Jotunns, Asgardians. I've seen it. You no longer desire to spread hurt. You hesitate before killing. Clearly you are now trying to avoid killing."
"I…" Thor wet his lip. "I was wrong back then!" he said. "What I did, what I thought. It wasn't right!"
"Perhaps." Loki stated. "But you must lay that aside in this battle. You can not hesitate. Do you understand me. They will kill you." he said.
Thors eyes widened.
"If you get a shot, you must go for the kill. Do not try something noble going for the leg or arm. You must be uncompromising and go for the ultimate end without hesitation!" Loki informed.
Thors eyes were wide again as his body was shaking.
"These people, they are not like Asgardians or Jotunns. They do not have that same sense of honour that we do. They justify their killing with their so called mission, but it's just that. A flimsy excuse because they like killing. They love watching the result of their destruction, it makes them feel powerful. They do not create, they only destroy and leave their destroyed mess's behind as they just move on to the next one. Thanos and his children or not someone you can reason with or even bond with like the Jotunns. This will be kill or be killed. Do not be killed Thor."
"I… I understand." Thor hung his hand and he swallowed.
"Something wrong Thor?" Loki asked.
Thor swallowed. "Hela…" he whispered. "I killed her as well, I still see it at night. Her face as I penetrated her heart. I feel it, her warm blood on my face and hands… She was my sister. Even if I never got to know her. And I killed her…. And now. I have to kill yet again."
There was silence, absolute silence. Then Thor looked up, and he saw sympathy in Lokis eyes.
It startled Thor, he honestly hadn't really counted on that. Yet there it was.
"Thor… You must win this fight. And you must survive." Loki stated. "Without you. Asgard will be wither and vanish. Asgard needs you."
"Do they?" Thor asked. "Even if I perish. There will be you Loki." he pointed out. "You have saved Asgard over and over. You proved you weren't a bad king. And that you will do what it takes to protect Asgard."
If Loki was flattered he didn't show it, he looked harshly at Thor.
"No. Thor." Loki replied. "Now I finally understand. It must be you."
"Why?" Thor asked.
"Because." Loki said. "You are willing to put your own wants aside for Asgard. You do not want to be King. I see it… You want to be free like you were. Roaming around on earth and be yourself. You do not desire the throne, not any more. And that is why it has to be you."
Thor swallowed.
"I'm selfish Thor." Loki laughed a hollow laughter. "I'll always put myself first."
"That's not true!" Thor gasped. "You came to Asgards aid saving them. You destroyed your body saving all of us. You risked your conscious self to bring me stormbreaker!"
"Yes…" Loki replied. "I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to show that I could… I wanted you to survive because I didn't want to be alone… I'm scared of Thanos. I don't want to live in fear."
Thor swallowed. "For the record I disagree." he stated. "I don't think all of those actions are the actions of a selfish person."
Loki shrugged. "Deep down we are all a little selfish aren't we?" he asked then he turned to him. "Thor… what-ever you do. Don't be a hero. Don't hesitate or try to have mercy. If you get the shot, it will probably be the only one you got. Go for the kill. You must."
Thor sucked in a breath. Then he nodded, a new determination coming over his one eye. "I am Thor. The king of Asgard. I have a responsibility! To my people and the nine realms. This is not about me but about all of them. I understand."
Loki nodded. "Good…" and with that, his misty figure faded away.
Thor breathed heavily, in and out. Then he laid down, wrapped his arms around Sif's figure and pulled her in, burried his nose into heir long dark hair, breathing in the scent of rough soap.
"Thor…" Sif's voice sounded.
"I'm sorry we woke you." Thor whispered.
"No…" Sif turned around so they were now face to face. "It's okay." she said as she reached out a hand touching his cheek. "For ones… I agree with him. Fully." she swallowed, her eyes wet. "Please Thor. Don't let your mercy or kindness kill you. Survive… I am here for you my love. Always."
Thor closed his eyes, feeling Sif's gentle hand on his cheek.
Slowly Sif managed to turn Thor around so she was now behind him. Having a warm arm around Thors body and with her other hand she gently stroked his hair and Thor sighed deeply.
And Sif kept holding the big blond, kept gently stroking his hair before finally Thors breaths became even and even then Sif did not let go as she laid down, holding Thor in her arms before she to drifted back to sleep.
