Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine

Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.


Steve held up his hand to stop her, "I, uh, I have one more gift for you." There was a knock at the door and Catherine stopped breathing. Gently, he pushed her towards the door. "Merry Christmas, Cath. I got your six."

Placing her hand on the doorknob and giving it a turn was an out of body experience. Catherine barely got the door open before tears flooded her eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Princess."

Catherine covered her mouth. She didn't dare blink. Afraid that if she did, he would disappear. The single syllable that escaped her mouth was a whisper.

"Jude."

She felt Steve's hand on her back, gently propelling her forward while he guarded her six.

Jude's gaze momentarily left Catherine's shell-shocked face as he reached around her and firmly shook Steve's hand. Steve gave her another nudge towards Jude. "Go on." He quietly urged.

Catherine took two tentative steps towards him. Jude met her halfway, scooping her up in his big, burley arms and squeezing the life out of her. "Missed you." He murmured. "God, I missed you so much."

She shook her head as she wiped the tears off her cheek, "I don't…. I don't understand." Catherine looked back and forth between Jude and Steve. "How…."

"Charming, here, tracked me down." Jude grinned. "The op I got put on before you got out went sideways. Ended up being embedded with my field agent for a while." He chuckled, "You never told me your boy was tight with Director Haspel."

Catherine's eyes widened as she looked back at Steve, "You called Haspel?"

"Making a phone call was the least I could do." He shrugged.

Shelby peered out from behind Catherine's legs at the giant, mammoth of a man in the doorway. Jude gave her a smile and a wink and she was smitten. Realizing that the big man wasn't a threat, Shelby ran to him and threw her arms up, demanding all of his love and affection immediately. Jude scooped her up and propped her up on his hip, "Hey there, Little Princess. You must be Shelby Jo."

Catherine could barely form words. Jude was here. Jude was standing in her kitchen. Jude was holding her and Steve's daughter. "How do you-"

"We've talked." Steve cut in. Truthfully, his conversation with Jude hadn't just been for Catherine's sake. He needed a little peace of mind before he brought another man back into her life. Jude was a good guy, he had decided. If there was a stranger he would trust with his life, it would likely be Jude Beckett. "But, uh, if we don't eat breakfast and open p-r-e-s-e-n-t-s, Shelbs might die."

Jude chuckled and closed the door behind him, "What, uh, what can I help with, man?"

Catherine stood in the kitchen and watched in awe as Jude stepped up and helped Steve finish loading the table with the breakfast they had prepared. The boys joked around like old friends, ribbing each other for their respective careers in the Navy and the Marines. When Jude quipped about Doris, Catherine was sure it would strike a nerve with Steve, but instead, he just laughed.


They crowded around the table and gorged themselves on waffles and bacon. Jude watched with a grin on his face as Shelby turned the perfectly wrapped presents into shreds of confetti. Catherine sat with Will in her lap and helped him tear through the festive paper around his gifts.

After all the excitement of the morning, Steve announced that he was going to take Shelby out on a trail ride while Catherine put Will down for a nap. She quietly pulled the door to the kids' room closed and tiptoed into the living room.

"So this is it, huh?" Jude stood in front of the window seat she loved so much, "This is the ranch?"

"Yeah." Catherine eased into the room and stood beside him, admiring the view. "You should've seen it before Steve got the contractors out here… It was a mess. Remember me telling you about it? January out here and there was a big ass hole in the side of the house from an RPG and all we had covering it that first night was a tarp."

Jude smiled down at her, "So you really didn't know I was coming?" They'd done the awkward small talk through breakfast, but when Steve took Shelby out, he knew that he was giving him and Catherine a little space to catch up.

Catherine shook her head, "I had no idea. I, um… I knew Steve had started looking for you. We'd both been looking for a while."

"You know me. I'm not easily found when I don't want to be."

She sunk down into the window seat and patted the space beside her, "So what the hell, Beckett? What happened?"

