Severus was pacing. He didn't know how long he had been pacing the kitchen at Grimmauld Place for, he only knew that it helped him think, and that if he stopped the baby would cry. She seemed to like it when he walked, so he walked.

It had been almost an hour. An hour since they had left to rescue Potter and his stupid friends. So many scenarios had run through Severus' mind. So many possibilities. Had the Dark Lord arrived before the Order members? If so, the students were dead and Potter likely too. Had Albus arrived after with The Dark Lord? If so, it could have been students versus Death Eaters, which made it likely all the students were dead too. Had the Order members arrived before the Death Eaters? He wasn't sure what that scene would mean. All he knew was that he was pacing about, playing the fucking babysitter whilst his wife risked her life for that boy.

The baby made a strange gargling sound that he had dubbed the 'baby noise' and made another attempt to grab at his nose. He scowled at her, but she only found it funnier. He adjusted her in his arms which were starting to ache and tried not to notice the pleasant baby smell that wafted into his nostrils. He scowled again.

He felt sick with worry. He knew that Serena was still alive, his soul told him that. Her heart was still beating, but still, that didn't mean anything these days. Severus had seen too many people beg for death to believe that living was the better option.

She was a good fighter, he reminded himself. She was one of the best fighters, in fact. Better than all of the Order members and better than the Death Eaters too. He was confident that in a fair fight, she would win, but the Death Eaters didn't fight fair, Greyback had proven that.

Crack.

He stiffened.

Footsteps. Too many, or not enough, he wasn't sure.

From the moment they entered the kitchen he knew something had happened. Samuel entered first, bloodied and cold, with weary eyes that didn't even look at Severus. Then came Moody, his magical eye held in his hand, rather than whizzing in his socket. He clunked into the kitchen and sat down heavily on a stool, stretching his wooden leg out in front of him. Severus felt his blood growing colder and colder. Tonks walked in next, looking at her feet, and only then came his wonderful wife, his beautiful girl, hand in hand with Remus, who looked…

It was only then that he realised there were no more footsteps.

Remus was crying. His Serena looked… empty. His heart pounded with the thought that she was alive, that she was safe and unharmed. She met his eyes briefly, but her mind was closed to him.

"Where is she?" Remus said in a broken voice.

Severus looked at him and then held out the warm bundle that had been clinging to him for the last fifty minutes. Remus almost snatched her from his grasp, carrying her off to a corner of the room, murmuring in a steady rhythm words that only he could hear. Severus tried not to miss the warmth.

He looked, instead, at Serena who had sat down at the table and was staring at her hands.

He didn't know what to do.

He didn't know if he should comfort her or leave her or…

She held out a blind hand towards him and any decision was taken from him. He hurried forward, clasping her hand in his and she stood up shakily, folding into his arms and burying her face against his chest.

"Sentimente Assimile," he whispered to himself, hoping it would help him understand what was happening.

All he felt was grief. An overwhelming, suffocating grief, a feeling that made him think too much of past feelings, of that crushing, unbeatable weight that held you down and filled your heart and clouded your brain.

He pulled her against him tightly, uncaring of what others may see or think, but when he raised his head he saw that no one was paying them the slightest bit of attention.

Samuel was hugging Max, Tonks and Moody were pouring glasses of whiskey and Remus was still swaying on the spot, whispering nothings into his daughter's ear.

"Max, come on, let's get you something to eat," Samuel's heavy voice spoke, cutting through the silence of the room.

"That's okay Daddy," the little boy chirped, "the Professor Snape made me beans on toast."

Serena pull away from him and he found himself with all of the room's eyes upon him. He scowled. They really thought him such a monster.

"Your leg," he said quietly to Serena, crouching down to look at the raw burn on her thigh.

It healed before his very eyes and she gave him a small smile. "Nothing serious… look… we have a lot to say to each other but right now I'm gonna take care of Remus," she slid from his arms and moved to the other side of the room. He watched, without emotion, as she walked shakily over to Remus, and hugged him tightly from behind. Remus turned and pulled her closer, his chin tucking her head into his chest, his arms wrapping around her, and the three of them, man, woman and child, shared a moment of grief.

Severus had to swallow the jealousy that riled deep within him. It wasn't the moment. He looked up as the door slammed once more and Albus appeared. His eyes met Severus' immediately. He knew what that look meant. He had seen it many times in his life, and each time it surprised him that he survived to see the next.

