Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine

Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.

Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.


Jude leaned back against the jump seat he had squeezed himself into. Not five hours prior, he'd had Catherine in his bed. Against the wall. In the shower. Now, they were seated side by side in the military transport on their way to Kenya.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Catherine asked without daring to make eye contact with him.

"Maybe."

"Stop it. It's all over your face." She tried her best to stifle a laugh, but ended up covering her mouth with her hand.

Jude grinned from ear to ear, "Sorry, Princess. What can I say? You make me a happy man."

Catherine chewed on her lip as he draped his arm around her shoulders, "They're gonna catch on if you don't pull yourself together, Beckett."

He eyed the rest of the team who were gathered on the other side of the plane. "Are we keeping this a secret? Because if we are, then that would mean you would have to admit that this is, in fact, something."

She offered a wary look, "I said no commitment, Jude. I meant it."

"I know what you said and you know that I'm relentless." His fingers traced listless shapes on her shoulder, "We can agree to disagree on the commitment topic for now."

"You're awfully confident, aren't you?"

"I can kill every person in this plane with my bare hands. Skills like that do wonders for a man's confidence." He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to her temple, "You're gonna be a big distraction on this op. You know that?"

"Jude." She warned, "You've gotta forget this when we're in the field."

The slight twitch of his eyebrows and the flare at the corner of his mouth told her that he was amused, "I think you're forgetting that I've been compartmentalizing pretty well for the last couple years. You've been a distraction to me since day one."

Kabul. The firefight. The RPG. Steve risking Billy's life to save hers. "I'm serious. When we're in the field I'm just another agent."

"Hey, don't worry about it. You're meeting Agent Harlow at the black site in Ruiru to rendition Masari while Decker and I go into to the city to meet with an asset. Apart from me not being able to forget how fantastic you are between the sheets, we'll be on separate tracks."

She nudged him with her elbow, "No feelings, Jude. I mean it. They make things messy and people get hurt."

"People get hurt because they're not honest with each other." He countered, "You know where I stand. I know where you stand."

Catherine shook her head, "That's not the kind of hurt I'm talking about."

He traced his finger up the scar that snaked up her arm. "I know what you're talking about. This isn't Kabul."

"How do you-"

"I pulled your file."

She frowned, "Of course you did."

A devilish grin quirked up on his mouth as he leaned down, "Don't make me kiss that frown off your pretty little face."

Catherine glanced over at the rest of the team who were eyeing them suspiciously, "You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would."

"Jude." She warned.

"JUST KISS HER ALREADY!" Caroline shouted from across the plane.

Catherine turned ten shades of red. "I'm gonna kill you, Beckett."

Jude snickered, "I may have told Decker... Who told everyone else."

Smoke rose from her jacket as she slowly turned to face him. "Excuse me?"

His hand grabbed the back of her head and drew her in for an X-rated kiss in front of all their colleagues. Jude abruptly pulled away. Keeping her close, he whispered dark and dirty praises in her ear. The tense muscles in her arms relaxed at the sound of his words. He released the back of her neck from his grip and stood up, leaving Catherine shell-shocked and hot and bothered in his wake.


Things had not gone to plan. Catherine didn't know why she ever thought they would. Some dumbass had gotten a little too big for his britches and caused their detainee to go into cardiac arrest during questioning.

She braced her arms against the body of the Land Rover and cursed her luck. One fucking idiot had potentially blown their one and only lead. If this damn Hawaiian necklace didn't pan out, they'd lose Asad Al-Laja for good.

Catherine punched the door before yanking it open and sliding in. Her knuckles sang, but the blistering pain was no match for the call she was going to have to make. Best to rip the bandaid off. "Jude." She sighed when the call connected. "How are things in town? Decker get intel from his guy yet?"

"Not yet. How are things at the site? You get Masari to talk?"

"Jackass got carried away in rendition. Masari coded. They called TOD right before I got here."

Jude swore colorfully. "Motherfucker." He spat. "So where does that leave us?"

Catherine rested her forehead on the steering wheel. "I have a lead, but it's a longshot at best. I really need Decker's guy to come through."

"What's your lead?"

She sighed. She could explain the artifact, but he'd still be mad at the subtext. She needed to talk to Steve. Rather, she needed to go see Steve. "Masari had a Lei Niho Palaoa on him when he was brought in."

"Explain it to me like I'm five, Princess."

"A necklace that has been assumed to be buried with King Kamehameha in Hawaii."

"And Masari had it on him?"

"Yeah."

There was a long silence before Jude finally spoke again. "You've gotta go see him, don't you?"