Jude sighed, "I re-upped my contract at the beginning of 2018. I had a feeling you'd retire after yours ended. Doris told me she was gonna try to convince you to get out. But you know, I told you I was gonna stay in until you were done. Wanted you to always have someone on your side, looking out for you."

"So are you just on R and R after your op?"

He shook his head, "I'm out. Turned in my paperwork as soon as I got stateside."

Catherine let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. "Wow. So you're like… done done." She looked out across the valley, "So what's next for you?"

Jude grinned, "I've got a couple job offers lined up. Might sell the cabin and move out west."

"Out west?"

"Like… Really west."

The corner of her mouth flickered with a smile before it turned into a full on grin, "Wait, you mean like…"

"Charming thought I might be a good fit for his task force."

Catherine shook her head, "Steve retired after we got married. He works for the V.A. now."

Jude nodded, "I know. But he'd heard through the grapevine that they were gonna have some turnover and needed a warm body."

"You'll be bored in a week. It's not like The Company."

He grinned, "I'm looking to slow down, Princess. If Five-0 isn't a good fit, I might just set up shop on my own and do a little private security contracting. Might become one of those guys that runs active shooter training seminars for corporate retreats and team building. The, uh, the family life looks pretty good." He looked around the mountain of wrapping paper and children's toys that were strewn about. "You know, once upon a time I thought maybe it'd be you and me."

She blushed and laughed, "Yeah, me too. We just never quite got it right."

"You got it right with Charming." Jude nodded his head out the window to where Steve was helping Shelby make a snowman. "He's a good man."

Catherine giggled, "So, what? Are you two best friends now?"

Jude's hearty laugh rumbled the window pane, "Apparently he found me in some surveillance photos. Son of a bitch is pretty damn good. He called Haspel. Got in touch with my handler who called up my team lead - basically raised hell until someone put him through to me in the field. Once I finished up at Langley, he gave me another call. Invited me out here for Christmas."

"So you guys have talked?"

"Yeah." Jude leaned back against the window and crossed his arms, "He wanted to make sure me coming around wouldn't hurt you. I respect that. Probably wanted to make sure I wasn't gonna make a move on you."

"Married mother of two. I'm locked down." She laughed.

Jude stared wistfully out the window, "I'm sorry I missed it - your and Charming's big day. You know I would've been there. Same with Decker and Marshall."

She nodded, "I never doubted it."

"And what happened with Coen. I heard bits and pieces through the grapevine." He shook his head as the tic in his jaw flared, "And Doris..."

"You miss her?"

Jude sighed, "Yeah. I, uh… I do."

Catherine nodded, "Me too." She gazed out the window at Steve and Shelby, who was the spitting image of her grandmother- her copper hair blazing against the white snow. "We all knew her so differently."

"That's who you named her after, right? Shelby, after Shelburne."

"Yeah." Catherine blew out a breath and forced herself out of the solemn moment, "So, are you seeing anyone? Still living the unattached bachelor life? Beautiful women on sandy beaches in some corner of the world now that you're on a permanent vacation?"

Jude shrugged, "Like I said. I'm looking to slow down."

Catherine reached out and laid her hand on his knee, "It's okay to move on, you know. Beth would want you to be happy."


"Really. You're gonna stay in tonight?" Catherine doused her loose waves with another layer of hairspray.

Jude coughed as he lingered in the doorway of the bathroom and waved the cloud of aerosol away from his face. "Yeah, I told you. Just gonna hang out here. Watch a movie or two, and uh, ring in the new year solo and make sure you get back okay." Catherine set the can of hairspray down on the bathroom sink and primped her hair. "You're gonna knock him dead, Princess." Jude moved to stand behind her at the mirror and let his hands linger on her waist. "Shame this dress is getting wasted on a complete asshat."

Catherine laughed as she smoothed her hands down the champagne colored gown, "Donovan is not an asshat."