Serena breathed in Remus' smell and hugged him tightly and securely. She couldn't tell if the grief she felt was his or hers and realised it didn't matter; they shared it.

Lavinia was babbling away, happy to be in her Daddy's arms once again, not realising yet that she only had one parent now, and the other, who had kissed her goodbye, would never come home.

She rubbed Remus' back soothingly and stared numbly at the wooden table. She didn't have words. She knew that words wouldn't help. She could only hold him and hope it anchored him to something.

"Miss Granger has been taken to St. Mungo's as a precaution this evening," Albus' voice carried across the room to them and her and Remus both turned to look at him. "As have two Death Eaters. Seven others have been arrested. The Minister for Magic has… admitted that Voldemort has returned, having physically seen him in the atrium of the Ministry. Harry Potter is alive, he is waiting for me at Hogwarts. Lord Voldemort fled when the aurors arrived. I… I have called a meeting for tomorrow morning, the whole Order. It… it saddens me deeply to know that a man that left to rescue children tonight never came home to his own child… I… I ask for your strength this evening and tomorrow, and I promise you, Sirius Black will be properly mourned and remembered in due time. Thank you."

Serena had to fight back the stinging tears behind her eyes as Albus finished his speech.

Lavinia chose that moment to give a small whine and it helped distract them.

"She needs feeding," Remus murmured, rubbing his little finger along her lips to see if she suckled it.

"Serena." She turned around.

"Albus." She couldn't hide the surprise in her voice.

"Serena, if you could come with me?"

"I…" she looked back at Remus and then to Albus. "Yes… ok…"

Albus turned and walked the length of the kitchen, before disappearing up the stairs.

Remus looked at her questioningly.

"I think I'm being fired," she said sadly. "I wasn't a very responsible teacher this evening… I'll be right back."

She followed Albus out and into the living room.

"Severus needs your help."

"What do you mean?" she asked, confused. She realised that Severus hadn't been in the room as she'd left it, but she hadn't heard him leave either. "Where is he?"

"He has returned to Hogwarts," Albus said quietly. "Now, Serena, Severus did not agree but with Minerva in the hospital you are the only other Order member at Hogwarts, and therefore, it must be you."

"What's going on, Albus?" she cut across him, her patient thinning.

"Severus must meet with Lord Voldemort as soon as he is summoned," he said quietly. "He will be tested. He must show that he helped Voldemort's plans. He needs to construct a believable memory in which he enables Harry to go to the Ministry, throws off the Order, and stops Professor Umbridge, do you understand?"

Serena nodded, her thoughts whirring in her head. Severus was going to the Dark Lord, now? She thought of the rage in his red eyes, the maddening flare of his nostrils, the power of his magic.

"Is it a good idea for it to be me?" she asked quietly. "The Dark Lord saw me with Harry tonight, don't you think-"

"There is no choice. And time is of the essence."

She nodded and moved towards the door. "Albus…" she hesitated, feeling guilt seep down her limbs. "About tonight… in the atrium… I'm… I'm sorry I-"

"We will talk about that later," he said in a neutral tone.

She nodded silently, feeling that the matter was not quite over yet.

Ten minutes later she was dressed in her teaching robes, walking hurriedly down the third-floor corridor at Hogwarts. The candles had all been lit, as though someone was hoping to make it look like early evening.

There were footsteps at the other end of the corridor, and the potions master swept towards her, his back rigid, his eyes forward and focussed on his destination, a scowl plastered on his face.

"Snape," she said sharply, holding out an arm to stop him in his tracks. "Good, I have heard that Potter and his friends are trying to leave the castle, I need your help. I believe they were heading towards the forest."

Snape sneered at her coldly, looking her up and down from her feet to her eyebrows. "Is that so, Professor Lake?"

"When I saw them from the window they were almost at Hagrid's hut."

"How many?"

"Does it matter?" she said in an exasperated voice, "five, six, god I don't know."

"And you are sure that Potter was with them?"

"Yes."

"Were they with or without Professor Umbridge?" he asked slyly, his eyes piercing hers almost viciously.

"I- she wasn't there, why? Look, come on, we've got to be quick," she said, starting to hurry up the corridor. She was half-way down when she suddenly remembered that she needed to go to her office urgently. She hadn't even felt the spell whoosh over her, but the next thing she knew, she was standing in her office wondering what on earth she was doing there.

