Rory had to postpone her sessions with Cara for that week, seeing her first on Sunday. The week was looking hectic enough as it was. While Emily visited her own friends Rory had her first class that semester and a meeting with her supervisor right after. Professor Herman De Vries was an interesting character. The slim man in his 60s wore a goatee and the collar and cuffs of his dark grey dress shirt revealed hints of his tattoos.
"So Rory, I assume, it is alright that I call you by your first name. As you probably have already figured, this semester is going to be a vital starting point for your own thesis research. I've read your proposal and your follow up, you did in class. And I see you've already passed the Qualitative research course. Altogether things are looking pretty good. Do you have any questions yourself, before we go over your interview questions," he said, speaking with a thick Dutch accent.
"There actually is. I will need to conduct interviews both in London and New York, but ever since the original proposal my relationship to the potential subjects, especially in New York, has somewhat changed and I am a little worried how that might affect the outcome," she explained.
"What is this new situation exactly?" he asked, leaning against his desk.
"I am engaged to one of the owners of the company, and I am fairly certain the news has travelled," she explained.
"That certainly can play a role. There is always the option of hiring professional interviewers to do this on your behalf, but preferably, as their qualification and dedication can vary, I'd recommend you try to work together with some of your coursemates. Maybe there is someone who can aid you with the interviews. You prepare the questions, instruct them, and you do the transcribing and analysis afterwards," Herman instructed.
"I am not sure how easy that's going to be," Rory hesitated.
"Alternatively you'll have to find a new set of case studies, it wouldn't be ideal," he noted.
"I'll see what I can do," Rory agreed. The only other person who she might get to help her was Gwen, but she certainly needed to improve their relationship for that. That meant overcoming what had come between them.
Leah sat in her high chair eating avocado slices and sweet potato fries, Logan had prepared for her just as they'd arrived home from Finn's. Rory was running a little late, having called just minutes earlier.
"Oh, hi Logan!" Emily greeted stepping through the front door using the key Rory had given her for the time being.
"Emily! Nice to see you," he greeted, rising from his seat.
"And hi Leah! You've grown so much, I just saw you at Christmas, just look at you," she chattered, taking a seat next to Leah at the dinner table.
"Logan, I hope you don't mind me barging in like this on short notice," Emily noted.
"Don't be silly, Emily. There is plenty of room and really, it's no trouble at all," he replied, handing Leah her water bottle.
"You look good with her, if I didn't know I'd never guess she wasn't yours," Emily noted, almost surprised of herself making that somewhat inappropriate statement, correcting herself by adding, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything other by it than just that you look good in the role of a father."
"Thank you," Logan replied. While he found it difficult to forget completely that Leah wasn't his, as he'd missed out on the expecting, delivery and infant-days with her, painfully reminding himself of what could've been his, in the present he'd learned to interact and take care of her as if she was his. He could even say he was beginning to love her like his own.
"How are your parents handling everything?" Emily inquired further, keeping the question intentionally vague.
"Well work-wise things are pretty much the same, Shira is still Shira, unhappy with pretty much anything we decide about the wedding, but there is little point in trying to please her. But I think at least my father is really beginning to embrace the idea of Rory as family, and I think that is pretty much all it takes. Shira's opinion matters little in the long run," he explained, wiping Leah's mouth clean and lifting her out of her high chair.
"That's good," she agreed. "Rory told me and Lorelai about the house plans. That's a wonderful gesture," Emily noted, getting herself a glass of water.
"I just thought it was time. I'd be happy buying something, it certainly would be quicker, but everything that has the properties we are looking for are far too huge. Rory was reluctant towards this place at first, saying it was too big," he explained, handing Leah her beloved Pinky.
"This place? But it's so compact," Emily replied, sounding surprised.