That was the best possible reaction she could have hoped for. You have to go see him, not you want to go see him. At least Jude knew the difference. The question was, did she?

"Yeah. I do." She sighed, "Look. I gotta arrange a flight. I might be off the grid for a couple days, but I'll check in when I can."

"Give me three hours and I can peel away from Deck and go with you."

She knew what he was thinking and it had absolutely nothing to do with Asad. "Jude, I've got this. Stay with Decker."

"Princess…" He growled.

Catherine wanted to ram her head into the steering wheel. She should be on her way to the airfield, not arguing with a very loveable government-trained assassin. Every word in her brain spilled out at once. "It's just business." She soothed, "Look, I know I said no strings and no commitment, but I can promise you monogamy. Just because I don't want something serious doesn't mean I'm blind to what we have."

Jude muttered something in Swahili before bringing the phone back to his mouth, "Call me when you can."

"Stay safe."


Journal #11

En Route to Hawaii. Fuck.

I probably should have called Steve before I boarded the plane to Honolulu. I have a bad habit of just showing up. I guess it's because after all these years he still makes me nervous. Time and distance hasn't changed that at all.

Do I love Jude the way I loved Steve? Not right now. I really care about him, I think we have chemistry. The sex is great for sure. But love? I don't think I'll ever get there again and I'm okay with it. We have an understanding. No strings, no commitments. Just a little monogamous fun between two unattached adults.

I'm actually relieved that Steve and I talked when I was at GITMO. We were cordial. It almost felt like when we were back on the Enterprise in the early days. Offering advice, support, and nothing more. That's exactly what I need right now.

He's always what I need.

Fuck.


Catherine paced in the bullpen of the Five-0 offices. It was still early, but Marcus had recognized her and let her up without any questions. She glanced at the clock. Steve should be coming through the doors any minute. Unless he was already on a case… She cursed and pulled out her phone. She really didn't want to call him, but time was of the essence and that meant sacrifices had to be made. Namely, her pride.

The elevator doors slid open and Steve marched down the hallway. His head snapped up when the hairs on the back of his neck put his senses on high alert. He rounded the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. "Catherine?"

"Hey." She pushed away from the surface table and clasped her hands together, "Hi… I, um… I know I should have called before showing up here, but..."

Steve had her in a hug before she could finish her sentence, "You smell like jet fuel."

She cracked a smile, "My favorite fragrance. Eau de C-130."

"You just get in?"

"Yeah, I landed at Hickam a little bit ago.

"Okay," Steve rubbed the back of his neck before crossing his arms over his chest. The blue button up he wore strained at the motion, "So, uh, so what brings you by?" They were more than a little rusty at platonic small talk.

Catherine grinned, "How do you feel about a bomb maker for a Somali terror cell being on your island?"


Journal #11

O'ahu

I'm exhausted. My feet are killing me. My back is aching. My arm is shredded from that fucking death pit in the middle of the fucking jungle. But we made it. I just got off the phone with Jude and sent him the intel we recovered from the phone in the bunker. He's got a SEAL team en route and hopefully, we'll get Asad.

Things were good on Kaho'olawe. We got along. We didn't have sex. We played nice. We didn't die. (Big bonus points for that one.) It felt good. Being with Steve this time felt comfortable. Part of me still felt hurt and guilty when he said things with Lynn were good. I don't know if part of me was hoping they weren't. It wouldn't change anything if he wasn't seeing her… I don't know where my head was at.

Steve asked me if I was dating. I said a little bit. Not totally a lie. Not totally the truth. I mean, I had attempted dating and well, it was a fucking trainwreck. I wouldn't consider what Jude and I are doing as dating, per se, but it's more than nothing.

When we got back to HQ, Jude called me to check in. He didn't say much, but I could hear it in his voice. The strain and the tension was palpable. He was trying his best to keep it work related- I mean, we were on a Company phone, but I know what he was worried about.

I know he agreed to no strings, but I feel like a marionette. Every time I try to cut the ties that bind, there's a tighter pull.

I got to meet Steve's dog, Eddie. He's great. Such a sweetheart. They make a perfect pair. Steve's pretty great too. He's gone a little more gray since Rabat and I want to shoot myself for thinking how hot it is. Damn that man. It's unfair how he ages. No one should age that well.

I met the new team. It's crazy that Chin and Kono are gone. I still can't wrap my head around it. The new kids seem to be a good fit, but it's so different from the way it was. I think Steve feels it too. He does this thing when he's in a group where he gets really quiet and becomes the observer. Danny wasn't there. Chin and Kono weren't there. I think he misses the old team. Part of me wonders how long he'll stick with Five-0. It's a hard job. It's so physical- he can't do it forever. I guess it's not my place to ask those questions anymore.