Severus

She shuddered and shrugged off her teaching cloak, trying to rid herself of the memory of the man she had just met. A cold man, a sneering, empty, dangerous man she had barely recognised. A Death Eater hiding behind a teacher's disguise.

He was a good actor, she had to give him that. She just hoped that she had been genuine enough.

She let out the tension that had built within her with a huge sigh and collapsed into the sofa, her breaths coming in great gasps now, emotion building and filling up her brain so she couldn't think straight.

Sirius, Sirius was gone.

That hole that had never fully closed inside of her was wrenching open again, the emptiness ripping at her tissue and tearing at her fibre, pulling her in all directions, turning her head, cramping her muscles, burning her heart.

How could the world be so cruel?

Why was it Sirius that was taken from them?

A young man in his prime, a new father, a friend, a brave hero, a wonderful person that went into the fight without questioning anything. He gave his life to save a boy he cared for.

And her. That monster. That cruel, inhuman monster had once again stolen someone Serena loved and sent them away for ever.

Her fists clenched in anger, her body shook with emotion as tears poured down her face for the loss of her friend.

Sirius, one of the friends that had pulled her through after the death of Kingsley, Sirius, the man who had made her laugh too many times, who had known her intimately and had never spilled her secrets, who had brought happiness to Remus, who had done everything to save an abandoned little girl and give her a loving home.

Sirius who was funny and outgoing and hot-tempered. Sirius who was honest and outspoken and bold.

Sirius who made dirty jokes and caressed Remus' hand when he thought no one was looking. Sirius who insulted Severus and then whispered sweet things to his daughter.

Sirius Black, who wouldn't grace their presence ever again.

Serena took several deep breaths and brushed her tears away angrily. She had no right to be angry or upset now. Remus was hurting more than her, and she had to look after him, just as he looked after her. And Severus… her stomach clenched with fear as she thought of Severus in the presence of the Dark Lord that night. Just seeing him had terrorised her, and now Severus would surely walking straight into his lair to face the consequences of his wrath…

She got shakily to her feet and caught her reflection in the mirror. She looked… sad, she thought. She pulled out her wand and with a few quick charms she had righted her hair and makeup. A quick glamour on her eyes and she was ready to return to Grimmauld Place.

The atmosphere when she arrived was just as when she had left, except that the kitchen was a little more crowded. It was almost eleven o' clock in the evening, and yet Molly was cooking at the stove, tears running into her hair as she fried chips and set whisks whipping eggs for mayonnaise.

Samuel and Moody were working their way through a bottle of firewhiskey at the table. Tonks was crying into Arthur's shoulder and Mundungus sat silently in his usual chair, hidden away in the corner.

"Where's Remus?" Serena asked Samuel quietly, scowling at Mundungus in the corner. "And what's he doing here? Come to see if any of Sirius' belongings are worth selling?"

Samuel squeezed her hand and another waft of grief waved of her. "He's putting Lavinia to bed. Molly offered to go with him, but he said no."

"I'll go and see if he's ok." She headed up to the bedroom Sirius and Remus had painted yellow for Lavinia, just a few months previously.

She tapped gently on the door that was ajar and pushed it open slowly. "It's just me, Remus."

She found Remus on the floor, hugging his knees and gazing sadly at Vinnie who was sound asleep in her cot.

Serena moved slowly into the room and sat down on the carpet next to him.

"She's so beautiful," she whispered. "She looks so peaceful like that."

Remus sniffed. "How will she ever understand? How can we ever do him justice by making her understand how much he wanted to be a part of her life?"

Serena touched her shoulder to his and had to summon her occlumency to reply without crying. "We'll tell her stories," she murmured. "We'll have so many tales to tell her about her silly dad. About how brave he was, and what he died fighting for."

"He wanted to be a dad more than anything," Remus said, his voice cracking. "The day we got her was the happiest day of his life."

"I know," she whispered shakily, "I've never seen two people so happy. The three of you were such a perfect little family."

"But what about now?" Remus' voice crumbled as tears sprung from his eyes and he shook against Serena's side. "I can't raise her alone, what about- about when- when I transform? Or- or money? I can't even work. How can I support my daughter? What if they don't let me?"