"That's the way she is," he noted. "I'd also prefer if we didn't have to have an army of servants looking after the place," he added. They used the services of Lauren for Leah and a maid that came by once a week to do the major cleaning, but other than that he'd gotten used to cooking himself or simply ordering take-away, and of course there was the driver he used, but to him that already was the modest lifestyle compared to his parent's estate that employed at least ten people full time, more while he and Honor had still been kids.
"Oh, Logan, and I almost forgot," she began a few minutes later, "I got you the props you asked for the wedding, we're all good to go," Emily added.
"That's great, thank you, Emily," he replied with a pleased smile.
"How are the wedding plans going?" Honor asked, having just offered her guests a drink.
"It's going well," Rory replied, glancing over to Emily, "grandma has been a huge help, I'd be completely lost without her," she added thankfully.
"We just went to look over the venue yesterday," Emily explained. "And I think we've not gotten most of the decor and food sorted, some final decisions pending," she added.
"I can't wait, everything I've heard, the dress and venue, it's going to be wonderful," she said excitedly.
"Me neither," Logan sighed, he knew probably the least about the wedding, yet he couldn't wait to finally marry Rory.
"Logan," Rory huffed playfully, as if he had wanted it to be over already.
"Waiting can be a good thing sometimes, makes it more exciting," Emily added.
"Very true," Honor replied, "God, I had to wait like over a year for my wedding," she said.
"Worth the wait," Josh replied, giving his wife a gentle kiss.
"Actually, we have an announcement," Honor began, adding, "Sorry Logan, for stealing your thunder, but I think you've had enough birthdays all to yourself."
"We're expecting another baby," Josh announced, proudly.
"A baby girl, finally," Honor sighed. She'd hoped for a girl for a long time, not that she loved Conrad and Linus any less, but there was just something different about a girl. She hoped for shared interest and quality mother daughter time she'd only ever heard about.
"Congratulations," the guests cheered.
"I'm really happy for you, sis," Logan said, giving her a hug.
"So when are you due?" Rory asked, hoping she'd still make it to her wedding in one piece.
"Beginning of August," Honor replied.
"We also have an announcement, but no, not the patter of tiny feet," Logan said, almost adding a 'yet' at the end of that sentence. "We've decided to build a house, and it actually will be quite close by here," he stated, taking Rory's hand.
"That's wonderful," Honor exclaimed.
"So how did Logan manage to talk you into this exactly?" Honor asked Rory privately as the rest headed off towards the dining room a few minutes later.
"It was the privacy factor, and well he promised we'd keep it reasonably sized," Rory explained.
"And Honor," Rory added, "I'm really glad you're finally getting a daughter, like you wanted," she said recalling her mention that when she'd run into her prior to Logan's wedding.
"You know, it was seeing Leah that put the idea in my head to give it another try, I thought I was done for good, but I guess the hormones got the better of me," Honor explained laughingly, linking their arms and leading Rory to the dining room.
"Logan, I want to talk to you about something," Rory began, after Emily had left for Nantucket and Leah was already in bed. "Actually two things," she added.
"Shoot, Ace," he suggested, closing his laptop, while sitting on their bed.
"First, I think I am going to have to try to get better acquainted with Gwen, so I wondered whether you know anybody that might just run a background check on her. At least briefly and do it so that I don't even want to know what they find, I just want a 'go or no' answer, whether I have reason to doubt her," she said. "I might need her help interviewing people for my research as she is the most qualified for it, without having to train someone from scratch, and before I go asking her for this huge favor I think I have major bucking up to do, after the past few months," Rory explained taking a seat next to him.
"Sure, I'll look into it on Monday," he replied.
"Also the other thing, and please I hope you won't take this the wrong way," she sighed, taking a few deep breaths. She wondered whether she could potentially drive herself into a panic attack or was that just impossible.
"You're scaring me, Rory," he said, raising to stand opposite to her, brushing her arms gently.
"You know how there are still a lot of people out there who think I am marrying you because of the money," she began, adding, "I was thinking perhaps it would be a good idea if we had a prenup made. I have no doubts in us and I know that you know that my intentions are pure, if anybody knows it's you. But I just think it'd ease some gossip and perhaps even simplify the relationships around the office once I return."
