63. Una Rosa Con Qualsiasi Altro Nome
Date Written: June 28, 2019
Date Posted: November 10, 2020
Characters: Veneziano, Romano
Summary: Human names… they aren't exactly as necessary as you think. And then, when you least expect it, they suddenly are.
Notes: A little explanation of why I rarely use human names for the characters of Hetalia. Note: this is purely just headcanon and meant for a laugh.
Nations gave and threw away names like a dragon hoarding the most precious of metals and gems. Nations were words and words had meanings. To Nations, names were the very essence of their beings. Their names were titles, badges showing that they had survived. That they had earned the right to represent their people. That they had power and influence.
Nations did not have names.
They had titles. They had designations. They were Nations.
To have a name that could only describe a millionth of their entire self was a baffling idea. Who was the United Kingdom of North Ireland and Britain when compared to Arthur Kirkland? Or James Townsend? Or Oliver Hastings? What was a singular name with only the barest hint of importance or truth compared to their own self?
Unlike other Nations who refused the notion of using human names on a normal basis, Italia Veneziano, representative of the Northern half of the Republic of Italy, thought of human names with the enthusiasm of a newly expecting mother. There was so much fun to be had; so many names to explore and to experiment with! They were a trivial commodity, to be used when humans couldn't understand the concept of Nations or because—
"You've been flirting with the tourists again, haven't you?" Romano's head fell onto the palm of his hand. The elder Italian had been busy nursing a glass of wine when his younger brother had strolled in, a practiced sort of smug victory in his step. Romano added in afterthought, "What did you say?"
Veneziano waved his off, the pure cheer in his face belying what he truly fits. "The usual… I had some pretty ladies follow me to see my—"
"Our."
"—si, our sights, and then we started talking about art and architecture—one of the women was planning on going to an art school and she showed me—"
Romano coughed.
Veneziano's cheeks colored. "Not like that."
Romano merely shook his head before gesturing for him to continue.
"Long story short I think I got myself a date!"
Just when Romano was about to either congratulate or berate his brother for flirting while being on an official governmental meeting instead of flirting with cute girls, a group of women flooded into the establishment. Upon closer inspection, they looked like they were college graduate students, all of them looking for all the world like their lives were just beginning. They had the look of young people who were desperate to finally graduate and greet the world as if they were equals.
It was cute, Romano had to admit.
That is, Romano wanted to think that it was cute until a few of the girls broke from the main group to approach him and his brother. Veneziano, who had been busy ogling a few of the other women on the other side of the establishment was almost taken aback when a cute little blonde with a considerably sized bust approached him, looking for all the while like he was a perfectly sized pastry and she was going to gobble him up. If it wasn't for the fact that Romano had seen this exact face aimed at him on many previous occasions, he would have been a little more mischievous concerning his brother, but they were on an official trip, so it wouldn't make sense to look like an asshole for having the same thing done to him, even if it was in jest. Who knows, perhaps he could score a pretty lady for himself when all of this was over.
Veneziano, on the other hand, was over the moon with pleasure. Beautiful women fawning over him? And his brother not saying a word? Such a pleasurable way to start and end a government meeting! This was going to be the best business trip ever if this was going to be the case. Quickly, Veneziano adjusted his clothing and fixed his hair. despite his confidence in himself, he still liked to make sure that he was well groomed in front of his favorite people in the world: women.
"Well, hello there!" He greeted the women as a whole. He then singled out of one of the women, his smile becoming far more genuine and just a little coy. "Chiara! What a pleasant surprise!"
The young woman in question, Chiara, blushed prettily before leading a little forward, as if she wanted to share a little secret with him. Romano rolled his eyes, having seen this same song and dance a million times before over a series of centuries, but did so subtly. Even though Veneziano's dallying with sweet fancies was decidedly not something that Romano wanted to endure, he would do so because his brother would do the same for him.
As the both of them talked about this and that, Romano played with a pen that he had brought along for the trip. As he did so, he happened to glance up at the exact moment he caught sight of another young woman on the other side of the premises.
Unlike the first woman who looked absolutely gleeful that she was talking to his brother, this young woman looked like she was about to blow a gasket. Her features, which were dark yet enticing all the same, seemed to light up upon seeing Veneziano, but when she saw that he was talking animatedly to another woman… She didn't seem as enticing as before. In fact as she stalked her way towards their table, Romano knew that look.
Quiet intimately in fact.
Jealousy and scorned women seemed to go hand in hand.
He leaned back against his chair and sipped a glass of wine as he watched the entertaining events in front of him unfold.
Just when the graduate was about to regale the Northern Italian with a story about her visit to Germany when the other woman clapped a hand on the table. Romano eyed that hand with a side-eyed glance, but allowed the woman to do so. He had experienced smaller slights in the past, but he was willing to let this woman do what she had to.
Startled by the sudden appearance of what appeared to be another paramour, Veneziano looked back and paled at the anger on the other woman's face.
"Ariana!" He managed to squeak out in what most could have said was in a calm voice. Knowing Veneziano had been with him for the past century or so, Romano knew when his brother was feigning confidence. It was at that moment, he knew.
Romano knew that he was going to have the show of the evening. Given how other people were not so subtly looking at them, it appeared that they were also buckling in for the ride of the night.
"Ariana, tesoro," Veneziano swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "I didn't know—"
"Didn't know what, Domenico? That you're dallying with other women!" As the woman raved this and that about half-forgotten meetings and throes of passion (ew, Romano couldn't help but think), Romano nearly choked on his drink.
(Which was a shame, he liked this particular year).
Domenico was a name that Romano hadn't heard in years. Although fading in popularity, it was a good name that Veneziano had used a few times in the past if government officials or close human friends pressured them into using human conventions to name them. It wasn't a bad name, per se, Romano had slight preferences for his own name.
Romano, a great name on its own, was one of them.
However, Romano had also favored Salvatore, Lorenzo, and Nicola.
Veneziano had a multitude of others and if Romano knew his brother like he thought he did—
"Ah, you see, Aria—"
The first woman who approached the table—was it Chiara?—looked a little alarmed. Had she not realized that Veneziano was evidently involved in other women? Or—
"Domenico?" Chiara tilted her head to the side, a honestly confused expression on her face. "Miss, perhaps you're mistaken. His name is Vittorio!"
This time, Romano was smart and hadn't taken a drink of wine. However, he was just as stupid as before in that he had decided to take a bite of his food. Stupid! Oh well, he could always laugh about this later. Now, he was definitely going to have to watch this to the end.
After all, Vittorio? The Conqueror?
Talk about cheeky.
Regardless of whatever Veneziano wanted to do with the women (ugh, that was definitely not something Romano wanted to think about), there was only one way this conversation was going to end. By the looks of it, Veneziano knew the startling conclusion as well and was loathe to admit it. He tried to angle his head, to urge Romano to join the conversation, but the older brother had other plans.
Romano leaned back in his chair and asked, quite calmly, "Romeo? Who are these women? And why do they keep calling you weird names?"
Both women rounded upon his younger brother and asked, "YOU'VE BEEN LYING ABOUT YOUR NAME THIS ENTIRE NAME?"
As Veneziano tried his hardest to escape the situation, Romano walked out of his seat and sat at another table. Soon, he was joined by a flustered looking Spain, the look on his face signalling that he had probably been taking a nap or something before heading to the restaurant.
Spain made as if to ask what was happening to Veneziano, but Romano held up a hand.
"Human names are such a bother, especially if you don't have the head to keep track of them."
Spain could only nod wisely.
"If we don't rescue Veneziano soon, he won't have a head either."
Romano shrugged and finally polished off the rest of his wine.
"I can live with that."