"Shh, shh, stop, stop," she said, gripping his arm tightly and turning him to face her on the floor. "Now you listen to me, Remus Lupin. Sirius was not your only family. You have me, and Samuel, and Molly and Arthur and so many others. We are all here for you. I will look after my little god-daughter for a few days every month and it will be my pleasure. And Sirius had a saving account at Gringotts and insurance with the Ministry, I know he did. And if that still isn't enough, then Severus and I will help you, no, it won't be charity, it will be helping a friend who has already helped me through so much. And if it gets bad then Albus will always step in to help, he always does. So you can forget all of those worries right now, please. You are not alone. Do you hear me?"

Remus sniffed and nodded, putting his arm around her and allowing her to pull him into her arms.

"I've got you," she whispered, rubbing his back soothingly. "I've got you."

When Remus was ready, Serena took him to his bedroom. She remembered how awful it had been, going back to her quarters and seeing Kingsley's things scattered everywhere, waiting for him to return. If Severus hadn't had been there with her, she didn't know if she would have got through the pain.

"Do you want me to put some things away, before you go in there?" she asked quietly as Remus lingered under the doorway.

He nodded.

"Why don't you go and brush your teeth and come back in a second?"

He shuffled across the hall to the bathroom and Serena let herself into their bedroom. Two pairs of slippers sat at the side of the bed, whose quilt was tangled and unmade, and two pairs of pyjama shorts lay strewn across it. On the chair behind the door lay the clothes Sirius had been wearing that day to work, before he had got changed for their meal out. On one of the bedside tables lay a glass of water and the book he was reading on quidditch fouls.

Serena didn't want to erase his presence, but she needed to make it easier for Remus. She vanished the water and put the book back on a shelf where other similar books stood. She tried not to look at the photos that lay on top of the dressing table. She made the bed and put Sirius' pyjamas away. She folded most of Sirius' clothes and put them back in the wardrobe, but she rolled the t-shirt he had worn that day into a ball and put it next to Remus' pillow. A waft of Sirius' aftershave waved over her and she had to stop as she felt a burning in her throat again. She took a deep breath and continued moving things around the room or hiding them until nothing too painful lingered.

"Thanks," Remus murmured, looking around the room and avoiding the photos, just as she had. He climbed into bed and stared glassy-eyed at the ceiling. Serena extinguished several of the candles and then crouched down next to him.

"Do you want me to stay?"

Remus hesitated and then shook his head. "No, no, I'm fine."

"That's a lie, but that's okay," she said softly. "Vinnie will wake up around six o' clock, right? I'll get up with her, let you lie in for a bit."

He nodded.

"Try and sleep. And you know where my room is if you need me. You got me through this pain," she whispered, pressing her lips to his hand. "And I'll get you through it too, I promise. Goodnight."

Serena crawled into her own bed ten minutes later, her head aching, her heart bleeding, and fear settling into her stomach once more. She sat with her back against the headboard and pulled her knees up to her chest. Albus thought that Severus would be back tonight, but Serena couldn't help worry that he might not be back at all. Now she had seen the Dark Lord, now she had felt what it was like to be in his presence, to feel his power… her mind was creating images of Severus and everything he could be suffering at that very moment.

It was several hours before her head drooped to the side, and she finally fell asleep.

Severus knew what to do. He knew how to stop the shaking, he knew how to stop the crippling cramps spasming through his body but no matter how hard his mind focussed, he couldn't control his arms enough to reach his wand. A grunt escaped him as his back curved and he found himself with his nose shoved into the rug in front of the fireplace. Pain seared through his thighs and he tried to rub the muscles against the floor but he could barely move. He grunted again as his leg spasmed and his foot hit his armchair. A pile of books fell to the floor.

Fuck.

If Serena had been there she would have helped him.

No, he scolded himself, you don't need anyone, you can do this without her, you always have. He gritted his teeth and heaved himself onto his side, panting heavily from the effort it had taken him to turn his crucio-stricken body onto its side.

He was alive. That was the one thought that was keeping him going. Somehow, he would live to see another day. The Dark Lord had been more furious that he had ever seen him. Severus had never witnessed such rage and anger. He had learnt that the Dark Lord had conceived this plan weeks ago and had been trying to penetrate Potter's mind ever since. Tonight, he had sent ten Death Eaters to the Ministry of Magic… and one had returned.

Bellatrix had sat at his feet like some strange, loyal cat, rubbing herself pathetically against the Dark Lord's leg, and the dark wizard himself seemed unwilling to let her out of his sight.