"Rory, honestly, I don't like the sound of this. It sounds just like something my father would make you do," he said, shaking his head. "This isn't his doing is it?" he asked.
"No, I haven't spoken to him in months," she replied.
"Also why do you care what other people think?" he continued, "all that matters is what we know and feel."
"I am not like you Logan, I am not used to this. I don't want people to think differently of me just because I am married to you," she tried to clarify.
"That's the Huntzberger curse, Rory. They will and they probably already do think differently about you. And I am sorry if being with me is such an inconvenience to you," he huffed.
"That's not what I meant," Rory pleaded, trying to keep her voice down.
"Rory, I love you but this is where I draw the line. I can't keep apologizing for something that is a part of who I am. It's for the better and for the worse, Rory. That's what a marriage is about, you know," he said, taking a deep breath. "I've fought the name my entire life, and there is no escaping from it. Trust me I've tried. And I do not intend to pay some bloodsucking lawyers to draw up some unfair prenup just so other people may think differently about us," he said, angrily at a lowered voice.
"I'm sorry Logan, I'm sorry I said anything. It's fine, let's just drop it, okay. Forget I said anything Logan," Rory begged, her eyes tearing up, hiding her eyes behind her hands.
Logan paced around the room, still agitated, running his fingers through his hair, observing her. It was a strange situation for him. He couldn't just express what he felt or storm out, he also had to make sure she wouldn't crash completely.
Tears fell down Rory's cheeks. "I'm sorry Logan, I didn't mean it," Rory sobbed.
Every molecule in his body wanted to leave the room, go outside, but he couldn't. If he did he'd leave her when she needed him. This needed to be something different. This needed to be a precedent. Logan knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his. "Rory, let's just try to recoup, I need to calm down, and you do too," he advised. "Let's just try to breathe, okay," he suggested.
Rory's lower lip still trembled, as she looked at him straight in the eyes and they breathed together, their bodies relaxing slightly.
"I need to go get some air," he said after five minutes. But instead of just walking out, he added, "maybe you'd like to join me," holding out his hand.
Rory took his hand in agreement, grabbing the baby monitor from the side table with her other hand and followed him. They pulled on their coats and stepped outside through the sunroom to the back porch, taking a seat on a couple of pillows Logan had grabbed from the sunroom couch and placed on to the stairs. Their breaths were visible, the cold evening pinching their skin gently.
"It has to come from you - can you learn to live with the name and everything that comes with it?" he asked. "If you can't there are other ways of doing this that doesn't include marriage," he added, "none that I would prefer, but it's up to you."
"Logan, that's not what I want. I love you and I want to be with you, there is no question. When it comes to living with the name and what comes with it, I guess I'll just need to adapt. I'll bring it up with Cara as well. Perhaps it's just something that is tangled up with the rest of my mess," she explained. "I really didn't want to hurt you, Logan," she added apologetically.
"Just the prenup is like the most offensive thing I can think of, and I am not going to do that because of other people or because you fear their opinion. I'd gladly give you all my worldly belongings if it came to it," he sighed.
"I'm not pushing it, just forget it. It was an idea. A bad one. Emily said you might take it badly, and she was right, I should've listened to her," Rory said.
"Okay," he replied with a sigh.
The argument hadn't been a pleasant one for either of them. He still felt a little hurt, and from the bottom of his heart he hoped, he begged, that she might get over this insecurity.
Rory was upset at herself, for both the idea itself, and the way she'd presented it. Her oral expression had never been as good as her written word, that enabled her to go back and edit, exchange a word here or there, or delete what she'd written altogether. Now there was nothing more she could do. The words had been spoken, her hesitancy about what other people thought was brought to daylight and they were surely to influence also the way Logan felt. She had an appointment with Cara the next day, and she aimed to bring it up. She had to get over it, there was no alternative.
