Author note;
I hope everyone had a good New Year. Here's to 2021 being better than 2020 for all of us. Thanks for your continued support. Please leave a review with your favorite part. (see note at end)
CH 105-Photographs & Memories
Emma was standing at the door, fumbling around, trying to reach her keys while not dropping any of the boxes or bags she was holding. Just as she located them insider her purse, the door swung open and Clay stepped back to make room for her to get inside.
"Thanks, honey. I wasn't sure how I was going to manage to get the door unlocked with all this."
"You can thank Koda, actually. It was his whining and pawing at the door that let me know you were out there."
"Aww, thanks buddy!"
Clay reached for some of her packages.
"I can see why you were having trouble. Let me take some of this."
They sat her purchases on the couch and she flopped down next to them.
"Did you and Linda have a good time today?"
"Yea, we did," she smiled in response. "We had lunch and then hit the Outlet Mall."
"I can see that. Is there anything left in the stores?"
He leaned down to kiss her forehead as he teased her.
"Hey," swatted his arm lightly. "They were having great after-Christmas sales. And I had those gift cards to use."
"Uh, huh."
"I even found some stuff for you. But if you're going to tease me…I might take it back."
She stuck her lip out in a pretend pout as he took a seat next to her.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry."
He leaned and nipped at her bottom lip that was still poking out.
"Alright then. The Under Armor store had some great mark-downs and I found some of those shirts you like for when you're working out."
"Thanks, Em. That's great."
"And…I know you said that you were going to need a new belt too. I found one, but it's a little bit different color brown than the one you have now. If you don't want it, we can take it back."
Clay put an arm around Emma and hugged her close.
"I'm sure it's fine. Thanks again, babe."
Kissing him on the cheek she pushed up and started to gather up the bags.
"I'm going take these into the bedroom."
Emma spent some time finding where to put everything and making sure it was in its proper place. She even took the chance to change into some more comfortable clothes before re-joining Clay in the living room. It wasn't until then that she realized that the TV was off and the bottle of Glenfiddich that Jason had gifted him for Christmas was sitting on the side table next to a glass with a couple fingers poured. She also noticed that the chest from his Grandparents had been moved from its place in the corner to rest next to the chair in which he now sat. She motioned to it and to the Scotch as she spoke.
"Is everything okay?"
"Uh…yea. I guess I was working up the guts to go through this stuff."
She thought that since he did all this while she was gone, he might want to do this alone. She went and sat on the arm of the over-stuffed chair and laid her hand on his shoulder.
"If you want go through these things by yourself, I can go over to Dad's for a while."
He reached around her and pulled her into his lap, tucking her head under his chin.
"I actually was procrastinating until you got home. Do you mind?"
She sat up and cradled his face in her hands.
"Of course not, honey. I'm here for whatever you need."
They kissed tenderly and then Emma slid off his lap and settled on the floor, leaning her head against his thigh.
Clay took a deep breath and a gulp of liquid courage before opening the container once again. He reached in and began to pull out stacks of papers. He sorted through them, looking at each and then passing them to Emma with an explanation.
"These look like papers from Elementary school." He chuckled a little. "This must have been a poem I had to write."
Emma took the sheet he offered and looked over the faded, childish handwriting.
Clouds
White clouds are fluffy
I like to watch them pass by
Floating in the sky
It was so sweet and innocent. She vowed to read each assignment that was saved. It gave her just a small glimpse of the little boy that he was before he grew into the man she loved today. Soon they got to some drawings and art projects.
She adored the childish depictions of life in the village. The small stick boy holding hands with two grey-haired stick figures was her favorite. The crayon drawing of his family was precious.
Underneath the papers there was a small box that Clay lifted out. As he opened the lid, she could see him blinking rapidly, trying to keep his tears at bay. He carefully lifted out some small woodcarvings. They had been made by hand. There were simple figures, like crosses and fish, as well as a few more intricate designs that looked like miniature wooden masks.
"At night, when all the work was done…we would sit by candlelight. Grams would usually be knitting or reading. I would be playing, or reading, or drawing. But Gramps…he would whittle with his pocketknife."
She could see him, turning the pieces over and over in his hands, feeling the grooves and patterns.
"I remember watching him," he laughed softly. "I was so excited when I was old enough and Gramps gave me a knife of my own. He showed me how to hold it, how to use it to shape the wood. He would say, 'Clay, the figure is already in there. You just have to help bring it out.'"
"Which ones did you do?"
He handed her a cross, the fish, a small animal that looked like it could be a horse, and one that was shaped like the letter "C".
"These others, Gramps did these."
"He was very talented."
"He was. The local tribes are known for their wooden masks. They've been making them for centuries. It's how they depicted their lives and their religion, how they recorded their history. It's extremely important to them. See…these small masks that Gramps did are like the ones that celebrate the harvest."
"I was never as good, or as patient as he was," he smiled at her through watery eyes.
"I think these are great. Maybe…maybe someday you'll have a son, and you can show him how to carve like this."
He grasped her hand in his and squeezed.
"Yeah, maybe we will."
They put the wooden figures back in the box and set it on the table. Emma's mind was already spinning with how they could display these in their apartment.