Severus had been led straight into the ballroom. Several of the Death Eaters who hadn't been in the mission had already been whimpering in corners, baring signs of their lord's wrath and two house elves lay dead in the centre of the room. Severus had been expecting such scenes, but it didn't make it any less painful to digest.

The worst off had been Narcissa. Narcissa, whose husband was now rotting away in Azkaban, and whose reputation had been ruined forever. The Dark Lord had made sure to humiliate her in front of everyone, forcing her to strip and crawl out on her knees like an animal to the Dark Lord's promises that Lucius' failure would be paid for by his family.

Severus' mind had been pulled apart, or so the Dark Lord had thought. He had shown all of the memories that he had prepared; Potter in Umbridge's office, Serena finding him and telling him where they were, Severus going after them in the forest, trying to make sure that they had really left to fall into the Dark Lord's trap. The Dark Lord had been satisfied by his memories, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't be punished. It had all been worth it, though, he thought smugly as another jolt of pain shot up his back and jerked his head to his chest. For at the end of the pain and the anger, the Dark Lord had made it clear that Severus was the only one he could rely on. Severus, who had helped Harry Potter fall into his lair, Severus who hadn't been there to fail him at the Ministry, Severus who was able to give information about Potter's occlumency fails, about the death of Black, about Dumbledore's plans now he was reinstated at Hogwarts… Severus, despite himself, had risen within the ranks tonight.

"Fuck," he spat through gritted teeth as the tremors worsened again. "Elizabeth."

Crack.

"Master S-"

"Potion," he growled through his teeth that battered together of their own accord inside his chattering mouth. "Numbers six and seven… cabinet… upstairs."

The elf squeaked with fright but thankfully disapparated once more and reappeared with another deafening crack just seconds later.

"But Master Severus, sir! You is hurt!"

"Leave," he said through gritted teeth.

"That's an order," he growled again when the young elf didn't make any signs of obeying.

Another crack told him that she had finally listened.

Severus willed his hands to stabilise for long enough to uncork the first bottle, and he thought it a success when he managed to get half of it into his mouth and only the other half all over his face.

He swallowed and waited, panting against the rug as the muscle relaxant took effect. He took several deep breaths and felt the tightening sensation in his chest lessen slightly. When his muscles had started to calm and the jerks and tremors were less, he uncorked the second and gulped it down. It was twice the normal dose but he didn't care, he had an order meeting to get through, and he didn't want to risk twitching under Moody's magical gaze.

He stayed for five minutes on the ground, gently massaging his thighs and upper arms, and any other muscles he could reach. When he finally found the strength he heaved himself to his feet and went for a hot shower.

Under the scolding water he practised his occlumency exercises, slowly pushing his Death Eater persona back into the dark Hogwarts lake, and storing his memories of tonight safely away. He could feel the darkness and cruelty leave him slowly, replaced by other feelings that he sometimes found even more difficult to control. He had always promised himself that he would keep the Dark Lord and Serena as separate as possible, and yet tonight he had seen her, Serena, facing the Dark Lord, and the Dark Lord now knew who she was.

And of course, who should speak up, but her fucking father, sneaking out of the shadows to try to crawl his way up the ladder, just like the other pathetic little snakes, all ready to stab their fellow followers in the back, now that they weren't around.

Severus pushed those thoughts away. He would have to be patient today.

He let the water flow down his aching muscles and eventually turned the tap off. The sun had risen. He was expected.

He slipped through the door at Grimmauld Place and felt the magical wards flutter around him. Something had changed in the walls of the building. Although the secret-kept oat lay with Albus, the bonds of property had now been passed to Remus, he realised, and he found the house welcoming him slightly more warmly than it had previously done.

There was no one in the kitchen, but it was quite early so he began up the stairs to the room Serena sometimes slept in, trying not to limp and trying to shake off the twinges that peaked painfully in his back.

He clutched the banister tightly as he heaved himself up to the second floor. He knocked lightly on the bedroom door and it swung open for him. The curtains had been pulled back so natural daylight filled the room, and fell upon Serena, lying against the headboard, Lavinia draped across her lap, drinking a bottle of milk hungrily.

Serena had her nose buried in the baby's hair and Severus was reminded of that unique smell she carried with her.

"Hello," she said softly, and he saw bright blue eyes look at him too.