"Princess." Jude leaned down and pushed her hair to one side, "His name is Donovan. Strike one. He sends a car for you instead of picking you up like a man. Strike two."

She rolled her eyes, "I never said it was a love connection."

"Well, you're not hooking up with him, so what is it then?" Jude took the gold anchor necklace from her hands and hooked it around her neck, his hands lingering on her neck.

Catherine smirked, "Who said I'm not hooking up with him?"

Jude chuckled, "I can tell."

"Oh really?"

"Ninety percent of the time, you hang out with me after you go out with him."

She turned to face him and crossed her arms, "And what about the other ten?"

He put his thumb on her chin and his index finger underneath, tipping her chin up, "The other ten you think about this." Jude laid a kiss on her so passionate that angels would cry. He pulled away abruptly and handed her the tube of lipstick from the vanity. "You can fix that in the car since he won't see you 'til D.C.." He grinned as he wiped her lipstick off his mouth with the back of his hand.


"Murph, Why are we stopping?" Catherine asked the driver as he pulled to the curb, "I thought this thing was at the Capitol."

Murphy, the hired driver that often picked Catherine up to take her to D.C. turned and offered a shrug, "Senator Taylor requested that I bring you here so that you can get in his car and make an entrance with him at the gala."

Catherine wrinkled her nose, "Seriously? Why didn't he just ride to my house in the first place with you?"

Murphy chuckled, "You don't want to know my opinion, ma'am."

Catherine leaned forward, "Humor me."

The wrinkles on Murphy's face rearranged as he gave her a kind smile, "Off the record?"

"I'm good at keeping secrets."

He grinned, "He's a dick."

Catherine laughed as he got out and opened her door, "I appreciate your honesty, Murph."

Murphy offered his hand and helped her out, "You look lovely, Miss Catherine. Have a good evening."

She beamed and gave the old man a kiss on the cheek, "Happy New Year." Catherine walked down to the waiting car and slid in beside Donovan. "Hey, you."

Donovan cleared his throat and grinned, "You look nice." He studied her with a discerning eye, "The Navy necklace is a nice touch. You're going to turn heads tonight."

Catherine blushed, "Um, thanks. You don't look too bad yourself." She looked out the window as the car pulled away from the curb, "So what's this thing we're going to?"

"Charity gala hosted by Senator Harris and her husband." Donovan slipped his arm around her shoulders, "I'm glad you were able to make it." He reached over, picked up her hand, and kissed it, "You're the best date I could have hoped for."

She laughed softly, "You look nervous."

Donovan shrugged sheepishly, "It's an important night for me, but I'm relieved to have you on my arm."

Not the flattery she was expecting. Catherine offered a curt smile, "It'll be great." The driver knocked on the door before opening it. Donovan got out and offered his hand to Catherine. He led her up the steps to the Capitol and lined up outside. Catherine tugged her shawl tighter around her shoulders as the December wind nipped at her skin. "What are we waiting for?"

"Press line."

Catherine froze, "Press as in photographers?"

"Of course. That's what all these charity events are about. Optics are everything."

She slipped her hand around his bicep and whispered, "Donovan, you're forgetting that in my line of work, NOT being seen is incredibly important."

She noticed the slight gritting of his teeth. The way his fingers jolted. The tension running through his hand as it pressed against the small of her back, leading her closer to the row of journalists. "Catherine, you haven't let me post your photo on social media once. My publicist would have a heart attack if we skipped the press line."

"I'm a very private person, Donovan."

"Smile pretty for the cameras, darling."


Who are you wearing? What's your name? How does it feel to be on the arm of one of the country's most prominent senators?

Who gives a fuck. None of your damn business. And shitty as hell. He's a douchebag.

Those were the answers Catherine wanted to give to the line of vultures and snakes that were roped in away from the carpet, but Donovan had answered for her.

"Doesn't she look stunning in Carolina Herrera? I'm a lucky man, and of course we exclusively support American designers."