Clay dug back into the trunk and started to pull out some books. On top were childhood books like "Aesop's Fables" and "Favorite Greek Myths for Children."
"I guess this is where you learned to love the classics, huh?"
Emma knew he had a copy of "The Odyssey" on the shelf that he was working his way through.
"I guess it is," he answered, flashing her a grin.
Next was a large volume that was dog-eared and well loved. Across the cover, in gold lettering was the title, "The Book of Constellations". Clay thumbed the pages and came to the first corner that was folded down. It was an illustration and photograph of the constellation, Cygnus. The couple looked at each other and smiled, remembering their night spent making love under the stars.
"I told you it's always been one of my favorites. Now, it's doubly so."
After paging through the tome and setting it aside, he pulled out the last book. This was a homemade photo album.
"I don't ever remember seeing this. Grams must have made it."
The first page held some pictures of Clay as a baby. One was of a young, blonde woman holding him.
"Is that…"
"Yea, that's my mom."
Emma knew that the discussion of his mother stirred up even more emotions, so she didn't comment further.
As they flipped through there were photos of him as a youngster at the Mission. He was a skinny towhead with big blue eyes. Clay stopped on a page at a picture of him in plaid shorts and no shirt, with a big smile on his face as he held up a fish.
"I remember this. I remember…Gramps and I went fishing. We were out there for what seemed like hours and he had a good catch. I think I only got this one. I was so excited. I knew that Grams could cook us up a mess of fish for dinner that night, instead of just some fish gravy over rice."
He paused and closed his eyes. Emma could sense that he was transported back to that moment in time, reliving the memory.
"But…as we walked through the village, back to the Mission, Gramps started giving the fish away. By the time we got home, there were only two fish left for us. I remember being upset. I didn't understand why he would give our food away."
As he continued his story, she pulled herself up from the floor and sat on his knee. He shifted the album to his left hand and gathered her close with his right.
"He asked me what was wrong. And I told him that it wasn't fair. We had caught those fish and now dinner would be just fish gravy and rice again. And I'll never forget what he said. He said, 'Son, when you have the ability to help others in need, then it becomes your duty to do what you can.'"
He looked down at her and she reached up to wipe away the tear that had loosed itself from his eye and stolen down his cheek. He blew out a shaky breath.
"I never forgot that."
Emma looped her arm around his neck and pulled his forehead down to hers. It was now so clear to her where he learned the concepts of duty and service. Why he felt a burden to put his life on the line to protect her and others from the dangers of the world.
"What a wonderful lesson, and a wonderful memory."
"It is. And I have you to thank, Baby. I still can't believe that all this is real."
He pressed his lips to her forehead and held her tight against his chest. Trying to convey to her what all this meant to him, what her efforts meant to him.
They say quietly for just a minute before Emma sat up and started to page through the photos again. She was eager to see all there was to see. To let the pictures and mementos guide her through his childhood. She studied each one closely. Envisioning in her mind's eye a little boy, their little boy, with Clay's eyes and mischievous smile. As they got to the end of the book, there were a few handwritten pages stuffed in the back.
"This is Grams' writing."
They both scanned the papers. They realized that she had written out some of her recipes and tucked them into this album for him. There was a small post-script on the last page.
Clay,
These were some of your favorites while you were living here, with us. I hope that someday you have a home and family of your own to share them with.
Love,
Grams
Emma read the unfamiliar names to herself, Palava, Pepper Kala, Fufu with Plantain soup, and Rice Bread.
He handed the pages to her.
"Here, Grams said to share with my family. So, I guess these are yours now."
She accepted them with tears gathering in her eyes.
"Thank you," she sniffed. "I think that I'll write these out and then frame the originals to hang in the kitchen. Is that okay with you?"
"I love that idea."
He leaned his head in and took her lips in a long, tender kiss. It wasn't meant to spark their passion, but to express the depth of his love and gratitude to her.
When they separated, she could see the exhaustion gathering around his eyes. This walk down memory lane was gratifying, but emotionally tiring for him. Emma suggested that they heat up some leftovers and make it an early night. He had no objections.
Over the next few days, Clay noticed some changes around the apartment. Emma had framed the pictures of his grandparents. Placing the one when they were young on the console table in the living room along with photos of her parents, Mike, and a couple shots of the two of them. The other, when they were older, as Clay remembered them, appeared on his nightstand, next to the picture of Emma.
The photo album joined the ones from her family, sitting on the shelves in their bedroom. His carvings now sat next to the rock she painted for her mother, on the desk where she did her work. And, true to her word she mounted his Grandmother's recipes and hung them on the wall next to the kitchen table where he could see them each time they sat down for a meal.
Seeing these small reminders of his family scattered around their home gave him immeasurable joy. He could look back on his past and remember the good times, the life lessons, and the love. Getting these mementos, they left him was like getting their approval on his life and the choices he'd made. The choice to serve, the choice to be a SEAL, the choice to make a future and a family with Emma. He felt like they would be proud of him. And that feeling brought him a sense of peace he couldn't describe. It was a gift he didn't know he needed. But Emma had known. She knew him better than he knew himself and that was the biggest blessing of all.
*Clay & Emma's evening under the stars can be found in Chapter 81.*