He swallowed hard. He didn't know what to do. He had so many angry things he needed to say to her, but somehow, in the presence of an infant, it didn't seem right. He remembered darkly how many arguments he had been forced to witness in his childhood.

"I wanted Remus to sleep as long as possible, so when she started crying I got up," Serena explained softly. "We're just finishing this bottle here and then I'll take her downstairs. Are you ok?"

Severus nodded, before moving slowly to sit on the edge of the bed next to her, careful not to show his screaming muscles.

Her eyes narrowed. "How bad?"

Severus gritted his teeth. He couldn't fucking hide anything from her. "I'll live."

"That's not what I asked," she said softly, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. Her bottom lip had somehow found its way between her teeth again and he reached out and tugged at it gently. Her eyes widened as she felt his emotions but she didn't say anything.

"gaga bababa!" His eyes flickered down to the tiny being between them who had apparently finished with her bottle. Serena chuckled.

"Someone's very talkative this morning, aren't you Vinnie? Are we going to go downstairs to play? Shall we? Come on then."

She shifted her in her arms, vanished the bottle and stood up slowly. "Unless you want to carry her?"

Severus scowled. "Certainly not, I don't want drool all over my robes."

She couldn't help but smile at the lack of mirth behind his words. "Do you want to stay here for a bit? Have a rest? The meeting isn't for another hour and a half."

Severus shook his head and stood stubbornly, determined to follow her back down the two flights of painful stairs with that babbling drooling baby.

Once in the kitchen, Serena lay her down in the play-pen Remus and Sirius had created for her. It had a soft, squidgy floor, a blanket, a teddy bear with crinkly ears and many other toys which floated down to hover a few centimetres above the floor.

They both watched for a moment, as she managed to heave herself into a sitting position and grab at some of the toys.

"Coffee?" Serena's voice drew him away from his thoughts.

He nodded and went to stand against the kitchen counter, trying to shake off a tremor in his right arm subtly.

"What happened?" she asked quietly. "Did the memory work? And your plan? Is anyone dead? He was so angry last night, I was really worried about you."

Severus bit his tongue. The anger that had been forgotten when he had seen the baby was quickly coming back to him. "What were you thinking?" he eventually said, in the most natural tone he could muster, still aware of the baby behind him.

She raised her eyebrows at him and then seemed to realise what he meant.

"I wasn't," she said quietly, taking the milk from the fridge. "I wasn't thinking, that's what I do best, isn't it?"

He pushed away her sarcasm and glared at her nonchalance. "Where should I start?" he said, clenching his fists together to try and control his anger. "You running after Bellatrix? You running after Bellatrix with Harry Potter? Or you finding yourself face to face with the fucking Dark Lord? Do you have any idea? Do you have any idea how close you were from death? Do you know what you have done now? How he is suddenly so aware of your presence? How your father saw the memories he projected for us to watch? How I saw them and had to scorn and sneer whilst I saw my own fucking wife the target of his killing curse? Protecting that fucking boy?"

She had the decency to avoid his gaze and look ashamed at least. The sneer that formed on his lips was real and he found it difficult to control his tremors suddenly. He leant a little heavier onto the worktop and glowered at her.

"Answer me!" he hissed finally, his patience thinning.

She glared right back at him. "What do you want me to say?" she snapped quietly, trying to keep her voice as low as possible. "The bitch that killed my fiancé just murdered my best friend right in front of my eyes, so no, I didn't think, I just went, I just ran after her, and Harry was there and I knew I should have stopped him but I couldn't even stop myself… I didn't for a moment imagine that… I didn't think I'd… that I'd be confronted with the Dark Lord… What happened?"

Severus tried to push his fingernails into the palms of his hands as deeply as he could. "The Dark Lord is interested in you. He has given your father permission to try and turn you."

"Turn me?"

"To make you come over to his side. Your blood is pure, the Dark Lord realises that. There are very few young, pureblood witches these days. He is interested in you for… for breeding."

The look of disgust on Serena's face mimicked how he was feeling inside. How he had felt inside ever since he had returned, face down onto his own rug.

"Breeding? Jesus. That sounds nice."

Severus repressed a growl. He wanted to shake her. He wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her as hard as he could but the pair of bright blue eyes watching him curiously from the floor froze him to the spot.

"I am furious," he said quietly as movement from upstairs indicated that other people were awake.

"I know," she said softly as they heard footsteps on the stairs. "We can talk more later, I… it was never my intention to complicate things, you know that. But I went there to fight and that's what I did."