Bullshit. You're wearing an Italian suit.

"This is Lieutenant Catherine Rollins. A Navy combat veteran and the most beautiful woman you'll see here tonight."

Why the fuck did he call her a 'Navy combat veteran'?

"I'm the lucky one. I thought she would never give me the time of day. I'm not worthy of this woman who fought so valiantly for our great nation."

Okay, so most of that was true, but the rest was just public relations drivel and it was making her sick. The vultures behind the rope, however, were eating out of his hand. She had to admit, Donovan was a great manipulator. That man could serve a shit sandwich with a smile and they would gobble it down and ask for seconds.

He led her into the gala and, thankfully, away from the pit of vipers that he seemed to enjoy enchanting.

That's all that politicians were, she decided. Snake charmers. The real power lies with the snake, but they're too entranced to strike.

"You did great." He grinned. "They loved you."

Catherine glanced around before lowering her voice, "You answered for me."

Donovan shrugged as he surveyed the room, "It's important that the right message is conveyed."

She leveled him a stern look, "And what do you think my answers would have been?"

"You said it yourself. You're a private person." He began to lead her through the crowd, "Now just keep smiling and have a good time."

Catherine spotted the bar. Damn right she was going to have a good time. "I'm going to go get a drink." She made a beeline for the bar and nearly begged the bartender for a drink. Whiskey. Straight up. There was no need for frills or ice. Whiskey in a cup. Any cup will do. She was going to down it in one gulp and then have another. Catherine barely had time to wrap her hand around the glass when another hand slid in and pushed it away.

"Sir, a glass of champagne for my date."

She raised an eyebrow at Donovan, "Oh, I'm fine. I already got a drink." She made another move for the whiskey, but his hand intercepted hers.

He laced their fingers together and brought them to his mouth, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "Ladies drink champagne." He scolded. "You're with me, Catherine. I have an image to maintain."

She spotted no less than eight objects she could kill him with that were within arm's reach. The cocktail shaker would be messy, but worth it. He'd suffer.

She plastered on a smile and reached for the champagne that he had requested on her behalf. "Of course." Her other hand had already grabbed the whiskey. Catherine downed it in one gulp. It was surprisingly smooth. Then again, it was top shelf liquor. She slid the glass back to the bartender with a wink. Lifting the champagne glass to her mouth, she smiled sweetly, "Something you should know, Senator." Her hand slid down his lapel as she leaned in, "Because I was raised to be a lady, I know which fork to use when I'm at a formal dinner. Because I'm a lady in the CIA, I know what artery to stick that fork in so that you'll bleed out in under a minute." Donovan paled as she sipped her champagne. Catherine snaked her arm around his and turned them away from the bar, "You know, Senator, you'd be prettier if you smiled."


It wasn't the pictures taken at the press line that bothered her. Jude would have any trace of those scrubbed from the internet within minutes of them hitting. It was that Donovan had very clearly disregarded her request for personal privacy.

It wasn't that he had brought her a glass of champagne. It was that he had told her how a lady should act. Maybe she had been a little too busy fighting the Taliban to be worried about the cotillion lessons her mother had dragged her to as a girl. Catherine snorted. That's probably something Steve would have said. She drank her whiskey like a fucking lady. And damn, did it taste good.

It wasn't that he kept introducing her to politicians as Lieutenant Catherine Rollins - she was proud of her military service. It was that it had become increasingly clear that she was a pawn in his game. She was what he needed to secure political capital. The democrat senator needed a pro-second amendment woman on his arm to make his gun control bill a little less atrocious to his right-wing counterparts. Her CIA status gave him more sway in the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence.

As she had heard from two women in the bathroom that she didn't know, Catherine's beauty and demure disposition made him more appealing to voters. Catherine and Donovan were nothing more than two people who formerly enjoyed spending time together. They weren't a couple by any stretch of the imagination. But as he would say, "optics are everything." Voters tended to poll more positively to candidates who weren't single.