Catherine gave Eddie a good scruff behind his ears and smooshed his face in her hands, "You're such a good boy." She giggled.

"You're gonna give him a big head." Steve smirked as he grabbed her bag out of the back of the truck, "You, uh, you going back in the field or…."

"Home. For a little bit." She took her pack from him and hefted it onto her shoulders. "Then probably back out on assignment." Catherine looked down at her boots, "You know, I um… I need to thank you for talking to me when I called from Camp Delta." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other to try and ease the tension, "Its…. Wow, it's, um... It changes you."

Steve nodded. "You talked to anyone about it?"

Catherine shook her head, "No." She had contemplated confiding in Jude, but sex happened and that changed things between them. Did she really want to mar him with her bloodied hands?

"Don't put it off." He urged. "And um… and you have my number. If, uh… you wanna talk."

"I should probably make that pretty rare." She admitted, "I don't want Lynn getting the wrong idea… You guys deserve a fair shot."

Steve chewed on the inside of his cheek as they lingered in the parking lot of Hickam Air Force Base. Truthfully, Lynn was on his last fucking nerve at the moment. Did he see a future with her? No. Did he know how to end things? Also no. It's not like she was going to run off to the CIA and leave the country. It was a small island. They ran into each other enough as it was. "Offer stands." He hesitated before adding on, "You know, Cath… I, uh, I was mad about it. For a long time." He paused, "Still kind of am some days… But, uh, I get it. You were made for this. You've got good instincts. You're a fighter. Damn smart. I, uh, I get it. And it looks like you're doing good work."

Heat flooded her cheeks, "Thanks." She looked away to hide the pink tint of blush that was creeping across her face. How did he still have that effect on her? "I should probably get going... Don't wanna hold up the plane…. So, um…"

She dodged awkwardly as they danced around a hug. Finally, he made the decision for her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Stay safe, okay?"

"You too, Sailor. Thanks for the ride." Catherine dug her hand in her back pocket, "One more thing." She held out the polaroid, "Tag."

Steve chuckled and accepted the good luck charm, "I have a feeling I might be needing this soon. Always kind of ends up coming in handy."

She gave his arm a squeeze before heading towards the hangar, "Don't be a stranger. 'Kay? I've got your six."


"Hey, you." Catherine set her toothbrush back in the holder and leaned her back against his chest. "You and Jude finish your male bonding?"

He stifled a laugh, "We were just fixing the fence in the right pasture. It got late. Beers were had. But, uh, just don't tell Danny."

She snickered, "Yeah, I know how jealous your other spouse gets." Catherine turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, "You sure this isn't weird for you?"

"Nah. He's a good guy. I like him. And I like seeing you happy."

"He told me about the job offer with Five-0…"

Steve flicked the light off as they meandered into the bedroom. He shucked off his shirt before climbing into bed, "Yeah, uh, you know, Grover's cutting back. Adam's on the mainland half the time, and uh… Tani's gonna need some time off in a couple months. Figured they could use the help."

Catherine raised an eyebrow, "What's going on with Tani? Her and Junior just got back from their honeymoon." Steve didn't even have a chance to respond before it dawned on her, "Oh shit. She's pregnant?"

He cracked a smile, "Junior told me before we left. Swore me to secrecy or Tani would kill us both."

"Ha! Now that, I have no trouble believing." She wiggled under the covers until she was curled into his side. Her fingers traced the mostly gray stubble on his face that formed the early stages of a beard. She loved his Montana beard. "You remember when we were on the E and you'd come in the gym and flirt with me?" Steve nodded as she continued, "I thought you were the most attractive man I'd ever seen. I was wrong."

"Oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow.

Catherine nodded and laid her head in the corner of his chest and shoulder, "You just keep getting better and better."

Steve pressed a kiss into her hair, "You know, I, uh… I used to question why things happened the way they did. Why we had to go through all the shit we did." He took her hand in his, "This is what it was for. I, uh… I dunno what to call it. Fate or destiny or just blind fucking luck, but I love you more than anything and however the hell we managed to make it here, we did it. We made it."


AUTHOR'S NOTE

Real talk: it's 1 AM and I'm just now finishing the proofread on this thing. Transitional chapters kill me. (Especially when I have to work around an episode.) If it wasn't clear, this puts us at 8x20. Leave your thoughts and comments in the reviews!

XO,

-Mags-


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