Samuel and Max entered the kitchen and Max ran over to Serena and hugged her.

"Hello Professor," he said solemnly to Severus. Severus' eyes flew to Serena's, startled. It was the first time the little boy had greeted him of his own accord.

He cleared his throat. "Hello, Max."

He saw Samuel share a smile with Serena and felt his anger dissipating. His wife was so infuriating and yet he could never be angry with her for long.

Remus came down after that and he watched as Serena bustled around, making more coffee and passing out her subtle caresses and calming touches, just as she always had.

When she stood behind Remus' chair and threaded a hand into his hair, Severus felt jealousy tightening in his stomach, but he knew he couldn't say anything. It wasn't sexual or romantic, he knew that, he knew it deep down, but it didn't make it any easier to watch. Serena was his and he didn't like the way she was touching Remus.

After a few painful seconds she moved away and took Max another slice of toast.

"I'm going to shower," she said finally. "Vinnie's had her bottle, Remus."

Remus, who was staring at the wall opposite nodded vaguely. Serena caught Severus' eye. "Sev, will you come upstairs with me?"

The contraction of his given name stabilised his feelings, as she knew it would, and he found her open declaration to the kitchen calmed him. He nodded silently, those three letters echoing softly in his head and followed her up those blasted stairs again.

Once in the bedroom she pushed him gently down onto the edge of the bed and sat down on the floor in front of him.

"Where is worse?" she asked softly, her hands reaching out and massaging his left calf firmly through his trouser leg.

He hated how it relieved part of the pain almost immediately and he was too selfish to push her away. "Legs," he muttered, barely audible, but he knew she had heard him.

"Ok mister, shoes off and up on the bed then."

"Serena I'm fine-"

"Sev," she said softly for the second time that morning and he found sadness in her eyes when he looked down at her, scowling. "Please, let me look after you, just this once?"

He closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them he nodded. He felt her fingers deftly undoing his boot laces, and then she pulled one boot off and then the other. He turned and lay back in the centre of the bed and his eyes fell shut as she began massaging his muscles firmly, kneading her knuckles into his calves, causing pain but soothing the tremors when she moved on to another part of his broken body. He felt her shift onto him next, sitting lightly on his ankles as her deft fingers found his thighs and she continued her work, concentrating on the places that made him flinch the most.

"Serena, is that you?"

"Sorry," she muttered, and he felt the temperature that had been steadily dropping around them rise back to normal. "I was just thinking…Was this a punishment or just a reflection of his anger?" she asked quietly. His eyes flew open but when he found she wasn't looking at him, he closed them again and tried to relax.

"Both," he said honestly. "He wasn't expecting to go to the Ministry himself," he murmured. "He thought Malfoy and the others could handle a few under-age wizards."

"Your warning to the Order saved them," she replied quietly.

"Even so," he continued, "you were outnumbered more than two to one. Malfoy should have won… The Dark Lord sent ten of his most worthy followers and only one returned. And to top it all off he had to reveal himself to the Ministry."

"When I first saw him," she murmured, changing to his other leg. "I was frozen… entranced, really. He is just… terrifying… and even when I came back to my senses and raised my wand, I just felt so incredibly… powerless, you know? I just had this realisation that no spell I could ever throw at him would be enough…"

"The Dark Lord will not be beaten by mere spells alone," Severus said quietly. "But yes… I understand how you felt."

"So what is my father's plan?" she asked, and he heard hesitance in her voice.

"The plan is of no importance," Severus replied. "But you will no longer be safe in the wizarding world. You must apparate or go accompanied by an order member if you need to, but there will be no more shopping or walking alone. Albus has forced the ministry to stop covering the floo network, but in a few months I wouldn't be surprised if even that is controlled by the Dark Lord. You must be careful."

"Okay," she said quietly.

He opened his eyes and raised his head so that he could look at her. Her lip was being chewed again. "I will protect you, Serena," he promised her, "I won't ever let him hurt you… but you must take precautions."

She nodded and gave him a small smile. "Right, turn over, let me do the other side."

He complied silently.

Ten minutes later she left him to take a shower and he lay still on the bed, his tremors weakened, but that unsteady fear in his stomach. The Dark Lord had made her a target, and Severus didn't like that at all.

And here we are, the one hundreth chapter!

We are in the final quarter of the story, hope you are enjoying the ride so far.

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