That's all she was. A pawn.

How had she not seen it before now?


Catherine didn't have the luxury of time that a good vendetta required. The clock had struck midnight and her carriage was about to turn back into a pumpkin. Donovan gave her a chaste kiss as the confetti fell - in front of the cameras, of course. And like she had told him at the bar, she was a lady. And you know what ladies do best?

They remember every single time they have ever been wronged, plaster on a smile, and store that shit up for the perfect moment.

She let out a sigh of relief as Murphy pulled the car into her driveway. Donovan, of course, had stayed in D.C.. "I'll wait until you get inside, Miss Catherine. And I'll see you next time."

Murphy was sweet. She'd miss him more than Donovan. Granted, that wasn't saying much. "This is probably the last time, Murph." She reached around and patted his arm, "Thanks for everything." Catherine gave Murphy a wave as she unlocked her door and walked inside. "Jude?" She peeled her shoes off and tossed them by the door.

Jude sauntered down the hall, "Back already?" He glanced at his watch, "It's only half past one."

"I need a favor."

"Anything."

A wicked smile curled up on her mouth, "Ruin him."


Journal #10

Manassas, VA - New Years Day 2018

The good thing about being in the CIA is that you acquire a certain set of skills. Now, I'm not talking Liam Neeson saving his kidnapped daughter kind of skills. (But I mean… we can do that too.)

Jude's set of skills is pretty much everything. My set of skills is apparently being naive and blind to someone's true colors. Good thing he's here and isn't thrown off in the slightest by my slow internet speed.

Spending New Year's with Jude is a thousand times better than that gala with he who shall not be named. If I never had to see that man's face again, I'd be a happy woman. Jude has already scrubbed all traces of me from the internet. Now, he's digging up dirt on the dear Senator.

Maybe this isn't how New Years should be spent. Maybe I should ask if Jude wants to talk about Beth. He doesn't seem like he does. The anniversary of her death was on the 30th and he hasn't said anything about it. I can tell he's a little sad. He has this look about him. But for now, he's distracted and distractions are sometimes a good thing.

I saw a picture of her the other day. Jude left his wallet at my place and it fell out. He looked smitten with her. Pixie was right. She couldn't have been more than five foot three or five foot four. She barely came up to his waist. Her hair was a pretty blonde and she had the same thousand watt smile he did. They looked perfect for each other.

I think Jude is a lot like Steve. He has this protective side that is a result of loss. He couldn't save Beth, so he has to save everyone else. I guess he's a lot like me too. I did that after Billy died. The thing is, there's no amount of saving that could make up for love that was lost.


Catherine reached over and placed her small hand on top of his, "Hey." She soothed. "Beth would want you to be happy."


AUTHOR'S NOTE

Leave your reactions in the reviews, loves!

I'm seriously sorry for not uploading on Monday. I had some personal things go down and wasn't in the headspace to write Cath and Jude's reunion. This was a meaningful chapter to me and I wanted to give it my best effort.

Second, I'm going to tell you a story.

Once upon a time, the world went into a pandemic, my life got put on pause, and my job froze. So I started writing and uploading to FanFiction. It was fun. It was a great hobby and kept me occupied during a very confusing and disheartening time. Here's the thing. I never told my husband.

I wrote "Mumbai", "O'ahu", "Morocco", and "Throwing Darts" without him knowing. (That's a lot of words, guys.)

Then, we went on vacation and I finally came clean. I knew I was going to start Pehea and knew I couldn't keep this one a secret- writing this freaking saga has been a time consuming undertaking. So I told him.

For months, he's been so incredibly supportive of this incredibly weird hobby I have. And now- months later- Mr. Mags has begun reading "Throwing Darts". This is the first time he's read anything I've written. (Which is kind of nerve wracking for me!)

SO! Leave some love for Mr. Mags and I'll make sure he sees it! I couldn't have written this thing without his support and encouragement!

XO,

-Mags-


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