Chapter 66 – Not at Fault
Edward
With Bella blaming herself and breaking down the way she had, I was beginning to worry about her. I wanted to help her, so I had called my friend, Father Lebuteur, from the hospital's Sanctuary. He had said on many occasions that he would be more than happy to take care of Bella because she was such a special person. I agreed with him. I was glad that Bella had seemed like she would be open to accepting his help when they had spoken at the hospital.
She and I were both so tired, which made everything just seem bigger than it was. We finally got home and into bed, where she quickly fell asleep. I wished I could say her night was good, but she tossed, turned, and cried all night, still blaming herself.
I had rounds the next morning, so I was up early. I heard a soft knock on the front door and opened it to find Alice and Rose standing there. "Edward, do you have a minute?" Alice asked.
"How is she?" Rose hugged me. "We came to check on her."
"She's still asleep. She's fine physically, but I'm worried about her, guys." I filled them in on last night, and they both were concerned for Bella as well.
"I know how she thinks, and this is going to be rough on her," Alice said, looking concerned. "She thinks nobody knows or hears her crying at the office, but I do. She takes things to heart like no one I've ever seen. It can be a detriment, but it's also what makes her so good at what she does. She gives all she has, and sometimes, it's more than she can spare, but I know she wouldn't have it any other way."
They both tiptoed into the bedroom and kissed her cheeks then left quietly. Rose assured me that Bella was to take whatever time she needed from work to deal with everything that had happened, for which I was grateful.
I went to find some breakfast, and Charlie was in the kitchen, just having poured a fresh cup of coffee. He handed it to me and pulled another cup from the cabinet, eyeing me in the process.
"You look like hell, Edward. Bad night?" he asked, concern all over his face and in his voice.
"Yeah. Bella had nightmares all night. I'm really worried about her, Charlie. I know she has a big heart, but a person can only take so much."
"She's tough, Edward. I know she looks fragile, and maybe she's more so than I think, but I've seen her handle some pretty bad stuff. She'll be okay, just hang in there."
"Has she ever had to deal with something like this that she felt responsible for?"
Charlie's face fell. "I guess she never told you about her dog, Pepper?" he asked. I had never heard her mention a dog, so I shook my head no. Charlie nodded and continued.
"I'm not surprised. She struggles to talk about it. Pepper was her baby, a tiny, jet-black toy Pomeranian. Cutest little ball of fuzz you ever saw. She'd brought her here to spend the week with her and her grandparents during that summer. She was almost sixteen, I think. Anyway, she let the dog out into the backyard to go to the bathroom and went back in to get something, and when she went back out to get the dog, it was gone." Charlie poured himself another cup of coffee and continued.
"They searched for days. My dad finally found it in the backyard next door. The dog had been torn to pieces. Bella was inconsolable and blamed herself for not watching Pepper closer. We thought maybe a hawk or a fox had gotten hold of it, but thinking back, that dog was cut apart, not ripped like an animal would do.
"Dad suspected Laurant Dubois of it. God knows that kid became weirder and weirder over the years, but we could never find any proof. Bella was devastated. She wanted another dog after that, but she was afraid she wouldn't be able to watch it properly. Then, Felicity just happened, and she gave up on the idea of getting another dog. She seemed to get over it, but I know she carries that guilt with her even today. I can see it every time she looks at a puppy."
The thought of Bella suffering such a loss caused a lump in my throat. Whoever would do such a thing was obviously sick. "It's a good thing she's going to talk to Father Lebuteur, then. I'm sure he can help her work things through."
"Alec Lebuteur?" Charlie asked.
"Yes, he was the one who married us." Charlie had a thoughtful look on his face for a moment, and then he grinned.
"I was too busy watching Bella to notice too much," Charlie laughed, "but now it makes sense. I thought he looked familiar. Your wedding wasn't the first marriage he officiated for Bella. He performed the 'ceremony' for her and Laurant when they were five," Charlie chuckled. "Anyway, Alec always was a good sport with them. He was kind, even despite his upbringing," he sighed.
"He's always been warm and friendly with me. I'm sorry to hear he had a rough childhood, though," I frowned.
"Yeah, no dad around, only his mom, who was a piece of work, that one. He was expected to join the priesthood and forced into training from the moment he could go. His mother made sure of it. I remember her well. Overbearing, cold, and demanding to say the least. They lived down the street here from here, and I remember mom and dad both mentioning more than once the generous number of 'gentlemen friends' she had who visited regularly at all hours. I can only imagine what Alec saw and endured because of that. It was no wonder she wanted him to be a priest so bad. Instant absolution," Charlie shook his head. "He was always such a good kid, though, and he rose above it. He should be able to help Bella a lot." Charlie appeared to relax, so I did, too.
I headed off to the hospital to make my rounds, but I wanted to check on Bella again, so I ran home at lunch, finding Renee busy in the kitchen making a tray for her.
"I checked on her about an hour ago, and she was still asleep," Renee said, as she finished loading the tray with food. "She really should wake up and eat something, though. I worry about her; she's getting so thin."
I planted a kiss on Renee's cheek, and she hugged me back. I wasn't looking forward to them going home in a few days, and I hoped Bella and I could convince them to stay permanently. Having them here had made life so much easier for us. I hoped having her parents here could bring Bella strength.
In her dreams, she had been trying to bargain for the lives of the people who had died with her own, willing to give herself as a sacrifice to keep whoever was killing people from killing someone else. I shuddered at the thought. With all Bella was going through, she would need her family around her now more than ever.
